Written for the second day of Havoc Week: Spy on Havoc Day!

Breda, Fuery, Falman and Roy are getting more than they bargained for when they decide to find out why Havoc only takes showers alone.

Pairing: Implied future Havoc/Roy.

Warnings: Masturbation, YAOI, voyeurism.

I don't own FMA or any of the characters.


"Why are we here again?" Roy demanded, arms folded over his chest as he watched his staff silently struggle for dominance before they arranged themselves so everyone had a crack to peer through.

"Very simple, sir. We're here to discover why the Lieutenant waits until everyone else has gone home to take his shower," Breda replied, peeking through the space in the boards to spy on his best friend. "He always makes excuses to be the last one in the shower and never changes his clothes or anything in the lockers. He always uses the bathroom."

"My money says that he has an embarrassing tattoo," Fuery commented, holding up a thousand sen bill.

"Two thousand says he has some weird mutation he doesn't want us to see," Falman challenged, adding his money to the pool.

"Three on him doing something weird," Breda cackled, grinning broadly. Havoc was his best friend. He knew him far too well for his own good.

"Yeah? Well my money says that you're all idiots," Roy snapped, turning to go and yelping when three pairs of hands yanked him back down. "Just stay and watch, sir! We need you here in case we get caught. You're better at getting out of trouble than we are." Breda protested, pushing him towards a crack. "Just watch, it won't kill you!"

He groaned but relented, kneeling and pressing his face against a crack, peering into the large multiperson shower that was usually filled with soldiers. But by this time of evening, most were at home eating dinner or hard at work and Jean could guarantee he had the shower and locker room to himself. What are you up to, Lieutenant? he mused inwardly, watching as his blond subordinate began to undress, undoing his lapel and sliding it off.

He swallowed hard, cheeks coloring faintly as strong muscle rippled and flexed with every move Jean made, eyes following him as the shirt came off, then the boots and finally his pants and boxers. As one, four mouths fell open as the naked blond wrapped a towel around his hips and made his way into the connected room, having front row seats to his shower.

"Who knew Havoc was so.. endowed," Fuery commented, sighing as he handed his money over to Breda, along with Falman's. "No tattoo or mutation.. So why does he avoid showering with everyone?"

"Maybe he's embarrassed to be seen naked?" the silver haired warrant officer replied with a confused shrug.

"Whatever it is I'm sure we'll know soon, so shut up!" Roy snapped, tensing when Havoc frowned and looked around.

"Colonel? Are you guys there?" he called, peeking outside the shower at the empty locker room, a perplexed expression on his face.

There were a few moments of strained silence before they could all relax when Jean shrugged and turned on the showerhead, draping his towel over one of the racks on the wall. "Must have been my imagination."

Roy sighed with relief and glued his eye back to the crack, tightening his thighs together when he felt himself stirring. He wasn't gay, really.. But who could blame him? Havoc was certainly quite good looking. Even the womanizing Flame Alchemist wouldn't mind a roll in the sack with him. He blushed and shook his head furiously, glaring in at the blue eyed man as he drizzled shampoo in his hair and began to scrub, muscles tensed. Jean was his subordinate! What was wrong with him, honestly?

He swallowed thickly as a lump formed in his throat, unconsciously shifting to relieve the stifling pressure on the growing bulge in his pants, pressed close to the wall to glean as much as he could through the crack in the wall. The rest of the group had fallen silent, as well, all peering intently at the blond from their respective spots and Roy could tell he wasn't the only one 'affected' by the young blond's physique, if the sound of constant shifting and reshifting and rustle of clothing was any sign. When it came to Jean Havoc, one couldn't help staring, especially with him all flushed from a shower.. water slipping down his skin in rivulets...

He grunted to himself and pinched his arm painfully to try to quell the rage of arousal that threatened to have him running for the bathroom, rubbing his eyes before returning to peer into the shower. He received the shock of his life when the scene that came into focus was very different from what it had been a few seconds ago.

Jean was leaning forward against the wall, one hand planted on the wet tile and another curled around the impressive length, slowly stroking up and down it with little moans and whimpers of pleasure.

"Does this count as something weird?" Breda whispered, earning sighs and groans from Fuery and Falman as they conceded the redhead's victory in the bet. They both had already lost, anyways, but if Breda had lost, too, they would have gotten their money back.

Roy ignored them, fascinated by the broad, callused hand that traveled over slick skin that usually held a gun or paperwork or.. God, what was wrong with him!?

His imagination ran wild as he stared in at him, watching intently as the fingers traveled over the hardening flesh jutting out of wiry blond hair, imagining what it'd feel like to have those fingers on his skin.. in his hair.. in his body..!

