I was going to wait until after opening week to put this up, but I didn't want to. ^^ I hope you guys like it. 49 chapters left!
Chapter Fifty-One: Knowing The Truth
"Sam, are you okay?" Freddie asked me as he took my shoulders, staring at me. I looked at him and I started to whimper. I couldn't stand the idea of him leaving me, but there might be something to what he's saying.
No, he's over reacting. I never really hurt him. I mean, if I did, surely he would have fought back against me. And most of the time it's his fault. And I get my out of control tantrums. We're not the perfect couple, but at least we love each other.
I took his hands and I begged, "Freddie…please don't…."
He was about to respond when the door to the house opened. I looked to the door to see a familiar face.
Valerie Freaking Kowalski.
She came in with two big bags and an expensive pair of sunglasses on her face. She said as she went into the living room, "Freddie, I'm home! I got you some take out if you want anyone of it." She turned around and she saw Freddie, Spencer, and myself. '..Oh…"
Ideas started to rage through me. I glared at Freddie, "Is this the girl you're shacking up with?!"
Freddie looked at me, "No, Sam-"
Valerie walked over to us and pulled me up, forcibly, "You have some nerve to come over here."
I pushed her away, "Don't you touch me, you little slut. I swear to God, if I found out that you laid one of those slutty, manicured hands on Freddie, I will kill you."
Spencer told me, "Sam, calm down."
I didn't listen to him. I just stared at Valerie, disgusted with the idea that she would touch Freddie in the way that only I would touch him. I was Freddie's first and his only. And I intend to keep it that way.
"So there is someone else?" I asked, looking to Freddie. He was standing up.
"No!" He yelled, "For the last time, I did not leave you because of another woman."
Valerie said, glaring at me, "He left because you are an abusive bitch."
I was about to respond when I heard the door open once more. I turned to look at the door.
A black man with dreadlocks walked inside. He had iPod buds in his ears and his eyes were closed. His body was moving to the music that only he could hear. He spun once and opened his eyes to see all of us.
"….Hell, Freddie, why wasn't I invited to this party?" He asked as he took the iPod buds out of his ears. He leaned against the wall and winked at me, "How you doing?"
"Whitney, this isn't a good time," Freddie said. He looked so overwhelmed and confused.
The man ignored Freddie as he extended his hand to me, "My name is Peter Whitney. Whitney to my friends. Hotrod to the ladies."
I pushed his hand away as I looked at Freddie.
"Whitney, this is Sam…my wife," Freddie told him.
I smiled slightly at how he referred to me as his wife.
"Oh….Oh! Sam! I know that name. So, this is the chick you complain about every time we get enough Long Island Ice Teas down your throat," Whitney said as if he discovered something profound.
I glared at Freddie. It was bad enough we had to fight in front of Valerie and Spencer. Now this clown comes in?
Freddie sighed as he asked, "Why did you come over, Whitney?"
Whitney smiled and said, "Party at Lucas's mansion. Everyone is invited. You are the guest of honor of course. It's a New Year Thing so we have to RSVP. And not to mention we have to get new outfits. Jared's at the mall already. That boy isn't much, but he sure has a since of style. He's getting us some outfits to pick from."
Freddie was about to open his mouth when I said, quickly, "Freddie can't come. He's going to be in Seattle. With me."
I glared at Freddie, hoping he would just agree with me.
Everyone's eyes were on Freddie.
"…Tell Lucas I'm not coming…." Freddie sighed.
I smirked in self-satisfaction.
"Unless he lends me the Mercedes for the next two months," Freddie said, smiling.
I could feel my eyes well up in surprise.
Spencer and Valerie had their own little smiles and relieved looks on their faces.
Whitney nodded, "Okay. I'll go tell him. Nice meeting you, Sam…." He bit his lip and looked at me for a moment before saying, "…A word of advice….I mean, I don't know the whole story, but I think you need to take some Prozac or something. Just to calm you down so that the next time around you don't throw away a great guy…"
He walked out of the house and I stared after him.
