The Land of Heaven
(A Heaven Country rewrite)
Chapter 1: Ghost of the Past
Summary: Tenten is not the orphaned girl everyone thinks she is. She's actually from a prestigious clan, and hails from the legendary Ryogakure of the Land of Heaven. She ran away because her father wouldn't let her become a ninja, as was the clan rules with women. Now her best friend from Ryogakure has come to get her after eleven years, and she has no choice but to go back. What will her friends think? Will she reveal her secret at all? Takes place in Shippuden, before Jiraiya goes off and dies. NejiTen, ShikaTema.
Disclaimer: Don't own.
"Soshoryu!" A brunette girl with her hair in two buns shouted as she jumped into the air, twin scrolls twisting around her.
"Kaiten!" A dark-haired boy shouted in response.
The brunette soon started throwing various weapons towards her partner, who deflected all that was rained down on him. Kunai and shuriken ricocheted off the sphere of chakra that formed as he turned, and studded the training grounds, spewing up dirt and grass as they did so.
When the girl had landed the boy abruptly stopped spinning, and both of them slid into their respective martial arts stances; the strong fist and the gentle. The two styles were not meant to fight with each other, and in this situation the gentle fist would most definitely win. But the brunette quickly unsealed a pair of kunai that would help her deflect her partner's strikes towards her chakra points...
Not that it worked too effectively. Having felt more than a few of her chakra points close up, she jumped out of her partner's reach to take out another scroll. It held another arsenal, and she let it loose in a barrage of weapons that again, merely bounced off of his defense.
"Ach!" The girl ticked her tongue, taking out yet another scroll. She glared at the boy, who only smirked at her.
"What's wrong? Come on, you can do better than that!" He taunted her as she bit her thumb to unseal one of her favorite weapons, a katana. He then backpedaled when the girl looked up at him to smile.
"Come at me, Neji."
Their sparring went on for a while longer until both boy and girl were panting heavily, clutching their sides. It was near sundown, and the training field had several large, circular holes on the ground, various weapons scattered around everywhere.
"Good spar today, Tenten. You aimed at a lot of my weaker points and nearly got me. I'll have to work on that." Neji said, brushing dirt off of his pristine white shirt.
"I still can't land a good hit on you though." Tenten frowned at her sparring parner. Neji only smirked at her.
"That's the difference between a jonin and a..." he was cut off by a shout that sounded across the village.
It was the Hokage's voice. Tenten raised her eyebrows up to her hairline but Neji only smirked once more.
"She probably just lost another bet."
This time, Tenten laughed as well.
"At this rate our economy's gonna go down badly! Now come on, unseal my chakra points."
After a short period of prodding, jabbing, and incessant jabber from Tenten, the two teenage ninja fell into a comfortable silence, sitting down on the sparse grass with Tenten's weapons scattered all around them.
Tenten opened her mouth to ask a question. "Neji, don't you think..."
"Think what?" Neji half-turned to her, absent-mindedly moving a tanto blade that had been pressed against his shoulder.
"Well..." Tenten was interrupted by their teammate Lee's arrival.
"Tenten! Our youthful flower! Hello, Neji!" Tenten groaned and Neji frowned.
"What now Lee?" Lee obviously didn't notice the exasperation in Tenten's voice.
"All kunoichi of our age are being called to Hokage's office! Tsunade-sama must be lecturing them on the youthfulness of beautiful flowers!"
Tears were streaming down from his wide eyes. Neji and Tenten glanced at each other before standing up to stretch. Tenten unfurled her scrolls and laid them down on the ground, forming a few seals to seal all the weapons around the area into them. She pocketed the small ones, tucked the elaborately embossed twin scrolls into holsters, and hung the largest from her back. When she was done, she looked up to see Lee and Neji arguing, yet again, on the fairness of their previous match. Not that Neji was saying much.
"Lets go." Lee stopped his rambling and Neji looked rather relieved.
