A/N: This is a collaborative fic with DarkSireness929; the 'NC-17' version can be found on her Yahoo Group. Chapters will be alternately written with the exception being the 'NC-17' content added by the the other author. See my profile or hers for directions on accessing the file. As always, Happy Reading, and Please review. -Lovefremione and DarkSireness929.

Love's Desperate Measures Chapter One:

It was graduation day, and after seven long adventure filled years of pain and study, Harry's Hogwarts career was coming to an end. The sorting hat had been brought out once more to call their names one by one, and Harry was standing in line with the fellow 'P' students waiting patiently for his name to be called. He looked over the crowd and recalled how he once thought that there would be no one there for him; how wrong he was. Right there in the front row were a pair of 'Marauders'; two men that were like brothers to each other, but more like fathers to him. A vindicated Sirius Black was waving at him enthusiastically while a calm Remus Lupin tried to get him to put his arm down as the people behind Sirius were getting a little annoyed with the former convict. Harry smiled and waved discreetly back, glancing down at the new cuff links that Sirius and Remus had presented him with prior to the ceremony.


Harry was standing in front of the mirror in the seventh year boy's dorm room bathroom, nervously adjusting his collared shirt and formal Hogwarts tie. He was anxiously waiting for Ron to tell him when it was time to go down when a deep voice startled him from the doorway.

"Hey cub," Sirius bounced into the bathroom, "you're going to shred your tie if you keep that up."

"Siri," Harry launched himself at his godfather. "You came!"

"Of course we did cub," Remus said amusedly from the door. "You didn't think we would miss our Harry's graduation, did you?"

"Remy," Harry smiled and somewhat more sedately hugged the gentle werewolf. "What are you two doing here?"

Sirius and Remus exchanged nervous glances before Sirius finally cleared his throat and tried to explain, "Harry, know that we aren't trying to replace James, he was and is your father. But you are our cub as well and like a son to us. It's tradition to present your son with cufflinks on his graduation day; so Moony and I wanted to get these for you." Sirius held out a small black velvet jeweler's box for Harry to take.

Harry opened the box and gasped in surprise. Nestled inside satin lining was a pair of very unique cufflinks. The cufflinks were solid gold, but while one depicted a Gryffindor Lion, the other pictured a Slytherin Snake.

"We wanted to show you, despite how it might have seemed in the past, that we are very proud of not only your Gryffindor traits, but your Slytherin ones as well." Remus explained softly.

"They're beautiful guys, thanks." Harry hugged the men.


"Potter, Harry James,"

Harry walked sedately forward when his name was called, grinning like mad at Sirius's hoots and hollers and even Remus got into it, chanting his name. He accepted the piece of paper from Headmaster Albus Dumbledore that officially proclaimed him a graduate of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and shook the elder man's hand.

"Come to my office later this evening Harry, we need to talk," Dumbledore told him in a low voice.

Harry frowned but nodded anyway before continuing down the line of former Professor's shaking each of their hands. When he reached his once hated Potion's Professor, Harry looked up into the man's eyes and smiled slightly.

"Mr. Potter," Severus Snape said shaking the boy's hand. "I had once thought that a dunderhead such as yourself would never make it this far, however I am very glad that I was wrong. You've grown into a truly remarkable young man and it has been my privilege to teach you; and to learn from you as well." Severus rubbed his forearm lightly where the dark mark used to reside.

Harry blushed a little, "Professor Snape, you talk as if this is goodbye forever; no worries, I fully intend to visit often."

Severus grimaced a little but smirked at the impertinent boy anyway, rolling his eyes. "Yes well, I might have reason to visit you," He said glancing over Harry's shoulder towards the shouting voice of one Lord Black.

Harry's eyes widened a little and he smirked back at the usually stoic Potion's Master. "I'll see you later Professor," he said winking. Harry walked down the stairs at the end of the platform and that's when all hell broke loose.

The final showdown between Harry James Potter and Lord Voldemort, aka Tom Marvolo Riddle Jr., came somewhat unexpectedly and with an anticlimactic ending.

The ensuing battle had been short-lived and victorious for the side of the 'light'. The Malfoy's had proved a great surprise for the battle weary Harry when he had happened across them. Mother and Son, Narcissa Malfoy née Black had been holding Lucius Malfoy at wand point while Draco bound him. Draco had caught Harry's eyes briefly before nodding at him at gesturing towards the shrieking shack. Harry had nodded back briefly meeting Narcissa's eyes before continuing on his path.