My mind…My mind was so chaotic. I couldn't even think straight. I needed Freddie. I loved Freddie. He is my everything. And I am his everything. He doesn't belong here. He belongs with me.
He belongs to me.
I smirked as I walked over to Freddie, "So, Freddie…Geeky, shy, little Freddie got invited to a party. Wow, that hasn't happened since we were kids…"
Freddie said as he looked at me, "…People like me here…I'm not the same guy anymore."
I laughed in his face, "Please, we all know that this isn't the guy you are. You aren't the popular guy, you aren't the guy that gets invited to parties." I went to grab his hands, "This is who you are. You are the geek. Technonerd. Socially awkward. Shy. Goody-goody when you want to be. That is who you are. And I love you for it."
Freddie didn't look at me. He looked over at Spencer and Valerie, "Can you two leave?"
Valerie looked at him, uncertainly, "Freddie, are you sure you can handle this?"
He sighed, "Valerie. I don't need a babysitter to talk to my wife."
Spencer said to me, "Sam…don't do anything stupid."
Valerie and Spencer went upstairs.
Freddie gently pushed me away from him before going to the window and he looked outside, "Sam…do you know how long it has been since I felt rain on my head?"
I asked, "What does that have to-"
Freddie cut me off. He sighed, "It has been two years, five months, and eleven days. For the majority of that time I was in the apartment that you barely let me out of. You never realize the little things that everyone takes for granted. The feel of rain…The feel of gentle, cool water. I used to curse Seattle for being so rainy. I would give anything to feel the rain again."
I was about to respond when he continued.
"I remember one night. You let me out to do laundry on the second floor. I could have left the building. That door wasn't locked. I could have just run out. But I couldn't. I felt so attached and so bound to you that I couldn't go. This sort of relationship is not something that I want," Freddie said as he turned to me.
I went over to him, "I'll change things. I swear to you, Freddie. I'll do anything you want. Just please stay with me."
"No, Sam. I'm not doing that," Freddie told him, "I'm tired of all the lies, the excuses, and the promises. I wish things were different, but they aren't. We live in this time and in this world."
I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the tears go down my face. I was sobbing like a little girl.
"…Sam….Sam, don't cry again…" Freddie pleaded as he went over and hugged me.
I loved the way his arms felt around me. I leaned my head on his shoulder.
"Let's sit down…" Freddie said as he took me into the living room and sat me down on the couch. He sat next to me.
"…I love you, Freddie," I said, taking his hands into mine.
Freddie looked at me, sympathetically, "…I love you, too, Sam…"
"I don't want to lose you. I promise that I'll be a better woman. I'll do anything! I'll even take medication-" I was cut off by his shock and pained expression.
"NO!" He yelled out. Realizing that he had yelled, he said, quietly, "I…don't want you to take medication. I want you to get better on your own."
I looked into his eyes and I told him, "I need you to help me get better."
Freddie looked at me and his eyes were full of wanting, need, love, and…what is that look in his eyes. I don't know what it is.
He said, "…Fine…But if you ever hurt me again…"
I smiled at him, "I won't. I promise you."
He sighed as he wrapped his arms around me.
I kissed him and he kissed me back. He ran his fingers through my long blonde hair and pulled me close to him.
"I missed you so much…" Freddie said to me as he broke the kiss.
"Prove it…" I said, slyly as I went to take off his shirt.
Freddie took off his shirt and threw it to the floor.
"You've never looked so hot…" I told him as kissed his chest.
"More…" was his simple reply.
"Huh?" I asked, wondering if he wanted more, physically or verbally.
"I want you so bad…" He said. His words were slurred in lust and need and love.
I took off my shirt and he laid down on the couch. I straddled him and threw the shirt on the floor.
