This fanfiction takes place during and after episode 22 of the Neon Genesis Evangelion TV series, Asuka's mind-rape. This story was not intended to infringe on the rights of Gainax, ADV, or Viz. Thanks to all who helped inspire me to write this fic, Andrew Huang, Drakken Fyre, and Al-I-bus! This is a slight reworking and addition to the original Asuka's Plea, which might shed some light upon events in the sequel!
Revision 4/8/99: I've decided to rename this Neon Genesis Evangelion-Adam and Eve: Asuka's Plea. All of the old stories will be part of this series.
Revision 8/28/01: Okay! I'm back to EVA from Ranma at the request of several readers to finish Adam and Eve! I won't lie and assure you that I'll finish this time, but I can assure you that it will be one hell of a ride in the meantime! I'm completely revising the story so you can expect a lot of new material in later chapters, as for this one, I think it came out rather well the first time, don't you?
Revision 8/30/01: I've decided to rename the fic, it will now be just "Adam and Eve."
Adam and Eve: Chapter One
A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fanfiction
By Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton
It had begun to rain by the time Shinji could escape from NERV headquarters and find Asuka amongst the rubble. He found her huddled on a rooftop, rocking herself back and forth on her heels, in a section cordoned off by yellow NERV tape. The building was not one of the taller skyscrapers so he was able to watch EVA-02 sink slowly into the ground as retrieval teams scrabbled to get the organism out of the rain. With no idea what he should do in this situation, Shinji simply stood behind the tape and watched Asuka curl into a fetal ball on the cold hard concrete.
The attack had been violent, violent not physically as most Angel Attacks were but psychologically violent. The attack was sharp and cutting like the surgeon's scalpel, digging into the furthest reaches of Asuka's mind and tainting it with the black slime of sealed away memories. Shinji watched as she twitched feebly on the stone, her rubber plugsuit squeaking against the rooftop, and cursed his father again. He was at the root of the problem, the black figure that haunted his dreams at night, a bogeyman from his childhood that was all too real and far more frightening because of the fact. He should have disobeyed his father, forced the Eva upward into the rain-soaked streets and saved Asuka by force, what had prevented him? After all, was he not in possession of the strongest EVA?
Shinji knew all to well the answer to his unspoken question: Fear. An emotion he was all too familiar with, fear was at the root of his problems. Fear of rejection, fear of responsibilities, fear of pain, fear of his father. The fears at times threatened to engulf his mindbefore he came to Tokyo 3. Since his arrival the fears had lessened to a certain degree, but like a bad habit, some fears refused to evaporate. His hand clenched at his side.
He hesitantly opened his mouth to speak.
"Shut up, Shinji! I don't need your pity! I don't need anyone!" Asuka screamed, her voice muffled by the plugsuit over her mouth. She curled even closer if it were possible. Shinji stood as she ranted on, weeping cries breaking the monotony of her pain and anguish, patiently waiting for her to tire or fall asleep. The sky had visibly darkened, gray clouds hovering over the sun once again as the heavens opened wide the floodgates and drenched the two children, perhaps the only two people left alive in Tokyo 3, above ground.
Eventually Shinji broke the yellow tape, unheeding the notice of psychological contamination, and pulled Asuka's wet body to him, a bold move for such a shy boy. She didn't try to resist, only giving token insults and a half-hearted blow to the back of his head as he wrapped her in a NERV rescue blanket. It did little to protect them from the elements, but then again they were already drenched anyway so Shinji helped Asuka stumble to the exit, her plugsuit producing a wet squeaky noise as she moved. So down they went on their way to Misato's apartment, never once seeing another living creature in the hail of rain and the bright strobe of lightning. Tokyo 3 was as good as dead now, no one lived in it except for NERV personnel and even they spent most of their time in the staff dorms deep underground for their protection. After a long trek, sloshing through puddles and shivering through thunder, the duo arrived at the intact apartment building of Misato Katsuragi.