A surge of pure magic had rolled across the school grounds letting everyone know that the final confrontation had begun, the rolls of magic leaving the battle weary souls weak kneed. When death eaters begun to fall one after the other, the battlefield's occupants knew that it was over and that Lord Voldemort was well and truly gone.

Later in the infirmary Harry lay quietly in a bed refusing to talk about what happened other than to say that Voldemort was dead.

"Harry my boy," Dumbledore greeted the recovering teen. "We need to talk about where you will be staying."

Harry looked up from where he had been staring out the window. The stars seemed so innocent; he wondered how they could still twinkle after watching so much bloodshed. "What do you mean; I'm going to live with Sirius."

Dumbledore sighed, "Unfortunately you cannot."

"What do you mean I can't? I fought your bloody battle; I killed the bad guy. You said that after Voldemort was gone I wouldn't have to go back there anymore." Harry grit his teeth in anger. "You know what he does to me Professor. Why? Why do I have to go back? I'm of age aren't I?"

"You are of age in the wizarding world yes Harry, but you are still a part of the muggle world, and as such you must remain in the care of your guardians until you are of age in their world as well. My hands are tied Harry." Dumbledore tried hard to convince the boy that he could do nothing.

"That's ridiculous Professor, why haven't you ever mentioned that before? Ah," Harry had a sudden insight, "you never thought that I would live through the final battle did you?"

"Harry, my boy," Albus scrambled for a reasonable explanation, "I was trying to protect you. I had no doubts that we would succeed in our endeavor. I merely thought that you would be happier if you didn't have 'this' hanging over your head."

Harry raised a single eyebrow, "The last time I checked Professor, I was the one that was forced to murder, not you."

"Now Harry," Albus scolded, "the battle was not won by just one person."

"I never said it was."

Albus sighed; why must the boy be so difficult, if the Dursley's had just treated the boy as he had bid them, he wouldn't be here arguing with the teenager now. "Harry, the fact remains that you have to go back; you will leave tonight."

"Wait, Sirius and Remus are coming for me tonight." Harry protested.

"I will let them know what has happened. Now," Albus continued over Harry's protestations, "you know that there are of course dark supporters that were never marked, so we will have to continue being careful. These people would have no qualms over coming after you, especially now that their Lord is truly gone."

"So not only do I have to go back to that hell hole, but I'm being imprisoned again. Do I at least get to send and receive mail?" Harry asked bitterly. He knew what would happen as soon as he set foot back on Privet Drive.

Albus pretended to sigh regretfully, "I must insist that Hedwig remain here Harry. She is far too noticeable, and we cannot take the chance that she would be followed. After all, the blood wards no longer remain."

"Do they know that I'm coming back?"

"I spoke with them personally my boy; I also explained that the 'spankings' must cease."

"Yeah, spankings," Harry rolled over to once again gaze out the window. He wished he could join the stars.

Harry had been back with the Dursley's for a month now. Needless to say Uncle Vernon hadn't been too thrilled when Harry had apparated into the back yard.

"Get inside you freak before the neighbors see," Vernon had hissed at the boy. "Now we have to put up with your worthless hide again. Don't think that just because you've become a murderer that we are going to let you off easy, we're not afraid of you."

"Yes Uncle Vernon," Harry bowed his head.

That had been little over a month ago and Harry had spent a lot of time in his cupboard since. When he wasn't playing house elf during the day; he was locked in the cupboard, but at night…at night there was no escape. It was like he was a little child again instead of nearly an adult. Uncle Vernon would come to him, speaking softly, almost lovingly, but his hands were harsh and brutal.

Harry had been seven the first time is Uncle had come to him like that. Aunt Petunia and Dudley had been gone, a mini vacation and Harry had been left with his Uncle. After an exhausting day of chores, especially for a small malnourished seven year old boy, his Uncle had bid him go take a shower. Harry had been thrilled; a shower was a luxury for a freak like him and he didn't receive them often. When little Harry's bruised and scarred back had been turned towards the door, his Uncle had stepped into the steam coated room. Harry had felt a large hand trace down his back, fingering the latest vicious looking whip mark and he had jumped; frightened. His Uncle hadn't wasted any time though forcing little Harry onto his knees and pushing his fat disgusting cock in the boys mouth. It had escalated from there, getting worse as he got older.

The first time his Uncle had raped him had been the summer before second year, the summer he had been locked in Dudley's second bedroom windows barred. When he had tried to fight back; the beatings had just got worse. Eventually Harry had stopped fighting him and gave in. He had told Dumbledore once, but the man had said there was nothing he could do. So Harry had never mentioned it again. Not even to Sirius and Remus, the two men he now thought of as father figures.