I kissed him and I whispered into his ear, "I'm going to make you regret leaving me…"
Freddie tensed up in fear, but I kissed him again, "Don't worry, baby…Nothing bad is going to happen to you…"
I stared down at Freddie and I could sense both of our needs and desires.
Afterwards, I was curled up on the couch, lying on top of Freddie. There was a white blanket on top of us. Freddie was sound asleep and I was about to pass out as well. I then heard someone clear his or her throat.
I looked up to see Spencer standing in the doorway. He had a disgusted expression on his face. He pulled out his wallet and took out a few fifty-dollar bills. He threw them at me and said, "You two are getting back to Seattle on your own. I never want to see you or him ever again." He walked out of the house.
I looked at the money and wondered why Spencer was mad. Oh, yes, I remember now, because he wants me and Freddie to be apart. He's just jealous of our love. He has nothing but a cheating wife while we have a strong and romantic relationship.
I threw the money over by my jeans and put my head back on Freddie's chest. Sex was not something that I was sure about. I was still curious about it. Naturally. I wanted to have sex with Freddie for a long time. Ever since high school. The sooner the better. I wanted him to show me what love was. I needed the old doubts and insecurities and pain to leave my mind and body. I closed my eyes and soon fell asleep.
"You shouldn't have done that…" I said, sighing, "Mom really hates it when someone lies to her." I was seven years old at the time. The person who I was speaking to was my mother's boyfriend at the time. His name was Eli Cross. He was about twenty-five years old. Younger than my mother. He was one of Mom's longest relationships. One and a half years. Nice guy. He was going to med school. His partner was some girl named Georgina. Mom found out about her today. Eli insisted nothing was going on between them. He got a pretty bad beating. I could hear it from upstairs. Eli's been living with us for three months, but I'm pretty sure that the abuse started at least six months ago.
Eli was sitting at the kitchen table. There were scratches and bite marks on his face and neck. He didn't seem to hear me. I sighed as I went to a cabinet and pulled out some medicine. I went over to him and sat down. "Here…" I took out some disinfectant. It was then that he looked at me, "..Thanks.." I sighed as I went to clean his wounds. He hissed out in pain. I hated that he was in pain. He was one of the ones I liked. He was nice. He would rather be with me than Melanie. He bought me presents and took me out to the park. He was different from the rest. He was young, handsome, and nice. Not like the others. The greasy, slimy, old, fat, smelly men that Mom picked up from bars and service jobs.
I put the bandages on him and I asked, "Are you okay?"
He smiled at me and pat my head, "I'm fine, Tink." That's what his name for me was. Tink. You know, like Tinker Bell. From that Disney movie. He said that I was just like her. Sassy, protective, outgoing.
I smiled at him and gave him a kiss on one of the bandages, "Alright. I'm going to bed now…See you in the morning." Eli watched me and he had this look in his eyes. I thought it was weird. I just brushed it aside as I went upstairs to my room. I got into my bed and I fell asleep.
It was then I felt someone in the room with me. I opened my eyes to see Eli staring down at me. He smiled at me as he stroked my hair. I whined, slightly, "Eli, I'm tired…let me sleep." He shook his head and put a finger to my lips, "Don't talk, Sam…I want to tell you something." I sighed as I nodded.
No…No…I need to wake up! I need to wake up! NOW!!!!
I was panting as I woke up. I looked around and saw Freddie under me. I smiled in relief as I placed my head under his chin. I thought he was asleep, but his hand moved to stroke my back. I saw that he was looking down at me.
"So, how long is it going to take you to get packed?" I asked him, eager to get back home.
"…" Freddie said nothing.
"Freddie?" I prompted, looking at him.
"Things can not be the way they used to be," Freddie told me, seriously.
"They won't…" I said, sincerely.
"I don't believe you," Freddie said as he looked away from me.
"…So…you aren't coming back?" I asked. My blood started to boil.
"…I'm not sure…I need to think about this," Freddie said.
