Note: This is inspired by a prompt that wanted me to pick between "hot" and cold" and then "wet" and "dry" and write about the pair of words. Well, I'm gonna use all 4 possibilities in one piece of writing. It'll make more sense in a minute.
FYI: I don't own Star Trek or anything associated, so don't sue, kthnx.
Hot & Cold, Wet & Dry
1. Hot & Wet
New Vulcan was a desert; there was no other way to describe it. It was a planet consisting of only large dunes of red sand that created dust storms when the wind eroded the tops of the hills.
Jim felt horribly overdressed in his Starfleet issue pants and long-sleeved shirt, nearly sweating where he was standing in front of Spock Prime's house with is First Officer. Spock Prime opened the door and let the two inside, greeting them with the traditional Vulcan salute.
"Jim, old friend," he was saying, sitting in a chair across from them on the couch. "It is good to see you again."
"You too," Jim replied, shifting twenty times in his seat to get more comfortable, but to no avail.
"Is something bothering you, Captain?" Spock asked, leaning closer; his higher body temperature only added to Kirk's discomfort, and Jim scooted farther away from him on the couch until his back hit the arm rest. "Captain…?"
"Sorry, Spock, it's just, well, it's hot." He wiped sweat from his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt; it was dripping into his eyes and causing him slight pain.
The First Officer looked slightly contemplative. "Humans do have a much lower temperature tolerance than Vulcans. I apologize for causing you any discomfort, Captain. Please be aware it was not my intent to make you feel as such."
"Yeah, I know, Spock; no need to apologize." He worried the hem of his shirt, wishing he could just whip it off and throw it to the floor, but he knew that would be in bad taste in a Vulcan's home. "Would it be inappropriate for me to get a little indecent?" he asked, looking between the two Vulcans.
"It would not cause me any discomfort," Spock Prime replied evenly.
"Nor would I be offended at your lack of attire," his First Officer said smoothly.
"Oh, thank Jesus." He grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up and over his head with gusto, letting it fall to the floor. "Oh, that's so much better," he sighed, leaning against the back of the couch.
After forty-five minutes, Spock and his counterpart were discussing potential upgrades to the Enterprise while Kirk sat on the couch in nothing but his underwear, having shed the rest of his clothes in intervals since he had lost his shirt. He was squirming and trying to get more comfortable still, but the heat was just too much. He jumped off the couch and started digging through his pile of clothes for his communicator.
"I'm sorry, guys," he said to the two Vulcans now staring at him confusedly. "It's just too damn hot down here for me; I'm gonna beam back up to the ship."
"I will accompany you, Captain," Spock said, standing up gracefully, his counterpart following form. "This visit has been most rewarding, but I find myself in need of meditation."
"Very well," Spock Prime said, following Spock to the door; Jim was still scrabbling to pick his clothes up, not bothering with getting dressed. "This has been a most productive meeting. I wish to see you both in the future." He held up the Vulcan salute once more. "Live long and prosper." He shut the door behind him.
Spock pulled out his communicator and hailed the ship, indicating that he and Jim were ready to beam up. Scotty didn't say a word at Jim's state of undress as the Captain followed Spock to the officer's deck.
"Jim," Spock said, stopping outside the Captain's quarters as Jim entered the code to open his door.
"Yeah, Spock?" he asked, shifting under the rapt gaze directed his way.
"May I come in for a moment?"
"Uh, sure…" He let Spock into his room first, and then followed, dropping his clothes down the laundry chute. "Did you need to talk about something?"
His First Officer was silent for a long time. "Jim," he finally stated, "what is the nature of our relationship?"
"Wh-what?! I thought we were just friends…"
"We are most certainly friends, Jim; you are the closest friend I have ever had." He paused, then, moving closer to Jim. "However, I found that it was hard to look away from you today while we were visiting my counterpart's home. You are very aesthetically pleasing."
Jim snorted, disbelieving everything he was hearing. "Spock, I'm hot and wet with sweat. How can that be 'aesthetically pleasing' to anyone? And what do you exp-" He was effectively cut off by Spock's tongue invading his mouth, his hot lips pressed against his own cooler Human ones.
Spock pulled away, leaving his hand resting at the nape of Jim's neck. "I apologize, Jim; you were saying something?"
"You sneaky bastard…" Jim said, grinning, and he pulled Spock into another kiss.
2. Cold & Wet
Jim had decided to take Spock to Iowa for shore leave in January while it was still snowing; living on Vulcan as a kid and in San Francisco as a young adult, his First Officer had never seen snow, and Jim felt he needed to rectify that.
