A/N I wrote this all those years ago when I came across my very first BioWare game-KOTOR. It was my very first ( a lot of first here, isn't it) fanfic. I still love it dearly. So I decided to dig it out from the bottom of my documentation storage and post it here. And yes, my Revan was also called Leela. Don't be confuse with a certain air genasi in another realm.
The space station URX-571 was just as busy as usual. Being located at the last official Republic stop at the Outer Rim, it had been like this for quite some time; travelers and various planet officials making their best opportunities to stock up their ships before chartered into the Unknown Region. You've got all kinds of people here, speaking all kinds of languages, plus the humming noise of robots and stumping vibrations of the livestock. The whole place was full with a loud, buzzing noise. You would need to raise your voice to the near peak level to communicate with each other.
The door towards the docking bay had just slid open. A tall, slim, white-hooded figure emerged from all the smoke and noise. There was a certain serenity surrounded this person, as if all the commotions around did not exist at all. Several people gushed and stared at her as the person passed by.
"Look, Mummy! A Jedi!" A young alien pointed at the person. Of course, only a Jedi could have some calmness in places like this.
A small, waist height robot approached. It made a series of beeping and humming noise, seemed communicating with the person.
"Oh hello, T3, didn't expect to see you here." the person spoke. It was a female. She slowly removed the hood and revealed a strikingly pretty face. She looked and sounded tired, but seemed delighted to see the robot: "How have you been?"
It was Leela (aka Revan). All these years of travelling did not seem to affect her at all. On the contrast, she appeared more radiant and beautiful than ever. Her charcoal dark hair was longer now, loosely braided behind. Her emerald eyes seemed greener, sparkled with hidden thoughts and emotions. There were a few cuts on her lips, but they all seemed to be minor and not affecting her health. Seemed like Leela thought that way, too, as she didn't bother to use her heal ability to get rid of them.
The robot made more sequences of beeping sounds.
"I see. So you are now working in this station now,….. with??!!?…Is she here as well!!? That's pretty surprising, I must say….No, I did not expecting to see her here really. Where is she anyway?" Leela grinned. There were more surprises, by the look of it.
The robots turned around and lead the way. They walked across the long check in hall and headed to a door on the other side. The door slid open. It seemed they were inside the space station's cantina.
Before Leela could have a good look around, she was in the arms of someone who seemed flying out of nowhere. Suddenly she felt a bit short of breath..
"HOLY MOTHER OF GIZKA! LEELA????!!!!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!! HOLY-MOLLY! LEELA!!" It was Mission. She was literally in tears. Her loud screaming voice caused a few heads turning in the cantina.
"Hi, Mission. It's good to see you." Leela struggled to squeeze the words out.
"We all thought you were….we didn't expected to see you again in our lifetime…. Gees, It is you." Mission finally pulled herself away a bit to look at Leela: "It's been how long? Seven years? Eight years? Goodness me!"
Mission Vao seemed grown up a lot. The beauty of Twi'lek was well known throughout the Galaxy. Mission had filled into that image nicely. She appeared more… feminine, a pair of knee height boots, dark blue suits, and lots of dangling jewelleries on her wriest. Her deep sapphire eyes now welled with tears and beamed with delight.
"Lost track of time." Leela beamed back "What are you two doing here?"
"I work here now. Well, at the moment anyway." Mission waved her arm sarcastically: "Big Z went to the Outer Rim to investigate some illegal slavery trade on some remote planets. You know what he was like when it comes to slavery, don't you? It was really depressing after a while, so I decided to wait here. He knows I am here and promised me he will come to join me after he's done the last few planets. As for him," she pointed at the robot "he was already here when I arrived. Apparently someone placed an awful lot of resource in the remote places like this to look for you."
Leela nodded but did not reply. The thought of him still looking for her warmed her heart, but at the same time, she also felt a familiar sadness emerging deep within.
