Title: Finn, the fandom bicycle
Author: Me, obviously
Rating: R (for ALL OF THEM)
Characters: Finn/various
Warnings: Sex, SLASH, threesomes
Disclaimer: These characters (though perhaps not in this incarnation) belong to Ryan Murphy and not me. I make no profit off these drabbles o' fun. No copyright infringement is intended.

1. In which Finn thinks about popsicles (Finn/Rachel) R

Sometimes when Rachel sucks him off he thinks about popsicles.

Which really isn't as gross as it sounds.

He really likes the raspberry flavoured ones, maybe because it reminds him of the taste of her lip gloss but whatever.

Sometimes when her lips are wrapped around his cock and she swallows around him, his first and major thought is always "Oh shit" followed closely by "how the fuck does she do that?"

One day he might ask her.

Anyway, so he thinks about popsicles and he wonders if maybe giving a blowjob (a really fucking good blowjob) is a bit like sucking on a popsicle, except with no teeth, because it would seriously fucking hurt a guy's dick if he bit on it like he had his grape popsicle last week.

He should give it a try one day, just to test out his hypothesis (that's a new word he learned in math class, it has something to do with numbers and whatever).

Maybe he'll ask Puck.

2. In which Finn asks Puck for a favour (Finn/Puck – slashy times) – R

So he does ask Puck and surprisingly doesn't end up rolling around in the porter john outside of the football field

He thinks it's kinda important that he doesn't ask puck about it in the showers while they're both naked, though he's never really noticed how totally amazing puck's body is before today. The dude is ripped, like insanely ripped and his ass is just amazing. All hard and curvy. Not like Rachel's.

Anyway, he finally works up the courage to ask him about it while they're walking across the field after practice. Puck just looks at him like he's really contemplating something tough, like when Brittany tried to help him find the denominator for that question in math class.

So when Puck pushes him behind the bleacher he's a little surprised

"You wanna know what it's like, Hudson?"

Puck starts to unzip his pants.


It's doesn't taste like a popsicle at all. And he's never had a popsicle so far down his throat before.

He kinda likes it.

3. In which Finn and Brittany talk about Math (Finn/Brittany) PG-13

It's a Tuesday and he's sitting in Math class and he's not entirely sure what's going on. There's something about a line and like a pie or a pizza or something. So he asks his go-to-math-girl about it.

"Britt, what's Mr. D talking about?"

"Something about rainbows, I think."

"Oh," he looks back down at his notes, "Are you sure? I thought we were learning about pizza or something."

"Oh yeah," she turns her head and her pretty blond hair (which reminds him just a bit of Quinn) hits his shoulder. She gets this really confused look on her face for a minute. Her blue eyes cross a little bit and Finn thinks she looks just a little bit like that cross-eyed kid from that t.v. show, except kinda hotter (her boobs are bigger than Quinns, and bigger than Rachel's, and he's seen what she can do with her legs in Glee practice – brings it over her head then bends it like a fucking pretzel. Mmmmmm, he loves pretzels).

"I like pizza," she says.

"I like pretzels." Shit. Did he just say that out loud?

4. In which Finn reveals a secret (or does he?) (Finn/Rachel) R

"I gave Puck a blowjob the other day." It fucking slips out of him.

He fully expects her to be mad. Like really pissed at him. But he's just incapable of keeping secrets.

She looks at him a little bit weird, like her boyfriend isn't supposed to be giving blowjobs to other boys, and yeah, he guesses that's a little bit weird. Except not for Kurt, who can give boys blowjobs whenever he wants cause that's expected of him.

She pulls her mouth off him and it makes that awesome popping sound as his cock falls out of her mouth still hard. Fuck, why couldn't he have kept his mouth shut. She's never going to finish him off now and he's going to get blue balls and die. And fuck.

"Yeah, Puck might have mentioned it to me. Did you use your hand like I told you? Because not everyone can deep throat like I can?"

"Yeah, I did. Wait, when did Puck mention it to you?"

She blushes and suctions her lips over him again.

He forgets what they were talking about in the haze of popsicle glory in his head.

5. In which Finn confronts Puck (Finn/Puck) – R

He confronts Puck about it the next day. Pushing him into an empty classroom.

"How exactly did Rachel find out that I gave you a BJ?"

Puck stops and turns to him. "It might have come up." Puck chuckles to himself, and Finn finds a brief smile on his face to cause Puck just said "come" and that's pretty funny. Like that song he learned in kindergarten about Uncle Ugbee's underwear.

