Baby Fever

A/N: So-I wrote this a total of two years back. WOW.
I recently dusted this chapter off and decided to continue it since I do find silly Konohamaru and rude Hanabi absolutely hilarious together. The reason I didn't publish this right away was because I wanted to actually re-write Hanabi's character entirely so that she was a little bit more polite and heiress-like. As you'll find out by the end of the chapter-I can't write Hanabi in a very...heiress-like tone. She's rude. My version of Hanabi is just...ultra rude...and even after TWO YEARS of mulling over what I should do to make her seem more prim and proper while also loud and opinionated...I came up with nothing. I changed ABSO-F*CKING-LUTELY nothing in this fic. It's a disappointment for me as well...but I hope you'll like this chapter anyway. The next chapter WILL be re-written though, and is likely going to be up right after I update 'Fifth and Sixth Jidai'-which should be coming soon~!

Hanabi always told herself that whatever her sister could do, she could do better.

However, deep in her gut she knew she could never do a lot of the things that Hinata was able to do.

For instance, she can casually say she could never be as good as a cook-not that she wanted to try. She can assume she wasn't as good at cleaning or organizing-not that she ever needed to clean her own mess. She can also say she probably wasn't very good at finding and keeping a man as a lover. Hinata was also known for extreme kindness and friendliness, not that Hanabi was jealous of either of those things. And she was definitely better at giving birth to children, and taking care of children, and raising them.

But, alas, her one great mishap in personality-the one that told her that she could do anything better than Hinata Hyuuga-was that of making friends.

She confided in Konohamaru that she had a way with the Kunoichi of Konohagakure…

But that was all in her head. She didn't realize she didn't know anybody that she spoke to in a friendly tone that was remotely in her age range or of female gender. She even treated her teammates, who she grudgingly cares for, with any sort of public consideration. She was a Hyuuga, she just couldn't show her caring side-it came with the haughty title of Hyuuga Heiress. She never really delved deep to figure out why she didn't make friends, or really worry herself too much about it-she never thought of herself as lonely…she just felt at home whenever she wasn't around anybody. What was so wrong with that?

So, of course, as the weeks of busy ninja life ticked by, and her mind started to drift off on seeing her sister's two children again, she realized she should probably start looking for a girl for Konohamaru. She was very good at keeping promises, and although this promise wasn't on the top of her to-do list…Konohamaru did possess the knowledge of her weakness. So she realized that she shouldn't mess around with his loud mouth that much…ew, Hanabi paused and rolled her eyes, if she ever said that sentence out loud people would mistaken her for a pervert…

As she shifted her arms, and finally put down the huge scrolls that she was carrying to regain the feeling in her fingers. Her teammates, who were absently following her, stopped as well.

"You ok, Hyuuga?" asked her teammate Tsuyoshi. Hanabi glares at him, but he merely smiles back.

"I'm just thinking, is all. Something you wouldn't know anything about." Hanabi replied casually, her mean spark was back as she fixed her attention on her nails.

"Thinking about what?" her other teammate, Jintarou Kizuboshi asked. He came from the Kizuboshi clan, a rather pathetic clan that works more on their genjutsu than the other essential talents of a ninja. He was the weakest in Hanabi's lot because of it, but, Hanabi had to admit that he was a loyal teammate despite his faults. "Boooys?"

Hanabi gave him a blank stare that wipes the teasing smiles off of her companions' faces.

"Oh. That was supposed to be funny, sorry-hahahaha." Hanabi faked a laugh dryly while rolling her eyes. She polishes her fingernails up and down her Chuunin vest before picking up the large scroll again. "Come on, you wimps."

"Affectionately calling us 'wimps' instead of 'dogs'-maybe she is thinking about boys." Tsuyoshi teased kindly behind Hanabi's back, earning another killer glare from the petite Hyuuga.

"Hahaha! Can you imagine that poor sucker?" Jintarou made the mistake of truly laughing at the back of his tough tomboy teammate, and didn't see the large scroll flying toward his face until it hit skin. He fell in an unconscious heap, and Tsuyoshi blinked at the state of his friend before sighing and having to fess up an apology.

"Sorry, Hanabi. We couldn't help ourselves."

"Damn straight." Hanabi sneered, "Now he can carry my scroll back to the Hokage along with his own. I'm so out of here!"

