Title: Cause and Effect
Pairing: Tony DiNozzo/Jethro Gibbs
Warnings: Slash. Major slash in fact. And it IS IN THIS CHAPTER. Also, some swearing and BDSM themes. That last one plays a pretty major role (particularly here) so I'd leave now if that offends you.
Spoilers: None really. Just the show in general. And if you don't watch NCIS then why are you reading this?
Disclaimer: Not mine. Shoot. Poem is so don't steal. Also, this isn't a 'How To' for BDSM. Remember: keep it safe, sane and consensual.
Summary: A meeting somewhere unexpected changes Tony's life in ways he never could have imagined. With a sceptical McGee in tow, will he be able to deal with the far-reaching consequences of his actions?
Authors Note: Can you believe we're finally here? Well, I won't keep you. Without further ado I present to you: the final chapter of Cause and Effect –A Place to Belong... which, oddly, brings horrible thoughts about the HSC to mind, since belonging is the current topic. Oh well. Enjoy!
Cause and Effect: The concept that every action has an equal and opposite reaction.
Dedication: This chapter is for everyone currently doing their HSC. If you're reading this –why aren't you studying? ^^
All I ever wanted
Was a place I could belong
But no matter how hard I tried
I always got it wrong
And it was you, in the end
Who found me a place to call my own
With your kiss, your eyes, your smile
I knew I'd never be alone
You break me down, you build me up
You make me feel complete
And you never even realize
That that's such an amazing feat
You make me glad to be myself
I'll never feel out of place
I'll never feel I'm not good enough
To show them my true face
So I want you to know I love you
You're my candle; you're my song
And I give to you the most precious thing of all:
A place you can belong.
Chapter Five: A Place to Belong
Tony's apartment was entirely too empty.
It was a preposterous thought if only because all their sessions had taken place at McGee's place. He was startled to find himself wishing that they could have gone out for a drink. He would have drilled McGee for a blow by blow account of exactly what happened in Abby's lab, McGee would spend most the night bright red, and they'd both have had a little too much to drink. Unfortunately, McGee and Abby were spending the night together, apparently eager to have their first date and, as such, such an outing would have to wait until the weekend.
Tony found himself looking forward to it.
In the meantime, he felt like a movie and, skimming over his extensive collection, was unable to scroll past 'Serendipity'. He felt as though he could sympathise with the concept –he hadn't forgotten the vast odds that had brought McGee and him together in that club.
He was only ten minutes into it when the knock sounded at his door. For a second, Tony worried it might be McGee and that his date with Abby had gone drastically wrong. Firmly derailing that thought (and instructing himself not to jump to conclusions) Tony hurried over and answered it.
"Boss?" Tony blurted, stepping aside to let Gibbs in automatically, "What are you doing here? Do we have a case?"
It was obvious they didn't have a case. Gibbs had never come to his apartment with a case –that's what mobile phones were for. Besides, he didn't have a file with him and he didn't have that look in his eyes; the one that took him over whenever they caught something top priority. In fact, Tony couldn't identify the look in Gibbs' eyes right then. Everything about him seemed... slightly out of place. Looking him over closely, Tony tried to pinpoint what had changed.
Gibbs didn't speak. He merely held out his hand below his waist and clicked his fingers once. Tony sank to his knees so reflexively that he was startled to find himself there.
"Gibbs..." he began uncertainly.
"Have I given you permission to speak?"
Tony locked his lips together at once, eyes wide with a hundred questions. They watched Gibbs steadily as the older man paced around him, drinking Tony's stance in without comment. Even as startled as he was, subspace was beginning to cloud the edges of his vision.
"You will speak only to answer my questions," Gibbs informed him frankly.
Cautiously, Tony bowed his head, baring his neck in agreement.
"How long have you been subbing for McGee?"
Tony's first inclination was to blink slowly. Part of him wanted to demand what how on earth Gibbs had found out but the sensible proportion, the submissive part, noted that he'd be better served by answering the question.
"Just over five months," he admitted and, God, had it really been that long?
"He ever fuck you?"
"No," Tony answered at once, taken aback both by the question and by Gibbs' language. The man was a marine and had probably said his share of swears, but Tony rarely heard them.
"Good," Gibbs avowed darkly, "Saves me the trouble of killing him."
Tony's eyes shot up at that. Gibbs' expression was utterly blank and all the more frightening for it. He circled Tony in constant concentric circles, never faltering in his steps. Tony, filled with nervous anticipation, wondered where this was going.