Thinking back that song was kinda fucked up.

"Come up when?"

"Maybe while Rachel was giving me head." Finn doesn't really know whether he should be upset or not, but he doesn't feel mad or anything. Not like he was when Puck had lied about fucking Quinn.

The only thing he really wants to know falls from his mouth here: "How do I stack up?"

Puck smirks and bites his lip and fuck, he's really... what's the word for it, because it's more than sexy it's like... he's a fucking magnet and Finn can't stay away.

He's never kissed another dude before, but he's pretty sure that he'd be good at it. So he leans forward and bends down (not as far as he has to with Rachel which is kinda nice, it doesn't hurt his back or anything). Puck's lips are firm, almost hard, but still, it feels good. He can feel the stubble of Puck's would-be beard on his upper lip and it scratches him just a bit.

Puck's tongue tastes a bit like smoke and raspberry, which makes Finn wonder where the raspberries came from 'cause they're not in season.

6. In which Finn runs into Terri Schuester while being a good boy (Finn/Terri, Mrs. Hudson) R

He's at the grocery store with his mom when Teri Schuester comes in, with a little bag under her arm, like she's trying to be environmentally conscious or whatever.

She goes straight to the fruits and vegetables – they call that the production section or something right? – and starts to like smell everything. She's wearing these super tight pants and he's pretty sure she's not wearing any underwear cause they're practically painted on and he's pretty sure that he'd be able to see lines and there are no –

"Finn?" She's talking to him in that high pitched voice and he's so glad that he wore baggy jeans today, because it would be pretty difficult to explain his semi-harden cock to the school nurse. Former school nurse.

"Mrs. Schuester, shit, are you still Mrs. Schuester? Should I call you something else?" Just like that he's standing in front of her with his mom on the other side of the store and a harsh boner and the image of Mr. Schue and Ms. P making out in the choir room the other day running through his head.

"Terri's fine."

They stand in awkward silence for a minute and it looks like she just might say something else, like ask him a question or something. But she doesn't. She just turns half away from him picking up a pack of bananas before she says a polite, "It was good to see you, Finn," like she wasn't the woman who was going to take care of his baby, when he thought it was his baby.

"You too, Terri." Fuck. Life is sure complicated, he thinks as he waddles carefully to the milk aisle.

7. Two guys, a girl and a movie theatre (Finn/Rachel/Puck) R

So Finn is pretty pleased when Puck finally convinces Rachel to take them both at once. It's in a movie theatre. Puck was smart enough to suggest sitting in the back row and really there's no one there from their school (mostly cause he insisted they go out of Lima).

The movie sucks ass. Like a lot. It's some kind of really corny chick flick, but like a really bad one. With super bad acting and like ice skating. Finn doesn't skate. He finds the whole balance on ice thing too much for him. He has a hard enough time with the right left thing on solid ground. He thinks adding slip and slide to it would be pretty awful.

Midway through the movie Rachel pushes off her chair and onto the ground. He's got it in his head to tell her she doesn't know what's been on that floor (his mom's friend used to work at a movie theatre and told him all about the vomit and beer and cotton candy and shit that gets stuck there) but she unzips his fly, and Puck's at the same time. She pulls out both of their cocks and Finn's not ashamed to say that his eyes do a little mini comparison. Well, it's a full comparison but the theatre's dark and shit.

Puck is thicker than he is, he's already studied this. And Puck is circumcised, while he is not. But really, Finn has length on his side, and he's not that much narrower. And some girls can't take the super thick cock. Well, Rachel's mouth is huge, so she probably could, and holy fuck. Her hand is wrapped around him and he's watching her other hand wrapped around Puck's cock and it's fucking brilliant the way she slides down on him then slides up on Puck at the same time. He can almost imagine that he's fucking Puck. And damn...

He blows his fucking load on the back of the chair in front and Rachel's hand but he wants nothing more than to kiss Puck right now.

He leans his head back and waits about five seconds before Puck does the same.

His girlfriend is fucking awesome.

8. In which Finn hears about a game of dodgeball (Finn, Rachel/Puck) PG

Finn doesn't actually see it, not really, but he hears about it second hand.

Puck and Rachel have gym at the same time every week, but are in different classes.

One particular Tuesday it rains, and the classes get together to play dodgeball. Dodgeball. Where the only rule is that you dodge.

Finn hears that somehow Puck and Rachel end up on the same team. And Rachel's pretty fucking competitive when it comes down to it and her aim is not bad. She takes out a huge chunk of the other team before anyone even realizes that she's the one throwing the balls and all.

