disregard05 asked for Spike, Dawn...and that ugly word, "blackmail". Cuteness and snark.
I went for emotional blackmail, clearly. :D Most of the snark is from Dawn, because post-S5 Spike just isn't that snarky. :( I tried to do this one in exactly one hundred words, so behold!
Word Count: 244

...I'm not quite there yet.


"Please?"

"No!"

"I'll be good. I'll stop talking in teenager to the Bot and everything."

"I said no, Little Bit."

"I promise, if you do this, I'll start doing my schoolwork again. And I'll even tell my friends that they can't come over to ogle you anymore."

"That would be appreciated. But I'm still not going to do it. Stop sulking, you silly bint. You'll get over this soon enough and be begging me to teach you to fight or somethin' equally dangerous."

"Oh! Would you teach me how to fight?"

"…"

"Fine! It's so unfair. You know, I bleached your hair for you last week. And I didn't even tell Willow about how you drove me to the convenience store on Tuesday and nearly ran over that homeless man."

"He was a Kreb'nak demon! And you made me buy you a pair of shoes for that!"

"Whatever. The point is, I do stuff for you all the time. And I want you to teach me one stupid little thing, and you won't even… The thing is, I'm so lonely, all the time, and I know that Buffy would want you to take care of me and help me…"

"Your sister would kill me for it. Hey, don't cry! You're gonna be fine, Niblet, no need to be so upset…oh, bloody hell. Stop that. Please?"

"Spike…"

"Alright, I'll teach you to shoplift, you little bitch."

"Oh, I'm so not the little bitch here."

"Oi!"