Disclaimer: Characters owned by DC Comics.
If you are mad about the death of Lian Harper and the maiming of her father, join the Bring Back Lian Harper movement on both facebook and DeviantArt.
This was inspired by SKH's fic "Gotchoo" in which a night on the town leads to Nightwing getting a very unpleasant surprise in the morning.
The Wrath of Booty Man
"Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BOOTY MAN! Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BOOTY MAN! BOOTY MAN! BOOTY MAN!"
Lian had been singing that song nonstop ever since her dad pulled out of the driveway with her surrogate uncle Dick joining them. The song, a very, very, VERY non-helpful reminder of a drunken excursion Dick had taken, had got on his nerves the minute Lian opened her mouth. Now he wanted to kill Roy and string him up like a Christmas tree. Of course, he was enjoying ever second of his daughter's melody.
"I hate you, you know that? I really, really do." Dick growled in a very Bat-esque manner.
"Lighting UP, Short Pants! She's just singing." Roy told his former teammate.
"Yeah, about a certain little you-know-what on my you-know-where." He said. The you-know-what being a tattoo of the Batman symbol, and you-know-where being, well, she was singing "Booty Man".
"Which YOU paid for with your own money and which YOU also got of your own volition." Roy pointed out.
"Ooh, volition, pretty big word coming from you, Speedo."
Lian finished. She took a deep breath and began to
"LIAN! Honey, you've been singing that song for over an hour now. Don't you think it's time you tried singing something else?" Dick nonchalantly pleaded.
"But I like this song." The little girl said from the backseat.
"Yeah, well, princess, you know how I feel about that certain little… episode, I had." Dick explained.
"Now Lian, if Dick wants you to stop singing that song, you stop singing it." Roy gently, but firmly, told his daughter.
"Okay, daddy." Lian said.
"Thanks, Roy." Dick said with a look of surprise. It was rare he saw Roy ever act THAT serious, even with Lian.
"No prob, that song WAS getting kinda annoying anyway." Roy waved it off.
Dick sighed and took in the peaceful quiet that now pervaded the car's air, until-
"Booty Man! Booty Man!" Roy sang at the top of his lungs to the tune of a certain archanid super-hero's theme song.
"Does whatever a booty can!" Went both father and daughter at the same time.
Dick groaned and started hitting his head on the dashboard, all the while thinking:
I wonder if they have any vacancies at Arkham this time of year?