Supposedly some douches from the other team start to gang up on her and Puckerman like protects her or something. He's standing in front of her, blocking balls, catching them. He and Rachel end up being the last two people standing, the winners. They must hug or something, or have some kind of moment because it's all anyone will talk about now.

Oh my God, did you hear about Puck and Rachel? They're totally fucking!

9. In which Finn hears that Artie has a monster in his pants! (Finn/Artie?, Santana/Artie?) PG

For Kat:

English is the one class he shares with Santana. Not that she ever talks to him or anything, but she's there and she sits behind him so sometimes he overhears things she shares with the girl (he can't even remember her name) who sits beside her.

Normally she talks about boring shit like some dude named Fitzgerald and how he was like "integral" (which he thinks has something to do with math, but he's not sure) to early American Literature of the twentieth century. He wonders if maybe Santana is more book smart than she lets on.

But some days she talks about interesting stuff like this time she started talking about how Puck really liked bondage, and Finn really wanted to ask what that was all about, but he didn't have to. "Puck likes handcuffs and blindfolds, but Artie, Artie doesn't need any of that. Girl, I swear," (maybe Santana can't remember her name either, he thinks), "that boy has a monster in his pants. It was epic. Best part of my week."

They start to whisper after that.

Finn will have to ask him about that because it can't be too healthy to keep a monster in your pants. It would be decidedly dangerous.

10. In which Finn talks to Rachel about Puck (Finn/Rachel, Puck/Rachel) R

Finn decides to ask Rachel about Puck on a Thursday night. In her bedroom. With her half naked on top of him.

"Hey Rach," he kisses her softly, hands exploring the wonderful curves of her body, "is Puck in love with you?"

She sits up abruptly which is okay by him because it gives him a great look at her boobs and they are pretty awesome. Kinda on the small side, but they're perky and the tips are this cool dusty pink colour, so he lets his hands travel along her body until they touch her boobs. Heh, boobs is a funny word anyway. He wonders who came up with that one.

She still hasn't said anything, and maybe he's kinda worried, because if a stud like Puck is in love with her (with his cock being all thick and awesome like it is) what kind of chance does he stand?

"It's okay if he is. I mean, who wouldn't be in love with you. You're awesome." He wonders if this means that he's in love with Rachel. Maybe it does. Maybe that's not such a scary thought. Hmmm...

She leans down and rubs her upper body against him, licking the seam of his lips and he forgets what he was asking her about altogether.


11. In which Finn runs into Tina unexpectedly (Finn, Tina, Finn's hygienist) R

He sees Tina while he's in the waiting room at the dentist's office.

It's weird cause he's never really thought that much about her before, except for that time Rachel totally felt her up in that song they sang that one time, and that time she sang that "True colours" song. Damn her voice is pretty. She's pretty too. Sure normally she wears weird eye makeup and it's like super heavy and he normally prefers a more natural look. But she's pretty and she's got decent sized boobs. Not that he's spent a lot of time looking at them (but he fucking is now).

She's leaning over the counter talking quietly to the receptionist (he doesn't think she's stuttering which is different), and her skirt is nearly as short as Rachel's but she wears these heavy tights under them. Whatever, it's still hot.

Sometimes he wonders if Tina and Artie are into the kinky stuff. Like wheelchair sex. And how exactly would someone have wheelchair sex. Can you remove the arms to his chair? And if so, why don't they come off when he and Puck are lifting Artie up the stairs in the auditorium?

But back to the wheelchair sex. Maybe he puts his breaks on first. There's not a lot of room there, even though Artie's a slim kind of guy, so he's pretty sure Tina can't, like kneel or anything.

Oh, fuck.

Tina. Kneeling. On her knees. In front of him.

He wonders if she knows how to deepthroat like Rachel.

"H-H-H-H-Hi Finn." She sits down beside him. Fuck he's hard.

"Finn Hudson." Thank god it's a dude that calls his name. A really buff looking dude. With totally ripped arms, wearing classy blue scrubs and a cute little mask. Damn, he has a problem.

"Talk to you later, Tina!" He rushes into the examination room with his hygienist.

12. In which Finn Hudson gets a little help from his friends (Finn, Puck, Finn/Santana) R

Puck suggests that Finn appreciate some tutoring from Santana. So Finn calls and sets up an appointment.