The three roof-hopped towards the Hokage Mansion, where Shizune greeted them at the door of the second floor.
"Neji, Lee, you may go now." Shizune said to them, "Tsunade-sama only wishes to see the kunoichi."
Lee reacted right away with a, "Yes of course!" and turned to go. Tenten turned to Neji.
"Come on, you know you don't want Lee to get in trouble. Now shoo." Neji raised an eyebrow before consenting to turn away to go follow Lee. His strides turned into a run when the three of them heard crashes at the bottom of the stairs.
Tenten flinched but stopped Shizune from running down as well. "This happens often," she explained, and entered the hallway to join a few other kunoichi in waiting to be permitted to enter the Hokage's office. She spotted Temari of the Sand, here for a few diplomatic matters, and went over to talk to her.
"You were called here as well?" Tenten asked when Temari noticed her.
"No idea why, so don't ask." Temari rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders, pausing for a bit to adjust the weight of her iron fan on her back.
The two kunoichi leaned against the curved wall to look around them. Most of the other kunoichi were fidgeting, twirling kunai, or reading.
Soon afterwards, Sakura, Ino, and Hinata arrived as well, joining Tenten and Temari in their little area of the hallway.
It was not until a while later that, Shizune nodded at the number present and ushered them into the office. She was, however, a bit pale.
"Tsunade-sama's in a bit of a bad mood right now..." The rest of the kunoichi shuddered.
They all filed in to find Tsunade shouting at a black-haired girl. This stranger had a golden gleam to her skin and wore moderate clothes. Her left arm was covered in bandages and she wore slightly heeled ninja sandals. From the back, the kunoichi entering the room could see that her hair was quite long, as it it reached her waist even when tied up. And she was shouting at the Hokage, something no one in their village would have ever dared to do.
"Why won't you believe me?" she was demanding. Her voice held a light foreign accent. It was slightly Eastern, yet still held a Northern lilt to it. Tenten stiffened. She could recognize that accent anywhere...
The black-haired girl was still shouting at the Hokage. "Don't you see this forehead protector? She thrust the said object at Tsunade's face. The Hokage scowled in response.
"Well, it's just that your village hasn't been heard of since the First Great Shinobi World War. We always believed that your village was, well, extinct. If you can prove that there is, like you said, another that knows of your village among these kunoichi summoned, I may be able to believe you. But if not..." Tsunade trailed her statement, glaring up at the girl, who then threw back her head to turn away from the Hokage. This gave the kunoichi assembled a better view of her.
The foreigner's shirt had two very distinct symbols on it, one that read "metal" and was printed on her shirt as if a clan symbol, and one that read "king" and fastened on her shirt on a diamond-shaped badge. Her narrowed eyes, accented by a black pencil lining, were colored a chocolate brown and her lips were full and red. She took the protector back and proceeded to tie it around her forehead.
Tenten's eyes went wide and she gave a small gasp, unconsciously grabbing hold of Temari's sleeve as she did so. Temari frowned, turning her head to look at the bun-haired girl, but Tenten didn't notice the stare.
The symbol engraved on the metal plate was the one that formed both syllables of her name. The hairstyle itself had been a dead giveaway to who the person was, but the clan symbol on the girl's shirt, the chocolate brown eyes, they all solidified her suspicions.
"I assure you, Hokage-sama, that there is a kunoichi in that age range that knows of our village's existence." The girl was saying, having turned towards Tsunade again. Tenten swallowed. Her coming to Konoha was not good news, but... She had to make sure it was really who she thought it was in the first place. Tenten licked her parched lips before uttering out her friend's name.
The black-haired girl froze in mid-speech. Soon there were about twenty pairs of eyes on Tenten as the black-haired girl slowly turned her head to look at her. Silence fell on the room like a stone.
"Jin-cai? It's um... me, Tenten." Jin-cai locked eyes with Tenten, then swiftly raked her stare up and down, as if trying to determine if she was the right person. Tenten swallowed, and cleared her throat. Hopefully she hadn't lost her accent...
