This was written as a challenge fic for WWIKTT. Story must include:

everlasting/undying love

Lady/Woman in Red

a red rose (single or the full dozen - or more?!)

little red hearts on someone's clothing/article of clothing

ear nibbling

Madame Pomfrey's OR Severus Snape's potion for unrequited love

Someone must sashay into the room/hall/classroom/...dungeon?!?!

Snape must be referred to as "Lover Boy"

Someone must swoon

Someone must be swept (by someone OR something) up, away, or into ____

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"Ron! What kind of valentine is this?" Hermione said angrily, waving the card emblazened with flying Quiddich players.

"What's wrong with it? It says `Happy Valentine's Day' on the front, and it's got Chudley Cannons stats on the back-- it's perfect: romantic and practical."

"No. Lavender got a single, red rose with `Darling, my love for you is undying, everlasting through the ages.' written on the stem in gold ink. That's romantic. This is just, just--imbecilic."

"Sure it is-- romantic, I mean. Besides, you wouldn't know romantic if it bit you in the-"

"That's not true!"

"Oh, yes it is!"

"Well then, Weasley-" Hermione countered, "I suppose you want me to want me to wear a red robe-" her wand twiched- "like a hooker. And I suppose you want me to sashy across the room-" she continued, mincing forward "and swoon into your arms, showing off my brand new, frilly, lace, heart encrusted panties. And I suppose- Erk!" she said, tripping over Ron's backpack and landing at his feet.

"Miss Granger." said Professor Snape, bearing down on them with a vengeance. "What, exactly, is the meaning of this?"

"Meaning of what?" said Hermione, trying gamely to look innocent.

"Meaning of this." Snape gestured at Hermionine, robes discheveled, sprawled at Ron's feet.

"Oh this-" smirked Ron " This is how `Mione looks after I sweep her off her feet and before she nibbles on my ear."

"I see. And you would do well to remember, Mr. Weasly, that I am perfectly capable of brewing a unrequited love potion, and bribing the house elves to slip it in your pumpkin juice."

"And if he doesn't, I will." said Hermione, angrily. "Nibbles on your ear, honestly! What do you think I am, Pig?" Ron glared at her, hurt.

"I suppose" he said, indicating Snape, "that you'd rather go for the Slytherin's Lover Boy, then."

"I assure you, Mr.Weasley, that Draco is quite busy at the moment. I suggest you continue your work before your caldron boils over completely. Unless, of course, you'd like to be covered with fur."

Happy Valentine's Day, all!