Since Santana took over Quinn's duties as head Cheerio, her social calendar (he assumes) has been pretty full (not that he really knows what a social calendar is all about but whatever). He's going over to her house for a study date on Thursday. The fact that they only have English together makes this a little more believable because even though he speaks American, his English isn't very good at all.

He knocks when he gets to her door and she wastes no time getting him inside and upstairs (and undressed for some reason, which doesn't seem to have anything to do with English at all). It isn't until she's ripping his boxers from his body with her teeth that he really thinks about what Puck meant.

Oh fuck!

13. The Prelude (Finn/Rachel/Puck) - SLASHY WARNING

Rachel has decided that she's ready to have sex.

With him.

And Puck.

At the same time.

And really, Finn is not one for logistics or like battle strategies (which is probably why his Call of Duty score hasn't improved of late), so he leaves most of the planning stuff to Rachel and Puck, assuring them both (one afternoon in the supply closet) that he'll be there.

One thing he has learned in their study sessions in the library, or the music room, or the supply closet, is that his girl likes to watch. And he's okay with that.

Sometimes it's nice when he and Puck get to make out. Different because he doesn't have to be careful with Puck, and Puck sure as shit isn't careful with him (one particular day he grabs on to Puck's ass because it's just so perfectly rounded he can't help himself, and Rachel gasps in the corner of the room, sliding her fingers under her skirt).

He and Puck haven't had sex yet, because he's still a little bit weirded out by sticking his dick in some guy's ass, even if it's Puck's superly hot amazing ass. So they mostly jerk each other off (except for that one time their cocks did all the rubbing which was awesome, hips pressing down on hips).

He knows that Puck and Rachel have used some toys but he doesn't think that Puck's ever really fucked her either.

He looks forward to that night.

14. The Main Event (Finn/Rachel/Puck in various combinations) - SLASHY WARNING

And it arrives.

The text, my house, eight o'clock, bring coffee.

He takes her literally and stops at the Java Hut on the way to her house. He grabs her a Non-fat Carmel Macchiato and Puck an Irish Coffee (no Baileys). He buys a large coffee, two sugars, for himself (he's a pretty low maintenance kind of guy).

They don't drink any of them.

The coffee goes stale in a twist of tangled limbs, with his lips on Puck's shoulder and Puck's lips on Rachel's - he doesn't want to say pussy, but lady parts seem too grade school for him. It's fucking beautiful. The symmetry of them.

Puck has thought to bring condoms and warms Rachel up all the way using his tongue against her to fascinate Finn (make him want to learn). When he slips into Rachel for the first time she doesn't cry, she doesn't break around him. It's lovely and warm and Puck is there beside them, watching and giving instructions (brushing his lips over both of them when he wants to): "Harder, right there. Touch him here. Move your legs up. Press down lightly there."

He makes sure that when she comes (and she does because Rachel has been planning this forever) that it's to the whisper of two voices in her ears, to two sets of hands on her body and two mouths against her.

He also makes sure that his hand guides Rachel's as they jerk Puck to the finish as well.

When he wakes up the next morning, Rachel is almost screaming and Puck is sliding deep inside her, his morning wood self-destructs with barely a touch of his hand messing up the sheets, but he continues to watch. Hypnotized by Puck's cock slipping in and out of Rachel and the sounds she makes each time it does.

She lasts until Finn leans over and presses a wet kiss on an already hard nipple, then cries out a stream of sounds that might be NoahFinnNoahFinn, but he doesn't really know.

15. Three Distinct Flavours (Finn/Rachel/Puck) PG

Sometimes Finn wonders if he really can be in love with two people at once. He knows that sometimes Puck and Rachel do their own thing without him, just like sometimes he and Puck meet up in the locker room showers for a quick rub down after games, or like he and Rachel do in the music room sometimes after Glee.

He never really seems to feel jealous of them, and he thinks maybe that's what it's all about. He isn't jealous because he loves them both – equally. Like neopolitan ice cream. He thinks that maybe he's the strawberry, while Puck is the chocolate and Rachel is the vanilla. And see, the chocolate and vanilla go together great, and the strawberry and vanilla are yummy, but putting all three flavours together is what makes neopolitan ice cream really wonderful.

The strawberry and chocolate go together well, too.

16. Ménage à Quatre? (Finn/Puck, Brittany/Santana) R, for kitty cat rated sexy times.

Rachel is away for the week visiting her dad's parents in Cleveland, but before she left she gave the boys her blessing. So Finn texts her phone when he overhears some interesting information from Brittany during math class.

She texts back: Have a good time. Look but don't touch.

