A/N: So...I figured it wouldn't be a proper 4/20 without some Stonerward, no? Here's some super-special EPOV of chapter 1 of The Hood.

A huge thanks to two of my fav h00rs, Lexiecullen17 & Hunterhunting for working their magic on this at the last minute. If I had my way I'd zap them over here so we could indulge in our own special session with Stonerward. sigh.

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, I just enjoy getting them high.

oh, I feel like I should have some sort of DARE like disclaimer about drug use, but I'd also like to believe that all my readers are intelligent, well-read individuals who know enough to make those sorts of decisions for themselves.

And in case my own opinion isn't clear from what I write...take a listen to this song: http://www(dot)archive(dot)org/details/kw2003-11-15(dot)flac16 (#12 on the player to the right of the page. I heart Keller Williams!)


"Eliza fucking Dushku," Marcus chokes out through a haze of smoke. "Not only is she number six, but she was in Buffy for fuck's sake. She is smokin' hot!"

We all nod our heads in complete agreement as he holds up the magazine. The pipe gets passed to Jasper, along with the magazine. He takes a big-ass inhale while looking thoughtfully at the layout in front of him. Turning his head, so he blows the smoke out towards the slightly open window, he finally speaks.

"I think I gotta go with number fifteen...Miss Katy Perry. Not only is her body banging, but she wears the funniest shit, so you know she'd be cool too. And, I dunno, her music's kinda catchy," he mutters under his breath, and I swear I hear him humming that damn I Kissed a Girl Song.

I throw the closest thing I've got on hand, which happens to be a pillow, straight at Jasper's head. It startles him, and he drops the magazine and almost drops the fucking pipe.

"Whoa, dude. Do not mess with the pot. Rule number one," Jasper admonishes with wide eyes as he passes the pipe off to Aro.

I nod solemnly because he's totally right, but, still... Katy Perry? Really?

Aro takes a bit longer to look over the list in front of him. He hits the pipe once before sending it my way, but keeps the magazine in his lap, looking through it some more.

"Dude, hurry it up," Marcus calls out to Aro playfully. "Don't bogart the goods. Cullen needs a chance to look it over, too."

I roll my eyes, reassuring Aro that he can take all the time in the world. While he continues to peruse the pages in front of him, I flick the lighter and gaze at the bright orange flame for a second before taking in a deep inhale of what I think is some Silver Haze. It's pretty fucking unbelievable. My eyes close slightly all on their own as as I hold the smoke in my lungs for as long as possible. Finally I exhale, unable to keep it in any longer. Aro passes me the magazine and I start to flip through it. I have to say that despite the kick ass weed he usually has with him, Marcus' other amazing contribution to our little crew is his monthly subscription to Maxim magazine.

"Okay, this is a tough one," Aro says as I scan Maxim's "Hot 100" list. "I mean, hell, they have Michelle Obama on the list this year."

I look up at him to see if he's kidding, but he looks completely serious. I sneak a peek at Jasper, who's holding in a laugh, while Marcus just rolls his eyes.

"After weighing all the options and figuring out who has all the best assets, I've chosen...Emma Watson!"

I cock an eyebrow at Aro, not sure who he means.

"What number?" I ask.

"Eighty-two," he answers, and I flip to her page.

What the...

"Hermione Granger, dude?" I ask, and Aro just shrugs nodding his head.

Jasper walks to the couch where I'm sitting and peers over my shoulder.

"Yeah, she's hot," he agrees. "Okay, your turn, Cullen. Who's your number one hottie?"

I look through the list, and I have to admit that there are a ton of sexy looking ladies on it. But it all just seems so...fake. As I scan their pictures, I take in the overly inflated tits that look like they'd be rock hard to the touch and the shit ton of make up they slap on their faces. Totally over-processed. I just want a girl who's comfortable in her own skin, who knows how to have a good time and can just hang...without all the extra crap.

"Cullen, what the fuck?" Jasper asks, slapping me back into the present. "Where'd you go? It's not like we're asking you to marry one of them. Just pick who you think is the hottest."

"Uh..." I stutter, looking through the list. "Let's go with number fifty-four, Rachel Bilson."

She's cute, petite, has gorgeous brown eyes and seems like the most real chick out of all of them. Plus, her cheeks looks all cute and dimply when she smiles.

"Huh," Jasper says, grabbing the magazine out of my hands as he looks over her picture.

"What?" I ask, shoving him.

"Well, first off all, dude. I did not expect you to be a fan of The O.C.," he teases because he knows I don't watch that shit. "But second of all, she looks just like Swan."