As Shinji entered he didn't bother to ask if anyone was home, Misato was still at NERV or at Kaji's. Ever since his unfortunate disappearance, Misato had taken to staying at NERV all night and if she did come home the night was filled with the clatter of empty beer bottles thrown across the living room or the sounds of her howling cries filtering through the walls. He was glad she wasn't home, it would have done little for Asuka's well-being. Asuka mumbled something under her breath as he dragged her to her room, probably something Shinji would want to have heard anyway. As he watched her fall into her bed and cry into the sheets; he, in a brief moments of boldness, followed her inside and depressed the right wrist button on her plugsuit. As air flooded the uniform Shinji picked up Asuka's legs and swung them upwards onto the bed. Confident that she would sleep then, Shinji backed out of the room and slid her door shut.
The apartment was a mess, with empty liquor bottles strewn about along with NERV files and data disks. Misato had gone downhill fast since Kaji's death, and now even Shinji was beginning to feel the strain of his loss, who would he talk to now, man to man? Certainly not his father, and definitely not Makoto or Aoba, he didn't know any of them well enough. Suddenly he realized in a brief moment of clarity that he was alone nowMisato was just a shell, Rei a doll, Kensuke and Touji gone with their families, Pen-Pen gone to live with the Horaki familyand the thought chilled him to the bone.
Late at night, when Misato had passed out and Asuka had stopped snoring, Shinji would think about himself and the future. While not an uncommon thing for boys to do, Shinji would sometimes reflect on his life, how it had started with pain, how now the happiness he'd enjoyed for so long was now degenerating back into pain. On that night, as dead silence reigned in the apartment, Shinji started at the now familiar ceiling and thought of Asuka.
Why had he done that? Why had he taken such initiative and helped her? After all, she had spurned him on numerous occasions, even going so far as physical attacks, so why did he help her back to the apartment instead of leaving her to fend for herself? Was it that he couldn't face such a broken person, couldn't allow them to be alone in some form of conscience towards his tormentor? Or was it that he had feelings for his fellow pilot? Hmmand interesting idea. Did he have feelings for Asuka? Shinji supposed he did, after all didn't they make a good team before with the seventh Angel? Didn't he look out for her in the volcano? Was it possible he wasin love with Asuka?
No. Of course not! If he was in love with anyone it was Rei, Rei who reminded him of his mother but at the same time was her own person with feelings mirroring his own. And yet, wasn't there an undercurrent of envy at Rei for her almost casual relationship with his father, one that he could never have? Yes, Shinji conceded, he was jealous of Rei, but he was also jealous of Asuka, of how it was so easy for her to speak her mind and make new friends while he floundered. If it was not love for Asuka was it hate?
Deciding that he'd had enough introspection for the night, Shinji rolled over onto his side to go back to sleep when he saw Asuka.
She was standing in the doorway, her long red hair falling down her back, her plugsuit loose around her body like a cloak. Shinji watched as she took a single, hesitant step inside his room, her fingers curled around the doorframe like claws. No sooner had the pale moonlight streaming from his window touched her shapely leg, the creamy pallor of her flesh blue in the darkness, than she hissed as if it stung and ran from his room. He didn't dare move as his door slammed shut, bounced, before ending ajar. All that was left of her presence was the open door, Shinji's amazement, and a few stray hairs blowing in the breeze.
Should he go after her? Did he hate her? More important, did he love her? The questions could wait he reasoned, first he had to go after her.
He found her back in her room, the plugsuit lying in a pile at the foot of her bed. She was curled around her sheets in the pitch room, her weeping pushing past him as he watched her writhe. "A-Asuka?" Shinji slid her door open fully to let the moonlight from the living room illuminate her cave.
"Go away!! I don't need your pityShinji Ikari!!!" She threw her pillow at his face but ended up hitting the floor. She looked up from the tangled mass of cloth long enough for Shinji to glimpse the tired, reddened eyes and her unruly hair. "Get away from me you pathetic little boyyou can't help me, I won't let you!" Ah! The root of the problem, her unwillingness to admit defeat or assistance from those around her, Shinji already understood her massive inferiority complex as Kaji explained it, but couldn't fathom the cause, Kaji had never mentioned the reason behind her rages. He looked down at his hand, unconsciously clenching in the darkness, his white skin almost translucent in the light. He wouldn't run away from a teammate, no matter how annoying or violent she may be, the same went for Rei. No matter the level of pity and anger he held towards her before their mission against the fifth Angel, he wasn't about to let her die in the Entry Plug after their victory.
