How to Warm up a Frigid Valentine
By RogueAngel

Summary: Harry and friends learn the hard way that it is never a good idea to follow Fred and George anywhere.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They belong to JK Rowling. No real harm was intended.

Chapter one

Fred Weasley bounded into his dormitory, flinging back the curtains of his twin's bed with a loud, "Ah ha! Here's where you've been hiding!"

George looked up at his brother, slightly disgruntled. "I haven't been hiding, I've been here...studying."

Fred gave him a knowing look. "Studying, were we?" He looked pointedly at the quill and parchment perched on his lap. "And just what were you studying."

Rolling up the parchment and shoving it under his pillow, George crossed his arms and leaned back against the headboard. "I was revising for potions, if you must know."

Sitting down at the foot of the bed, Fred smirked. "Never lie to yourself, my dear twin. It's impossible. Which means, you might as well not try lying to me! Honestly," he rolled his eyes, "you think I wouldn't notice?" George made to interrupt, but Fred held up his hand. "Never mind. Do you know what this weekend is? Saturday, specifically?" Blankly George shook his head. "Honestly, am I the brains and the beauty of this duo?"


"Just kidding, brother of mine," Fred smiled. "It's Valentine's Day! Time to make the move on Alicia, mate. Time to take that next step. And no wimpy love poems." He grinned maliciously at George's pillow where he had stashed the parchment. George blushed. "Besides, there is no way you can beat Ginny's valentine to Harry fourth year."

"You wrote that!" George sputtered.

"I did, I did...and it was brillant," Fred nodded sagely. "His eyes are like a fresh pickled toad....' Now if that doesn't bring tears to your loved ones' eyes, I don't know what will."

"You are mental," George couldn't help grinning back. "I think I'll stick to my own ideas, thanks. I want Alicia to go out with me...not run away screaming."

"Exactly!" Fred exclaimed. "You have to impress her. Do something different. No poems, no candies."

"Okay, I'll bite....what do you propose?"

Fred rubbed his hands together gleefully. "How about seeing Alicia...and Angelina, of course, in bathing suits? We'll take them to that hot water grotto we found in November. It's new. It's different. Show's we're not like other guys. And...." he paused for effect, "we get to see some skin!"

"Are you nuts?!" George asked, his eyebrows raised incredulously. "They would never go with us there. Swimming?! That's your romantic idea?"

Giving his brother a wounded look, Fred sniffed delicately. "Of course. What could be more romantic than a candle lit grotto filled with soft sand and hot water?. Lots of chances to goof around...or...sneak in some good groping! Or both at the same time, if you're gifted like me," he grinned broadly.

George shook his head. "That might work well for you. You and Angelina have been dating for ages, but Alicia and I are just far. You can't expect me to invite her there so that I can grab and grope her! Besides, they'd never trust us alone down there. We do have a reputation."

"True, true," Fred agreed. "But I've already thought of that. What if we bring some chaperones?"

"Chaperones?" repeated George. "What's the point in going if we're bringing chaperones? What? You going to invite McGonagal, or better yet, Snape? That'll really kill the mood!"

"Don't be a prat," Fred rebuked his brother. "It's all in who you pick. If you pick a couple of nice innocent people, who, say, might have a secret interest in each other...then while they are otherwise occupied we can have time with our girls, but our girls will feel safer because these other people are there. Do you get it?"

George thought about it for a moment, a sly smile slowly dawning on his face. "I see," he replied, tapping his long finger against his chin in thought. "If we invite, say, Ron and Hermione along with us..."

"The girls will feel better about the whole trip...."

"And our dear brother will be slobbering all over Hermione..."

"And she'll be so preoccupied with him...."

"We'll be home free!"

Fred smiled broadly. "I knew you must have inherited some of my brains! It's a brilliant plan. And there are enough hidden nooks and cranies for us to sneak away for a bit and no one will be the wiser!"

Suddenly George started shaking his head. "One minor glitch in your brilliant plan, O Brainy One. Harry. Ron and Hermione are so in denial about their feelings for each other that they would never consider going on what amounts to a double, or triple, date with us - on Valentine's Day, no less. And they would never want to leave Harry behind. And if Harry comes, then they won't be distracted and then we'll be out of luck."

Both twins sat thinking for a moment, then, as if a lightening bolt had burst from the sky, they looked up and grinned. "Ginny!" the said at the same time. George's smile faded a bit as he thought about it more. "Are we sure we want to set her up with Harry? I mean, I know she likes him and all, but...she's our little sister. I don't think she's ready for a boyfriend - I'm not ready for her to have a boyfriend."

Fred stood up and walked over to his trunk, digging for something, his mind obviously already made up. "Lighten up, will you? You know Harry. He's not going to do anything." He stood up and grinned again. "If anything it will make them both squirm. Think of the fun we can have!"

George looked at him thoughtfully. "Do you think Harry..? Do you think he could like her like that?"

"Don't know," Fred shrugged. "She is a Weasley after all, and we are a charming lot. But I'm not too worried about Harry. He knows he'd have to go through the six of us to get to her. He's not going to do anything....inappropriate. Now, me and Angelina on the other hand....."

"Oh please, just make sure you don't scare the kiddies, okay?"