"Swan?" I ask, wondering who he's talking about.

"Yeah, Bella Swan. She's new this year, but pretty cool. She's in my photography class. She's got long brown hair and brown eyes like your girl-next-door over there," he explains, pointing to the magazine.

Oh yeah, Bella. I didn't really know her last name, I guess. She's in my science class, but I've never really paid much attention to her because she sits behind me, and to be honest, without sounding like a total geek, I kinda dig Bio. I may be a total stoner, but I'm a total stoner who kicks major ass in Bio, and I usually pay attention in class. I had a feeling I'd be paying attention to something else next time, though.

"Oh, yeah. I think we have a class together," I share after what seems like too much silence.

Jasper looks at me suspiciously, but when I ask him what's up, he shrugs it off. I'll have to keep my eye on that fucker. For the moment, I take another hit off the pipe that's being passed around and relax on Aro's couch while a game of Uno starts up in the corner. I find myself slowly falling asleep, the smokey haze making it easy to nap on a Thursday afternoon. The last thing I think about before drifting off is a set of sparkling brown eyes.

The next day at school, I find myself getting distracted trying to picture Bella Swan. I mean, I can picture her, I guess, but I feel like I'm missing something. When I head into Banner's class that afternoon, she's already sitting in her seat behind me. I take a moment to check her out before she realizes she's being stared at. She's definitely cute, and I'm happy to see she's not sporting a thigh high mini skirt with boots and a crap load of make up like half the girl population here. I hear a cough behind me and realize Mr. Banner is waiting for me to sit down. Rushing to my seat, I slide in and do my best to focus.

Just before the bell rings, Banner decides to pick on Bella and reprimands her for one thing or another. I turn to look at her as I grab my backpack and can't help but smile at the pink flush that's invading her skin. It's sort of hot. She seems flustered by my gaze, and I wonder if she's just uncomfortable with me staring at her or because if she's interested. I don't wait around to find out, though, since I have a class to get to. As much as the prospect of a girl excites me, I don't get my hopes up just yet. Too many times I've been interested in some chick, only to find out that while her outside packaging might be impressive, she lacks a bit between the ears. Is it that much to ask for a hot girl, who also can maintain a stimulating conversation that does not involve either the mall or some dwarf musician named Justin Bieber?

My mind drifts to Bella throughout the day, and it's clear by the looks and questions I get from the guys once we're at the Hood that they can tell something's up. I'm not sure why or how this chick has gotten under my skin so quickly, and I'm not sure I like it. It's my senior year. Do I really want to invest my time with some girl who will most likely just end up being a disappointment? I remember agreeing to go out with Tanya a while back. I figured that girl had real promise. She may have dressed a little slutty, but she liked playing guitar and was in college, so I assumed she'd be chill. I was so, so wrong and had to sit through an annoying hour of boring conversation at dinner before I could skip out on her. Thankfully, I haven't really seen much of her since then. I can only imagine the drama that might occur if I tried to hook up with Bella and things went sour. I'd have to deal with sitting in front of her for the rest of the year.

All of these thoughts rise back to the surface Saturday afternoon when I'm surprised to see her walk into the Hood with Jasper. I don't think she sees me at first. I'm sitting in the back corner on the ratty old recliner. It's actually one of the more comfy spots in the place, and once you get it, you don't let it go easily. I've been flipping through my iPod while Aro and Marcus argue Kevin Smith films. Not that I don't enjoy a good debate over some movies, it's just, that argument has been beaten to death, over and over.

After hearing the same tired arguments from the two of them, I'm surprised again. This time Bella adds in her two cents. I brace myself for some idiotic comment, or worse, some regurgitated snippet she read in a magazine. But the girl actually knows her shit. I make a show of commending her on what she's said, and it seems as if I've startled her. Her cheeks flush up again like the other day, and it's still sort of hot. I sit down next to her, hoping to get some more out of her to see if this isn't a fluke. Instead, Jasper parks his ass down next to her, and somehow they end up in a tickle fight.

What. The. Fuck.

Something inside me turns on, and a surge of jealously rips through me. A feeling of possessiveness erupts, and I want to shout out that she's blushing for me, not you, you fuck. Though, despite my raging internal monologue, I say nothing, just sit there and glare at the two of them. I have no idea what's going on, but Jasper hasn't given any indication that he likes her, I'm pretty sure. Jasper catches me staring and gives me a look to knock it off. I raise my eyebrow at him in challenge, egging him on. What the fuck is he going to do about it? He stares straight at me, announcing to nobody in particular that he's heading out to grab a smoke. I'm out the door before he even gets off the couch, knowing we're about to get into it.

