I do not own Ranma ½ or its characters; Rumiko Takahashi does and I make no money from writing this story.
Mousse smiled in greeting at the two men who entered the Neko Hanten, who promptly sat in his section. They were his favourite customers who not only were like friends to him, but were generous with their tips. They had met in the café quite by accident a year before and had been a loving couple ever since. Toshi was a criminal lawyer at the peak of his career and Kenji was a doctor, they both shared good looks, favourable health and success in life while in their mid thirties. "Hey fellas, will you be having your usual?" he asked the kindly gay couple.
"Of course hottie, two of the usual and one of you to go" Toshi replied, he liked to pretend to hit on Mousse and Mousse didn't mind.
"Now, now Toshi what would Shampoo think if I left with you?" Mousse teased back.
"Shampoo not care" came a voice from behind him and Shampoo left with a toss of her hair to serve her next customer. Mousse blushed at this while both men broke into good natured laughter, which even he joined in.
"I tell you Mousse, you should give up on her and find yourself a nice guy" Kenji suggested, giving his partner a loving look.
Mousse felt a stab of envy at the obvious true love they shared, "that would be a fine idea, if I liked men" he said.
"How could you pass this up?" Toshi asked while he batted his eyelashes playfully at the Chinese martial artist.
"Easily, you're far too hairy for my liking" Mousse replied rolling his eyes.
Toshi actually looked hurt for a second "You're just hairy enough for me" his partner assured him and then turned to Mousse. "We have an announcement to make; we're getting married. Would like you to come to our wedding?"
"Oh? I didn't know that gay marriage was legal in Japan" Mousse said.
"It's not, so it'll be more like a big party where we will be exchanging vows, please say you'll come. You're the reason why we met in the first place" Toshi said and it was true. They had both come into the Neko Hanten on a particularly busy day. Having only one table left and the two of them being alone, Mousse had asked them if they would mind sharing it. They had accepted and had been together ever since.
Mousse wasn't disturbed by anyone else's sexuality and was secure in his own (lack of it, that is) "I would love to come" he replied.
"Great, wear something sexy" Toshi said.
Mousse looked down at his usual white robe, belt and pants combination "sexier than this?" he teased.
"Very much so, I don't see why you straight boys always hide your light under a bushel basket" Toshi said sourly.
Mousse raised his eyebrows at his friend "let's just say that I prefer my package to remain a mystery to be unwrapped by the right person on our wedding night"
Kenji regarded the haughty Amazon girl flirting with Ranma "If you're waiting for that one, it's going to be pretty rusty by then" he observed.
"I have faith" Mousse said even though the scene disturbed him.
Toshi shook his head at partner "aren't you glad that we're not straight anymore? We could be just like Mousse" he teased and than they proceeded to fill Mousse in on their highly elaborate wedding details just to distract him.
Mousse had been allowed to attend their mutual bachelor party by getting special permission from the bar owner, along with a promise that he wouldn't attempt to order anything containing alcohol. The happy couple had chosen to have this at a local gay bar that featured a drag show called Hags in Heels. The local drag community would pull on their best petticoats and entertain the masses by singing and bumping and grinding to a poppy beat. Mousse had never been to such an event and found it vastly entertaining while he drank iced tea at the table of honour. He had to admit that it was hard to believe that some of the talented performers were actually males, some of them looked so real. Both grooms wore top hats that read 'groom', these elicited many rounds of free drinks from the friendly gay community. They were rather blotto, it was a fun night.
The Mistress of Ceremonies stood up to announce the star performer, her name was Betty Blu and she was impersonating Lucille Ball in I Love Lucy that night. "I hope everyone's having fun and are hot for our featured performer, she currently holds the crown for our Miss Thing contest. Put your hands together for Raunchy Ranko" The stage went dark and a song that Mousse recognized came on. It was "He's a Dream" from the movie Flashdance. Shampoo had gone through a stage where she was in love with this film and had made Mousse watch it with her almost daily.
He watched in surprise as a black silhouette came out dancing in a baggy suit, just as Jennifer Beals had in the movie. Then she stripped down to a short, orange dress and move for move, copied the dance exactly. All Mousse could see when she took that off, was red lingerie, a highly believable voluptuously toned female body and flying red hair. This dancer was something special; he realized and waited for the water splash with bated breath. It came and they all applauded, but then something different happened, suddenly the person on stage had a muscular body, black hair and was obviously male. He grinned at them all, Mousse's eyes widened in recognition and his jaw dropped. Then the figure on stage grabbed a glass of water and threw that over his head, suddenly standing in his place was a beautiful, curvy petit red head who could have been his twin. She finished her dance and bowed when everyone started throwing yen at her, until the damp stage was covered with them. "Thank you so much" her familiar high, clear voice said. "I understand that we have a wedding party with us, I've prepared a special number for them, I just have to nip off and change" she said and then the curtains closed. Mousse imagined that she was quickly gathering up her tips and the stage about to be mopped.
"Isn't she something?" Toshi said puffing alcohol laced breath at Mousse.
"Oh that she certainly is" Mousse said, knowing full well who she was.
"It's hard to believe she's isn't a real woman, but the owner has seen the evidence with his own eyes" Kenji supplied.
Mousse looked up sharply at this "is she gay?" he asked. It was hard for him to picture Ranma being gay.
"No she likes girls, it was that she was too believable when she arrived here a year ago. So the owner smelled a rat, we can't have a real woman perform here; it's not fair to our girls. She volunteered to show him the proof in front of witnesses and sure enough, she's just another drag queen" Toshi said.
"Possibly" Mousse said mysteriously. He was looking forward to confronting the other martial artist to taunt him for his swishy ways. Ranko returned wearing a sparkly, red sequined gown that mimicked a Chinese dress. "Now if the happy couple would join us on the dance floor, I have a song I would like to dedicate to them" she said into the mike.
"Shall we?" Kenji said holding his hand out to Toshi.
"Of course my love" Toshi said and took his partners hand.
Ranma started to sing Cher's 'I saw a Man & He Danced with His Wife' Mousse had to admit that he was impressed, the background music was strictly instrumental, and Ranma was actually singing the song! Her sweet, high voice blended and reached each note perfectly. She sounded like a sweeter version of the normally throaty Cher as Toshi and Kenji held each other tightly while they danced in time with her song, until the last note faded. Then she went to hug and talk to them, they led her back to the table. She stopped short and seemed to go pale when she saw Mousse sitting there.
Mousse studied her, he'd never seen Ranma wearing glitter makeup, red stiletto heels and a tight gown before, but there was no doubt in his mind that this creature before him was the aqua transsexual martial artist he knew. The sheer look of panic on her face at Mousse's discovery gave her away.
Mousse just smirked and said "hello Ranma"