"Before you ask, I didn't intentionally eavesdrop onto your conversation with Detective Stabler. I thought maybe you two were interrogating a perp; I only pressed the button to gain access. I didn't know it's your head that lay on that desk obscured ... It made sense when the conversation was half-way though, and by then I just – I already heard too much and I had to stop it. "
Brown eyes, canvassed by rich eyeliner displayed confusion as they narrowed slightly. Alright, enough of the circus – get it over with Benson. You already played tonsil hockey with the Counsellor, the least you could do is finish the game – win or lose.
"So," her voice croaked out, finding its stance from the state of absence. "You heard everything, on how I wanted you to stay, and-"
"-And Elliot's rendition of cave man love woman. Yeah, I did. "Her ruby red lips took a small smirk, fixing her gaze on Olivia as she had decided to take a seat across from Alex, a safe distance from the suggestive position of the Attorney.
"I don't want to spread anymore bullshit, Olivia. I came to find you for a reason."
Olivia's heart dropped with an audible 'thud' into the pit of her stomach. I knew it. "I'm listening," she swallowed, her voice taking a tinge of defence.
"The court room – what had happened, it – it scared the crap out of me, Liv. It felt so good – I wanted it for such a long time and ... leaving was going to be hard – and that just caused my departure to go into a screeching nose dive. "Alex's eyes wavered in contact as she looked down at her calf, kicking it in the air mindlessly. "I went over it – about a thousand times since,"
4 days, 4 hours and 9 minutes, Olivia noted.
"You probably feel like I have been avoiding you and the truth is I have." The attorney confessed, hearing an audible sweep of Olivia's feet as they readjusted their position. What I made a mistake? if she did? I can't go back. "Liv, the reason was I have been tied up in a shit load of paper work. I have been going over you – me, us, my job – and so I spoke with Donnelly,"
Olivia looked up at this, her head tilting to the side and her mouth opening – but Alex cut her off,
"No liv, let me finish. " Alex jumped off the desk and started to pace back and forth, chewing her lip as she did. Her movements were making Olivia overly nauseous. The combination of anticipation and rejection were fighting her esophagus.
"I rejected my position as DA of Chicago." She confessed without haste, stopping in front of the two way mirror and looking outward.
"Alex you ca-"
"No. Look, I'm not doing this for you. Or to say – I am but this isn't career suicide, Liv. I got a notice of another applicant for the position that has just as high of requirements as I do. "Her body remaining turned from Olivia's view. "'Liz and I," She corrected, "Donnelley, and I are really good acquaintances, and she let me in on something that will remain between the two of us" Her eyes met Olivia's, noting no objection she continued. "She's planning on retiring – not yet, but soon, and , " her body heaved with a heavy sigh, as she finally swallowed her pride, letting it emit through her sparkling eyes as she smiled at Olivia. "She has a pretty good wind that in a few years time, someone will be retiring alongside her from DA. She has confidence that the open position will go to only someone with a deep intellectual knowledge of the law, who understands its workings – knows how to mould it and who lives it. Liv, she believes I have a very strong chance for that position – Here - In New York City."
Full lips moved inaudibly like a guppy, soundless reasoning's fighting for escape. Olivia was completely floored. Nothing this coincidental just – happened. Not to her anyway, how could a solution venture its way into her life to parade happily on top of her gloom fest. What should she say? What could she say? She had no words; she was just at a loss.
Alex fixed her gaze on Olivia, trying to see through the smoke and mirrors of Detective Benson. In the back of her mind she had a nitpicking of worry, that this was a decision bound by love and blindness. Love already? Christ, sure are a fast moving one aren't you, Alex? Filling the distance between her and Olivia she merely leaned over; palms both down on each side of Olivia's clasped hands – staring inquisitively at her in waiting.
She knew this was the right decision. Her heart, her soul – belonged in NYC, and while the DA position enthralled her, in all honesty it didn't quite reach her eyes in earnest. She had been striving to be DA since her employment as ADA in the SVU Precinct. She wanted her reign of power to shine but in her territory – not another lost city she had to rebuild from the ground up, but to maintain her fortress of legal solidarity.
"What if it doesn't work, and ... we, I , what if it all gets screwed up and you hate me for it later on, for not taking the chance?" Her fears wound their way out of her tightly lipped features. It was a fear they both had shared, only Alex was the one to look fear in the eye and tell it to 'fuck off' and let her live her life.