"Ta... tamen buzhidao." She said quickly. They don't know. Jin-cai visibly relaxed.
"A, shi nin a'r." Ah, it is you, in her native language. Then, as if remembering where they were, "So it is you." A pause. "Tianten." The look in her eyes made it apparent to Tenten that the pronunciation had not been a mistake. Something was up in her home country. And besides, Jin-cai never made mistakes. This exchange of foreign words did not bypass the assembled kunoichi's attention.
Tsunade interrupted the silence. "Care to explain further, Tenten?"
"I met Jin-cai on a mission once, but didn't include it in the report because she said that her country didn't want unneeded attention. Never met her again, until now." Tenten said, not taking her eyes away from Jin-cai's. She gestured with her eyes for Jin-cai to say something as well.
"It was... Tea Country, I think." She gave a small smirk. "I told you there was someone here that knew of our existence."
"Alright, so you can explain your mission request now. Everyone else, sorry for the trouble. You can go now... but Tenten, stay. You'll have to stay to really confirm... Jin-cai's... status."
"Of course, Tsunade-sama." Tenten licked her lips and bit the lower, glancing at the kunoichi slowly leaving from the room. She soon moved to grab Temari's arm.
"Stay." she said softly, "It would be... helpful... for Sunagakure... as well."
Temari looked rather unsure, but stayed anyway. Who was she to distrust her best friend in Konoha? The two had grown quite close after a mission of Tenten's related to Gaara's ascension to the post of Kazekage, not to mention the Konoha shinobi's rescue of Gaara from the Akatsuki a few months back.
A silence befell the room, and Tenten kept sending furtive glances across the floor as Jin-cai looked as if preparing herself for a long explanation. Temari and Shizune just stood and watched as Tsunade became more and more fed up about the situation. But just when the Hokage opened her mouth to demand an explanation, the foreign girl threw herself at Tenten, embracing her tightly.
Tenten only stood helplessly, sighing and resting her head against Jin-cai's shoulder. A lone tear ran down her face. "I thought I'd never see you again."
Shizune blinked at the girl, who was taller than Tenten. She had expected Tenten to have pushed the girl off with a force equal to like she did with Lee and Gai so often. But this time, no movement. Just a single tear.
"Wo ye xiangnian'r nin'r." Jin-cai said, her voice muffled by Tenten's hair. I missed you as well.
Tsunade cleared her throat. "Care to explain further?" She asked again.
Tenten looked at her idol, but frowned. "I would be willing to, but Jin-cai... get off me, Jin-cai."
The elder girl only grinned.
"Jin-cai. Off. Now." Temari smiled. Now there was the Tenten she knew. "I'll have to beat you up if you don't. Get off, now." Temari then frowned. There was a sternness in Tenten's voice that was not usually present.
"Danshi, Tian-tian'r gongzhu!" The elder girl's whines were obviously staged, but the other three kunoichi in the room frowned, not being able to understand the strange language the foreigner was speaking in.
"Jin-cai! Tamen buzhidao zhei bushi wode guojia. Wo bu gaoshi tamen." They don't know that this isn't my country. I didn't tell them. Tenten paused to switch to the standard shinobi language. "The Third knew."
"Sarutobi-sensei knew what?" Tsunade asked, softly, dangerously. Tenten and Jin-cai both turned to face her fully. "Tell us everything, Tenten. Every bit of it. And explain how you learned a completely different language!"
Tenten bit her lower lip and looked at Temari. Her friend from the desert country looked confused. She then turned to Jin-cai, who just nodded at her to speak. Her eyes pleaded silently to the elder girl to please, take her out of this mess. But to no avail. She opened her mouth to speak.
"I know that the Land of Heaven has not been heard of since the First Great Shinobi World War, making it a near legend in many places. But it still exists, and has a living shinobi village. Pronounced in the standard shinobi language it would be called Ryogakure. Ryogakure ninja are very prideful of their skills and of their secrecy, and it would mean that something big is going on for Jin-cai to actually come in the open with you with news from our country."