He and Puck find a spot hidden in the janitor's closet, where they know the couple often use as their secret meeting spot. And maybe they make out a little bit while they're waiting.

Puck is a really awesome kisser. Like really awesome.

Anyway, when the door opens and the girls turn on light, Puck and Finn break apart (and Finn's already half hard so this covert meeting is bound to be easy peasy).

Brittany and Santana rush in quickly, their short Cheerio skirts flowing around their hips. Brittany takes the lead one hand cupping Santana's cheek while the other dips under the slits in her skirt to rest along her hip.

The noises Santana makes when Britt's fingers slip under her spanks are enough to have Finn struggling for breath (he's so fucking hard). The noise of the girls moving around the small space, giggling and kissing and touching, drowns out the sound of Puck unzipping Finn's pants.

Puck's palm is damp with sweat, so when it sinks into his boxers and Puck's fingers tighten around his cock, his hips jerk forward automatically and he groans.

The girls stop kissing and Puck's free hand clamps over Finn's mouth.

"We know you're here," Santana whispers into the room, a few feet away from their hiding space behind the brooms.

"We don't mind," Brittany chimes in. "But we like to watch, too."

Puck's hand squeezes around Finn's cock and he comes hard.

17. Italian food and the back seat of his car (Finn/Rachel) R

disclaimer: sarah does not belong to me but to ohladybegood , but her soccer coach does. ;)

He takes Rachel out when she gets back from Cleveland. They go for dinner to this Italian place he's heard about from Puck's mom – who for some reason is way more in the know than his mom is. Maybe it has something to do with Sarah's soccer coach or something. That dude is pretty hot.

(He's pretty sure that Mrs. P knows that Finn and Puck are back to being best friends, but he doubts that she knows that he fucked Puck on their kitchen floor the other day.)

After dinner he and Rachel fuck in the back seat of his car, and it's so quiet. The slide of bodies, the slick, squishy sounds their bodies make as they come together. He loves it. Maybe because he loves her.

So he tells her. Still inside her, pushing his weight up onto his arms, looking down at her, he says the words he's been too afraid to say to this point.

She smiles and says, "I love you, too."

18. More Than Words (Finn, Puck/Rachel) PG - NON-SLASHY

When he sees Puck and Rachel together in the hallway on Monday morning he smiles to himself.

They're both so beautiful. Like one of those paintings they have up in the museum. Their heads pressed together, their eyes closed, like all they need (really need) is each other. And when Puck's lips cover Rachel's, it's magic.

He can practically feel the sparklers from his spot across the hall (like in that movie with the figure skating and whatever that Sarah loves).

He watches Rachel break her lips from Puck's (and can practically taste the strawberry lip gloss he knows she's wearing today) and whisper something into his ear. Puck's hips press into hers and Finn knows exactly what she's said.

He walks by them to class with a smile on his face. They don't have any secrets from each other.

19. Rachel, Santana and WOW: the set up (Finn, Rachel, Santana) PG

Rachel whispers into his ear during glee practice and it blows his mind. Really wide. Like the Grand Canyon takes residence in his head.

Because it's Rachel. And Rachel and Santana. And wow. Just wow.

Apparently, and this is another story he hears second hand, Rachel cornered Santana after she met with Coach Sylvester. Something about tanning or like dry cleaning was mentioned. But it ends with Santana practically in tears, and Rachel trying her best to be persuasive. And Rachel can be super persuasive. He knows.

He guesses that Santana still called Rachel some interesting names, but Rachel refused to take offence, because when his girl gets a thought into her head she's a fucking pitbull (like the dude that sang that "calle ocho" song…. "I know you want me, you know I want you…"). She doesn't give up no matter what.

And so Santana agrees.


20. Education in the storage closet (Finn/Santana/Rachel) RRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

So when Rachel drags him into the storage closet he caught San and Brit in only a few weeks earlier he's pretty freaking psyched. Like insanely so.

And when Santana walks in, closing the door quietly behind her before directing him on how to touch (Not there, you moron, harder here), where to kiss (Tongue her there. Not there, dumbass, here!), and what to do (lift up our skirts, obviously and put your hand and mouth to work simultaneously).

While his hands are up the girls' skirts fingers sliding in tandem over slippery clits, he looks up and sees that his girlfriend's mouth is extremely close to Santana's. He almost stops moving his hands (stops the breathy sounds coming from both their mouths) when he hears Rachel whisper, "Do you mind?" as her gaze flits down to Santana's mouth.