Alex's eyes trailed a path from Olivia's hands to her fingers that drummed nervously on the counter. Alex let her delicate fingers meet those nervous ones and embraced them, forcing them to cease and Olivia to look upward. "We won't know until we try, and if it doesn't – then I will be more than happy knowing I didn't go to a position I wasn't 100% sure of, and regretting not chasing something I've wanted since day one. "
Detective Benson's blood surged through her body at the intimate gesture, and she found her courage to look upward at Alex who's eyes held an emotion she couldn't quite pinpoint. "Since day one, huh?" she finally relented and cracked a smile throughout her worry. "Come on, Cabot, I would have known then. Heck – I didn't even know then. "
Alex simply smirked in response, using her other arm to cover Olivia's free hand. "When I left the room that day – I saw your reflection mirrored in the hallway window. Your eyes were trained squarely on my ass. Oh – I noticed, but like you detective, I," she bit her lip, letting her cocky grin waver, "didn't admit to them until way later on. Way later on."
Olivia felt trapped – but all in a good way. Apart from their confessions in the courtroom a few days ago, Olivia couldn't have even begun to wrap her head around the fact that Alex's feeling transpired previously – from day one at that. Another emotion surged upward though Olivia Benson and this time she didn't hide it, over think; analyze or question it. She wanted to take everything Alex gave her and wrap it into the perfect ending to a colossal reign of emotions.
Freeing her hand from the Attorney's grasp she hooked it underneath her coats collar, inching her forward. Alex's eyebrow merely quirked in response – they had done so much talking, so much debating and so much internal monologue that they just needed a moment of silence and understanding.
With a tenderness Alex wasn't aware the butch – Benson held, she strung Alex toward her, their lips intertwining in a soft caress of exploration. The kiss in itself wasn't for arousal, nor was it a by passing for second base like they had strove for in the Courtroom. It was simply each woman tasting, stating their closing arguments, relishing in their final verdict to one another.
Olivia captured Alex's bottom lip in between her own; claiming it for a second time, before letting it go, finishing with a small peck, and then another and another. Her lips weren't as bruised as the last time – but Olivia knew any kiss Alex would plant on her would cause her body to feel it hours later. It was addiction she would easily relapse into.
"No more questioning, "Alex whispered – their eyes locked on one another's, both tinted with a small sheen of emotions.
"No more." Olivia's lips pulled into a smile, tempting Alex to raise her stakes and reclaim her winnings; Olivia's heart.
"But I do have one question for you, Counsellor, "Alex's initial response was to revert back to her closed position in argument, but Olivia's hands on her collar kept her from moving. "I want to take you out for dinner. Not like the one where Elliot, Fin and Munch tag along. I want it to be a legitimate first date – no key games, no pretzels and no pitchers of beer. Just you, I and that sexy Red dress." She finished with a smile of amusement, and a maroon color creeping its way around her flexed cheekbone.
Alex shook her head at Olivia, inching forward to play her words upon the slick lips of the Detective. "I would love to, Olivia. " Her lips hovered dangerously over Olivia's pronounced ones, almost touching – as she added, "And maybe after you can keep that Red Dress, and choose our bed attire."
With that they both re entered their exploration of tongues, arms, hands – fingers and hearts. Without prejudice they both fell into one another.
"Isn't Liv gonna be pissed that we listened to their conversation the whole time?" The dark Detective wondered aloud, looking over at a smug Elliot and a bemused Munch.
"No." Elliot shook his head, his back turning away from the growing scene on the other side of the window. "Because we won't tell her, will we?"
Both men shook their heads in unison. Fin and Munch we're partners in crime at the precinct and in silence as well.
Fin and Elliot were already vacating their poised positions, and walking toward the main entrance, both pausing to call over their shoulders at a missing 3rd wheel.
"Coming, coming. " He resounded, picking up his long legs and stalking toward the two awaiting detectives who merely looked at him partially in disgust.
"Hey, I'm no perv, just a grown Jewish man who's now tied into his possible next relationship failure. I just wanted to know how they can keep their lips locked in that position." He motioned over his shoulder, keeping his eyes averted from the unfolding scene.
Fin and Elliot's eyes jarred over to the obscured window from around the corner. They both shook their heads, ignoring their inquisitive minds. "I dunno," Fin answered earnestly, narrowing his eyes at the two then turning away with Elliot and Munch as the brooding 3 men began to emerge into the precinct. "Mus' be a woman yoga thing."
Thanks again everyone for taking the time to read my first story. I appreciate the feedback and your kind words. I hope the story ended alright! I may consider attempting another story, we will see how it goes. It was nice having something of a dedication to work towards. "Must get chapter written up," as opposed to just over sleeping. Lmao.
Thanks again everyone! I can't wait to read any/all of your stories, too!