"C'mon, Spock, you'll love it! I promise!" Jim pulled on Spock's gloved hands to try and get him out onto the porch, but the Vulcan wouldn't budge. Damn stubborn bastard…
"Jim, I assure you I will not 'love it' as you claim. Snow is frozen precipitation; therefore, it is cold and wet, a combination Vulcans do not find comfort in." Spock was adamant about staying inside, not allowing Jim to move his body any closer to the white stuff covering the ground.
"Man, Vulcans don't find 'comfort' in many things, do they?" he retorted, making quotation marks with his fingers.
He lifted a brow, but did not comment on the Human action. "On the contrary, there are many things Vulcans find comfort in."
"Oh yeah? Care to give an example?" Jim crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for an answer.
"Of course, Jim: sexual intercourse."
Jim flushed at this confession. "Well, I guess that's true…" he trailed off as Spock pulled him back inside and pressed him up against the now closed door, pressing his body into his intimately.
"I believe your mission was to get me to see snow." He licked the shell of Jim's ear, an action he knew always undid Kirk's control – what little he had of it in the first place. "I have seen it, and now I wish to engage in sexual intercourse with you."
Jim allowed himself to be led to the bedroom, mumbling, "Sure, Spock, whatever you want…" on the way.
3. Hot & Dry
Jim had always wanted to visit the laundry room on the Enterprise, so on a day off, he wandered down there to grace them with his presence. "So," he said, holding up one of his own dirty (ripped) command shirts. "How do you wash clothes?"
The crew looked at him in amused disbelief. "You mean you've never done laundry before?" one of the girls asked.
He shook his head, embarrassed. "I've never had to do laundry before. I just wanted to learn, I guess."
"Okay, well, we're just starting the white clothes." The girl picked up a basket of only white clothes, many of them with grease stains on them. "You just throw them into the washer, being careful you don't have too many in there, turn the water temperature to 'Hot', and pour in the detergent. Then you have to add a cup of bleach to the dispenser off to the left; you never want to put it directly onto the clothes." She showed him how as she described the process. "Now when the clothes come out of the washer, like this batch over here, you just toss them into the dryer. We usually dry them on 'Medium Heat'; it takes slightly longer than 'High Heat', but it also doesn't wrinkle the clothes as much."
"Uh-huh…" Jim said, looking genuinely interested; inside he was regretting ever coming down here. "Well, thanks for the lesson, but I should head back up to the bridge."
"Captain, I thought this was your day off," another girl piped up.
"I, uh, just got a call from Commander Spock. It's really urgent; I shouldn't hold him up." He was backing up towards the door slowly, hoping to make a hasty exit and to not get stopped. "So, uh, I'll see you guys later?"
"Sure, Captain. Have a nice day." The first girl flashed a bright smile at him as he left, turning back to her washer to continue her duties.
A week later as he stuffed his clothes down the laundry chute, the only words he could remember about the laundry process was "hot" and "dry". "Well, at least I'll be prepared if I ever need to wash white clothes," he said to himself, shrugging.
4. Cold & Dry
Jim rarely got sick, so catching the flu was a pretty big inconvenience to him. He had the chills constantly and couldn't get out of bed for long periods of time, so Dr. McCoy had put him on an indefinite medical leave until he got better.
But he definitely wasn't going to let his hygiene deteriorate just because he had a somewhat-worse-than-a-cold illness, so he got up, giving himself a few minutes to right his dizzied state of mind, and stepped into the bathroom, starting up the sonic shower. He got in and out quickly, being careful to wash off the germs and dead skin cells from his body, and then wrapped himself in a big, fluffy bathrobe.
He toed on his slippers and sat on his bed, clutching the robe around his body for the warmth. He was still cold, but at least he was dry.
A few minutes later, Spock walked in and saw Jim still sitting on the edge of the bed, looking unwell. "Jim!" he said firmly, walking over to the Captain and pushing him slowly onto the bed. "You are ill; you must rest. Do not cause yourself any more discomfort."
"Spock…" Jim coughed out, his voice raspy. He sneezed, his whole body bouncing off of the bed slightly; Spock pushed a tissue into his hand, and he muttered, "Thanks." He blew his nose and threw it into the wastebasket that was overflowing with used tissues. "Spock, m'cold."
Spock drew back the covers of the bed, and sank into the soft sheets, curling his arms and legs around Jim's form; he placed a kiss to Jim's forehead, rubbing his hands along the Captain's arms lightly. "Go to sleep, Jim. You need rest."
"Mm-hmm… Love you, too, Spock…" Jim muttered in his delirious state.
Spock allowed himself a small upturn of his lips as he pulled Jim closer.
Secondary Note: Well, there ya go. Hope you guys liked it! I know I liked writing it! :D
Listening to: Down – Jay Sean