Oh my God this took me so long...
I couldn't find a song for this one for some reason. Nothing just hit as the right one and that messed up my inspiration. I'm sorry. :(
Anyways, here is chapter two of this TWOshot.
Earlier in the evening
You're looking out of the window of our room while I'm still adjusting the cape over my shoulders. I don't know if you can see anything but your own reflection which, I might add, is stunning. Like always.
You are stunning. So many people notice you for your looks which you got from your mother and even I'm still not use to your beauty, your perfection. It's so…intoxicating, in a way.
The cape is still not perfect but I figure no one's going to notice. I never did learn to do this myself and you don't let Gunther in the room anymore to help me either. So I shrug of my slight discomfort and turn away from the mirror.
"You look good," I say and you move your head my way but not your eyes.
"I look like I always do."
"Well then," I reply with a smirk on my face. "You always look good."
Now you turn around completely. There's a little spark in your eyes, a little question on your lips which you never ask. "We should go," you say instead and right on cue, there is a knock on the door.
"Your Majesty, it's time," says Conrad when he opens the door. I feel like whining that I can't spend more alone time with my husband or that I have to dance with so many people until my feet are dying but I don't. I simply smile and nod, leaving the room with you on my heels.
I can almost hear the glare you shoot at Conrad when you pass your older brother. Then there's a chuckle.
Conrad addressing you as "Your Highness" would indeed sound weird. So… formal.
When did I stop asking Conrad to call me Yuuri?
I stop behind the double doors and crook my arm so you can put yours through it. The touch is as light as the weather, not as possessing as it used to be. I steal a glance at you sideways and see the perfect posture, the expression on your face that doesn't give away anything and that the spark that was there for a few seconds is gone again.
You're gone again.
But still, right before they open the doors, you say "Wait" and turn me to face you. You put your hands on my shoulders and for a second I think you're going to kiss me. Like you used to.
You tug at the hem of the cape. "There," you whisper. "Now it's perfect."
And you turn sideways again, linking your arm with mine.
I wouldn't have minded if it hadn't been… if only you would have kissed me.
I watch you leave and my instincts instantly tell me to run after you. You look so hurt, so broken, so lost and I don't even know what I have done. All I have tried to do lately is to be a king you could proudly call your husband.
But when did you change?
I see Conrad leaving the hall and my stomach feels like someone has tied a knot around it. I'm jealous… I want to go after you and lead you into our room and just be with you. With the you that I used to know not even that long ago.
So why don't I? It's not that I'm afraid that you'll yell at me or call me a wimp so that everyone can hear. No, it's the opposite. I'm afraid that you won't do it.
Why are you keeping it all inside, it can't be healthy! Not for you, you don't ever hesitate to let people know how you feel. And, though it might have taken me longer than necessary, that's what I fell in love with. Your perfect honesty that, most of the time, comes to surface during the most inappropriate times. But we need that in this world full of pretenders.
My heart breaks a bit as I take someone's hand to lead them to the dance floor. I know that you have grown out of dragging me away from them by my ear but the hall seems so empty and strange when I don't see your pouting face. Something very important is missing and I'm pretty sure the piece that just broke from my heart is with it.
Although I have to admit I don't know which is worse: you completely gone or the calm look of acceptance that is so unfamiliar to me…
You haven't even called me a wimp in such a long time.
The party continued as if nothing had happened. I don't know if people noticed Wolfram's early departure or not but they didn't seem to care. One after the other the ladies came to me and I danced with each one as if I was still trying to find someone to marry. I smiled and acted like the perfect gentleman I had turned myself into.
But the thing is, I went through that change for Wolfram, not for a chance to impress ladies.
Wow… If someone had told me a few years ago that's the way I would think now, I would've laughed and tried to ignore the smug smile on Wolfram's face. No way, I would have said. If I ever stop embarrassing myself it will because I want a wife. And I'm not in a hurry.
Well, I was married now and no less but to the most beautiful creature on the face of the earth. Who slowly but surely seemed to be falling out of love with me…
Suddenly I noticed that Gwendal was watching me. Probably had since Wolfram had left. The look on his face was unreadable. I could almost identify the big brotherly worry that I saw in Shori's eyes far too often but somehow I thought he also looked impressed. He must have thought that I would dart after the blonde.
As I, somewhere in my heart, knew that I should have.
Something in me snapped. What was I doing?
I didn't remember the name of the lady I was dancing with as I suddenly stopped. She blinked at me but as beautiful as she probably was, all I could master was a small smile before I left her standing there, dumbfounded, and left the hall, all the while feeling Gwendal's stare on my back.
My steps became quicker as I put more distance between me and the hall. I heard blood drumming in my ears as I tried to put together what I wanted to say and do when I found Wolfram. Everything felt like it's the wrong thing to say and I couldn't help but feel helpless. If I didn't really even know what was wrong, how could I fix it?