"Then the only reason we don't know about this huge country is because of the secrecy surrounding this shinobi village?" Temari asked, incredulous. Tenten gave a small smile before starting to reply.
"That and the fact that..." She was interrupted by Tsunade, who hadn't missed the words she used in her previous statements.
"You said our country. Is there something that the Third knew that I don't and should?" She had her hands clasped in front of her and her eyebrows were furrowed together in a serious mode.
Tenten bit her lip again, sending glances at Jin-cai. The elder girl just nodded, and Tenten looked down. "I... Yes, there is something. I'm... not from Konoha... I'm from Heaven Country."
"But... the official records! And the elders didn't say anything when Tsunade-sama was appointed..." Shizune stuttered. Tsunade and Temari remained silent, digesting the information.
"The elders don't know. Danzo-sama does, the Third did. This wasn't supposed to come out... I was supposed to be free." Tenten said in a small voice.
"Free? From what? If this Jin-cai came while knowing that you were here, you weren't really free, from whatever it was." Tsunade pressed on.
"Jin-cai helped me escape. That's why she knew where I was... I..." Tenten cut off to take a breath, and Jin-cai interrupted.
"Tenten... Tian-tian. She's not just anyone from the Land of Heaven. She's the princess. The... Tenkage's daughter. I've come to get her."
Tsunade, Shizune, and Temari's eyes grew wide.
"Tell." Tsunade commanded. "From the beginning."
They all turned to Tenten, who gulped and began her story.
"I don't know where to start... But... Let's see... March 9th, seventeen years ago, now, my twin brother and I were born to the... Tenkage. In Ryogakure of the Land of Heaven. Um... My birth name is what Jin-cai just called me, Tian-tian. Well, it's the same as my name now, just different languages pronounce the characters differently... I guess...
I have three other sisters and one other brother, which makes us six in total. I'm the youngest out of all of us. I think." A quick glance and Jin-cai's nod told her she was in the right track. She took another deep breath and continued.
"I... You have to understand that... the system in the Land of Heaven is a bit... different. The position of the Daimyo and the Kage are one and the same... and the next ruler is decided by bloodline. The Tenkage, when reaching a certain age, chooses his heir among his children. You don't even need to consider birth order... he, or she, will choose one, probably the smartest or the strongest.
The others are then given a seal that prevents the bloodline from passing on to their children... there are hundreds of branch family members by now. And that's my family... my siblings and I are the current Tenkage's children. Which means I'm still a candidate for the Second, the position right underneath the Tenkage... Obviously I wouldn't be chosen for that position." Tenten let out a soft chuckle, shaking a little. But she kept talking.
"There are two advisor families, five guard families. Eight major clans in total. There are other smaller clans, and all of these clans have their share of people in the shinobi force. The rest of the Land of Heaven are either civilians or shinobi with no special name. Jin-cai here, comes from one of the guard families. She's the one who watched over me before I ran away.
And in the Land of Heaven, our clan name, or our family name, is always the first syllable of our name. So I'm from the 'Tian' clan, and Jin-cai from the 'Jin' clan. I know the symbol on her shirt reads 'Kane,' but in the Land of Heaven it's red 'Jin'. Advisor clans are 'Ri' and 'Yue' and the guards are 'Huo', 'Shui', 'Mu', 'Jin', and 'Tu'.
As to why I do not use my position to an advantage, I ran away from Ryogakure before I could learn all my clan's bloodline techniques, not that I could have even become a kunoichi there because of the rules concerning our family... And I never had intended to even disclose my identity to anyone after the Third died..." She stopped, sensing that Tsunade was going to ask a question. "Yes?"
"Your... bloodline. What can you do?" A candid, straightforward question. Perfect.