"And how long, exactly, have you been in love with me?"
Tony's brain froze and his jaw dropped. His subspace, a rising tide inside him, cleared significantly under his fear. He was clearly silent too long for Gibbs faltered in his steps and turned his deadly gaze directly onto Tony.
"Answer me!" he demanded fiercely and, unable to help it, Tony obeyed.
"I don't really know," Tony returned honestly, "I only realized I'd given you my heart when you broke it."
That confession halted Gibbs' stride completely. He turned to face Tony head on and, for the first time, Tony could interpret a facet of his expression. In some small measure he was taken aback by that.
Technically that wasn't a question and for a brief moment Tony toyed with remaining silent. But Gibbs wasn't the sort of man to take that kind of insubordination lying down and so Tony obeyed –he always did in the end.
"I felt the first inkling when you lost your memory. When you left me to go to Mexico, I think I knew it then but I didn't admit it, even to myself. Your absence made it impossible to deny but, when you came back and dumped my stuff on my desk with not even a by-you-leave, it tore me apart. And I knew that I loved you... how long have you known?"
Gibbs shot him a rather humourless smile.
"I didn't. You just told me."
Tony reeled back as though visibly struck. His submission collapsed entirely, lost in his self-hatred. Pretending you knew something as fact was the oldest interrogation technique in the book and Tony had fallen for it. What had happened to his reflexive 'deny, deny, deny' strategy? Avoid and evade, that was his motto. And, when worst came to worst, he could always run –he'd done it before.
He wanted to get to his feet, show Gibbs visibly that he wouldn't take this abrasive treatment, but Gibbs held all the cards and Tony didn't entirely trust the soundness of his legs.
"What do you want from me?"
Gibbs had never resumed his agitated pacing and, at Tony's question, he stepped forward, putting a single finger under his chin and tilting his head up until green clashed with blue.
In case his meaning was unclear, he followed this up with a kiss. Only it wasn't so much a kiss as a wilful taking of Tony's mouth. It demanded everything Tony had, everything he was, even everything he could be. It bolstered him up, broke him down and consumed him from the inside out.
"Say no now," Gibbs cautioned, pulled away but keeping hold of Tony's face, "You won't get a chance to say it again."
"You haven't given me anything," Tony protested, frustrated.
"I'll expect your obedience," Gibbs began, his hold bordering on painful, "Your submission. Most of all your fidelity. Unless you wish to see me truly furious. I'm not a small time Dom, Tony. I'm not McGee. I'm possessive, I'm demanding, I'll expect nothing less than everything you have. Because I know that you're capable of giving it."
"And in return?" Tony wondered, feeling foolish for asking. Part of him insisted he take what he could get and damn the consequences, but he'd learned his lessons well and that path would only destroy him.
"I'll protect you," Gibbs promised, his hand on Tony's cheek lifting slightly so that it became a caress, "I'll take care of you. Give you everything you'd ever need. Love you and cherish you with everything I am, every inch of my soul. I'll give you what you've spent the whole of your life looking for."
"What?" it was barely audible, Tony spoke it so quietly. The question earned him a smile that juxtaposed Gibbs' manner entirely –it was as gentle as he was unyielding.
"A place to belong."
Unbidden, a tear escaped him. Mortified, Tony tried to turn his face away but Gibbs' hold on him was absolute. Almost reverently, he kissed the tear away. Which, to Tony's horror, only made his eyes swim with more. With all the control he could muster, Tony held them back.
"You saying no?"
Considering he was asking that, Gibbs looked far too self-assure. As though there was only one possible response. Even more infuriating was the knowledge that he was right –there was never any question about what answer Tony would give.
"I'm not as stupid as I look," Tony rejoined, trying for light but not quite managing it, "Of course I'm saying 'yes'."
"I'll need your safe word." Gibbs informed him, a smug glint in his eye.
Tony was a little startled at that. He realized, belatedly, that he hadn't had one with McGee. Which was, in hindsight, phenomenally foolish of them. And which meant he had to puck one out of the clear blue sky. He wanted something that related to Gibbs, he decided, and, knowing that, it wasn't so difficult to chose.
Gibb's lips twitched in amusement.
"That'll do," he conceded, "Up."
He tugged strongly on Tony's hair as he issued the command but Tony required no encouragement. He obeyed at once.
Tony felt his subspace flare into being at that command and so he hesitated. He was hardwired to fight his submission all the way down and though he wanted this with everything he was, he couldn't help but resist. It was his nature.