"I think we should let him know you are here, don't you think? I am sure he will be very, very delighted!" Mission nodded to the robot, which seemed to know exactly what to do, almost instantly start beeping and dialling up the hyperspace communication device.
"So how have you been?" Mission looked at Leela enthusiastically after getting some drinks for both of them: " Find anything?"
Again Leela did not reply. She seemed drift into some deep thought again for a few minutes before changed the topic: "How's everyone?"
"Same-o, same-o. You know what's it's like. The Republic's been quite busy hunting down the remaining Sith since the fall of Lord Malak." Mission shrugged: " After Malak was gone, the Sith just collapsed like a tray of loose sand. Some of them did tried to fight back, but so far it's been unsuccessful."
"Oh." Leela nodded.
"But I got a feeling you know that already." Mission glanced.
"That's not entirely unexpected." Leela said simply.
"Bastila finally got her Jedi Master title, not without a series of trial held by the Republic first, though. Considering what she had done when she was on the dark side… Well, the Jedi Council wasn't that fussy, on the other hand. They took her back with open arms, just like all the others who returned from the dark. She is now in the Jedi Council on the newly restored Dantooine. No, she declined the offer to work in the Coruscant." Mission reported hotly: "The experience of falling to the Dark side made her stronger. She is now often giving counselling to those who hang in the balance of the light and dark."
"Oh. And Juhani?"
"Like you, she travelled beyond the Outer Rim a few years ago, haven't heard from her for a while now…" Mission looked at her sadly: "Jolee…Jolee…he was killed when battling with Sith Lord Nihilius." Mission was in tears again, for different reason this time: "I am so sorry, Leela. I know you two had been close. We all love the good old grandpa. Damn Sith, they can all go to hell!"
The robot interrupted the conversation with a few high-pitched beeping noises. Mission seemed quite surprised about something the robot had just revealed: "Are you sure, T3? He is not far from here? Oh, my goodness! This is wonderful!"
Leela also looked at the robot but seemed drifting into thoughts again. Mission shot her a few curious glances. What had been happening to Leela when she was out there? Not that she was a chatterbox in the past, but so far all the impression she got was her former allied had been rather quiet than usual. She thought at least the news of him nearby would have cheered her up a little. But at the end she decided to say nothing. She turned towards the robot again: "He is on his way? How soon will he be here?"
The robot made a few more beeping and wheezing in response.
"Tomorrow morning? WOW, that's quick! Which sector is he at exactly, like he happened to be just next door or something?" Mission raised her eyebrow. A strikingly familiar pose, Leela's attention temporarily being drawn back from her thoughts. She couldn't help herself and laughed.
"………….What do you mean 'it is confidential'? Who else will be interested to know? The Sith are all gone, well, at this stage anyway… Oh I see, you mean others. Fair enough…………." Mission continued her conversation with T3.
Leela began to look around the cantina. It was quite a standard place, really. After all, somewhere this remote would not be so flashy. But she had seen worst. There were just normal clouds. A few Twi'leks at the corner of the room were discussing something, seemed highly suspicious, but somehow she sense it was nothing major, so she decided not to bother to go over to investigate.
"Oh, Silly me! I completely forgot!" Mission slapped her forehead: "We better find you somewhere to stay for the night, aren't we. There is a hotel on the other side of the station, not very luxurious, but it will do. T3, would you mind taking Leela there for me? I can't really leave at the moment as I am officially still on my shift." Mission winked and pointed at the bar "Tell the fella at the counter there shouldn't be any charges, will you? If he complains or anything, remind him politely that he still owes me 300 credit from the Pazaak last week!!"
The high pitch beep indicated that T3 would be happy to do the job. It started gliding away from the table. Leela stood up, thanked T3, then said to Mission before she followed the robot off towards the door: "Will I be seeing you after you're off the shift?"
" 'Course. What do you take me for?" Mission also stood up, moving towards the bar "I will be right there once my shift is over."