"Our bloodline... the control of the sky, I guess. It's where we get our clan name from. Tian. Ten. Heaven. As in clouds, rain, wind, lightning and such... Fully trained we have been known to produce wings of chakra and fly... Only the males have ever learned that technique, however. Tian family girls aren't allowed to know any fighting beyond basic bloodline skills. I learned from watching, and I never used it once since I ran away. Technically I've broken every rule that comes with my family, but I could care less."
"Why did you not use your bloodline upon becoming a Konoha kunoichi?" Tsunade's voice was still soft, dangerous. Almost like Ibiki's when interrogating. Tenten licked her lips.
"I... I'm sorry Tsunade-sama, but... I mean, Ryogakure's people aren't permitted to show their heritage to foreign countries, and well... If word had spread about my bloodline I am pretty sure I wouldn't have been able to make it this far. The Third had let me stay, as an orphan. It is in the official records that I stayed in the same orphanage as Naruto." Tenten looked down.
"But Jin-cai's here now, and she's showed her hitai-ate to you. Something has to be up back in the Land of Heaven. Her mission was probably my retrieval. I need to go back and see." But I don't want to, her mind silently added. I don't want to go back. I wanna stay with my team, my friends, I don't want to go back to that horrible city. Outwards she remained silent, studying the floor.
Temari didn't know what to make of this situation. If Tenten, no Tian-tian, she corrected herself, had a bloodline that controlled the heavens, then her main element would be wind. Not to mention, with the use of her bloodline she could have probably been promoted to jonin status by now. But she guessed that it wasn't what Tenten wanted. She also now understood how Tenten had understood her so easily. But being a diamyo's daughter must have been hard. When had she run off again?
"When did you come to Konoha? And why Konoha?" Temari asked, suddenly curious.
"I was six," Tenten admitted, "I was able to enroll in the Academy without any age troubles and..."
"You ran away when you were six." Shizune interrupted, incredulous. Tenten shrugged.
"I had help from an eleven year old and a fifteen year old. And the guards were pretty lax."
Temari shook her head. "I don't think that's what she was asking about." Tenten smiled at her and she smiled back.
Jin-cai spoke next, softly, cautiously. "Tian-tian'r gongzhu... Nin'r de fuqin yao nin'r hui jia'r."
"What did..." Tsunade was cut off by Tenten.
"She just told me that my father wants me back." Tenten turned to Jin-cai. "Why does he want me? And after all these years?"
"Tian-di. You're seventeen now, around the age to be married. You only remember Tian-di as the kind and open and mischievous boy he was before you left. He changed as soon ad you did. Everyone at court knows his famous line, "You don't understand me like my sister did." They, no he, needs you on this one." Jin-cai said softly, as if trying not to scare her. "They need your opinion on his bride, or he won't accept any of them. And your father knows that."
All eyes turned to Tenten. "That's why you came here?" She broke out into hysterical laughter. "And here I thought it was some national disaster!" She laughed until tears started to fall out of her eyes. "Tian-di's being betrothed..." Her laughing ebbed and she started to sob. "He still remembers?"
"He was the only thing that prevented your father from sending search parties outside of the country when you disappeared. He knew you were alive." Jin-cai moved to embrace her. Tenten hugged her tightly in return.
"But... he's changed. You said so too."
"He's still counting on your return."
Tsunade cleared her throat. "To clarify: they want you back for your brother's engagement and wedding."
Jin-cai nodded. "Basically it is so."
Tenten's head shot up. "Basically?"
"You know what it means." It took a split second for Tenten to break away from Jin-cai's arms and hide behind a startled Temari.
"No, no, NO! You can't make me! Drag me out the gate and I'll shunshin back! I'm not going!"
Temari instantly went into protective sister mode. Her eyes narrowed and she reached for her fan. "What's going on now?"
"What's going on is that they're going to try and stick me into an engagement as well." Tenten ground out between her teeth.
