A/N: Yes last chapter had depressing end and the beginning of this one is no better. BUT looks like Edward is finally coming around :) hope everything goes well for Christmas!
Haunting Memories and Christmas Trees
He kissed me passionately. I had been wanting this all day. I lifted up his shirt.
"Are you always so pushy?" he laughed.
"Hey! I'm pregnant. I have raging hormones thank you very much!" I smiled and pulled the rest of it off his body.
He was so gorgeous. I could see him much better here. The last time we had been in a dark basement. I took him in. He really was something else. He kissed me and unbuttoned my shirt. I wrapped my hands around his neck enjoying his touch. I loved him. My shirt lay next to me. He kissed my collarbone. It sent shivers down my back. He began unbuttoning my pants.
That's when everything changed. I wasn't looking at Jacob anymore. I was looking into the black menacing eyes of Augustine. The alley folded around me. I felt hands on me and my pants being pulled down. "Stop! Stop! No!" I screamed. The hands let me go and my room came back to life.
Augustine's face disappeared and Jacob's shocked face took its place. "Ness what's wrong?"
Oh no I had yelled at him. He must think I'm crazy. Maybe I was. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I drew my legs to my chest. I was shaking. Flashbacks kept racking my head. I smacked it. I wanted them to go away.
"Hey don't do that." He said taking my hand. "What's wrong baby? Did I do something?" he thought my outburst was his fault.
"No…No….you didn't do anything. He was in my head. I just…can't…" I said. I felt horrible. All I wanted to do was make love to him and I couldn't even freaking do that. Augustine had taken that away from me to. I started to cry. Jacob crawled next to me and took me in his arms. How many times would he have to do this? It seemed like he had to comfort me a lot lately. But I knew he would. He was my knight and shining armor. I felt him kiss my hair and I knew he understood. He wouldn't push me. He would wait till I had put this nightmare behind me.
It was after midnight when I heard the door open. My fathers head peeked in. I was still in Jacob's arms. He was snoring quietly. I, on the other hand, hadn't been able to sleep a wink. I had been trying to get the images out of my head.
"Ness?" He asked quietly.
"Are you okay?"
"No." I sighed. I wanted to talk to him but I didn't want to leave the comfort of Jacob's arms. He heard my thought and came to sit on the edge of my bed.
"I saw it." He whispered.
"The images in your head. They bombarded me the moment I entered the house."
"Oh I didn't know I was projecting them."
"Your ability is getting stronger. You are emotional so it probably just happened." He looked at Jake and smiled slightly. "He really loves you."
"I know." I smiled.
He looked sadly at me. "What that monster did to you….it was….appalling. I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you. I'm sorry for being so stubborn and slow at reacting. If I hadn't done that…you wouldn't be in this predicament. I suppose I'm just glad Jacob was there to take care of it."
"Yeah, he was amazing." I said. "But he can't protect me from myself." I slid out of Jacobs arms to sit up. "It's like I'm living in the nightmares and I can't escape, even when I know he's dead.
"It will be okay Nessie. Things like this take time." he looked like he could jump out of his skin. It's the way Jacob looked every time Augustine was being talked about.
"Oh daddy, I just want it to stop." I cried, crawling into his arms. Right now I didn't feel like a woman that was about to be a mother. I felt like a six year old girl. The six year old girl that I humanly was.
He brushed my hair with his hands. "I know princess. I know. I wish I could make it go away. All I can tell you is that it will fade. All things do with time." He nodded at Jake who was still sleeping. "You have a great guy that loves you and he would do anything for you. I refused to see it before but he does Nessie. You have him to take care of you and I'm here if you need me."
I buried my face into his neck like I did when I was a child. "I love you dad."
"I love you too princess." I knew at that moment that I was forgiven and everything would be okay.
The snow glistened outside. I got out of bed carefully so not to wake Jake. My room was no longer mine. It was ours. All his stuff was here. Well he really didn't have A LOT of stuff but what he did have at Billy's was now here. I sat down at my vanity. My hair was already four inches longer. It was growing along with the twins. Carlisle had found out that they were slowing down though. I guess they wouldn't age quite as quickly as I would. I brushed the knots out of my hair.
I looked in the mirror at Jake lying in bed. We had tried again last night but I was no use. The images still haunted me. But they were growing fainter. He was being very understanding about it. He was so sweet, a real gentlemen. How was I so lucky to have him in my life?
I felt a small punch in my stomach. I rested my hand on it.
"Calm down little ones. Mommy is here." I looked like I was about four or five months along, when in reality I was only ten weeks along. Soon I would be huge. I pouted at the reflection in the mirror but then smiled because I felt another small movement. It really was amazing.
Jake stirred in the bed. I saw him rub his eyes and sit up. When he saw me in my white silk nightgown he smiled.
"Good morning angel."
"Good morning." I laughed.
He threw off the covers and came up behind me, placing his hands on my stomach. "How are daddy's little girls?" he asked
"First off you don't know that they are girls and second…they are fine." I smiled.
He kissed me and pulled some clothes out of the dresser. "Well I'm gonna hit the shower and then I'm meeting your father at Carlisle's."
"Yeah, I will be over there later too. Alice wants me to help decorate the eight Christmas tree's she's having Emmett put up." I said with a laugh. Alice was a little obsessed with holidays and parties.
I watched him leave and continued to brush my hair. I couldn't believe it was already so close to Christmas. This one would be the best yet. I was pregnant and in love. It would be my first Christmas being a mother. Well sort of, considering they weren't born yet.
"How's daddies little girls?" He had said earlier. I wondered why he thought they were girls. I was sure they were boys. I guess we'd just have to wait until they were farther along to tell. A kick broke my concentration.