"Asukawhat's wrong?" Shinji pushed her discarded plugsuit under her bed, watching her curl even tighter as he approached. Overcome with a wave of sudden courage and bolstered by the idea of helping someone in need, Shinji sat heavily next to the trembling girl and lay a hand on her head. Asuka twisted away from his touch, so Shinji instead pulled the blanket away from her face to reveal her shattered psyche. Never in all their months fighting side-by-side would Shinji have believed his comrade could cry with such loss and anguish in her soft features. "Asuka"
"Shut up, Shinji! I don't want your pity!!" Asuka drew her hand back to slap him across the face and to her everlasting surprise the blow connected and sent him flailing across the room. Asuka sat up off the bed, stupefied at what she had done. Astonishment, however, twisted into rage as hot tears rolled down her face and left round marks on her blanket. She stood up and kicked Shinji roughly, in the coccyx then knelt down and began to beat on his chest and slap his face, all the while demanding why he didn't fight back. Shinji groaned and yelped under the onslaught but did nothing to hamper the German's righteous fury.
"Why, Shinji?!" Another lap, this one split his lip. "Why don't you fight back!?" Another kick to his soft stomach. "Why are you just taking this!? Because you're stupid?" Asuka's voice caught in her throat and a hacking wail broke through. "B-becausey-you care?" She fell to her knees beside his bruised body, his face already sporting a real shiner. "WHY!?!?" She cradled Shinji's head in her lap, her hands at once going from pulling his short brown hair to running gently through it as her tears splashed on his face.
Shinji lifted his head slowly, one eye swelled shut and blood spilling from his lip. "B-becauseI think I" He passed out before finishing his sentence. Asuka looked back at his peaceful face, then began beating on his chest once again, crying and wailing at him to wake up, to tell her what he meant, to fight back but Shinji never woke to her cries. Eventually, exhausted from her ordeal and mental anguish, Asuka fell into a fitful sleep
Why do you push Shinji away? "Because I hate him!!!!" Why don't you talk to Misato? "Because she stole Kaji away!!!" Kaji never loved you...he used you to get closer to Misato. "No that's not true!!!" Do you love Shinji? "NO!!!!" Why do you hurt Shinji? "Because he's stupid!" Is he stupid because he cares for you? "Yes!" Why? "Because I'm dirty and weak, I'm worthless! Why would he care for me? Why would anyone?" Why do you think that? "Because it's true!" Because your parents abandoned you. "Yes!" Because you failed as a pilot. "Yes!" Because Shinji saved you. "Yes!" Because Ayanami saved you. "Yes! God how many times do I have to say it? Yes!" You are useless. "Whywhy are you telling me this?" You are beneath noticea failure. "W-what should I do than?" Why don't you just run away?
There was blackness in the deepest regions of her mind.
There were unrequited feelings she wished not to reveal or acknowledge.
The beast was growing inside her, pushing everything out of its way.
Asuka floated in the void of anxiety
Asuka stood on a rooftop overlooking Tokyo 3, a rooftop looking remarkably like the one she was just huddled on earlier that day. Boxed into a square of NERV yellow security tape, she found herself powerless as the hulking form of Zeruel appeared from the ground, fluttering arms glinting threateningly in the dusk sunlight. Soon she was not alone; Hikari Horaki materialized in back of her and all of a sudden, Zeruel was not a threat to her any longer
"Asuka, why do you push Shinji away?" The class representative's uniform was cut considerably shorter than regulation and the blouse showed just a hint of Hikari's creamy breasts.
"Because I hate him!!!!"
"Why don't you talk to Misato?"
"Because she stole Kaji away!!!"
"Kaji never loved you...he used you to get closer to Misato." She had heard this before, where she could not say. The words were familiar and somehow distant, like a half-remembered dream.
"No that's not true!!!"
"Do you love Shinji?"