Now here Harry was again, at Number Four, broken, bleeding and emotionally distraught from the latest beating and subsequent rape while lying on the floor just waiting; waiting for his birthday to arrive. He didn't know if anyone was coming for him, all he knew is that if he didn't leave on his birthday, he wouldn't be alive to leave later on. Uncle Vernon was standing over him, tucking his cock back into his trousers. The vicious man had left with one more kick to his already battered body; strolling out of the door casually, as if he hadn't just raped his wife's nephew and left him a bleeding broken mess on the floor of his cupboard.

Another month passed, and Harry's eighteenth birthday was tomorrow or tonight at midnight if you rather. Harry was unable to even walk now. Beatings, blood loss, and atrophied muscles keeping him bedridden. His pale, very emaciated form was littered with bruises and lacerations, his skin carved, and his backside a bloody mess from rape. Death was imminent he figured, but so was his birthday. Harry couldn't tell you which one he preferred; both granted a freedom that he longed for. In death he would be with his parents again; or would he? Harry was sure now that he, a murderer, would end up in hell; surely his parents did not reside in hell. Every time his Uncle Vernon had come to him, he told him that this was what he deserved. Every crack of the belt, every blow of a fist, every thrust of his invading cock was what Harry deserved for being a murderer.

He had been responsible for his parent's death, for Cedric's death, for all the deaths during the final battle. All those deaths were on his shoulders and he deserved everything he got and so much more. Harry believed him now; he believed his Uncle's every word, or why else would he be here forced to endure this; why else would he still be alive. His birthday would ensure his freedom from his relatives; and not even Dumbledore or the Minister of Magic could force him back. But where would he go, Sirius wouldn't want a murderer like him, the wizarding world wouldn't want the 'savior' that had killed.

Harry painfully turned his head to look at the repaired alarm clock that resided on a mended side table, 11:59, one minute to freedom one way or another. He watched blearily as numbers shifted now reading 12 o'clock, midnight. "Happy birthday to me," Harry whispered in the darkness. He painfully rolled onto his side and tried to sit up, slowly but surely he was eventually able to get his arms beneath him and lever himself into a sitting position. Clutching the side table for support, he tremblingly got to his feet, feeling every muscle and bone protest the movement. All he had to do was get the small pillowcase of things that he was taking. A few shrunken books, his invisibility cloak, the marauder's map, his photo album, and his wand. He tried to hoist the pillowcase full of his few belongings over his shoulder, but the pain was too much, so he dragged it. Even with a feather light charm he was unable to lift the small bit of fabric containing his meager possessions.

Harry really wished that they had taught basic healing at Hogwarts; then at least he would have been able to heal some of the damage. He couldn't do it anymore though; even the feather charm had been almost too much. His magic was doing everything it could to sustain his life at the moment and nothing else. Harry valiantly put one trembling foot in front of the other aiming for the door. He hoped that he had enough magic for a simple unlocking charm otherwise he would be stuck here.

One step, two; then two cracks of apparition were heard behind him. Harry instinctively whirled, but it was too much and he toppled to the floor with a pained cry.

"Oh Merlin Harry," Sirius yelled rushing forward Remus on his heels.

"What happened cub," Remus asked while trying to ease Harry into a more comfortable position.

"I, I didn't think you would come," Harry whispered.

"Of course we came cub," Sirius replied waving his wand around trying to cast a few general healing charms.

"Siri, it hurts," Harry moaned. When his backside had collided with the unrelenting floor many cuts had re-opened and blood began to pool around them. His arse had begun to bleed again as well, most of the blood coming from there.

"Sirius, we have to get him to St. Mungo's; we can't fix this," Remus whispered urgently while trying to keep the wolf in check.

"Moony," Sirius responded brokenly.

"Sirius Orion Black, pick up our godson now and apparate to St. Mungo's," Remus growled letting his wolf show a little more.

Sirius responded to the voice of authority cradling his frail godson in his arms.

"Go Padfoot, I'll get his stuff and meet you there."

Sirius nodded and told Harry to hold on not noticing his cub had slipped into a state of unconsciousness, and apparated to St. Mungo's.

"Hold on Harry," Remus whispered following his brother and their cub. "Dear Merlin hold on."

This Chapter Written By: Loverfremione

(There is an alternative 'NC-17' version of this chapter available, see A/N above for instructions on how to access it.)