Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter or Phineas and Ferb. :(

A/N- This is a really stupid story that just popped into my head. It's Voldemort's POV, and I would appreciate it if you dropped a review. Even an "I Hate It." But... a nice review would be nice. So, please? You'll get a surprise... :)

So it all started with a sad girlfriend. It was a couple of days after I killed the Ced guy. I was feeling quite guilty, cuz someone told me he has this girlfriend who's really sad, and I hate making girlfriends sad. Yes, I'm evil. But I have a weak point for sad girlfriends. I was desperate to let Lily Potter go. That should say a couple of things about me. Don't you think?

So anyways, I felt so guilty I decided to lay low for a bit. People must really hate me. Not only did I kill someone and achieve world domination, I made his girlfriend sad. Bad Voldy. Bad Voldy.

So I pulled a few strings, killed a couple of random guys, and landed myself in a nice cozy apartment. I planned to find out of if Harry Potter had a girlfriend who was sad a lot, because if he did, before I pulled off my Master Plot to Destroy Harry Potter That Involves Sirius and Kreacher, or MPTDHPTISAK, or Monkeys Plotting the Dark Harry Potter Tots In School At Karkaroffe's (house), or just "Monkey", I'd have to kill the GIRLFRIEND, which was really annoying because it would definitely take some time. But ya gotta do what ya gotta do, and if ya gotta kill sad girlfriends, do it, man, do it.

So I sat in my apartment, picked up the yellow pages, and phoned the Want Weird Info? For Evil Peeps! hotline, and the signal was busy, and then my phone went dead. Naturally, I tapped it with my wand, but it didn't work. So I slammed it with my wand. And it kind of exploded and suddenly, a pointy guy was standing in my living room.

"Who are you?" I demanded.

"Heinz Doofenshmirtz, pleasure," he said brightly, shaking my hand. "Right now I'm trying to surf Want Weird Info? For Evil Peeps! hotline, in order to escape my evil nemesis—"

"Wait back up!" I exclaimed. "You have a nemesis??"

"Yup. Perry the Platypus."

"So you're evil!"

"Yes! Are you? What's your name?"

"Tom Marvelo Riddle! Only don't call me that! Or I'll probably kill you! Call me Voldie! Or Master! I do not like being referred to as Moldy Bread, however. And about your question: I sure am! Oh don't you hate watching those clueless bad guys killing their nemesises and not having any fun?"
"Yes! It is so annoying!"

I beamed. What an awesome guy. "Do you know Harry Potter, Doof?"

"No, but he sounds awful. A real goody."

"Right! He's my nemesis!"

"Hey, wanna be friends?"


"By the way, I heard on the news yesterday that Harry Potter—that's your nemesis, right?--he doesn't have a girlfriend. I mean, wow."

I let out a whoop and jumped in the air.

My best friend and I walked arm in arm away, to do some fun plotting.