"Yes mommy is thinking about you." I told them. I was so happy and I knew Jacob was too. He would talk to them and kiss my growing belly every night. He loved them so much. I looked out the window. It was a perfect day for decorating a Christmas tree.
I had grabbed one of the new sweaters that Alice had gotten me, because I was growing out of my clothes, and headed over to the house. The walk was nice, not to cold. I wasn't as susceptible to the cold as normal humans. The snow made a light crunch under my boots. I smiled. The world was quiet and peaceful, and I was enjoying every minute of it.
Alice was directing Emmett when I opened the door.
"Dammit Alice just make up your mind. I'm not a pack mule you know."
"What is the tree to heavy for you?" she teased.
"No, I just don't like hauling these damn trees all around the house just so you can decide you don't like where they are and make me move ALL of them again." He grunted.
"Oh stop being a baby Emmett." She saw me and smiled. "Nessie! How's my favorite niece?"
"Alice I'm your only niece." I laughed. "And I'm good."
"That may be true but even if it wasn't you'd still be my favorite."
"Thanks." I said throwing my bag on the couch. I looked at all the mess of ornaments and ribbons lying all over the room. "Where do I start?"
"You can put up this tree." Emmett offered with a chuckle.
"Absolutely not!" Alice said sternly. "She will not be lifting anything heavier than a pound."
"It was a joke Alice. Only a joke." He said rolling his eyes.
"What should be our tree topper?" Alice asked us. Emmett shrugged.
I picked up a red ribbon laced with gold thread. I tied it into a large bow. "Here." I said handing it to him.
He took it from me and placed it on the very top. "That looks nice. Great work Nessie."
I smiled. "What can I say, I love the holidays."
She smiled. "See she's just like her Aunt Alice."
I sat on the couch sorting out the ribbons. I tied small bows out of the blue, gold and red ribbon. I knew we would have to go upstairs to decorate at least two trees. Alice had really outdone herself this time.
By the end of the day, each of trees in the house was decorated and candles illuminated the house. I sat on the couch exhausted. I heard my fathers laugh outside. He, Jasper, and Jacob had been gone the whole day, hunting or something. When they walked into the house they got quiet.
"Wow. This place looks great." Jasper said.
"Yeah, you weren't kidding when you said Alice wanted to decorate eight trees this year." Jacob laughed. He walked over and slumped down into the couch beside me. "Hey honey." He said kissing me.
My father walked around the tree in the living room. "Whose idea was it to put a bow on the top of the tree?"
"Mine." I piped.
He smiled. "Nice."
"Thanks." I rested my head against Jacob. I had missed him today. You'd think I could spend one lousy day without him, but the truth was I couldn't.
He kissed my head. "You tired?"
"Am I ever? Alice kept me busy all day."
Alice giggled. "I'm sorry Ness."
I smiled and closed my eyes, letting the flicker of the candles fade from view.
When I opened them I was in my own bed. I looked around. Jacob was no where in sight. I sat up. I was about to get out of bed when the vision came crashing in on me.
I was lying on my back on a bed in Carlisle's house. My stomach was swollen beyond a normal amount. Jacob was holding tightly to my hand. My mother and father were standing beside me telling me everything was going to be okay. I was confused. What were they talking about?
Then it all made sense. I felt a horrific pain exploding from my abdomen. I screamed. It felt like there was a large rock pushing its way out of my skin. It wasn't like cramps…or even horrific cramps that I was supposed to be feeling. This was different. It felt like I was being ripped open. The pain intensified and I gripped Jacob's hand with such force my knuckles were turning white. Carlisle came into the room with all these tools and medicines.
He injected me. "I don't know if this will work but it's worth a try." He said.
"Well try away" I managed to say through the pain of the contractions.
He pulled out a large scalpel and a small bone saw that he used for surgery. Jacob's eyes widened. "Hey what are you going to use that for?" he asked, his voice a slightly higher pitch.
"We need to get them out before they suffocate, her body isn't allowing the growth and it's pinching the umbilical cords."
I screamed again as another contraction hit. i felt like my skin was going to split open. I looked down at Carlisle as he prepped me. I didn't feel so well.
"I think I'm going to throw up." I told my mom. She brought over a wastebasket and I threw up into it. My father looked like he was about to lose his mind. He kept pacing and putting his hand to his head.
Carlisle took Jacob aside and whispered to him. Jake nodded and knelt back down next to me. He wiped the sweat from my brow and kissed my cheek.
"You are doing great honey. Everything is going to be fine." He promised. But I felt his anxiety. I looked down at the end of the bed. "Nessie, look at me, you need to keep your eyes on me okay, WE are going to get through this together. What ever happens you keep your eyes on me. Do you understand?" I looked into his beautiful concerned eyes and nodded. He kissed my forehead as more pain racked my body. I squeezed his hand as the sound of the bone saw filled the room.
I sank back into my bed, my heart beating loudly in my chest. The vision scared me. I jumped up and ran out of the room. I ran headlong into Jacob's chest.
He caught me. "Whoa Ness what's the rush?"
"I just had a vision." I breathed.
"What was it?" his voice was full of concern.
He stepped back. "Was it okay?"
"I don't know I didn't get that far into it. But what I saw was awful."
"I'm sorry Nessie."
"It's not your fault. I know I have to go through pain to have them, everyone does. Shit I broke my mothers' ribs and back when I was born."
He cringed. "Oh god I hope that doesn't happen."
"I don't think it will." I assured him. "Where is everyone anyway?"
"Still over at Carlisle's enjoying your and Alice's decorations. Esme was especially pleased."
"Well that's comforting."
"Do you want me to take you back?" He asked.
"No, But I want you to come to bed with me."
"Are you sure you can't read my mind?" he laughed.
I nodded and lead him back to the comforts of my room.