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Survivor: Mummy Style

A group of people stands outside a golden pyramid. They are looking confused and nervous. Jeff Probst Walks towards them.

Jeff: Hi, and welcome to Survivor. The object of the game is to not be voted off by your team members. Any questions so far?

Alex: Yeah, I got a question. Didn't this pyramid sink into the sand?

Jeff: Uh................ Maybe. But that's not important. What is important is that you survive the harsh conditions and be the last person standing. Ok, now I'm gonna put you into teams. Rick, Anck-sunamun, Jonathon, Izzy, Red, Spivey, and Jacques are on team Yallah. Team Nimshi is made up of Evy, Alex, Imhotep, the Scorpion King, and Ardeth.

Anck-sunamun: Hey! I want to be on Imhotep's team!

Ardeth: I cannot be on the same team as the creature!

Rick: I wanna be on Evy's team!

Jeff: Alright, shut up! I'll change the teams. Camp Yallah is now Rick, Evy, Alex, Izzy, Ardeth, Jonathon, and Jacques. Camp Nimshi is Imhotep, Anck-sunamun, the Curator, the Scorpion King, Red, Spivey, and Lock-nah. Happy now?

Rick: Uh................ Sure.

Jeff: ok, Camp Nimshi is located over there near that clear pool of fresh water. Camp Yallah is over there by that mud puddle. Alright, go set up camp. Oh, and try not to kill each other so soon.

Later that day

Team Yallah is discouraged. They discovered that Jeff wasn't kidding when he said `mud puddle'.

But Team Nimshi is celebrating. They are delighted that they got good, clean water, while their enemies had to drink mud.

Imhotep: This is better than I expected! I figured I could kill O'Connell during one of the challenges. Now I can sit back and watch him die of thirst!

Red: Hey, when did you learn to speak English?

Imhotep: It's my second language.

Red: Then how come you wasted all that time in the first two movies talking in ancient Egyptian when they would have understood you better if you had just spoken English?

Imhotep: Uhhhhhh................. DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Imhotep lifts Red up with his power and throws him headfirst into a wall.

Back in Camp Yallah

Alex: I'm bored. I'm hot. I wanna go home. I'm thirsty. I'm hungry. I'm still hot. And bored. And don't forget, hot. Can we go home now?

Ardeth: I have only been around that kid for a few hours, and I already want to perform the Hom-Dai on him.

Izzy: If that kid doesn't shut up, I might have to shoot him in the ass.

Jacques: This place is cursed.