"What the fuck, dude?" Jasper starts, grabbing a cig from his pack.

I slouch to the ground, preferring to sit while I roll a cig. I grab my pouch of tobacco and quickly roll one up before lighting it. I take a drag, and only then do I stand up to answer him.

"What the fuck is up with you?" I spit out. "Why are you bringing your girlfriend around here?"

"My...my girlfriend?" Jasper looks at me incredulously and bursts out laughing.

"That's funny, Cullen. Fucking funny."

I don't actually think it's funny, so I punch him in the shoulder, just hard enough to get his attention.

"Motherfucker. Seriously, what's your problem, man? Bella's not my girlfriend. She's awesome, though, don't get me wrong. But she's...she's like a sister to me. I don't see her like that."

"Oh," I say, finishing off my cigarette.

I apparently just acted like an asshole over nothing. Why the fuck did I act like an asshole? This girl is already worming her way under my skin and I hardly know her. This can't be good.

"But..." Jasper says, breaking the silence. "She is single. You know, in case you were wondering."

I look up at him, and he's smirking. I wonder how fucking transparent I actually am.

"Shut the fuck up dude," I warn.

"No, man, I'm serious. She's single, and she's totally cool. I say you should go for it. Dust off all the cobwebs and show that girl the Cullen charm."

"Yeah?" I ask, kind of seriously.

"Yeah," Jasper says, nodding his head.

Before we both grow a pair of vaginas, I grab him into a headlock and try to lighten the mood. Soon, we're both laughing and horsing around, and I'm glad we had this talk. When we walk balk inside, Aro starts packing a bowl, and I couldn't be happier. I can definitely stand to relax a bit. I'm curious to see what Bella's deal is with smoking. I noticed she had cigs in her pocket, but a lot of girls smoke because they think it makes them look cool, but when it comes to pot they think its just for burn outs. A lot of people are surprised when they find out all four of us are in AP classes and maintain some pretty fucking awesome GPAs. We just also happen to enjoy getting high.

Bella seems like a newbie, despite the fact that she tries to play it off, and I have a feeling she's also a lightweight. Thanks to Marcus' hook up, we're enjoying some pretty dank Diesel, and I wonder how she'll take it. I shake my head as I watch her take way too big a hit for her first pull and just know she's gonna have a coughing fit. Of course, I'm right, and I thrust my soda at her, hoping it will help. I shake off Jasper's raised eyebrow and give him the finger on the fly. I get my soda back and then hunt down some Doritos because I'm fucking starving. Every so often, I glance over at Bella, taking in her lazy smile and squinty eyes. She looks really pretty.

Thankfully, I get to stare at Bella some more because she starts showing up every so often. She's not here daily like the rest of us, but she comes a couple times a week and most weekends. I'm glad she does because, unlike at school where I do my best to focus on my shit, at the Hood I'm able to just relax and enjoy her. And enjoy her I do. She continues to surprise each time she's there, going toe to toe with Marcus about one movie or another, or talking about some literary crap with Aro. Even just watching her not take any of Jasper's shit makes me dig her more. Somehow, after a few weeks, it doesn't shock me that when we swap iPods for an afternoon, I discover that we have many of the same songs stashed on them.

Not only does she have a surprisingly good taste in music and movies but snacks as well. It doesn't escape my notice when she sneaks some Nutella in with her. Okay, maybe it isn't my Hardy Boys-like skills that figured it out, but my fucking cock that does. We're all just sitting around, doing our own thing, when out of nowhere I hear the most pornographic moan ever. I stare at the source of the moan, Bella, trying to figure out what the hell caused it. There's the smallest bit of chocolate on her lip, and I know she's hiding something good. I move over to the couch and lean in closer, getting a better look at her lips.

Her teeth have come out to nibble on the bottom lip, but the chocolate is still there, and I can smell nuts and something else I just can't place. When I lean even further to whisper in her ear, my nose grazes her cheek, and holy fuck is her skin smooth. I have to stifle my own groan, and it's not caused by any sort of chocolate. I shift around so my cock isn't poking out at her and try my best to stay cool. She's shivering like a fucking bunny, but her neck and face is all flushed. She's taken pretty to a whole new level.