T3 was waiting for Leela at the door they came through a few minutes earlier. He seemed to have a few inquiries.
"No, T3. I don't have any luggage with me actually." Leela replied " Just me… yes."
They left the cantina, back to the check-in hall, and towards the other side. The robot led her through another door, and yet another. Along the way, there was packed with travellers and luggage, all looking extremely exhausted. Leela and T3 barely had room to manoeuvre around.
Once they finally reached the small hotel at the other side of the station. T3 waited for her to check in, lead her to her room, and headed back to the check-in hall.
The room was quiet, which was a good thing, considering Leela had a few thing to go through in her mind, plus a need for really good night's rest. She did not plan to stay here long. This was a sudden act of the emotion. She was psychologically drained and terribly homesick. Against all the training of a Jedi, she wanted to be back to the familiar environment to recharge a bit. One night will do, she thought. Then she would be back to the True Sith searching spree.
She pulled out the datapad and punched in a code. The screen immediately lit up with blue glowing light. She drew out the information within and began to analyse it. However, her mind kept wondering off towards pieces of unrelated memories and visions:
"Are you sure this is wise? The Jedi Council will never approve of this…" Malak stated.
"Since when have we ever listen to what the Jedi Council had to say?" Leela, then Revan, sneered: "You can leave if you don't want to be involved!" Then she opened the gate.
" I will go wherever you go, Rev." Malak said passionately "There is no turning back now, are there? Not since…."
"Revan, we've healed up Malak." Master Zongoon told an anxious Revan: "He is a strong child. He passed the test."
"What will happen to him now?" Revan asked.
"He will be your apprentice, Darth Revan." Master Zongoon said proudly.
"The Republic is weak after the Mandalorian Wars; we can take over the galaxy with ease!!" Malak boasted.
"Yes, with the weapon we possess, we will be unstoppable and victorious!" Revan smiled.
"Remove all obstacles, at all costs! Whoever stands up against us will be eliminated from the face of this galaxy!!" Revan announced towards the Sith armada, grinning with triumph.
Leela opened her eyes and sit up abruptly. For a few seconds she stared blankly at the wall in front of her, puffing heavily. Then she sighed and gently wiped off the thin layer of sweat on her forehead. Those visions of her days as Revan had always been unpleasant. It had been years since she had a peaceful night sleep. These days she had to rely on her Jedi training and meditation to stop herself from collapsing.
A gentle scratch at the door drew her back to the reality. Leela looked at her pocket watch; it was way past the midnight and her neck had become stiff.
She stood up, rubbed her neck, and answered the door. It was Mission.
"My, those ships have finally gone. Two refugee ships and one cargo ship stopped at ONCE tonight!! Bloody Gizka! My body doesn't belong to me anymore!!" Mission moaned and threw herself into the only chair in this room "I really hope Big Z is back soon, so I can get out of this silly job! I really HATE being tied up at the same place! I've been on this station for just over a year now—far too long for my standards!!"
Leela looked at her former companion and offered some healing help, which Mission gratefully accepted. After a few moments, she said to Mission: "I can only stay for tonight, Mission."
"WWWHAT?!!" Just like Leela expected, Mission's dark azure eyes widen,:" Why? We haven't seen you for ages and tonight it was very nice to finally able to see you again. Now you want to leave??!! You are barely rested! At least you should stay for a week! Then I can try to get everyone to come over for a quick reunion! I've been just spoken to Bastila, she said she will be here as soon as she could…."
"There isn't much time." Leela looked outside the window: "I got some leads, if I am not chasing after those quickly, they might be gone!"
"It's really nice to see you and T3 tonight. I really didn't expect that. But I can't stay long. Mission, you've got to understand me." Leela turned her heads back and looked at Mission.
"…I don't think I will ever understand you, Leela." Mission's face saddened: "If you only stay for the night, why even bother?"
"…It was on the route." Leela replied simply.