"Fine then, I'll take him." Hikari turned to her side and Shinji appeared to take her arm, Hikari smiled, "Well Asuka, guess who took your man!" Horaki draped her body against his and her blouse fell away, revealing no bra but two rounded breasts with ruby nipples pressing into Shinji's chest. Asuka watched in morbid fascination as Shinji's clothes fell away and Hikari shot her a cruel smirk as their lips met, the couple's clothing falling away as they did. Unable to deal with the anxieties dredged up from her subconscious, Asuka did the only thing she could do in the situation
Abruptly the scene changed from the barren desert of Tokyo 3 and the copulating phantoms of Shinji and Hikari, to the deck of the pride of the UN Fleet, the aircraft-carrier Over the Rainbow'. She looked around her, noticing that everything was sideways she recognized the memory of her time on the ship. She sat up from the make-shift dock, pink fluid sloshing across the floats as EVA Unit 02 moved imperceptibly in the holding tank. She was back, back at the time and setting of her greatest heartbreak
"Kaji-san?" The name was spoken shakily, she knew exactly where she was.
Kaji looked up at her body as he lay on the planks, his hands behind his head, smoking a cigarette. "What Asuka?"
"Do you love me?" It was spoken from all around her, she knew that she had not uttered the words that would facilitate such a cruel memory.
"Why?" Again, the voices came on like a strange cacophony, some she recognized, other she had never heard in her life. She grasped her ears, the loose plugsuit over her shoulders falling off to reveal her smooth, rounded chest for Kaji to see, and shook her head violently in denial.
"Because you're immature and arrogant, thoughtless and brash, no one would love
one such as that."
"You can't mean that!" This time it was her voice, choked with tears, that spoke to the hollow memories of her greatest failures. She crumpled to the metal grating and pounded her fists into the mesh. Bashing her soft knuckles into the unyielding steel and spilling rivulets of blood into the already pink fluid below.
"I do." He swatted Asuka away like a gnat; she splashed into the pinkish coolant. Asuka struggled to stay above the slippery chemical that burned her eyes and stung her throat but was dragged down by the thick fluid, her kicks powerless, and her efforts futile. Kaji turned his back to her, a final show of defiance. The world around her went dark for a moment before exploding with a single white spotlight at the entrance to the chamber.
"I'll take Shinji off your hands Asuka! He doesn't deserve you!" Hikari had
her hands all over Shinji, caressing his soft skin.
"Pathetic!" Ritsuko and Maya appeared as Hikari faded, breathing was beginning to grow difficult, Asuka's legs were tiring with the effort to keep afloat.
"Test scores show that Asuka's synch ratio is under 0.00000%" Maya burned her test score printouts, the flickering flame casting her face in angry yellow.
"You disappoint me." Ikari appeared from the darkness behind Ritsuko, his eyes glaring at Asuka across the room. He turned swiftly on his heel and faded like all the others. Soon it was only Rei and Shinji inhabiting her nightmarish stage as she gurgled and spat her way to oblivion at the bottom of the tank.
"Do you love me?" Shinji's pleading haunted eyes stared wistfully through her.
"...." Rei's red orbs focused on Asuka as if draining her oxygen supply. And with that, the pilots disappeared, leaving Asuka to a slow death in a hell of her own making
SEELE 01: We have lost the Lance of Longinus.
SEELE 11: Ikari was at fault
SEELE 04: His resistance is at the root of this problem.
SEELE 06: We never should have trusted him with such an important purpose
SEELE 09: NERV has become a Mecca for traitorsit is time to clean house.
SEELE 01: No, not yetThird Impact is almost fulfilled, the Scrolls detail that a corruption will take place before the ultimate rapture
SEELE 12: We should interrogate Dr. Akagi and Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki.
SEELE 02: The loss of the Mother must not go unpunished.
SEELE 01: No punishmentnot yet. Ikari is planning something, let us see this through to the end.
Misato looked quickly around her before entering her apartment. The feeling had been nagging at her since Kaji's death, the feeling of closeness, of being watched from afar. She knew that the Children were being followed, and Ritsuko and Fuyutsukibut her? So far nothing had appeared to imply that the feelings were nothing more than that, feelings; however, the darkness around her doorway and the deathly still surrounding Tokyo 3 simply put her on edge on a purely instinctual level. The humid air hung around the city and she could still make out repair crews in the suburbs.