"Shoot, Hyuuga." Tsuyoshi sighed, "You're on edge today, what's got your panties in a twist?"

Hanabi put her hands on her hips and glared at Tsuyoshi, "I hate that saying-what kind of Kunoichi wears panties. I wear-"

"OK!…T.M.I…" Tsuyoshi snorted in laughter before he touches his forehead and shakes his head in pure pity. Sometimes Hanabi just doesn't know how to be a girl. And just as he was thinking that, Hanabi must have caught his same train of thought for she opened her mouth and asks…

"If you must know…" Hanabi sighs, "I was wondering…do… do you have any friends that are… you know, girls?"

"Uh, sure." Tsuyoshi shrugs, his eyes slowly widening as he noticed his usually tough female teammate bashfully look away. "Why?"

"I- no reason." Hanabi kicks at a rock by her foot and faces the road ahead, "I'll carry Jintarou's scroll if you carry Jin-"

"Are you trying to make friends, Hyuuga?" Tsuyoshi asks in shock, "This is shocking news."

"Oh pipe down." Hanabi shoves the scroll off of her unconscious teammate and picks up her scroll, and his. The two large scrolls weighted heavily under her arms, and she nodded toward the groaning body for Tsuyoshi to pick up. Groaning, he puts down his giant scroll himself to pick up his teammate, and tossed him over his shoulder. He copies Hanabi and puts the large scroll under his arms, and they both trudge along the path.

"Thanks a lot Hyuuga." He groans.

"Stop your whining, this builds character."

"I bet that's what you keep telling yourself whenever you hit us." Sneers Tsuyoshi.

"Does it bother you that much? Man, you're such a sissy…"

"That attitude is why you don't make any friends, much less friends that are girls…" Tsuyoshi mutters under his breath.

"Waaait, whoa, hold it-HOLD IT" Hanabi put down her scrolls and rounded up on Tsuyoshi. "Now say that again-but this time, say it to my face like a man." She hisses.

"I said." Tsuyoshi didn't even blink or flutter with fear, "you don't make any friends that are girls because you're too harsh."

"You didn't say that last bit." Hanabi muttered, "But yeah-I guess you're right."

Tsuyoshi blinked, when he saw Hanabi scratch her head, and shamefully look away from his curious gaze.

"You…just admitted that I'm right." He said under his breath, but Hanabi caught it with her supreme hearing and glared at him angrily once more. "SORRY! Sorry, don't hit me!"

"Chill out." Hanabi sneered, "Any proud warrior can admit they are wrong…once in a while." Hanabi held her nose up high, "So how do you make friends?"


"Just give me the quick facts." Hanabi demanded.

"It doesn't work like that. And ordering people around does not get you friends, only people who fear you…and fear isn't the same as respect."

"Pfft. You sound like my brother-in-law." Hanabi mumbled. "And what are you saying-you don't respect me?"

"N-no, ma'am, I respect you plenty." Tsuyoshi said in a cowardly voice, "pleasedon'thitme."

"UGH!" Hanabi screeches, "You're no help!" she turns her back to him, and starts stomping down the road.

"Wait! Wait, Hyuuga-I'm sorry. I have some friends who would love to be your friend." Tsuyoshi suddenly shows his true, marvelously caring side. "I was just shocked, was all. Sorry."

Hanabi turned around and caught Tsuyoshi's smile, and felt herself breath a sigh of relief. "Yeah?"

"Sure." Tsuyoshi grins, "I'll hook you guys up! How does tomorrow at three sound?"

"Tsuyoshi." Hanabi said seriously, her eyes sparkling. "Thanks! I owe you one!"

"You said it, not me!" Tsuyoshi waved a taunting finger at her. "Then you'll tell me why you want a girlfriend so badly."

"Not a girlfriend." Hanabi still felt the need to correct. "A friend that's a girl-I just want one, is that so bad?"

"Not bad…just weird." Tsuyoshi shrugs. "Damn, Jintarou is heavy-wanna trade?"

"Sure." Hanabi sighed. "Man, he's such a baby…" she shifts Jintarou on her own shoulder, as she passes the scroll over to Tsuyoshi. Jintarou was finally finding consciousness, as his head hit Hanabi's backside a couple of times as she shifted the weight on her shoulders.