"Stop that this instant," he hissed to himself under his breath, pinching his skin once more in a vain attempt to quiet the raging hard on between his legs. He watched as Jean shifted to prop his shoulder against the wall, pinching a nipple with his free hand and moaning softly before the hand continued its travels southward to curl under him and grip the sensitive sac, squeezing and rolling it between long, graceful fingers. Roy's breathing was coming in soft little pants now as he watched, feeling the tense atmosphere that hung over them, all wanting to make a run for a bathroom stall or even a supply closet to relieve the itch, yet unable to tear themselves away from the scene in front of them.

"R..oy.." came the strangled moan that made all four stiffen with shock, all arousal momentarily lost. Roy felt three pairs of eyes on him and shook his head to signal he didn't know, his own black orbs filled with confusion. So the reason Jean waited until no one else was around to use the showers was so he could masturbate.. about him?

It made sense, he guessed.. Jean shared a dorm with Breda, so there was no way he'd ever get any privacy there. But still. Why to Roy? He couldn't deny that it didn't make him feel a little happy that the man was aroused by thoughts of him. At the same time, if any of this ever got out he and the blond would be court marshaled, even if nothing had happened between them.

He stared sideways at his three subordinates and visibly relaxed when, as one, they made a my-lips-are-sealed zipper motion over their mouths before they returned to staring in at Havoc once more. He had a reliable team and he could trust that none of this would ever be found out. Especially not by Jean. He didn't think he could ever wish that kind of embarrassment on his subordinate, even when the man was being particularly vexing.

"Roy.. Roy.." Jean panted softly, rapidly approaching climax as his hand began to stroke faster up and down the hard, throbbing length, the hot water acting as a catalyst. His blond hair was plastered to his forehead by now and sweat beaded on his skin, little moans and whimpers of pleasure falling from pink lips. "Roy.."

"Jean.." Roy whispered back, his own lips parted and hips rocking faintly in response to the arousing scene in front of him, eyes hazy and cheeks flushed with color. "Jean.."

All four men stiffened when a sudden guttural moan escaped the blond and angular hips thrust forward into the stroking hand, sticky white fluid spattering the shower floor before it was quickly washed down the drain. Roy was left feeling as if he had just climaxed as well, a hand pressed over his mouth to muffle his heavy breathing, black eyes wide and dazed and he could sense that the other three were in no better shape.

"We'll never speak about this to anyone ever again. Especially not the Lieutenant," he finally croaked, standing on wobbly legs as he beat a hasty retreat, the image of his subordinate's face as he came seared into his memory. He was so gorgeous and Roy would give anything to feel what he felt in those last few moments.

"Sir? What are you going to do..." Fuery trailed off as they exited the closet they had been spying from, closing and locking the door before striding down the hall towards the exit, all keen on finding a nice, private place to fix their respective problems.

"Nothing. Nothing happened. I saw and heard nothing," Roy replied simply, hands deep in his pockets. For now there was nothing he could do. For now he'd simply pretend nothing had happened, not wanting to alienate or embarrass his poor Lieutenant. But when the time came and he was Fuhrer, the absolute law of the land, there were a few laws he had to change and he could tell right away there was one that had been bumped up to the top of the list. When he became Fuhrer, there would be some changes.

"Sir? What are you still doing here this late?" came a familiar voice as he stood beside his car, having already separated from the other three as they wandered back to their respective dorms. He looked up and stalled when he saw Havoc, dressed once more in his uniform and blinking at him.

"O-Oh, Lieutenant. I was.. finishing up something for Lieutenant Hawkeye. I didn't want to have to call out sick tomorrow to avoid death again," he replied slowly, convinced that his entire face was outlined with guilt that would give him away to the younger man.

Jean blinked at that but nodded, raising his hand as he turned away. "Well, alright then. I'll see ya tomorrow, then, boss." he replied with a shrug, figuring Roy was just tired and that was why he was acting so strange.

He watched the retreating back for a long moment, wrestling internally before slamming the car door shut. "L-Lieutenant!" he called, making the blond stop and turn back to look at him. "Yes, sir? Is there something you need?"

Roy groaned inwardly at his own inability to resist his urges and then sighed, grinning wryly. "Do you want to... go get a drink with me?"

Jean stared wordlessly for a moment, digesting that before a broad smile spread over his lips. "I'd love that, sir."

The elder man felt his heart thud abruptly in his chest at the sight of such an honest, happy expression on his Lieutenant's face, swallowing the lump in his throat as he opened the car door once more, gesturing for Jean to join him.

It was just a drink. Really. Just a harmless drink between a Colonel and his subordinate. Nothing strange about it. He could only hope that Jean wouldn't hear his heart as it nearly beat out of his chest. The blond was special. He would always be special.

Yes.. When he became Fuhrer there would be some changes. And the first thing he would do would be to make Jean Havoc his.

Happy Havoc Week!