Breathe

Chapter One: The Beginning

Okay, I'm sorry that I haven't updated my other story, but I've been busy with championships and exhibitions but now I'm baaack!….with another story haha

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,

"Edward. I don't know what I did."
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season."

"I…I can't do this to him. I can't do this to him anymore." Sobs broke out through my body.

"Are you sure, Bella? We can always stop. You can always go back."

"I can't. I've tried. It's not the same. I think he's starting to notice. He's going to find out soon."

"Okay, Bella. I'm here for you."

Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

Walking into the cold room with all their eyes on us made me feel dirty. Like, I wasn't allowed to breathe the same air as them. My hands are forever stained.

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands

"Jeremiah and Isabella Hanson, please."

I stood up and looked over at Jeremiah. I looked into his dark brown eyes that turned cold to my touch. He looks straight to the door that the man called us from and abruptly got up from his seat. He opened his mouth slightly, and sighed while walking towards the door. I followed. I followed the man that I loved from the very start. Unfortunately, another man's gaze tore me from the path that guided me to Jeremiah. He showed me what life could really be like with him. He held it above my head like a shiny toy to a five year old. Of course I reached out to grab it. It taunted me. He taunted me.

"Miss Isabella, do you agree with Jeremiah's wishes?"

"Uh…I'm sorry. I don't know what his wishes are. We haven't talked about them." Jeremiah snorted and leaned farther back into his chair.

Jeremiah spoke up, "As usual." I ignored his statement and read the papers. I skimmed over the name selections, and financial agreements, when something caught my eye, "He doesn't want the house?"

The mediator explains, "No, he doesn't want the estate nor the Grey Chevy Tahoe that is in his name. The car you drive, correct?"

I look over to Jeremiah, "What am I supposed to do with the house, Jeremiah?"

"Sell it? Should be easy, isn't Edward a realtor or-"

I cut him off, "He's the owner of a Real Estate company."

He narrowed his eyes at me, "Well then maybe he can get one of his employees to sell it. Shouldn't be difficult for him. He gets everything he wants. Even what was somebody else's to begin with."

"Don't hate him because he's with me."

Jeremiah turned delirious, "Hate him? Why should I hate a guy that doesn't know what 'paws off' means? Then again why should I hate him when it was so easy to gain you in the first place?"

I'm not easy. Edward will always be a better man than Jeremiah. Edward is more financially stable than Jeremiah. Edward loves me more than Jeremiah.

I turned towards the mediator, "I agree with his wishes."

"Well then, that concludes this session. Please sign the papers, where highlighted and whatever future contact corresponds with what is stated in these papers, can go through the company. You guys are free to leave."

And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."

Two months later, I call to check up on Jeremiah. Edward insisted on doing it. Saying it's only fair for him. The phone call was the worst phone call that I've had with a person. He's not okay. He tries to cover it up. Saying that life has been a little rocky, that he has a small problem. He's an alcoholic. Even though he may not confess to it, I know he does. I can't help him though. He doesn't know what he put me through. Then again, I don't know what I put him through.

Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.


Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

In the next two years, my life would go from perfect, to the utmost wreck.

One guy. Two guys. One guy. One father. Two fathers. One father. One mother. No fathers. This is my story. This is my life. An exquisite example of temptation, lust and disloyalty.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

Oh how I wish I could forget.