Hey guys!! I am so sorry for not updating As Lovely as a Primrose or The 19th Hunger Games lately, I've been very busy!! I am working on them though- there will probably be an update next Monday! But I just got this idea, and I had to go with it. You writers understand:) I think Gale and Peeta lovers will enjoy this- so please R&R!! Thanks so much, I love you all!
Disclaimer- Not the owner of The Hunger Games. (yawn, I'm tired...)
I should be happy.
My best friend, husband for 5 years, who has loved me forever, was sitting here holding me in a warm embrace underneath the sunset. He surprised my son, Victor and I with a picnic in celebration of the end of terror. The air no longer lingers with the sound of agonizing cries and cannons blasting. The rebellion has finally ended. The Mockingjay has taken flight, broken wing healed by the absence of the Capitol's complete control.
When I had Vic, a bittersweet feeling passed through me. At first, I was so incredibly happy to have my very own child, the spitting image of Gale. He was beautiful. But then, my mind still half in the Games, because really, can you escape? I saw his face slowly disappear like Rue letting her eyelids fall. He could, and would be gone just like she was if we did not win this war. The Capitol would just have to have the Mockingjay's son fight to the death in the arena.
I was sick of the Capitol. Sick of them for using me and... Peeta.
I dread the moments when he enters my thoughts. Which, is most of the time.
After the Quarter Quell, he was held in the Capitol, being mentally tortured for information. Mentally, meaning, telling him sickening lies like what they were doing to me: cutting off limbs, beating me, whipping me. I know what your thinking, how could a boy as intelligent as Peeta believe that?
The Capitol obviously thought that too, because the lies came with their own soundtrack. Screams. My screams, sounds of saws. How do I know this? It was broadcast on live television for all of Panem.
Lucky for us, some of the smarter Capitol citizens were unhappy for their little star-crossed lover being tortured, and wanted to rebel. For a brief time, a "Capitol Escape" society was formed to get Capitol citizens out, but it ended quickly due to their stupidity, and being captured and turned into Avoxes.
Gale tried to comfort me at home in District 13, but all I did was sit around and cry and feel sorry for myself. We couldn't rescue him unless we wanted to risk getting myself and our families killed. I didn't care if I died, but I had to take Prim and my mother into consideration. When an execution was announced, I nearly lost it. I just wanted to scream that Peeta really didn't know anything. I was so frustrated, and couldn't bring myself to watch it. All I heard before I walked out of the room was a scream of my name and a gasp of the audience. I just thank God I didn't hear his cry of pain.
How could I have lived anymore? There was nothing worth it. I had to give up. Forget the war, it was all for him anyway. But one thought stood firm in my mind.
Gale. What about him? I knew he could comfort me, and help me through this time of terror. He came by my door everyday while I was away from reality. I was really in denial- Peeta wasn't dead. He wasn't dead. I said it over and over again. I had to make myself believe that. That would make me happy.
But I was just kidding myself.
I couldn't live for God knows how many years clinging to Peeta's pearl and pretending he was here, talking to me. I had to stand up and walk out of this room to accept my life. So when Gale gave his daily knock one day, I opened the door and grabbed him into a passionate kiss, hungering for closeness to another person. Tears flowed down my face like a waterfall, which only made me cling to Gale harder. He knew this was an answer: I was letting him back in to my life.
He came by my room everyday for the next couple months, and eventually got me to leave and eat with the rest of the District 13 residents. The war continued for the next couple of years, filled with blood and tears. Gale was the only happy thing in my life. Since we were together, they didn't make him fight in the war. I was so relieved, if Gale died, I don't know what I would do. Prim and my mother would have been fine, but for the first time in my life, I lost the protective feeling.
Prim was getting older, and my mother was helping her. All they needed from me was love. Not food, money, nothing. They had everything they ever needed. There weren't any Hunger Games during the war, so Prim was safe. At last.
I toured the country, having to fulfill my "symbol of the rebellion" duties, with Gale by my side. Whenever he came in bed next to me, I felt a pang in my chest of longing for Peeta. Gale was wonderful, but it wasn't the same. Gale seemed a little awkward and couldn't calm me or romance me like Peeta could. But none the less, I loved him, and he was laying there with me.
Another year passed and the war was at its climax. Gale had invited me to walk around the woods in District 13, and I was surprised. Being in the woods meant memories of our beloved District 12 rushing in like our pond that lied within it. These woods were nice though, and it was nice to be in my natural habitat. Everything was just like it used to be, until Gale got down on one knee.
At first I was so shocked, I didn't understand what was happening to me. Marriage? I had never thought of it before, being as there was the Hunger Games, and well, I was never the lovey type. But I didn't hesitate to say yes. I could have Gale forever now, he would never die on me. This was right.
So here I sit now, happy with our son, and maybe another on the way, staring at the beautiful orange sunset. Then it hits me: orange. Sunset. Peeta. This brand new emotion hits me, and I don't understand it. It's filled with regret and sorrow, like I'm not fully myself. I remember the day when we tried to start our friendship on the train. I can almost feel the wild flowers he had given me grasped in my hands, his gentle breathing by my side.
"It's amazing how you would risk your life to save mine, but I don't
even know what your favorite color is." He says.
"Green. Yours?" I look up as he smiles and glances at the sky.
"Orange? Like Effie's hair?" I laugh as I remember myself saying that.
Oh, how I wish I could be there now.
"No, a bit more muted," he says through a laugh. "More like sunset."
I look up to the sky. The same, beautiful canvas of colors that Peeta
and I looked up to that night what seems like lifetimes ago.
I imagine Peeta's gentle hand painting the sky, as to remind me
When I see the sky, I wonder what life would be like if it were Peeta
here and not Gale. I lean on Gale's shoulder. Peeta would want me to
live this life with Gale now, so I could spend all of eternity with him.
Why I had to decide it now, I don't know. But it's clear.
I'm was in love with Peeta all along.
Hmm... what do you think? R&R please!