From Edwards point of view. I realise this is probably an overdone subject but this was kicking about my harddrive since I read the book all that time ago so I decided I'd just post it.

So enjoy and please review.


So Here We Are

I had been told to go and find Jasper. The only reason I was even contemplating it was that Bella had been so eager for me to find him and make sure he was ok, that and the fact that I wanted to drink her. Swallowing the venom in my mouth I left the house. I could smell her scent. The fresh blood making it stronger than ever. There was only one thing I wanted to do more than run back and taste her blood and that was to rip Jasper to shreds. However some of the anger dissipated when Alice shot me a worrying glare. Out on the lawn, closer to the river than to the house sat most of my family. Emmet was pacing slightly, Rosalie was sitting at the edge of the river, her hair whipping up in the wind. Esme had her head in her hands with worry and was gnawing on her bottom lip. And Alice. She was behind me, leaving the house moments after me. She was staring into the distance, I knew she was searching for Jasper in the future.

I was assaulted with their thoughts as they recognised my presence.

How's Bella? Are you OK?

Edward, it's alright, don't freak out man.

See, danger is everywhere! So stupid of us to let you do this Edward.

Don't hurt him.

I looked at the four of them but my eyes zeroed in on Alice, who no longer was looking into the future but was glaring at me. The look she threw me was full of anxious worry. Had she seen something in a vision? Did the future me hurt Jasper? I wouldn't be so surprised.

Please, she begged. I turned towards the river and leapt over it easily, following Jasper's scent.

"Please Edward!" Alice called after me, distress evident on her windchime voice. She hadn't bothered to just think it, the desperation causing her to call out loud.

The trees zoomed past me as I sprinted after Jasper. His scent got stronger and stronger until I rounded a corner and saw him standing completely still. Unmoving and not breathing, teeth locked together and his jaw set. His fists were clenched at his sides and his knuckles would roll for second but apart from that he was a complete statue. His eyelids flicked open and he looked at me when he sensed me there. His eyes were intense and a dark brown, not yet black. I was overwhelmed with fear, anger and self loathing that was coming from Jasper. He was in too much of a state to control his emotions and they were off loaded onto me.

It encouraged my own anger to flare up, my muscles tensed and venom pooled in my mouth as I glared at my brother. I felt the urge to hurt him resurface as hate bubbled in my stomach. I could feel my fingers twitch.

"Get your emotions in check." I said tersely. My mind multi tasking and envisioning ripping his arm off whilst another part of it was worrying about Bella and the plink plink of the glass from her arm.

I was getting disorientated by Jasper's thoughts. His mind was flashing between different thoughts, memories of what had just happened. Bella's face flashed up continuously. I was surprised that it wasn't the scene he had last seen but it was of her normally, talking to him at school or in the living room. Bella, a picture of pure innocence. I knew what he was doing instantly. He was trying to rationalise not going back and killing Bella. Interwoven between these images were the overwhelming smell of blood. The colour, the small drop spilling out from the tiny cut on her finger. I could feel his burning couple with my own thirst in my throat and it was doubly as hard not to canter back and drain her dry. I threw the thought out of my head and focused on the tree that I was standing beside. Tall and lean. I breathed in the forest air and looked at Jasper again. The air whistled in my chest, reminding me of how completely unnecessary it was to our existence.

"I can't." Jasper choked out after a long moment that in reality was only a second. And he jerked suddenly into motion and started to pace around the small clearing. His face was screwed up in disgust at himself as his emotions weaved their way through my own.

"Jasper." I spoke, my voice involuntarily pleading him. As I spoke to him I couldn't help but feel sorry for myself, another one of Jasper's feelings. I suddenly hated him for his uncontrollable gift.

"I can't control it." Jasper muttered so quickly that I nearly didn't hear. "I can't do anything. I can't process. It's all so - "

"I know." I replied as Jasper drifted off and he looked up at me, pausing a moment and then he started to pace again. "I can hear it all remember."

I fought to keep my fingers relaxed. His anger intensified, a spark of irritation at my words and what they implied.

Jasper's mind flashed to the trees and then suddenly before I had time to react he punched the tree. It snapped and splintered. The noise reverberated around the forest and I flinched as the tree dropped to the ground.

"Jasper!" I spoke evenly, trying to keep a calming influence on his already sensitive emotional system.

"I can still smell it." Jasper groaned and grabbed a branch twisting it in his hand. "It won't go away."

Why am I like this? It's pathetic.

"It's not pathetic." I told him. Jasper half groaned into himself and the tree made a large crunching noise as he ripped off another branch. It crumbled into saw dust by his fingers.

Just go away.


Jasper moaned again and looked up at me. His eyes were darker and full of pain.

Why not?

"Because it's not your fault." I told him simply. It was taking all my strength not to snap at him. I had to be patient.

Stop pretending. I know you want to kill me. If that happened to Alice...

I stared at him. There was no point trying to argue. Jasper had calmed down enough to interpret my emotions and he knew that I wasn't being completely truthful.

"Fine I won't pretend. But nothing happened in the end. It will all work out."

Jasper stood still again. I knew he was still trying to process.

He was a statue again. The remnants of the tree falling to the grass.

"I have to leave." He spoke. "I can't bear it any more. I have to get away for a while."

"We all have to go." I agreed with him and Jasper's eyes snapped up to look at me. The amber orbs staring at me.

And Bella?

I stayed silent and stared at him. The southern accent of Jasper's thoughts faltered for a moment.

Oh, Edward don't do this.

"I'll go get Alice." I spoke quietly and turned slowly. "You should probably go and hunt."

I'm sorry. I really and truly am sorry. It's all my fault. This is all my fault, you shouldn't have to leave her, not like this. I'm so sorry for causing you all this pain. I'm sorry Edward.

I heard him run off again his feet carrying him miles away in moments.

"I know you are Jasper." I whispered and I knew that he had heard me.