"Pfft, the ugliest baby on this side of the earth."

"That's funny." Hanabi laughs, and Tsuyoshi joins in, just as Jintarou finally becomes conscious.

"Is this really what I'm hearing?" he asks groggily. "You guys are ass-holes…"

"No, that's just Hyuuga's ass-" Tsuyoshi says gesturing to what Jintarou was now currently staring directly at. Jintarou pats the aforementioned buttocks.

"It's a lot firmer than I imagined-OOF!" Hanabi drops him on his face, and glares down at him. "So do you have friends that are girls?" she asks, "Any that can, I dunno, compare to my older sister-"

"Waaaait, wait, wait… are you…trying to find a replacement for your older sister?" Tsuyoshi asks, dropping his scrolls, and turning Hanabi's shoulder to look directly in her eyes. They were serious.

"Yeah, something like that." She nods, and smiles, "You know anyone like her?"

"You're talking about Hinata Hyuuga, right? The chick who married Uzumaki Naruto, Konoha's Jinchuuriki?" Jintarou asks looking up at Hanabi. "Dude, I always forget you guys are related."

"She is one sweet lady." Tsuyoshi said with an appreciative smile, "That Uzumaki is a lucky bastard…"

"Holler." Jintarou agreed, and from his wincing position from the ground, he holds up his hand-and Tsuyoshi promptly gives it a quick high-five.

"ANYWAY." Hanabi snaps, "Do you know any girl that's kinda like her? That is around our age-range, perhaps?"

"What do you mean 'like her'? Like-how she looks? Because I dunno anyone who looks like her." Tsuyoshi looks toward Jintarou to see if he knew anyone of the sort who could match the stunning looks of the wife of the future Hokage.

"Um, hello? I look like Hinata-nee!" Hanabi glares at the boys. They both look at each other and then back at Hanabi, and make the mistake of scoffing. She punches them both swiftly on the head. Soon Jintarou and Tsuyoshi were both flat on their backs on the ground with Hanabi glaring down at her boys. "Anyone who acts like her?" she asked promptly.

"Uh… I guess? I dunno. I'm sure there are other girls…civilians, who are like her." Tsuyoshi rubbed his chin, thinking about it hard.

"I don't know any Kunoichi that can maintain Hinata's character. I mean, remember Chika from our Academy class?" Jintarou turns toward Tsuyoshi that was on the ground to his immediate right, "She was ridiculously nice, remember her?"

"Kinda?" Tsuyoshi narrowed his eyes, what he really meant to say was 'no, I don't remember her'.

"Yeah, she was kind of a wall-flower. Well, the first week she became a Genin, she became as mean and nasty as Hanabi here." Jintarou turns toward the giant that was towering over them.

"Nuh-uh! Who is this kunoichi? I wanna meet her!" Hanabi says her eyes lit up with genuine interest.

"Well… she won't be like Hinata-san…but I guess she's a good friend to start with." Tsuyoshi agrees. "Let's all meet her! I hear she was grouped up with Toshio!"

"No way! I loved that clown!" Jintarou says brightly.

"Oh ew, isn't he the guy who mooned us before the Genin exams?" Hanabi says, her excitement dimming.

"Duuuude, that was awesome. All the girls were all 'yikes! I can see his thing!'" Hanabi watched in disgust as her two teammates rolled around in laughter. She considered kicking them in their nut-sacks to see if they'll still continue to laugh as hard…

"I like this new mission- Mission: find Hanabi a friend!" Tsuyoshi grins over at Jintarou.

"Hey, that does sound interesting. That's an A-rank, right there." Jintarou comments, and the two teammates stupidly high-five each other again.

This time Hanabi does deliver a swift punch to both of their family jewels.

"OHHHHHH!" her teammates cried out in harmonized pain.

"Tomorrow, three o' clock, I want you guys to introduce me to all the eligible Kunoichi that could compete with my sister. GOT IT?"

"Got it." The two men squeaked, pathetically. Hanabi nods and takes all three scrolls from the ground, and relieves her teammates from the duty of delivering the scrolls. That's the least she could do now that she incapacitated her teammates for a full ten minutes.

