TITLE: I don't like the drugs but the drugs like me

AUTHOR: Kichi

PAIRING: Holmes/Watson (implied)

WARNINGS: drugs

NOTES: FILL for Sherlock kink meme

ARCHIVE: HolmesWatson09

SUMMARY: 'I want Holmes having drug induced hallucinations. And I don't mean he thinks he's a cat or something. I mean seriously scary, disturbing, paranoid hallucinations that have him hyperventilating, sweating, freaking out, trying to tear his own skin off and generally lose it. Cue Watson to the rescue! Trying to calm Holmes down and keep him from hurting himself.

I'd love it if Holmes was experiencing severe anxiety and feeling like he was all alone even though Watson is there, touching him and talking to him. And if you somehow manage to have Holmes and Watson end up snuggling until Holmes has calmed down you can have any future children I might have. '

It was nearly seven in the evening when I sat down to read. The day had been long and I was rather tired. My leg ached dully as it was wont to do and my shoulder was twinging with it's own pains. It seemed the best course of action to sit before the fire and read. At least, that had been my plan. I frowned as I heard a sudden crash coming from the direction of Holmes' room followed by a shriek that had me struggling to my feet and storming down the hall in moments. I heard more crashes and what sounded like an explosion of papers hitting the floor.

"Holmes?" I called as I pushed the door open. I heard a strangled gasp but did not see the man anywhere. "Are you in here?" Then a strange noise caught my attention. A muffled cry, or something very like it sounded from further inside the room. I searched high and low and finally found Holmes underneath his desk; knees drawn up to his chest, eyes clenched shut, hands over his ears, and a grimace twisting his features. His lips were moving rapidly but I could barely make anything out. "What in God's name are you doing?" I gasped before I could stop myself. I had seen him do some odd things but this wasn't merely odd behavior. Something was wrong.

"It's not real. it'snotreal- it'snotreal-" he was gasping. I reached out and gently prodded him. He recoiled violently, striking his head on the desk above and let loose a terrified scream.

"No, no, no!" he cried and flailed blindly in an attempt to escape. I stumbled back, but only for a moment as Holmes began the claw at his own face, gasping raggedly.

"Stop!" I cried, instantly falling on him, crutching his wrists. But that seemed only to startle him more. His eyes were wide and I could see the terror in them.

"Please, no! Not this! Not THIS!" His cries grew louder as I pulled him out from under his desk and began to shake him. I didn't know what else to do, his panic was infecting me.

"Holmes! Calm down! Stop it this instant!" I bellowed in his face. His eyes rolled wildly, looking everywhere but at me. I shook him again. "Please, tell me what's the matter!" He was shaking, violently. His teeth chattered together and he tried to break my grip, but it was as if the strength had entirely fled his body. He slumped back, tugging me forward as he tried to squirm away. I lightly slapped his pale cheeks. "Can you hear me? Holmes!" For only an instant his eyes locked with mine. His gray eyes were black; I'd never seen pupils dilated to that extent. His eyes rolled again and a dry groan rolled past his quivering lips.

"Watson, stop them.." he gasped, his fingers curled into claws. "Get them away from me.." I sighed in relief when his entire body relaxed. But the moment I eased my grip he jerked free and launched himself to his feet and would have run had I not grabbed him legs and held tight.

He crashed to the ground with a cry and began to kick and buck violently, screams tearing from his throat.

"No!" he howled, clawing at his face again, and tugging his hair. I released his legs and crawled over his prone form and dropped my full weight on top of him. "Get away, get away!" he cried, writing and twisting.

"Holmes, it's me! Watson! Don't you recognize me? Good God, man, what have you done?" After releasing one last hair-raising screech he went limp beneath me, his breath escaping him in shuddering moans.

"Don't let them, Watson, you must stop them."

"What did you take, Holmes?" I demanded, my ears ringing. I held his face in my hands for a moment, waiting for those black eyes to stop darting about the room and focus on me. After several agonizing minutes he stopped shaking and his eyes settled on my face.

"Watson?" he gasped, as if I'd only just appeared.

"Yes, Holmes, God, yes, it's me." He choked in agony and clutched me tight.

"They're everywhere, Watson. You have to help me, they're going to rip me to pieces." He explained in a rush, his voice a panicked whisper.

"Holmes, there's no one here, now please, tell me what you've taken!" I cried, growing frustrated. But he seemed to pay me no heed; he merely clutched me tighter and buried his face in the crook of my neck, breathing deeply.

"Make them leave, Watson, make them leave.." A shudder wracked his entire body. I slowly rose to my hands and knees, Holmes sitting up with me, or rather- he clung to me like a vine and went where I went. My leg ached with the sudden strain and I gasped. Holmes clutched me tighter- painfully so – and a fine tremor raced through him again and a stifled whimper rang in my ears.

I somehow made it to my feet with Holmes wrapped around me and half-dragged, half-carried him to his bed. We collapsed and the mattress groaned alarmingly. My leg was on fire, as was my shoulder. I cursed in annoyance at the old pains.

Holmes, in the meantime, had not lifted his head from my shoulder, nor had he relaxed his grip. He was still shaking faintly and mumbling nonsense.

"Holmes, calm down, I'm right here." I said as I struggled to get him to loosen his grip.

"No, no! Don't leave me!" he pleaded. I could feel his heart pounding frantically, I had to do something to get him to relax, he was coming undone. "Please, no," he gasped. "Watson, don't go, please, please."

"I'm not, just calm down and lie back. You need to rest." I gripped his shoulders and gently pushed him back. His pupils had shrunk a fraction, but he was still in terror. His face was bleached like paper, his breath was coming in harsh pants, he worried at his lower lip with his teeth, and his hands, even as they clutched at me, shook violently. My heart wrenched at the pitiful sight. I ran careful fingers down the side of his face. For a brief moment, his eyes locked with mine. His entire demeanor changed as he looked at me. The fear bled from his features for an instant only, he offered a weak smile. Then his gaze flickered to something past my shoulder. His eyes grew wide before dropping to his lap. He leaned forward and pulled me close, those violent tremors racing through him anew.

"They're behind you, Watson." His voice was a mere whisper, and while I knew that what he was seeing was not reality, his words nevertheless sent a shock coursing through me. I snuck a glance over my shoulder. The room was a frightful mess, but I saw no one.

"Holmes, you're hallucinating. You're going to be alright, but I need you to lie down and rest."

"No, no, no!" he started, violently shaking his head in negation and pulling me closer still so that our noses were touching.

"I will not leave this room I swear it, but you have to try and sleep." He stared at me as if he couldn't comprehend what I was saying. Never had I seen an expression so out of place. It would have been amusing if the situation were anything but terrifying.

"Don't go." Was all he said. But he lay back obediently, dragging me with him. Of course I didn't mind one bit being in Sherlock Holmes' bed, and under the circumstances I was sure he wasn't about to let me get away, but I was far too worried to enjoy myself. "Don't go." He gasped again and squeezed me tight nearly forcing all the air from my lungs.

"I'm not going anywhere. I won't leave you, just relax." I began to rub his back slowly, trying my best to soothe him to sleep. After awhile his terrified pleas became groggy mumblings and as I felt my eyelids beginning to droop I heard him snore faintly. I felt a huge weight lifting from my shoulders at the sound. I leaned back far enough to see his face pillowed against my shoulder. He had dark circles under his eyes but much of the color had returned, to my vast relief. I would discover what mind-altering chemical he had ingested, but not just then. It could wait until morning and my dearest Holmes had quite worn me out. I placed a soft kiss upon his brow and closed my eyes.

The End! :D