Gibbs, as though he felt this hesitation, forced his head back, baring his neck, and tugged firmly.
"I said strip," he growled dangerously, getting right into Tony's face.
Hands flying to buttons, Tony began doing so.
"I knew you'd fight me," Gibbs commented, watching those hands work buttons loose with interest, "Don't go down easily but hold nothing back when you do. I know how to handle you. I'm gonna make you soar."
Tony shivered, feeling to his bones just how different Gibbs was to McGee. It was amazing his fingers didn't fumble as they slowly stripped him naked.
"Beautiful," Gibbs observed appreciatively once Tony stood utterly bare before him, all creamy skin and leaking cock. For the first time in years, Tony found himself feeling shy and forcibly shook the feeling off.
Gibbs eliminated all thoughts of embarrassment with another mind melting kiss. This time, however, he had a whole body to take advantage of and did so thoroughly. Tony's skin was caressed, his nipples pinched, his cock fingered, his ass kneaded. Gibbs took such relentless advantage of what Tony offered that Tony felt himself sinking into subspace so fast it was dizzying.
When he finally drew back, it was to seize Tony's wrist and draw him through the living room and into the bedroom. Once there, he placed his thumb on the pulse point and pressed firmly. Tony shuddered violently, dropping his head and struggling to breathe evenly.
"Trigger point?" Gibbs asked, but let Tony's reaction serve as the answer as he tightened his hold further. This time, Tony fell to his knees, gasping.
"While you're there," Gibbs began, voice like velvet as he unfastened his trousers and took himself in hand, "Show me that you're mouthing off is good for something."
Again Tony resisted and again Gibbs gave him no leave. He forced Tony's mouth open with his fingers and pushed himself into the cavern inside. Secretly loving the feel of a hard dick in his mouth, Tony set to work, trying to gather what information he could by feel alone. Gibbs' penis was long, uncut and hard as stone. It tasted like clean skin and something musky, almost earthy, a little bit bitter –which, really, personified Gibbs quite nicely.
Gibbs thrust lazily, using Tony's mouth thoroughly. Tony swallowed around him and, wanting to do a good job of it, brought his hands into the equation. Gibbs' hands never left the back of his neck, leaving no course of retreat, and this, along with the slight lack of air, pushed Tony completely into his submission.
Apparently Gibbs was totally in tune with Tony's reactions because he chose then to withdraw. Tony made a small sound of loss, actually swaying slightly where he knelt. His abjections were cut off the moment Gibbs tugged him to his feet and pressed their naked bodies together. Which caused Tony, in a barely active section of his brain, to wonder when Gibbs had undressed.
Then Tony was being guided onto the bed, Gibbs' hands exploring him meticulously, lighting up every hot spot they found, and Tony's brain lost the ability for rational thought completely.
"Look at you," Gibbs breathed, tweaking Tony's nipples and watching him arch into the touch, "So responsive. It's tempting to play with you a while, appreciate you fully. Keep you on the brink for hours just to watch you squirm."
Tony keened at the thought, doubting he'd ever felt so desperate. Gibbs trailed a hand between his legs reassuringly, penetrating him with a slick digit slowly. Tony hadn't even seen him retrieve the lube.
"Luckily, I'm feeling too desperate tonight to manage it," he said, twisting the finger firmly within Tony's hole and wringing a sound Tony would have been horrified to hear under normal circumstances. "Next time."
The promise filled Tony with warmth. Not from arousal but from contentment. Gibbs had all but told Tony, flat out, that this would not be a onetime thing. That there would be a next time –a lifetime filled with them.
"So tight," Gibbs commented, pushing in another finger slowly, "And just for the record, Tony? I may not say it very often but that doesn't make it any less true: I love you."
A third finger entered him then, and Tony felt full to the brim with emotion, with pleasure, with Gibbs. He let out a muffled sob, turning his head aside and fighting tears for the second time in an hour.
"Look at me," Gibbs disputed, pulling his fingers from Tony's body and using them to tilt Tony's head to the side, "Don't turn away. There's no shame here. No cause for it. You're breathtaking."
"I love you," Tony breathed, unable to contain it and allowing his tears to break free.
Gibbs ducked down to kiss him and, needing the reassurance, Tony opened under his lips blindly even as he pulled his legs wide and felt Gibbs push forward and in.
"Perfect," Gibbs groaned, bottoming out.
