It was meant to be a long oneshot. But I think I'll make this into something like a twoshot. Or three.
Enjoy this first chapter.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Our New Life Begins
A warm summer breeze went through the open window of the Uchiha mansion's living room and brushed the skin of the clan survivor soothingly. A shallow sigh escaped the lips of the young man as the wind caressed his face and ran through his soft locks, and for a moment, he was almost tempted to open his eyes.
But he resisted, because he knew what he would see and he knew he would not like it.
He'd been there several times before. It was not pleasant. He hated it.
Sasuke breathed out a long and tired sigh while he emptied his mind once again and tried to meditate.
It was not an easy task on days like these, although. When he wondered if his life could ever go back to how it was before. A world of light and beautiful sceneries, with people that cared for him without fearing for their life.
He would never openly admit it, but god, he missed those days so much.
Because now, his world was nothing but darkness and haunting memories. Now, he could not see the light. He could not see beauty. He could not even properly remember how it really was.
Now, even Sakura did not trust him.
"Sasuke-kun?" a voice called softly from another room.
He stayed silent, even as he heard a soft clank that he guessed was the door being shut.
"Sasuke-kun, are you home?" the voice called again, sounding much closer.
The raven haired man did not speak up, but he let his chakra spike a bit so that his pink haired team mate would sense him.
And she did. Evidently.
Seconds after he'd done so, Sasuke found himself in the presence of the talented apprentice of the fifth Hokage. He did not have to open his eyes to tell that she was leaning on his doorframe, looking at him with pondering eyes.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were meditating," Sakura apologized softly.
"It's fine," he muttered.
A silence took place over the room, and even as he wasn't looking at her, he could tell that she was gazing at him with her sad emerald orbs. But it wasn't until he uncrossed his legs, opened his eyes and slowly stood from the floor that she spoke up.
"How are your eyes? Do they still hurt?"
Sasuke could not help but to bring up a hand to brush just under his left socket. He didn't actually know what they looked like anymore, like he hardly remembered what anything looked like. But he remembered the way Sakura described them a few months ago, in that heavy-hearted tone of hers.
"I'd like to tell you that they still look the same Sasuke-kun… that they're still so coal, and beautiful. But they aren't… They are… gray, dull and…lifeless. Just the way a blind man's eyes should look like…"
A deep sigh left his mouth again.
As he heard her step in his direction, he turned to look at her, hoping that by some miracle, he would see something else than darkness.
But sadly, he did not.
And something inside of him boiled in fury at the thought of never being able to see that pink mane of hers, and those lovely emerald pools. Of never being able to see how she grew. How she was a woman now.
A hand softly touched his own, the one on his face, and he could not help but to slip his eyes back shut when she gripped it gently. With her other hand, she cupped the other side of his face and stroked slowly.
He didn't fail to feel how much she trembled as she touched him.
She's still scared… he thought to himself.
"Would you like to try to learn again today, Sasuke-kun? To see the beauty of the world by touch?" she whispered quietly.
"The world holds no beauty for a blind man, Sakura. Darkness cannot be enticing in any way," he muttered coldly. "If anything, this world holds nothing but cruelty."
Her shaking hands slipped from his face, and he heard her sigh sadly. "There's always beauty somewhere. You just have to learn to see it without the use of your eyes," she told him quietly.
Even as he was blind, he had to look away so she would not see the feelings that he fought so hard to hide. Ever so hesitantly, he felt for the couch's armrest, searching blindly with his hand, and as he found it, he sat himself down wordlessly. He heard Sakura step towards him again, and he thought that she would take his hands, but instead, she just stood in front of him.
"Sasuke-kun," she started softly, "you should really try, this time. It may not be easy, and it may hurt sometimes… but it will be worth it. I promise."
The lonely Uchiha took a moment to ponder, before he raised his head a little, to where he thought her face would be. "I will try," he said quietly, "under one condition."
He could feel her happiness rising quickly, but with that feeling also came another that seemed doubtful, or scared, even. It was something that made him frown.
"Anything, Sasuke-kun," she replied tenderly, touching his knee.
His head lowered again, and he reached to touch the hand on his knee, but he felt how she trembled in fear again. He very nearly scowled at that.
"Trust me, Sakura."
He could see it in his mind: her mouth opened in shock and her green eyes wide. To his delight, the image wasn't in the least fuzzy. He still clearly remembered how she looked since he'd last seen her.
"Sasuke-kun, I—I'm trying, you know… I just—"
"You haven't been trying hard enough," he cut her off, his tone icy. But at the feeling of sorrow filling the air, he softened it up a bit. "It may not be easy to do so, and it may hurt you because I have already betrayed your trust twice… but it will be worth it. You have my word," he said, throwing back her earlier words.
Silence filled the room.
"O—Okay. I'll… I'll try."
Sasuke relaxed his muscles into the couch and closed his eyes, something like a half smile curling at his lips. "Good."
