This fiction is an idea I've had for a while and I thought I'd put it out there and see if there's any interest. Don't expect long chapters, however, as it will be presented mostly as diary entries with some reader reaction from Hermione. Each chapter will contain another diary entry with a corresponding reaction from Hermione. There are some additional chapters after Hermione's finished reading the diary to tie up the fiction nicely.
This story features Fanon Blaise as it was written awhile ago - before we knew what Blaise looked like.
Hope you enjoy it. Let me know if you're interested in seeing more. You may already guess where this is headed, but if you're a romantic sap like me you may enjoy it anyway.
Disclaimer: I can claim no ownership of the people or places in this fiction and make no money from writing this.
Blaise's Diary, Entry One
Such a beautiful spring day and only two weeks until graduation! Hermione was quite proud of her accomplishments during her seven years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She was graduating top of her class and with honors as well. She was looking forward to summer and the holiday to South America that she, Ron and Harry were to take together as a last bit of fun before entering the adult world of jobs and responsibilities. Dumbledore had hired her as the new Arithmancy teacher starting next fall. Life was very good indeed.
She had worked very hard to excel in all her studies. She had pushed aside many other things in her life so that she could focus on doing well and getting high marks. She was grateful that she had made such good friends as Harry and Ron because it seemed difficult to get close to anyone else. She was liked well enough, but most other people considered her too bookish to be any real fun. This did bother her at times, when she took a moment to really think about it. Watching her roommates giggle and laugh about boys, discussing their naughty adventures, Hermione had never had a 'naughty adventure' to share and she would just smile and listen as they prattled on.
She had thought, at one time, that she and Ron had feelings for each other in a more romantic sense, but it never really materialized into anything real and Ron began dating the more adventurous types. Her mother had always told her that there would be plenty of time for men later in her life and that she should not worry about that now. It didn't seem like much of an issue anyway as no boys ever paid her much attention in other than a 'friends' type of way.
So today she strolled out of the castle and into the warm sun, feeling like one part of her life was coming to a close and a new era was beginning. She felt ready for it. Her feet took her towards the glistening waters of the lake and she found her favorite spot under a shady tree. It had been so warm this last week that she had returned here, to this very spot, to enjoy the beauty that was Hogwarts every afternoon for the last five days. It was a bittersweet feeling that would swell her heart. She was very happy to be graduating but at the same time she felt sad that her time here as a student was ending. The fact that she would be returning to teach, however, did placate her somewhat, though she knew it would not be the same.
She sat under the tree with her back against the trunk, her legs stretched out in front of her and crossed at the ankles as she gazed out over the water. It was at this time that her hand fell upon something next to the trunk of the tree she was leaning against. She looked down and noticed it was a book of some sort. Picking up the black leather bound book she read the gold print on the cover which said: BLAISE ZABINI.
She knew who Blaise was of course, everyone did, but she had never spoken to him before. He was one of the Slytherin boys and one who was much sought after. She always heard girls talking about him, drooling over him. His handsome Italian features and buffed body always made the females flutter about when he was near. Hermione never entertained any fantasies about him, however. Why should she? He would never even notice a plain, bookish girl like her.
She flipped open the book thinking that it was probably his homework planner that he had dropped. Her eyes opened wide when she realized that it wasn't a planner at all, but a diary! She slammed it shut and looked around. It would be wrong to read someone else's personal diary, wouldn't it? Perhaps she should just send it back to him by an anonymous owl. Or maybe she should just leave it here and let him return to find it. She tapped her fingers on the cover, thinking about what she should do. A part of her felt tempted, very tempted, to read about the stud of Slytherin. She would bet anything that it would be a juicy read if the rumors about Blaise were true.
"Well, maybe I'll just read a little bit," she thought to herself. She looked around in guilt and saw no one nearby. Then she put the book partially under her robe and opened it to the first page. He had only just started this diary three weeks ago, she noticed. With one last glance around she bent her head and began to read:
"I cannot believe that in just one month I will be graduating from Hogwarts and in all this time I have fallen in love only once. Only one girl fills my mind, my dreams and my heart. I have loved her for seven years. Seven years! But she has never known it. She never watches me as I watch her. She never sits in the back of the classroom just so she could gaze on me as I do her. She does not watch me as I eat, study, and laugh with my friends as I do her. If she looks my way, I quickly turn and she does not know how fast my heart races or how hard she makes me when she passes me by on her way to class.
Why do I fear showing her how I feel? I have had many girls and I have never had problems finding willing ones to bed. Sometimes they slip into my bed in the middle of the night asking me to pleasure them and I do. Sometimes they give me notes asking me to meet with them in the greenhouse, the astronomy tower, empty classrooms and many other places. I always show up to receive their 'gifts' and to give back as well. Sometimes a hand will reach out to me and pull me into an empty room or a closet for a quick shag. It's a pleasant diversion. But it's not her, never the one I really want.
I try not to see any one girl too many times because they become attached to me, expecting me to commit to them or tell them that I have feelings for them. But how can I give my heart to them when it is already given to my true love? I tell them I cannot return their love, that I already love someone else and they become angry at me and ask me who it is that I have given my heart to. I never tell them. I have told no one. They would not believe me if I did tell them, I think. And if I did speak her name to someone and they said something against her, then I would have to hate them.
So many have I given my body to, closing my eyes and pretending it is the one that I want to be with. I imagine my hands tangling in her long hair while I pull her luscious lips to mine, sucking and tasting her mouth and her tongue. I imagine that it is her neck that I am licking and tasting, her body that I take in my hands and worship until she cries out my name.
When the girls pleasure me, I close my eyes again and imagine it is her sweet lips dancing over my body. I imagine it is her sitting on top of me, bringing me to ecstasy.
Then it's over. I open my eyes and my heart sinks because it is not her. It is not the one I love and I feel empty, so empty. Would she hate me if she knew how many others I have had? Would she look on me in disgust and think I'm a slut, a user? She is too good for me, I know this. And that is why I fear her. Because with one look of disgust or dislike, she could devastate me. For seven years I have loved her. Seven years!"
Hermione closed the diary and sat thinking about what she had just read. It surprised her to find out that Blaise was so passionate about one girl. She had always thought of him as a playboy because he had never stuck with any one girl very long. She had no idea that it was because in was in love with someone. Hermione had always thought she was right about her assumptions regarding other people and now she found that she really hadn't pegged Blaise at all. He was so passionate and completely in love with this mystery girl and she wondered who it could be. Her mind began to think of all the girls who were considered 'knock outs' by the guys. She tried to think about which of them had not been known to date Blaise. She was sure that he had been with them all.
'Perhaps if I read a little more I could figure it out,' she thought. Her curiosity got the better of her and she opened the diary to the next entry, finding that his sexual descriptions were exciting her and pulling her back to his words.
A/N: Sappy I know, but I've always imagined Blaise this way. Sorry if it seems Hermione has a low opinion of her own charms. It's part of this particular fiction. Let me know if you want to read more and I'll be happy to comply. Thanks!