Santana smiles only for a second before Rachel's mouth covers hers lightly (reminding Finn of their first kiss, Rachel and his first kiss, not Santana and his). Rachel pulls on Santana's bottom lip with her teeth before Finn sinks his fingers inside them both deep (Rachel's tighter than Santana, but Santana's so wet, she's practically a faucet). He curves the his fingers in toward his palm a dozen times, rubbing them together, pressing quick kisses on their abdomens (covered in cloth) before Santana comes on his hand silently her teeth scraping at her lip, her breath shaking out.

Rachel, his girl, takes a bit more finesse. He continues to curve his fingers into her, but stands up, and kisses a line along her neck, stopping at the spot he knows she loves, and Santana comes to join him. He hears it as his eyes and lips are otherwise occupied. And Rachel is on the edge, the very edge, and he can push her over it if he wants.

But he doesn't have to.

Santana's hand slides down his arm and up his hand until her fingers (two slender Latina fingers) are deep inside his girlfriend, too.

That's all it takes for him to blow his load, and for Rachel to flood on them.

Santana pulls her hand away and readjusts herself while he and Rachel hold on to each other and try to catch their breath.

She swipes her fingers, the ones still wet from Rachel along her lips, adding a soft sheen, then slides her tongue out to taste just the tips.

"Well, this was educational. Same time next week?" She smirks at them both.

21. The Talk - part one (Finn, Mrs. Hudson, mentions of FRP and Q) R-ish

His mom is not the most up to the minute kind of person. So when she decides to sit him down and have the sex talk it's already too late. Well, that's not entirely true. When she sits him down for the sex talk the first time he's a freshman and doesn't really understand what she's talking about when she says that when two people are in love sometimes there's like a garden that they water together or something. Come to think of it, it still doesn't make a whole lot of sense to him.

Anyway, when they have the sex talk the second time it's already too late (or so she thinks because of Quinn).

The third time (and this is the one that's really too late, while the other's were too early) is after he and Rachel (and Puck) have been dating for four months. She tries to talk to him about the birds and the bees but he gets really confused when she starts talking about apples and oranges and flowers again. Like pollination and stuff. He doesn't get that at all.

Anyway, he's too good a son to tell her that he fucked Rachel against her drawers just the other day. Besides he and Puck had the real sex talk a long time ago.

22. The Real Sex Talk (Puck and Finn) PG

"Dude, have you ever had sex?"

"No, have you?"

"Of course. I did it with Mary Masterson's older sister, Libby, just the other day. It was epic."

"What did you have to do?"

"Well, first you've gotta get naked. And you get the chick naked too."


"Yeah, then you lie down on the bed and the chick does most of the work. Libby made me wear this like glove thing she called a condom, said it was to make sure that we didn't like make a kid or something."

"Cool. Was it like good?"

"Sure, it was great. I mean, it's pretty weird that girls like to impale themselves on our dicks and stuff, but it felt pretty amazing and I got to come inside her, which was also pretty cool. Girls are super hot down there, and like wet, and kinda hairy. But Libby kissed me a bit and she told me some really dirty things. That part was maybe my favourite."

"What kinds of dirty things?"

"Well Finn…. First, she…."

23. First Disagreement (Finn, Puck, mentions of other characters) PG

It's funny 'cause Finn really thinks it's harmless, but Puck obviously doesn't. Puck's like unnaturally pissed and he really shouldn't be.

"Dude, why are you so pissed about this?" He's just waiting for Puck to say something stupid like he's not. Finn is not disappointed.

"I'm not."

"The hell you're not!"

Puck's really quiet for a minute. Smashing his lips together thoughtfully. "Dude, seriously, it's nothing."

This is his first mistake with Puck. "She's the head cheerleader and I'm the quarterback, it's like expected! Plus she's nice and pretty."

"Whatever man, I'll talk to you later." Puck slams his locker shut. Finn watches him leave.

24. In which Finn starts to suspect that Quinn is a cheating w****! (PG)

For B1:

He starts to suspect that Quinn is cheating after they've been dating for a few months. It's July, and the sun is shining and bright. Quinn hasn't even let him touch her waist (when they kiss - and nine times out of ten it's him doing the kissing and Quinn letting him – his hands are on the chair or on the cushion or anywhere but on her body). And lately when they're together she's been… meaner than usual (like yelling at him and telling him that he's stupid and stuff). And he doesn't need that.

They're sitting outside her feet are dangling in the backyard pool (hers not his). She's wearing a really hot bikini, but he almost wonders if she's wearing it for him or someone else.

