Fairly Queer Parents

by malkshake

One fine day Timmy was with his loser friends selling dope in the playground. "Wow this is some great weed" said Chester "Yeah, its jamaican" said Timmy. Just then, Timmy noticed Trixie and Veronica making out by the monkey bars. "Haha, Timmy's got a boner" said AJ. "Fuck you" said Timmy "you're just jealous because you can't get one because you're a faggish queer." "You're such a fucking hypocrite Timmy. Did that night in Chester's ghetto trailer mean nothing to you?" AJ reminded Timmy. "What the fuck?" shouted Chester but everyone ignored him. "What fuckin ever" said Timmy "I really want to fuck Trixie. I wonder how I can." "Well, maybe if you stopped being such a retarded faggot she would like you" said Elmer. "THAT'S IT!" shouted timmy joyfully "all I have to do is wish not to be such a faggy loser and she'll fuck me!" Then Timmy ran home to put his plan into action.

Timmy arrived home and walked into the living room. His mom and Vicky lying butt naked on the couch, exhausted, and his mom was smoking a cigarette. "Hi mom" said Timmy. "You little fucker. You weren't supposed to be home from school for another few hours" said his mom. "Let's punish the little bitch" said Vicky. Timmy had to undergo many tortures, including watching his mom and Vicky make out, and then getting raped by them both, all the while listening to Hannah montana music. Finally he escaped and made it up to his room. "Hi Timmy!" said his retarded bitches Cosmo and Wanda. They had a bong out and were stoned. "Hi. Listen, I have a wish" said Timmy. "What the fuck is it, bitch?" asked Wanda. "I wish I wasn't a fucking queer!" Timmy shouted. "Fuck. Does this mean we can never have sex again?" Cosmo asked sadly. "Yeah. I want to have my way with Trixie. So I am not a fag anymore?" Wanda and Cosmo were too high to bother granting his wish. "Yeah, whatever" said Wanda, swigging from a bottle of beer, "go fuck Tootie or something". Timmy happily ran out of the house to go get laid.

Soon he was back at the playground. His friends Chester, AJ, Elmer, Tootie, and Sanjay were hanging around smoking weed by the slide. "Hi guys!" Timmy shouted. "Oh shit, it's Timmy" said Chester. "Yeah! And I'm not a fucking fag anymore!" Timmy said happily. He strode over to Trixie. "Hey bitch" he said "wanna fuck?" "Ew, no. I've got the best fucking bitches for that job right here" Trixie said, gesturing to Veronica and that emo dyke Molly, who was randomly there as well. "But I'm not a faggot anymore!" "Yes you are Timmy. Now get the fuck away cause we're gonna have sex". Timmy rejectedly walked back to his dumbass friends. "Hi timmy. I heard that lesbo bitch Trixie rejected you. It's okay, I'll fuck you" said Tootie. "No thanks Tootie. Besides you're a fucking guy anyways". Tootie started sobbing and palming the bulge in her pants. Then she ran away. "Haha that got rid of that dyke whore slut bitch" said Sanjay. "Shut the fuck up" said AJ, bitchslapping Sanjay. "I wish we were I was dead!" Timmy cried in an emo fit. Unfourtunately for Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda had come by to see if they could buy some more dope on the playground. They heard Timmy's wish, and Wanda whipped out a sniper rifle and blew Timmy's head off, granting his wish. Everyone else cheered because they were now free of the dumbass motherfucker. All except for Denzel Crocker, who had secretly been wanting to have sex with Timmy. But he made do with Timmy's dad and soon forgot about the little retarded bitch. And other than that nothing else really changed.

The end.