Turning back to her house, it had ceased to be a home since Kaji's death, Misato walked into the darkened kitchen and took three cans of beer. The apartment was quiet in the night, sometimes Asuka would cry, or snore, Shinji would have a nightmare about Rei, or the Chamber of Graf; tonight no one needed her. At times she would think, today I feel like a mother', other times she would think, I feel I've failed the Children', tonight those thoughts didn't come, just a nagging fatigue. She stripped off in the living room, her red jacket and hat crumpled on the sofa, and looked out the window at the ruined buildings across the way. Had she failed them today? Had she failed Asuka today?
A clatter of glass and the screech of the door alerted Misato to Asuka, dragging a single, heavy valise out into the hallway.
"Where do you think you're going, Asuka?" Apparently Asuka hadn't realized she was not alone in the apartment as she spun around and the Major could see streams of tears glittering in the moonlight, the only source of illumination amid the thick darkness over the room. "Where's Shinji-kun?" Asuka did not reply, just stood staring at Misato in astonishment. "Asuka?" The auburn-haired girl grabbed the suitcase and dashed through the hallway and out the door before Misato could react. "Asuka! Asuka, what's wrong!? Come back!!" The purple-haired woman ran after her charge but as she stepped out into the humid night, no trace of her child could be found save a single red synch clip, spinning slowly on the concrete balcony.
"The Second Child has left Tokyo 3just as you predicted." An aged hand tapped impatiently on a smoked-glass desktop. He was growing less and less tolerant of his associate's penchant for plotting.
Another hand, this one swaddled in gauze bandages, picked up an obsidian stone and placed it upon one of the many intersections decorating the board. "YesSEELE has called for Dr. Akagi to assist them in certain inquiries'." The man forgot to mention that his opponent's name was also at the head of that list, next to his own of course.
"Abduction is more likelySEELE seldom does anything these days discretely." The wrinkled hand moved a creamy stone across the board.
"They doit is just that we are looking for things that seem out of place, if we did not know what to expect we would have no indication that SEELE was behind it at alluntil she returned." The bandaged hand hesitated for a moment on one stone before moving another. His opponent frowned in the darkness and scratched his chin.
"DamnStill, doesn't this leave us wanting?" The slender hand shook slightly as it moved a white piece straight into the centre of his opponent's offense. He chuckled softly.
"Nowe have other alternativeseverything is going according to the schedule." The wrapped hand placed a single stone. "You are doneold friend."
"DamnI wish I never introduced you to this game" The statement was multi-layered, the old man leaned back in his chair.
---Two years later---
Asuka walked limply into her apartment, looking for all intents and purposes like a wraith. Her eyes, once vibrant, were dull and lifeless. Her posture, once proud, was slouched and tired. Life had not been easy for the past two years, on the run from NERV agents and living under a false name did not make for permanent living accommodations, but somehow she was managing. She shut the steel door to her apartment with a dull click, not even bothering to lock for safety's sake.
She had cut her hair. Once auburn locks cascaded down her back like a warm blanket and around her shoulders, now her hair was cut short to only cover the back of her neck and done up in a short ponytail. Her bangs remained from before she left but were just slightly longer, long enough the hide the anguished and haunted kind of look she developed of late. Gone was the layer of baby-fat, in it's place was a thin and emaciated-looking young girl on the run from ghosts from her past, both real and imagined. Whereas once she prided herself on her body, now she wished to strip away the burden of flesh and join her mother in the void, only a misguided sense of guilt and unrequited love kept her alive.
She wore the same outfits she took with her from Tokyo 3, of course they had needed alterations since then but in general she had not filled out too much in the two years AWOL. She made ends meet with small jobssome rather pedestrian, some of the more exotic variety. It is said that when one loses faith, life becomes a mere shadow of it's former self, nothing could be more true in Asuka's case. Her soul had fled the cage of her body, ripped unwillingly by her mind from the comfortable environment of Tokyo 3 and left to survive without the body, truly she had left her soul there. Asuka had no sense of self-worth any longer, no job was too demeaning, no task too humiliating if it allowed her to survive another day away from her greatest fearNERV.