Then he sees it. Tell tale finger bruises just above her hips.

It becomes more that just a suspicion, but when she kisses him later that afternoon (when he doesn't have to make the first move for the first time in their relationship) he lets it go. She's chosen him for now. Maybe that's enough.

25. In which Finn watches, cause he likes to watch (Finn, Will/Emma)

For Steph:

He's left his backpack in the rehearsal room after Glee. He doesn't remember it until he's already half way to his car after school, maybe he gets a little distracted by some threeway sexts from two of his favourite people, but whatever.

He almost stops and turns around when he's halfway there (does he really need his homework? He's totally not going to do it anyway), but he hears the piano and he's pretty sure that Tinkles has already gone home (maybe his name is like Brad or something, honestly, Finn can't ever remember). So that's kinda weird, but the music sounds good, so he keeps walking.

He peers through the window and sees a head of orange red hair, next to a head of curly brown, their hands (most of them at least) drag along the keys. But the music stops abruptly and Finn notices where Mr. Schue's fingers are, trailing up underneath Ms. P's skirt. He feels just a little bit dirty, but whatever, he keeps watching ('cause it's kinda like a car crash, you can't take your eyes away).

Besides, it's not like he hasn't seen it all before (maybe just not Ms. P's "all" but whatever, he's up for new experiences).

When they're done (and his cheeks are flushed) he waits a few minutes before opening the door.

"Hey, Mr. Schue, I… uh… just forgot my bag." He grabs it, refusing to look at Ms. Pillsbury because he's gonna have a hard time not looking at her boobs now.

He texts Puck and Rachel as soon as he gets back out to the car (a huge smile on his face).

26. In which Finn gets Mike Chang's favourite song to play on Rachel's stereo (SLASHY OVERTONES!) PG

They're all sitting in Puck's room listening to Mike Chang's favourite song of the moment (which is some kind of techno beat from Europe). It gives Finn a bit of a headache, but Rachel likes it and wants to add it to her workout mix so they're listening to it from start to finish.

He likes to watch Rachel work out (likes to see her sweat even more).

This is maybe what he likes best about being in a relationship with two people at the same time (not just the sex – which is fucking phenomenal). He always has someone to do stuff with. Like this. Just sitting in her room listening to a song.

Puck has his guitar out and is strumming along (and scribbling stuff down, which is weird).

Finn has actually taken out his math book, because he's got to learn it sometime, and Rachel makes tutoring f-u-n (and clothing optional – with rewards when he gets an answer correct).

When the song ends, Rachel asks, "Finn, this song is technically brilliant. The chords and transitions are flawless. I love it. How did you find it?"

He smirks (and has a little bit of a flashback of a dark classroom and his hands running along hairless oriental skin). "Don't ask!"

27. In which Finn and Kurt get detention (PG) - not really slashy at all

He doesn't exactly know how it happens (that's not entirely true, he knows exactly how it happens but he doesn't want to talk about it) but he ends up in detention with Kurt on a Wednesday afternoon. Kurt is actually already sitting at one of the tables and there are a few other people in the room already and Kurt is really the only person he knows and Finn guesses that they're kind of friends. Sort of.

So he doesn't sit at the table with Kurt, but at the table beside Kurt.

They spend the hour doing homework and talking about Finn's moisturizing rituals (he has none and Kurt suggests he start because your skin needs to last your entire lifetime).

For a while Finn thinks that Kurt is flirting with him, which makes him a little uncomfortable (he's already seeing two people and to be honest he just doesn't think of Kurt that way, it's a little creepy).

At the end of the hour Kurt walks him out to his car.

"So what were you in detention for anyway?"

"I…. uh…. Didn't have detention." Finn looks at Kurt, didn't have detention.

"Then what were you doing there?"

"I have to go. See you tomorrow." Kurt practically runs away, leaving Finn beside his car wondering what the hell is going on.

28. In which Finn finds out that Mercedes Jones knows EVERYTHING (PG-13)

Finn doesn't exactly know how Mercedes finds out about him and Rachel and Puck. And Santana. And Brittany. But mostly him and Rachel and Puck.

Come to think of it, Puck did have that project with her or whatever for History. And the last time Puck and Mercedes were in the same room there some shit got spilled.

Anyway he knows because Mercedes comes up to him during Glee (with Rachel and Puck standing on the other side of the room) and she whispers into his ear, "who's better at oral?" And he blushes.