"How did you get here then?"
"One of those refugee ships."
"There might not be another refugee ship till next week. How are you going to leave?"
"There will be other ships. " Leela smiled.
Mission began to sob. She was not usually like this. Only in front of Big Z and the ones she trusted, she would disarmed her usual strong and tough cover and behave like her true self.
Leela sighed: "Mission, must you do this?"
"I can't help it!" Mission dabbed her eyes: "What about HIM? He is on his way here now. You aren't going to break his heart again, are you? He's been waiting for you for all this time…"
"….He'll understand. This is my destiny." Leela replied.
"Forget about your silly Jedi destiny for a moment, will you?" Mission screamed "What about your heart? What about his destiny? You are here tonight because your heart craving all those… all those things, isn't it? What's wrong with staying longer? Leela, you don't have to give up all these personal emotion all the time! Do you know that?!"
Leela did not answer Mission. She stared at her hands, the hands that had surely been covered with blood in her Lord Revan days. She had to admit that she was also craving to see him. But…what would she do if she saw him again? It was her who decided to distance herself from him. She did not deserve someone like him. She knew perfectly well this was her destiny; she had to face it all by herself. Would she be able to concentrate on what she was doing after seeing him?
"You must face your destiny alone. You must leave everything behind, including the ones you love." one of her Master's words echoed in her mind.
But…wasn't he her destiny, too?
Before she could figure out any of those concerns, the door opened. A tall strong-build figure marched in: long fingers, strong jaw lines, slight messy hair, dark auburn eyes sparkled with great anxiety, and slight hoarse voice.
It was Admiral Carth Onasi, in his full uniform. It looked like he came in a great deal of rush.
"WHERE IS SHE?" He demanded Mission in a rather rude and aggressive tone, without noticing Leela was just sitting not very far away from her: "I got the message saying she was here. WHERE IS LEELA?"
"HEY, don't you knock? You didn't just pick the lock at the door, did you? You scared the Mickey out of me!" Mission complained: "I didn't think you'd be here until tomorrow…."
"HK managed to calculate a shortcut and…" Carth answered kind of halfway before he noticed Leela. His words drifted off.
All of the sudden, the time seemed to be fading off. Everything surrounding them, Mission, the room, the station, the universe appeared had flown out of the window at this point and time. Nothing else was relevant.
Carth's eyes darkened. He stared at her for a moment as if he couldn't believe she was simply sitting there, as if she was just another mirage or on of his endless dreams in numerous nights. He blinked his eyes, and again, and again, then began slowly walking towards her, like flies drew towards the lights. Leela wasn't any better. Goodness! Carth looked terribly exhausted and…how could she put it…emotionally tortured. All she was thinking now was she wanted to be in his arm, and smooth all those worry lines on his face. She nearly stood up, but then remained seated and stared back at Carth helplessly, unsure whether she should move forward towards him or something else.
When their faces finally reached within a few inches of each other, Carth still looked at Leela dreamily. He slowly reached out his hands, but stopped at a few millimetres of her face with some degrees of hesitation, like if he touched her, she would disappear into the thin air or break into pieces. Leela looked straight back into his eyes, her eyes reflecting every emotion of his. Her hands also reached out, also stopped in the midair, unsure whether to touch Carth's face or not.
Then like someone just flicked the switch, in an instant, they were in each other's arms, kissing.
"…I can't believe it is you, beautiful." Carth's face broke into a devastating grin. He murmured in a low tone only Leela could hear: "I couldn't believe the message when they passed it on to me. I had to come to see for myself. It's been a while since you and I were standing this close to each other. When you did not return with the Ebon Hawk, I thought…I thought…" He took a deep breath, inhaling all the scent that was coming from Leela, and did not finish the sentence.
"Well, I am here, Flyboy." Leela heard herself saying.
"Yes, you are, gorgeous." Carth pulled himself away from Leela slightly, running his fingers gently through her porcelain face, before he holds her in his arms once more and exhaled passionately: "Yes…God, I missed you so much."