& I wish I could understand
what my heart is trying to tell me.
"Here, give me your hand," Sakura said, reaching out to grab Sasuke's left one.
He let her take his hand without complaint, but she did not fail to notice how he jerked back a bit at the feeling of something unfamiliar being put in it. But soon, she saw him relax his stiff form, and she knew he'd only been taken aback.
"This feels… unfamiliar," he murmured, running his thumb back and forth against the object.
"Of course, Sasuke-kun. A lot of things are unfamiliar because you often recognize them by sight. But you know this. You've held it before."
He frowned, and she smiled when he slipped the fragile object between his thumb and forefinger, and tested the feel of it. "It's smooth, and… thin," he said. "I don't remember ever holding something so delicate."
"Maybe you'll remember the smell of it," she said softly.
Sasuke paused, for a moment, before he hesitantly brought up the unknown item to his nose and took a breath. She watched as he paused again, before taking a whiff again.
And then she saw his gray, dead eyes soften.
"…cherry blossom petal…?"
Sakura smiled. "Very good, Sasuke-kun. Now you know that it not only looks pretty, but it feels and smells pretty too!" she chirped happily, giggling a little afterward.
He stayed silent, and put the petal back on the table while lowering his head down. Bangs fell in his face, and for one single second, Sakura wanted to tilt his chin up and brush those locks away. But she held herself still and watched silently as he clenched his fists.
"…why are you doing this…?" she heard him question very mutely.
Sakura lowered her eyes to the floor as well. "You know I've been assigned to take care of you, Sasuke-kun. I have to teach you how to live as a blind man," she replied, biting her lip.
Sasuke stayed silent, once again. He kept his dead eyes lowered to the ground, and looked as though he was thinking deeply about something that made him conflicted. He appeared tense, and as though he was lost.
For the first time in a long time, Sakura felt sympathy for him.
Sakura paused and thought for a moment, before a light smile grazed her lips. She reached down with one hand to pick a kunai out of her holster, and with the other she took Sasuke's hand.
"Now, this one is easy to guess what it is. But can you see beauty in it, Sasuke-kun?" she whispered to him, putting the sharp weapon in his hand.
But as soon as Sasuke felt the cold metal against his flesh and the sharpness of the edge, he let the weapon drop on the ground and snarled, "there is no beauty in a kunai!"
When Sakura fetched the weapon and stepped to him to give it again, Sasuke coiled back, his face now twisted in disgust and anger. She sighed to herself and ran a finger along the edge, not even wincing as it slightly cut her skin. Blood slid from the wound to the tip of her finger, and she stared at it for a moment, before she grazed the flesh with her other hand, which was glowing green.
The wound was then healed.
"It smells like blood," Sasuke stated stiffly, still refusing to get any closer to her now that she still had the weapon.
"I'm surprised you can smell it. It was just a little cut," she stated, her tone almost bland.
Sasuke scowled. "How could something that hurts people be beautiful, Sakura?" he almost spat.
But his team mate trailed off, and a silence took place, in which the tension was unmistakably high. He didn't like it, to be in her presence and feel the way she was so distant from him. Physically, she was but a few feet away, but emotionally, he felt they might as well be miles apart.
"There are a lot of things that hurt people, and yet they're still beautiful. Like a rose, for example." She paused, and there was shifting on her part. "It has thorns that injure the people who are not careful. But it's a flower used to express the love one feels for another. It is beautiful by itself."
"A flower is far different from a kunai," Sasuke muttered harshly.
She smiled, a little sadly. "Yes, of course it is, Sasuke-kun," she murmured back. "But a kunai can be beautiful as well. It's true, all it is used for is to hurt people and to kill them. But tell me, Sasuke-kun, why do people use it so? What drives them to hurt and kill other people?"
He was almost tempted to spit out that it was the animalistic rage within oneself, the sick love for blood. But part of him held back, and he took a moment to think.
Then, he finally realized where she was going with this.
"…to save the lives of the ones they care for," he finally whispered.
Sakura smiled beautifully.
And although Sasuke had certainly not seen it, the radiance and warmth in her stunning smile, he had without a doubt felt it.
"Yes, Sasuke-kun. Very good. So you see? One look with the eyes and any person would say that a kunai is revolting, because all it does is take lives. But when you look past the physical, and everything that is obvious, you can see the real beauty in it. The kunai is a weapon, that much is obvious. But it is a weapon used to save and protect the ones we love and care for. It is used to protect our village. That's why it's beautiful."
A hand touched his arm, and he almost coiled back in surprise.
"You know Sasuke-kun, you and that kunai have a lot more in common than you think," she said to him. "You took lives, you look dangerous, you betrayed the trust of many, and you're violent."
Sakura didn't fail to see the anger that crept to his face.