He's seen (and done) some pretty graphic things. Hanging around Puckerman is bound to bring up some interesting images… but somehow Mercedes' candor (what? It's from Rachel's word of the day calendar) is more embarrassing than all of that.

"Rachel," the word slips through his lips before he can do anything to stop it.

Mercedes smirks and flips her hair, flashing the large gold hoops at him before turning to Mr. Schue who starts the practice.

29. The Challenge (sexy boy-on-boy times - Puck/Finn - NC-17)

There's a knock at the door that night.

Luckily his mom is working the night shift at the restaurant so he has the house to himself because he seriously doubts that the boy on the other side of the door with his Mohawk and slick expression cares at all about proper guest etiquette (Rachel texts him the word of the day every morning).

"So a little birdy tells me that you think Rachel's better at fellatio than I am," Puck smiles at him and it's corny but he feels his knees get a little bit weak, because sexual terminology was one of the first things he mastered off Rach's vocabulary list. And the idea of having Puck on his cock is hugely arousing.

He seriously can't say anything, not a single word as Puck pushes through the door and pulls Finn by his hand into the living room.

He's pushed into the cushions so that his hips are barely on the sofa and Puck's hands are on the zipper of his jeans before he can even blink. The sound of the prongs unlatching is the best kind of music, well almost.

And when Puck finally does take Finn's cock into his mouth, Finn sees multicoloured stars behind his eyes. Rachel can take him so deep into her mouth, Puck can't get – oh fuck – can't… shit… Rachel never does that with her teeth, oh God. It's so…. It's right on the edge of pain and Puck's tongue is running along the vein and he's sucking so fucking hard.

Finn's fingers come up to Puck's Mohawk, pushing his head down further, as Finn's hips shift up and he comes hot and dirty with his eyes open. Watching as Puck swallows over and over and over again, then swirls his tongue over Finn's erection until he pulls off the tip with a pop (like those damn popsicles).

Puck tucks Finn back into his pants and zips them up quickly before sitting down beside him on the couch.

Finn wants to kiss him, so he does (he can taste himself there, which is both super hot and kinda gross at the same time). When he breaks away, Finn asks, "Wanna play Call of Duty?"

"Sure, man." Puck grabs both controllers and the boys start to play the game.

30. Fluffy, Sappy Finn waxes on about his two best friends (Finn/Rachel/Puck, PG-13)

Everyone knows that they're "dating" or "whatever." Well, everyone in Glee anyway. And no one seems to really care when Puck puts his hand on Rachel's arm and Finn puts his arm around Rachel's waist. Even when Puck and Finn's fingers lock for just a minute during practice no one says anything.

Even when the boys each grab one of Rachel's hands during their five minute break and she pulls them out of the room (because his girl is nothing if not self-guided). They spend their five minutes resting their voices and stretching their mouths in a variety of ways.

Their relationship isn't all sex (though the sex is fantastic and frequent). Sometimes they sit and work on homework together, though Rachel refuses to be their partners for Science experiments and stuff (she says something about having to do all the work or whatever. Finn doesn't really understand Science at all). Sometimes they sit in the music room and Puck plays the guitar and Finn plays the drums and Rachel sits at the piano and tinkles on the keys. A "jam session" Puck says later (when his hands are on Finn's body and Finn is working on removing Rachel's top).

Most days when he looks at his two best friends and he thinks that maybe being a little bit in love with them both is pretty awesome.

31. Things Finn Hudson has learned through these drabbles:

Rachel is really good at giving blowjobs.

Puck always rises to a challenge. Do not tell him he can't do something or he will go out of his way to do it and do it SO EXTREMELY WELL.

Having a girlfriend who is okay with him giving BJ's to other boys is awesome (as long as the boy is Puck).

Kissing a dude is not like kissing a girl.

Blowjobs are not much like popsicles.

Brittany likes pizza.

Terri Schuester is hot, but crazy.

Movie theatres are epic.

Artie has a monster in his pants. For real.

The perfect time to ask his girlfriend if his best friend is in love with her is while she's going down on hiim. He'll never remember her answer no matter how hard he tries.

Tina is hot.

When sleeping with Santana remember to suit up. But when his girlfriend asks Santana to join in the party don't say no.

Having a girlfriend who is okay with his voyeuristic tendencies is pretty amazing. Having that girlfriend be the vanilla to his strawberry and Puck's chocolate makes for a delicious after school treat.

The sex talk at any age is awkward.

It's hard to look away when the guidance counselor is naked in front of him.

Being in love with his two best friends is pretty amazing.