A/N: I had a request to do something off of that AWESOME promo for the season finale. That isn't quite what this is, but it sort of is. It will make more sense if you'll read it (which you will.) This didn't take very long to write but I'm proud of it.
Summary: He knew his siren's song was what had called her back. Because they were magnetic. They did have an undeniable pull. She understood.
Disclaimer: I don't own LOST, Chuck, Blair, or Johnny Cash (that will make more sense when you read it.) All rights go to them.
Chuck lost count at two. But if he could guess, he was well past the fifty mark. He felt the signs shaking his body. He felt the ground collide with his back as he collapsed to the ground.
Oh my god.
He's so pale.
Look at his eyes.
But he couldn't hear them. He stared blankly at the clear night, spotted with stars that seemed to be mocking him. He couldn't understand. He had tried to do everything right. He had tried to fix this.
He could remember his esteemed rage and sullen heartbreak. He remembered the straight alcohol hitting the back of his throat.
Maybe he shouldn't have mixed it with those pills.
Not that it mattered anymore.
He tried to look into the eyes of his saviors. For a moment, he thought he saw the descent of midnight curls hovering over his face.
He could almost inhale her scent.
He wished he could open his mouth and voice the actual thing he had thought the moment he had arrived.
You shouldn't have left me.
But then everything went black again.
He was face down on a mattress he didn't immediately recognize. So he just lay there, letting the disconcerting sunlight stream over his body as he stared at the corner of a room he didn't immediately recognize.
And then it all made sense.
Her hand was flat on the side of his face that was open towards the ceiling and he was glad it was. He was glad he could feel her touch again, even if it was only in pity. Because that was the only way she could be here right now. She couldn't be here just to break his heart again. Even if that was to happen no matter what.
"You're burning up."
Her straight bluntness almost made him want to smile because it was good just to hear her light voice again.
No matter what.
He felt her start to withdraw and he couldn't help himself. He felt for the hand that was still on his face and held it there.
Her skin was so close and so sweet smelling that he found it in himself to finally say it out loud.
"You shouldn't have left me."
He blacked out again because if he was going to go, at least the last thing he would hear was the beautiful voice that he missed that night.
"Do you really think this is the healthiest situation?"
"I don't really think it matters what I think right now."
"Of course you would come to him."
"Well what was I supposed to do, Serena?"
"You should have stayed away."
"I didn't want to leave in the first place."
Chuck blinked at the sterile brightness in the room that was starting to look familiar as the even more familiar and angry voices wafted from outside. He listened because he was starting to think he wasn't dead after all.
"Do you think I should just walk away?"
There was a sigh.
"I don't think you even can. You're already in too deep."
Chuck decided he really did know where he was.
It was a scream that woke him up this time. He sat up straight in bed, surprised at his own strength to do so when he was sure it was sapped from him.
Like her love for him was sapped from her.
Maybe this really wasn't the end.
He looked out onto the pristine lawn of Cece's estate where he used to play croquet with Eric. And now he knew why everything here was vaguely familiar.
But what was occurring out on the lawn presently was not familiar.
Chuck really wondered how Jesse had found him. Chuck had been his best customer in the days where he was convinced he was worthless again. And he had been found
His brother did not seem so pleased about that.
Eric was striding across the lawn with confidence and something Chuck could only name as anger, if it wasn't so confusing that Eric was the one showing it.
And then there was a true scream of rage that Chuck immediately recognized as Blair followed in pursuit.
"I thought I told you never to show up here again," Blair warned.
"Chuck?" Jesse called out, actually afraid.
"Get out," Blair snapped.
"He wanted this."
Blair stared coldly at him.
"Well I don't want this."
Chuck opened his eyes in his room at the Hamptons house that he actually remembered now, convinced that he had passed in the night. Because she wouldn't just be sitting there, silhouetted by the sunlight, staring at him with relief in her eyes.
No, there would only be a place for that in heaven.
Then again, Chuck doubted there was a place for him in there anyway.
So he decided to ruin it by saying the one thing he knew that would.
"Where are my pills?"
Blair sighed sadly, never breaking away from his eyes.
"They're gone, Chuck."
He wished he still had enough in him to feel that spark of rage. But he was exhausted. And maybe this wasn't such a bad deal anyway.
"You did it," he inferred.
"You're my friend."
It was the only thing she could say. The only thing that wouldn't pull them deeper.
"You scared me," she finally said.
"Maybe you needed it."
"And what about you?" Blair asked. She paused before the truth revealed itself in her eyes.
Maybe it was all a mistake. "I waited for you on that roof."
"Are you scared, Blair?" Chuck asked.
"Of course I'm scared," Blair replied breathily. "What you did to yourself--"
"What?" she asked hesitantly but they both knew.
"I know you're scared of loving me," Chuck said slowly. "But are you scared of love at all?"
"There isn't a distinction," Blair said. "Because being in love means only being in love with you."
"I want my pills."
"You aren't getting them."
"Then I want you."
"So I'm just a replacement for your narcotics?" Blair smiled weakly. But she knew.
She always knew.
"You know it's the other way around."
"I went up on that roof for you," Blair finally said.
"I tried to get there in time," Chuck answered. "You have to believe me."
Blair just looked at him.
"I tried to get there but you weren't there when I did," he tried again. "And then..."
"I ran away," she whispered. "Did Serena tell you that?"
"I don't know anything," Chuck said. "But I know you're here."
She was smiling in that heartbreaking way and she got up from his bed. And he knew he needed her more than he would ever need those pills.
He leaned his head back against the headboard and closed his eyes. Words formed on his lips. They were the only ones that made sense to him.
"I fell in to the burning ring of fire," he whispered. "I went down, down, down, but the flames went higher."
He didn't register Blair pausing at his door.
"And it burns, burns, burns..." he whispered. He felt the bed dip again. "The ring of fire. The ring of fire."
"Open your eyes, beautiful," Blair said, putting her hand to his forehead. His eyes fluttered open only to be drowned in her dark wells. He reached forward, finally relieved to be able to touch her dark locks.
If only for one more time.
"Yes?" she asked and he knew his siren's song was what had called her back. Because they were magnetic. They did have an undeniable pull. She understood.
"Will you do something for me?"
"I can try."
"Wait for me," he answered.
His body began to crack and bleed black from the flames.
"I've been waiting for you since I was 16."
"It doesn't seem like it," he said with honesty.
"Well I have."
He allowed his eyes to grace her beautiful face.
"When are you going to be my wife?" he asked. Her eyes never wavered.
"I can't bear the thought of losing you again," he said quietly.
"Did you ever think that marriage is not the best way to remedy that?" Blair asked.
"No," Chuck answered bluntly. "This isn't wrong. This is right."
"I know," Blair sighed.
"Do you ever think that?" Chuck asked. "That we're always going to be wrong?"
"No," Blair said. "But now isn't the time."
"When we're not afraid anymore."
"I'm not afraid," Chuck said.
"You're afraid of losing me."
"Aren't you afraid of losing me?" Chuck asked.
"Always," she promised.
"Then that's all I need to know."
Blair nodded and laid down next to him.
She laid with him in The Ring of Fire.