I got off him instantly. I used the blanket to cover myself. I stared at him, "You know, you are a real piece of work, Freddie." I bent down to get my clothes, "You say you're coming back, we have sex, and now you want to think about it?"
Freddie said as he looked up at me, "Sam…don't you understand why I'm skeptical? This is not the first time that this has happened. And one way or another you will return to your old ways."
I asked him, "So what?! So what if I start to hurt you again? Get over it! I'm not perfect, Freddie. I'm pretty much the opposite of it. You are my husband, you are supposed to be there for me and love me no matter what!"
Freddie snapped back at me, "I am not going to let you hurt me again, Sam. That I won't do. I'll stand for everything else but that."
I started to put on my clothes, "If you wouldn't make me angry, I wouldn't lose control."
Freddie put on his boxers and his shirt. He then asked me, "Sam, what makes you think that all of this is okay? Because it's not."
I walked over to him and grabbed his chin and made him look at me, "You know nothing about the real world. This is the natural order of things. Please don't question it." My mind raced over our relationship and I tried to make it seem like everything I did was what was supposed to happen. I don't think I can deal with it any other way.
"I am going to make you come with me one way or another," I said as I grabbed his collar and pulled him off the couch. I started to drag him out of the house.
"Let me go!" Freddie yelled as he tried to get out of my grip.
"Listen, Freddie! I swear to God, if you do not come with me this instant, I will make sure that you never see sunlight ever again!" I screamed at him, my anger finally peaking. I would do or say anything to make sure Freddie comes back to me.
I went to open the door and Freddie pulled out of my grip. He pushed me out of the house and slammed the door shut.
I fell down on the wooden porch and I looked to see that the door was closed. I got up and tried to open it. It was locked. I pounded on the door, "Let me in!" No one answered me. I collapsed to the ground and I felt tears go down my face. I began sobbing as I leaned against the door and wrapped my arms around my knees.
"Freddie…Freddie…I want my Freddie," I sobbed as I hugged myself even tighter. I didn't want this to happen. I never intended any of this to happen.
I stood up and looked to the house and ran away from it.
I lost him…I lost my Freddie…He's never coming back.
And Spencer. He won't ever talk to me again. I'm losing everyone I love.
I finished crying and stood on the porch. I sighed, knowing that I had to walk about half a mile to the nearest Greyhound bus stop. There's nothing I can do short of kidnapping Freddie. There's a part of me that wants to do that, but I know that I can't.
As I was a good way down the road I heard shouting. I turned to where the shouting was coming from. There was a couple arguing. The woman was a black haired girl with unnaturally pale skin. She had nice clothes, though. The man was a pudgy blond with darker skin. And though the man was taller than the woman, she was the more intimidating one. It seemed like he was shrinking under her. She was screaming at him. They were in the front yard of the house.
"I am sick of waiting for you to make a commitment to me, Jared!" She yelled at him.
"Molly, I'm just not ready yet," He offered, whimpering softly.
It was then that she slapped him, harshly. She pointed at him, threateningly, "You have until my birthday to put a ring on my finger, Jared."
Jared put a hand to his face and stared at her, sadly.
"…Jared, I love you," She said, her voice covered in a sickly sweet tone.
"I love you, too…" Jared said, in as sickly sweet eager to please voice.
They hugged each other and the sight made me sick to my stomach. I shook my head as I walked down the street and continued on my way. I hate it when people do stuff like that. They hurt you and turn around and tell you that they love you. It's sick, it's manipulative, and it's disgusting.
I went down to the Greyhound bus station and went to buy a ticket with the money Spencer gave me. I wasn't sure what to do now. I guess I have to wait him out. Freddie will come back…I'm sure of it. He loves me and I love him. I'll give him a month to get his priorities straight. And if not…well, I won't be such a push over next time.
Sam Puckett has always got what she wanted.
So, what do you guys think?