"It's because she's still of the undiluted blood of the Tian clan. They're going to try and win her back once she comes home." Jin-cai turned to Tenten. "Remember that request you made in the letter you left your father? That you be allowed to become a shinobi on your return, if ever you should return? He's willing to uphold that... as long as you take an exam in the form of a series of matches. He's changed, you know. And not in a good way. You should be grateful he didn't include a punishment."
"The prospect of an engagement if I don't pass the test is punishment enough for me. I'm not going back." Tenten's eyes had hardened. "Even if I miss all of you."
"Well, I do have another reason why you should come."
"Oh? I'm not surprised, really." Temari said, grinning. "What is it?"
A short pause later, Tsunade slammed her fists on her desk, causing her mug of tea to jump. "I'm sending you on this mission, Tenten, Tian-tian, or whatever you want to be called. And Naruto's going with you."
Tenten froze. "Naruto? No, wait..."
"If we have a lead on Sasuke and Naruto ever finds out, which he has a knack of doing, he'll demand to go anyway. I'll send a team to Ryogakure. What was the mission request, Jin-cai?"
As Jin-cai pulled out a scroll from her bag Tenten turned to Temari with helpless eyes. Temari grimaced back. She was, however, curious on why she was saying no to Naruto's accompaniment, as he was someone one could trust easily. I'll ask later, Temari decided.
"The requested mission is that a force of at least seven Konoha ninja escort the princess back to Ryogakure. As you see on the letter, four more of our shinobi will meet us on the way there, if I alert them to. I guess you could send your shinobi on a dual mission, then. I don't exactly know what Sasuke was doing in the Land of Heaven, but he was there." Jin-cai straightened her posture. "Just keep in mind that if Tian-tian gongzhu is to stay for the engagement and wedding, this may take a while."
"So you have no doubt that Tenten, no, Tian-tian, will be able to pass whatever test given to her by her father?"
"I do not know how much she has grown. But I know that Tian-tian will give her best. So I don't think she'll be staying, no matter how much we have missed her."
Jin-cai gave a sad smile towards Tenten. Tenten mirrored that smile, knowing exactly what she was thinking.
"What will you do, Tenten?" Tsunade finally asked her. "No, wait, don't answer that. We'll talk tomorrow when I decide who this mission will go to. We will definitely need an experienced, elder jonin as the team leader. Obviously we want the rest of Team Gai to go. Naruto, Sakura, and Sai are a must, and Yamato falls under that category too. You need Shikamaru as well for the diplomatic part of this mission. We'll worry about the leader later, I hope."
Temari walked up to the Hokage's desk. "I'm going."
"Temari, you're a Sunagakure kunoichi. Gaara will have to..."
"Listen, I'm not about to let my best friend go back to a family that does not care for her best alone." She turned to Tenten. "And don't you go gloating about this either. We're on even grounds considering heritage now. Almost. Anyway."
Tsunade sighed. "Shizune, code a message to send to Gaara. Send our fastest." Shizune ran out of the room with a hurriedly shouted "Yes, Tsunade-sama!"
Jin-cai dropped a small bag on Tsunade's desk. "This should cover the mission with the amount of people requested. Excuse the fact that we do not use the same currency. The payment is in terms of coins of gold. This should be an A-class mission, yes?" When there was no answer, she continued. "We will leave in 2 days."
Tenten then chose to speak up. "Alright, then I'll make preparations for going back. I forbid any talk of my heritage, until I decide to reveal it, not even to my genin team. I'm sorry that I hid it until now to you, Tsunade-sama. I bid you all good night." Her back was straight, head held high. But there were tears in her eyes. She turned to look at her best friend, giving her a small smile. Then she walked out of the room, as graceful as any princess could be.
This time it was Jin-cai who bit her lower lip. She then straightened, eyes hardening, sighing as if hearing a silent command. She hurried out of the room to follow Tenten, head bowed, hands held together at the stomach.
Temari stared after them. Just like a faithful servant, she thought. She bid Tsunade good night and walked out of the room as well, intent on catching her friend for a talk.