Being a modern apartment, even a modern apartment in the slums of Hiroshima 2, she had a television. She considered it a mixed blessing, for as she ran and ran from her responsibilities and the horrors of the Angel War she was able to watch Shinji and Rei defeat the remaining Angels and bring about peace, a peace she could have helped bring about. She watched as the news broke that Shinji had defeated the seventeenth and last Angel with mixed feelings. One, feelings of anger that Shinji would presume to steal the spotlight from her (although no mention of her disappearance was mentioned on the news or radio), and two, a feeling of calm. Since the Angels were gone and the last dispatched, NERV degraded from alert status to code yellow, perhaps they would stop looking for her
Asuka sat up out of the furo and dried herself off, she couldn't stand the feeling of someone else's sweat on her body, in the intimate crevices of her womanhood, but at least it helped stave off rent for another month. She walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen, preparing a spartan meal mechanically. She ate methodically, eyes never straying from the event horizon of her dimming memories, and cleaned up after herself on automatic. The dark hours before sleep came and the day ended were the hardest, the times when she seriously contemplated suicide, she dreaded the ominous look of her bedroom door staring back at her from across the living room like a leering demonor Angel. She shook her head to dispel the images from her mind, images from the Eva, images from the rape of the fifteenth, images of the repulsive smile of smug self-satisfaction plastered across her mother's hanging corpse. Perhaps Rei lived like this
Rei. She had become like Rei. A soulless doll moving about in a grotesque mockery of life, pretending to live and breath and eat but instead having no compunction to do the tasks save the puppetry of an unknown master. Perhaps it was God's trick on her, to make her stay alive forever but never truly live again. After shrugging on her nightshirt she realized how much like Rei she had become, alone, non-syllabic. The door opened with a horrid creaking as if the crypt of nightmares had been opened to release Hell upon the world or Pandora was repeating her past mistake. She stopped. Hot tears began to well up from the deepest pits of her heart and she threw her nightstand across the room, the synthetic wood shattering into splinters upon impact. She fell to her knees, almost genuflecting the object atop the cotton sheets on her bed.
It was a single card. Three inches across by two inches high, a half a millimeter thick. Black dominated the bottom section, a sleek, glossy black from the darkest depths of man's soul. Asuka felt herself begin to die inside as the streetlights outside flickered on and streamed through her window, illuminating her gift'.
The black was cut halfway lengthwise, a deep garnet taking its place. She grasped the card in both hands, fully intending to bend or break the offending object into piecesbut stopped as she realized that it was what she had wanted for so long. Absolutionit was within her grasp. Emblazoned in the blood-red of the card lay a single insignia, that of an oak leaf and her photograph superimposed over the logo. Tears flowed down her face as she tried to muster the strength to snap the card in half but such strength lies in the powers of Gods and not men. Weeping, Asuka knew that she had finally reached the end of her long journey. Selling herself, her purity, her body, her mind, her soul, all for naught as the game was overand she lost. Yet, even in the face of the horrible filthy things she had done, was there not some hope for redemption? This was what she held in her hands, she realized, it wasn't a venomous snake nor a curse..
It was a blessing and a chance for a new beginning and a silver-lined future.
The door to her apartment opened with the squeak of rusty hinges and the tap of leather-soled shoes. Asuka listened as the men walked through her apartmenttraipsing through her miseryand finally stopped behind her bedroom door. She clutched the ID card to her bosom and looked up as the men opened the door and let the bright halogen lights behind them cast their black suits in shadow.
"Miss Sohryuwe've come to take you back"
---To be continued---
The darkness suits Evangelion much more than the candy-coated version I originally had, doesn't it? During my long hiatus I realized what really drove Eva and that was introspection. Without such flawed characters as Shinji, Misato, Asuka, Gendo, Ritsuko, what would Eva be except a Giant Robot' anime? I find it a particularly nice bit of irony that Rei seems to be the only perfect' character just by virtue of her origin. I thought that since I was going to rewrite the story anyway, why not make it more true to the anime? I have to apologize to my Eva prereaders and hosting webmasters because I haven't contacted you for a year (more or less). If any one of these kind people choose to host my fics again, I am blessed.
Dr. Suekeiichi Kaiton