I clenched my hands into fists. It didn't matter what it was going to take, I would make this right again. For both our sakes.
"But it's not him!"
I stopped dead when I heard Wolfram's voice from our bedroom. The door was ajar, as if it had been slammed shut so hard it had bounced open again. As quietly as possible I made my way to it and didn't even feel bad about eavesdropping.
"He still loves you," I heard Conrad say, as calm as ever.
"I know that!" Wolfram replied angrily. His tone was so familiar, full of that passion that I missed so much. "But it's different, it's like he's completely changed!"
But it's for…
"You both have changed, Wolfram. Who knows, maybe it is for the better."
"It's not! I know I'm not making any sense but I liked him just the way he was! That wimpy, awkward wimp of all wimps…" That's three wimps… "…is the person I fell in love with!"
"Don't say that! This has nothing to do with him growing up! He couldn't have… not so fast…"
I heard Conrad sigh. "Like I said, Wolfram; you have changed, too."
"And why did you change?"
"So isn't it possible he changed for you?"
There was a short, tense silence. I could picture Wolfram opening his mouth a couple of times, not knowing what to say.
Conrad got it right… It was all for him. But what was that about changing for me? I never asked him, to…
But then again, he didn't ask me to change either.
"But…" Wolfram mumbled. "He hates it when I get mad… He hates being called a wimp…" Four… "This is what he wants! He was all that I wanted all along! I thought I made that clear, I didn't give him any reason to stop acting like himself!"
"And what reason did you have?"
"I could see that he wanted it…"
What in the world, Wolfram?
I didn't bother to knock. Wolfram's eyes became wide as plates when he saw me where as Conrad didn't seem surprised at all. He almost looked like he had been expecting me and suddenly I wondered if the door had been left open in purpose.
"Would you excuse us, Conrad?" I asked, my eyes fixed on Wolfram's.
"Certainly, Your Majesty," Conrad said with a little smile on his face. He nodded his head before closing the door behind him.
The room was left in a ringing silence. Wolfram looked at the floor, biting his lower lip and his hands in fists.
"You left the party," he finally said, his voice quiet and politely surprised.
"I did. You wanted me, to."
"You're the king…"
"I'm your husband! You come first!"
You look at me and the look on your face breaks my heart a little more. You look surprised when you're supposed to know this. It is supposed to be obvious! I know I come first with you, I always have!
I always have…
God, I am such a bad person… I'm so stupid and I'm so sorry!
But you're stupid, too.
"We are so weird."
"The way we love each other. It's just weird. But it's our way. Why did we change it?"
Wolfram looked at me like I had suddenly grown a second head. "Why?" he said and his voice was dangerously low.
"You didn't have to say it out loud! The way you act like I'm doing something wrong by getting jealous was all I needed to know you wanted me to be something else!"
He's yelling now.
"But now it's like you don't care! I'm like anyone else to you!"
"You could never be just like anyone else to me!" I replied, my own voice getting louder. "I love you!"
"Then why? It can't just be about growing up and I sure as hell didn't want you to change!"
I wouldn't be surprised if the whole castle was listening now.
"Because you call me a wimp every time I do something wrong! Didn't you want me to be a better king? Wasn't that what it was all about? You wanted to be my husband, not my babysitter!"
"I was always proud of you, you… WIMP! Saving the world is like a hobby to you, you do it every other week! How could I not me proud of you?"
My heart was beating faster but I wasn't sure I was really angry.
"I don't know how else to show that I care…" Wolfram said suddenly, his voice defeated.
Now I get it…
"I know that," I said, realizing it then myself. I did know that. "I just… forgot."
You didn't grow up in a normal family. Your mother might have drowned you in her love but only when she had the time. You know that Gwendal cares but always from a little distance. You are still building up your trust for Conrad… I've only heard you mention your father once and while you respect your uncle, you know he is trying to use you every way he can.
So you became guarded. And when I came into the picture, you were caught off guard. You had no idea how to act, how to make sure I knew that you would always be there.
How could I forget? It was for encouragement, as enraged as it made me when we first started to get to know each other. If you really thought what you said of me, you wouldn't have saved me when I was about to fall from that cliff and you wouldn't have defended me to your uncle when he wanted to make you the king.
You just cared… And you don't see a reason to show that anymore.
"I'm sorry," I finally said.
There was a pregnant pause. "Wimp…"
That was all that needed to close the distance between us and kiss him full on the mouth. He stiffened but then melted and moaned into the kiss. It made me smile.
"You're such a wimp!"
"Don't change that."
"But don't step on my toes while we are dancing either. Or forget to ask me for the first dance."
"Wouldn't dream of it. And you don't have to drag me away from a pretty girl by my ear either, okay?"
"What? You wanna flirt with pretty girls, do you? Want privacy with them? I'm your husband, you wimp, have some respect!"
I couldn't help but laugh as I pulled Wolfram into a hug.
"God, I missed you!" I said into his shoulder.
… "I love you, too."