Shizune stopped her before she was half out of the door, however. "I think she'd want to be left alone, tonight, at least."
Temari nodded. I'll find her tomorrow then, was her silent answer.
In her office, Tsunade had started petting her pet pig, glaring at the mission scroll from Jin-cai. She sighed, putting her face into her palms.
"This is going to take a while." She took out several blank mission scrolls, a brush, and an ink well, and started to write out mission scrolls.
Thirty minutes later, Shizune entered the room with a mug of tea to find that the Hokage had gone to sleep on her desk for the umpteenth time.
Author Notes (this is quite long, so you may want to skip to the parts you want to read):
Well, this is the start of the re-write. I'll be leaving the old story up until I'm satisfied with the flow of this one... It's basically the same story, but in better words. I think. I hope you all will be satisfied with what I'm posting here today, because I certainly think it's better than before. Now to the things you may be confused about.
I changed a lot of terms from my original story, starting from the title.
Heaven Country is basically what we would be saying if the manga was in Chinese. But it's not. So, Ten no Kuni instead of Tianguo, like I originally intended it to be. Therefore the title now is The Land of Heaven.
The Ryokage has been changed to Tenkage, as I think it's more befitting for the Kage/Daimyo to be called the Heaven's Shadow.
The city name, Ryogakure, has remained. I was tempted tore-name it Kumogakure, village hidden in the clouds, but sadly that name has already been taken. For the Land of Lighting.
I cut a lot of characters from the main 'cast' of this fiction, simply because I realized that too many characters would end in nothing but through and thorough confusion. And it would be an extremely irrational decision on Tsunade's part if she really sent the entire Konoha-12 (12 including Sai) to a far off foreign country.
Jin-cai is an OC, and I'll be trying to make her as realistic as possible. Shouldn't be that hard, since I'm basing her personality on a friend of mine.
If you haven't read Heaven Country, you'll have to know that there will be a lot of OCs in this piece of fiction. Not too many should appear regularly, however, except Tenten's father, brother, and Jin-cai. If any should seem unnatural or MarySue/GaryStu, please feel free to inform me.
Obviously, I'm using Chinese here. What else could this be? But please remember, readers, that I am not fluent in Chinese. It is my third language and in fact I have not taken any real lessons for around a year. So forgive me if you see me make any mistakes and try to correct me. Any questions on pronunciation as well and I'll try and answer as best as possible.
And the first thing that my test-reader asked me was Why the hell did you misspell all of Jin-cai's dialogue that's in Chinese? The answer is because of her accent. A friend of mine has a very heavy Beijing accent (habit of adding 'er at every sentence (or phrase) end) and I tried to incorporate that into Jin-cai's speaking. Tenten, on the other hand, has been away for eleven years. Of course she'll lose her accent for a more generalized one. I considered her not being able to speak her language at all... but that wouldn't make this story, would it? Her speaking has a few grammar mistakes in it, I think. And besides, I'm not going to be using Mandarin much after this chapter.
Any other questions? Review and I'll get back to you in the next chapter. Either that or email me, if you want a faster reply.
Like before, this will be NejixTenten and ShikamaruxTemari. If you haven't noticed already the P.O.I.'s will be from Tenten (mostly) and Temari (minimally). And oh, Sasuke will be evil. Trust me on that. Still unsure if he should be dragged back to Konoha or not.
Like I said in summary, takes place during Shippuden, when Jiraiya's not dead yet.
Why a whole new fiction instead of edits:
Because I felt that my chapter story Heaven Country deserved redemption from it's path towards a total MarySue fiction, and that redemption would require the comprehension, deconstruction, and reconstruction of the entire thing. (Wow I feel like such a FMAniac now...) And because I still absolutely love Tenten. Favorite Kunoichi.
Please review. They fuel my brain with ideas and keep me running in my busy schedule. Most of the time, at least. The flow of the next chapters may be decided from those reviews I get for this chapter.