It was beyond perfect, it was sublime. Tony hadn't thought there was anywhere else to go but now he found his subspace had been taken to a place he hadn't even known existed before then. He clutched at Gibbs' shoulders tightly, feeling as though he would shake apart from sensation.
"Shhh, it's alright," Gibbs whispered, pressing kiss after kiss against his skin, "I've got you, Tony. Just give it up. Give everything up."
Letting out a heartrending sound that couldn't be identified, Tony obeyed. As though to reward him, Gibbs began to move and Tony began to understand why some people referred to sex as 'making love'. Tony had never felt more loved in his life –Gibbs touched him as though he were something precious, something he valued dearly. He made love to Tony like he wanted to dig himself under Tony's skin.
Tony tilted his head up for a kiss and got one, long and sweet. Gibbs continued to move, his pace even, and, wrapping his legs around Gibbs' waist, Tony arched up and egged him on.
Tony broke the kiss to gasp as Gibbs brushed his prostate and, moving his lips down, Gibbs latched onto Tony's throat and, without warning, bit down. Tony jerked, gripping Gibbs even harder in his surprise and desperate to come.
"Mine," Gibbs murmured softly, voraciously, "Mine."
"Gibbs," Tony pleaded, unable to take it anymore, "Please."
"Say it," Gibbs demanded, unrelenting.
Tony pulled Gibbs in even tighter, sobbing against him as he obeyed.
"Yours," he managed to swear.
Gibbs gave a loud groan, his pace faltering slightly as he mouthed mindlessly at Tony's ear.
"Come for me," he ordered.
Gibbs soothed him through it, firm and dependable, even as he continued to thrust, encouraging every last tremor out of Tony. Breaking him down and building him up at once.
Finally Tony was spent, relaxing utterly in Gibbs' arms as Gibbs thrust himself to completion. He said Tony's name as he came and the sound of it sent a vibration through Tony's soul, akin to an aftershock.
"Wow," he managed at last, boneless but slowly starting to swim up.
Gibbs lowered himself for a kiss and Tony gladly gave it to him, letting out a moan of discontent as Gibbs used the distraction to slip out of him. Tony clung to him, irrationally fearful he would withdraw, but he needn't have worried. Gibbs collapsed onto the bed and drew Tony practically on top of him, not loosening his hold in the slightest. Tony snuggled even closer and sighed happily as Gibbs' hand penetrated his hair and began to pet him, slowly soothing him and bringing him down.
"How long?" Tony asked him when he felt he could manage to string two words together.
"Since I woke up on that dock and saw you leaning over me," Gibbs told him peacefully, continuing to stroke him as he spoke, "After you rescued me and Maddy from the submerged car. That's when I knew I loved you."
"Why now?" Tony couldn't help but wonder, "Why not then?"
"You covered yourself too well," Gibbs told him wryly, "I wasn't about to risk the best agent I'd ever had when I wasn't sure how you'd react."
Tony instinctively wanted to ask if was better than Stupid Stan but retrained himself. Just.
"So now you were sure?" he asked instead.
"Not positive," Gibbs admitted, "But sure enough to take the chance."
"How?" Tony wondered, trying to think where he might have messed up.
"The bathroom door isn't sound proof."
For a moment Tony stared uncomprehendingly. Then it clicked.
"You heard that?" he blurted.
Gibbs just shrugged under him, a subtle shift of his shoulders, but even that felt slightly smug. Tony made a mental note to go someplace more private the next time he didn't want to be overheard. Then again, all things considered, he couldn't rightly complain.
"Which is why you thought McGee and I were sleeping together," Tony supposed, making a slight face at the thought, "I'm sure I mentioned we weren't attracted to each other in that conversation."
"You also offered to wear his collar," Gibbs pointed out darkly, tightening his hold possessively.
"As an act of support," Tony consoled and then, able to tell how little effect that had by how tense Gibbs remained, added "But he didn't ask me and I'm not collared."
"No," Gibbs agreed softly, raising a hand to trace softly at Tony's throat, "Not yet."
Tony shivered, leaning into the touch ever-so-slightly and trying to imagine what that would be like. Wearing Gibbs' collar and belonging utterly to him. It was a heady thought. Tony knew it would happen, too.
"Aren't you ready yet? Jesus, you're worse than a bloody girl sometimes."
Tony used the mirror to give Gibbs an indignant glare, straightening his tie perfunctorily.
"Easy for you to say," he sulked, ever so slightly, "You don't have to wear a suit."