"…but Sasuke-kun, you're beautiful after all," she went on tenderly, her eyes softening when the anger immediately washed away from his features. "You might have done a lot of bad things, and you might have hurt a lot of people, but there's no denying that kind heart that you have under there."
She touched his chest, where his heart would be.
"There's something in there that you don't let out often. Maybe because you're afraid. But it's something that no one can see with their eyes. It is something that only one can see when they look with their heart."
The pink haired medic placed her free hand on her own heart.
"I see it, Sasuke-kun. I've always been able to see it. That glow that you have in you, and that is shining with goodness. I see it so clearly. I know that you don't want to hurt me, and I know that you do try to be good. It's hard for you, it really is."
Tears started streaming down, and her voice shook terribly.
"And I really wish it was enough to make me trust you, to let you back into my life. I really do. But…" Sakura choked out, "…I just can't. You broke my heart so many times. You've hurt me so much. And you tried to kill me, for kami's sake. Probably would have done it if Kakashi or Naruto hadn't intervened…"
Sasuke might've been blind, but he didn't need eyes to see how terribly heartbroken she was.
"All I ever did was love you. I didn't deserve this," she cut him off, her tone angry but still shaky.
He was silent. Guilty.
He felt terrible.
"And yet after everything, Sasuke-kun, you're still beautiful. Inside and out."
Afterward she left without another word, sobbing.
you always want more,
no matter how badly you got burned last time.
The next time Sasuke saw Sakura, or rather, was in her presence, it was a week later. He'd had a different nurse coming to check up on him every day during that week. For a moment, he almost thought she'd given up on him.
But the next day, she showed up at his door. Smiling.
He'd known it was her long before he opened it. He had sensed her long before that.
Sasuke couldn't explain the sudden relief and delight that washed over him when she greeted him the way she always did. Cheerily. Softly.
And suddenly, he seemed to understand her without needing to hear the reasons. He knew why she came back. He knew why she kept trying.
She still loved him, after everything that happened.
With that realization settling in, the world felt lighter, somehow. He wasn't as bothered as before by the fact he was blind. He didn't mind much when he uncharacteristically tripped over a foot stool that was not supposed to be in his path.
The damn dobe probably moved it, he found himself thinking as he sat on his knees.
He also found out that Sakura's touch was quickly becoming an addiction when she was helping him up.
"You okay, Sasuke-kun?" she asked him gently.
He nodded wordlessly, and she smiled.
"Good. Now are you ready to continue the lesson?"
He nodded again.
But before she could pull away from him, he gripped her wrist and heard her gasp in shock.
There was no mistaking the way she stiffened in his hold at the sound of his words.
She stiffened even more.
"You heard me, Sakura."
"I—but you—I just…what do you…?" she sputtered, disbelieving.
And then her emerald orbs gazed deep into his dull, grayish eyes, searching for any sign of dishonesty or trickery, but she found nothing else than truthfulness and culpability.
"You… Sasuke-kun, you don't have to—"
"I never meant to do it. I never meant to hurt you. And had I actually been myself at…that time... I would have never…" his voice then trailed out into nothing but a mere whisper, "…tried to kill you."
Sakura heart was erratic as she heard him say those words, and she felt like she could hardly breathe. She could feel her lungs constricting, and her breath growing heavy, but for some reason the only thing running through her mind was: he's sorry.
He's sorry, he's sorry, he didn't meant it, he's sorry, he didn't want to, he's sorry, he's sorry, he's sorry…
"Sasuke…-k…un…" the girl whimpered out, before shutting her eyes tightly and letting the tears slip out.
And at the sound of choking, hiccupping breaths, Sasuke found that he couldn't help reaching out to touch her face. His fingers met the tender skin of her cheeks, and felt the warm liquid running down them. Not being able to stand the feel of it, he brushed his thumbs across and wiped her tears away.
"Stop it," he whispered to her. "Stop crying."
He hated that he always made her cry. Whatever he did, whatever he said, he always wound up hurting her. Kami, why the hell couldn't he make her happy for once?
And then tiny fists grabbed hold of his shirt, and Sasuke found himself surprised to feel her leaning her head against his chest. She placed her body against his before wrapping her arms around his waist tightly, and Sasuke swore he could feel something like a smile forming on her lips.
"I thought I didn't matter anymore," she sighed heavily.
Sasuke's mouth formed an annoyed thin line.
"Why are you such an idiot sometimes?" he scowled.
He then put a hand at the top of her head, burying his fingers in her hair.
And Sakura clearly heard those unspoken words that lingered in his actions.
"Of course you matter. I never stopped caring about you guys."
Maybe things won't go back to like they were before but… her thought was interrupted by Sasuke's chin bumping the top of her head.
…but maybe it's not such a bad thing after all. Maybe this time, things will be better.
Love comes naturally,
in unexpected ways,
without any permission.
I can't tell you when next chapter will be out. Cause' I don't know.
Hope you enjoyed. :)