"I missed you, too. Carth." Leela heard herself reply sincerely.
"AHEM, if you two don't mind, I am still here." Mission purposely made a very loud cough "Any of you two mind to check the room before getting all mushy?"
Her complaint did not seem to disturb them at all, not even the slightest. Carth cupped Leela's face in his hands, inspecting her long and carefully, as if she might have some bits missing while travelling in the Unknown Region. After a few minutes, he asked: "You aren't going to stay long, are you?"
"…Leaving tomorrow." Leela ran her fingers along Carth's lips slowly.
"Luckily HK found this shortcut" Carth clasped her fingers and gently pressed kisses on them.
Mission made several more complaint but none of them seemed to be heard by the two. She eventually gave up: "I guess I will… Oh, well, never mind…"
She stood up, gave Carth and Leela one more contented glance before leaving the room.
After a while Carth asked: "Any progress?"
"Lots of leads that lead to nowhere, but no, no progress so far." Leela sighed.
"Are you sure this information is correct, you know it might be false report?"
"Force told me this is absolutely correct." Leela ran her fingers through Carth's hair: "You've aged, hairless Wookie. Does Wookies age? "
"What…? Of course I have, as far as I am concerned there is no Youth Serum anywhere in this Galaxy!" Carth replied with a frown.
Leela chuckled softly: "You really care about this, don't you?"
" No, I don't! I just…."
"That's human nature, Flyboy." She started playing a strand of Carth's hair, which had started containing a few grey ones: "Besides, I am getting old, too."
"To me you are not, beautiful." Carth said earnestly: "You will always be as gorgeous as the time when I first met you."
"Carth," Leela buried her face deep into Carth's chest and sighed: "You know… you just said the nicest thing."
A friendly beeping noise from the bedside table awoke them a few hours later. Leela got up, gingerly moving towards the footlocker at the corner and preparing to check her gears before she left.
Carth's big hand covered hers. She turned and met Carth's auburn eyes. Without a word, Leela immediately knew what he was after.
Her heart began to ache. She signed quietly. Why on earth it's always been so hard to say goodbye?
She covered his hand with hers: "Hey, Flyboy."
Carth blinked his eyes, seemed trying to fight back the welling up tears: "Hey, beautiful."
"I will be going now." Such silly words.
"Yes." Carth's arms slowly surrounded her shoulders: "Yes, gorgeous."
You must face your destiny alone. You must leave everything behind, including the ones you love.
But this is so hard, Leela thought.
"……….I'm sorry, Carth." She leaned her head against his shoulder, while Carth closed his eyes, attempting to carve this moment into his memory.
"You know I love you, right?" Carth asked.
Leela signed deeply: "Yes. And I love you, too."
"I will always be here waiting for you."
Leela's answered for that was putting her arms around his, and gave him one, deepest, most passionate of kisses.
"Are you sure you can't stay?" Mission, who wasn't giving up that easily, made the last attempt.
Leela grinned and hugged her tightly: "Look after yourself, will you?"
"Don't I always?" Mission frowned.
Leela turned around and looked at Carth, whose hand holding hers and seemed tighten when their eyes met.
"Keep the Republic strong." she said.
Leela took a deep breath, prepared to turn around and boarding the ship: "Well, that's….."
Her words trailed off, Carth pulled her into his arms.
"Do come back, beautiful." he whispered.
Leela tighten her arms and took a deep breath, inhaling scent that was coming from Carth. It would be a long time she is this close to him again.
Before he could do anything, she quickly pulled herself from him, turned around and quickly walked off through the door.
"Take care of yourself, Leela!" Mission shouted.
Leela raised her hand and wave. Her tears began to well and slipping off her chin.
She pulled on the hood and stepped onto the incline. The smoke and nose soon surrounded her, leaving no trace, as if she had never been here.