Gibbs shrugged smugly, managing to look very fine regardless of the fact that he wasn't in a tux. Still, Tony mourned its loss heavily, eyeing Gibbs clothes with regret. Despite all his cajoling and... persuasive tactics... he hadn't managed to wrangle Gibbs into one. Damn it.
"I'm not the one who got myself appointed best man," Gibbs pointed out, watching Tony as though he wanted to rip the tux off him piece by piece, "Don't know what McGee was thinking."
"Apparently he takes his word seriously," Tony commented, though he'd been shocked out of his mind when Tim had asked, "He promised that if he ever married Abby..."
"Also promised he'd find you a good man," Gibbs pointed out, a glint in his eye.
"You shot that notion to hell pretty quickly," Tony reminded him wryly, though he couldn't help but smile thinking back to that particular scene. Still, McGee had impressed him. He'd actually warned Gibbs off hurting Tony and had done it without fainting, which had made it all the more incredible.
"Damn right," Gibbs muttered, pushing himself off against the wall and all but wrapping himself around Tony.
Tony shivered, tilting his head to the side automatically. Gibbs, always one to take advantage of what was given, gave him a thorough kiss that warmed Tony from the inside out.
"Let's hurry up and get to this wedding over with as quickly as possible," Gibbs told him, pulling back reluctantly, "I have plans."
"Oh, really?" Tony inquired, attention caught, "What sort of plans?"
"The sort without dress requirements," Gibbs shot back, giving a soft tug to Tony's hair and making him gasp.
"Stop that," he complained, not really complaining, "I can't go if I'm down. McGee will see it a mile away."
"No letting him dominate you," Gibbs warned, obediently releasing his hold and running his hand through Tony's hair and down to his neck, "I don't care how nervous he is."
"I know, I know," Tony assured tiredly, "I think McGee took that threat of getting married with a black eye pretty seriously. Honestly, I think he'll be too scared to lay so much as a hand on me."
"Good," Gibbs affirmed, pleased.
"There," Tony declared, ignoring the thrill of pleasure he got at how firmly Gibbs held onto him and pretending to be more concerned with his wardrobe, "How do I look?"
Gibbs pressed himself against Tony's back, the hand holding Tony at the base of his neck creeping around to trace a line around the plain leather collar Tony wore.
"Like your mine."
Tony smiled despite himself, drinking in the sight of his collared neck. It was a very simple plain black leather collar but Tony loved it. Besides, it was very comfortable and, being black, went with most his clothing. Which was, of course, essential.
Tony's ring tone interrupted the moment between them and Tony rolled his eyes, already knowing who it was.
"Relax, Probie, I'm on my way," Tony said the moment he answered, "Stress less, alright? You'll do fine."
The babble that spewed forth wasn't comprehensible. Tony sighed and hung up, not even bothering to decipher it.
"We'd better go," he told Gibbs reluctantly, "Before poor Timmy wets himself."
"Be thankful you're not Ziva."
Tony made a face. Abby, bless her heart, had made Ziva a bride's maid. Which not only meant that she had to put up with helping Abby organise the wedding, picking flower arrangements and dresses, she also had to put up with a panicky and overly exuberant Abby.
Suddenly, McGee wasn't looking too bad.
"Thank god for that," he breathed gratefully, making his way to the door, "I wouldn't survive."
Gibbs stopped Tony short as they reached the front door, straightening his tie further and dropping a kiss upon his lips.
"It'll work out," he assured simply.
Tony relaxed, feeling tension he hadn't even known existed seep out of him at the words and leaning into the solidness of Gibbs thankfully. This is what he really thanked god for –the series of impossible events that had given him Gibbs. That had given him a place to belong. As though reading his mind, Gibbs brushed a hand down his cheek, his eyes soft.
"C'mon," it was Gibbs' turn to coax, leading Tony out of the apartment and into the hallway, "We've got a wedding to survive."
Tony, acutely aware of the collar around his neck, smiled and figured that Gibbs was right. They'd had to go through a lot to get here and perhaps happy ever afters weren't magic –perhaps they were earned. Today was the day McGee captured his own. As for Tony... well, Tony already had his.
"DiNozzo! You waiting for an engraved invitation? Get moving!"
And he wasn't letting him go.
Authors Note: And that's all she wrote! Done! The End! YAY! Thanks a heap to everyone who's stuck with me and reviewed –your comments are what made my updates so timely. I hope the ending met all your expectations –hot sex, happy ending and all. Thanks for joining me for the ride and, until next time, ciao!