Later that night, I decide I need to figure my shit out. I can't be losing my cool like that around Bella at school. Popping chubbies in the middle of Bio is just not cool, and I don't need to lose focus, not when I'm so close to graduating. While we're in school, I do my best to just keep my eyes on the prize and concentrate on my school work. I don't ignore Bella, but I don't go out of my way to get closer to her there. It's enough that I'm now aware of her scent as it toys with me in class. Each time she walks by me or flips her hair around, I'm assaulted with some sweet, fruity smell, and BAM! instant boner. Totally not cool. I toy with the idea of dating her, but I wonder if we've passed into the dreaded friend zone. There are times when I think she's all about me and others when she treats me just like one of the guys. I end up deciding that my best bet is to just chill and keep it at a friendly level. Less drama that way.

And then...any and all attempts I have to stay away from Bella Swan fail the moment she walks into the Hood one day. It's no different than any other day, except for the fact that we're alone. Oh, and she looks fucking hot. Her hair is flowing over her shoulders out of its usual ponytail. The AC/DC t-shirt she's wearing seems a size too small, and the letters hug her tits way too closely. I do my best not to stare, but it's hard not to, especially when it seems like they're pointing straight at me. I close my eyes and continue strumming the guitar I'm playing, hoping it will distract me.

Bella walks in and sits down on the other end of the couch, watching me play. Her eyes are lit up, and she looks so damn gorgeous just sitting there. Then she goes and licks her lips. Her tongue drags slowly across the top one, leaving a trail of wetness in its wake before sweeping across the bottom one, leaving it plump and glistening. I gulp, unable to stop staring, and I'm pretty sure my fingers stop playing the guitar, because my mind can't concentrate on much else right now.

"Smoke?" I ask, because I sure as hell need a new distraction.

Thankfully, she agrees, so I start to pack a bowl. It feels like there is some crazy energy flowing between us, and I'm pretty sure I'm not high just yet, so it's kind of freaking me out. I look at her and can't help but smirk. She looks so innocent and clearly has no idea what she's doing to me. Before my brain is able to catch up with my mouth, I'm talking.

"Come closer."

And miraculously, she does. We're sitting so close that I can feel the heat from her leg against mine, and I'm amazed I haven't attacked her yet. Instead, I focus on packing the bowl and quickly bring it up to my lips to take a hit. As I do, I look over at Bella, and something in me just takes over. There's this one thing that I've always wanted to do with a girl, but never have. I'm doing it now. I lay the pipe down so I can use both hands and shake my head no when she goes to pick it up. I pray like hell that she won't deny me this and just go for it.

I curl my fingers around her face and pull her towards me, pressing my lips against hers lightly. I gently blow the smoke in, not wanting her to choke on my surprise shot gun. I take a beat longer to enjoy the feel of her soft lips against mine before pulling back, reminding her to breathe. I stay close, not wanting to move from her just yet, and I watch as her eyes light up in recognition of what we just did. I'm not going to lie, it was absolutely fuckhot, so when she says that its 'different,' I cock my eyebrow, hoping she means different-good, not different-bad.

Thankfully, she clarifies herself, and she seems to have enjoyed it as much as I did. I'm glad because I need to do that shit again, like right now. I pull the pipe back up and let her know what's coming before I go to light it again. Before I'm able to, Bella's pulled it from my hands and is hitting it herself. I'm not one-hundred percent sure what she's doing, so I sit back and watch. Right after she takes the hit, I feel her hands twist up my shirt, and she pulls me towards her. She hardly has to pull. I lean in willingly as she presses her lips against mine, allowing the smoke to billow through into my mouth.

This time, I let my lips linger even longer, holding the smoke in my mouth as I brush against her lips slowly, back and forth. I want more, so I exhale the smoke through my nose before kissing Bella once more. I stay there, my lips itching to keep kissing her, but I want to give her a second to take it all in. Bella tastes amazing, like weed and girl and fuck...just perfect. I rub my nose against hers, needing to touch more of her and relish the feel of her smooth skin against mine. She shivers but swears she's not cold, so I can only hope she's feeling this crazy shit between us, too. She starts to say something, and I fucking hope it's something good, but before she can get anything out, my fucking friends with the worst fucking timing in the world burst in. She jumps back like a scared rabbit, and the moment's over.

The rest of the afternoon is spent hanging out and just goofing off, talking about nothing of importance. But by the end of the day, there's one thing I know for certain. There's no going back now.

I'm gonna make Bella Swan my girl.


A/N: I did a little "research" for this fic and actually perused the Maxim Hot 100 list. If you'd like to check it out (for purely research purposes of course)check it out here: http://www(DOT)maxim(DOT)com/girls/articles/79154/2009-hot-100(DOT)html

Regular The Hood update sometime this weekend!