Konohamaru groggily got up from bed and rubbed his eyes when he thought he heard someone knocking on his door. His mother in the other room rustled awake as well, and this alerted him to the possibility that the sounds that were coming from the front door were not a part of his crazy imagination. Scrambling to his bedside table and grabbing the nearest sharp object, he stumbled toward the adjacent room, stuck his head in to tell his parents to stay put before stumbling down the stairs in a mad frenzy.

He jerked the door open, and raised that sharp object high in the air for the offensive burglar to see, before the 'burglar' on the other side of the door, scoffed.

"What are you doing?" Hanabi Hyuuga, in sweats, asked as she put her hands to her hips. She shoved his raised hand away and the disoriented boy took a manic step back as his wildly blinking eyes tried to discern what was happening.

"H-Ha-H-Hanabi…w-what-what are you doing here?" Konohamaru stuttered worse than Hinata when she was younger as he stumbled back into his front door porch.

"Can I come in? Or is this a bad time?" Hanabi asked.

"WHA-" Konohamaru lowered his voice quickly to whisper, "Of course it's a bad time! It's…" he craned his head to look over his shoulder to the nearest clock on the wall, and snapped his head angrily back to hiss, "FIVE O' CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING!"

"Konohamaru? Is everything ok?" Konohamaru heard the sleepy voice of his mother up the flight of steps, she had a hint of fear in her voice that only made Konohamaru's earlier ire morph into full-out hatred. He turned toward Hanabi and shoved her, earning him a shocked look before turning toward his mother's frightened voice.

"Nothing, ma! Go back to bed!" he called before shoving the rest of Hanabi out of his comfortable house's exterior before firmly closing the door shut. He crossed his arms and decided to give Hanabi a piece of his mind, but she was only smiling up at him.

"Do you know that normal citizens of Konoha sleep for another two hours, tops?" Konohamaru hissed dangerously low. Hanabi finally seemed to realize her mistake, as her smile slipped.

"Wow, you're rude. I'm here to give you some fucking fantastic news and you're yapping about not having enough beauty sleep? Every decent ninja knows five-o'-clock is business time. Get in the game, shinobi!" Hanabi lightly shoves him, and even puts on a good-natured grin back on her face. "Look, I've got the perfect girl for you. You gotta check her out."

"What?" Konohamaru scoffed, and rolled his eyes before sighing, and leaning against his front door. "Is this why you woke me up in the morning, for a girl?"

"Dude, she's just like Hinata-nee-chan. For a moment, I forgot I was talking to someone other than nee-chan. You gotta believe me, this chick-is perfect." Hanabi said.

"Whatever. Is that it? Cause I'd love to go back to bed, oh-and thanks a lot you almost gave my mom a heart attack."

"Ohhh right, she must not be used to you getting female-visitors. I understand." Hanabi said, with obviously no intention of sounding like a complete prick, but it came off that way anyway, and Konohamaru felt a tick form on his brow for the second time that morning. He crossed his arms and hissed over at her.

"I get female visitors all the time. You need to stop poking fun at me, missy-because…"

"WOW!" Hanabi cuts him off, quite loudly, "Did…you just call me 'missy'?"

Konohamaru re-folded his arms and grinned, "I think I did, you got a problem with that?"

"Oh I do. Shit-face." Hanabi said raising her voice and shaking a fist at him. "You call me another nick-name instead of treating me with some respect, and I'll introduce you to two friends of mine, " she raised her two fists, "That can easily change your mind about disrespecting me again-now, about the girl…I was thinking, maybe we can put her through a couple of tests to see if she's Hinata-nee-chan like. I'll gather a few other girls, we can line 'em up, and test them with quizzes and stuff! And you can have your pick!"

"I…like the sound of that." Konohamaru had to honestly admit. This sounded like a twisted comedy…with a hint of what every heterosexual male in the world would find a blissful fantasy. Choosing your own mate through a series of sexy tests…? Wait, Hanabi never said anything about a sexy test.

"Oh, but before any of that, I wanted to talk to you about an agreement we should have about the twins." Hanabi said, deathly serious. "Now that I've been keeping my end of the bargain, you need to fulfill yours."

It was Konohamaru's turn to openly look puzzled and lightly put-off. "Eeeeehhhhh?"

Hanabi smacked him across the face. "What's that attitude?"

Unknowingly to Konohamaru or Hanabi, the worried mother from up the flight of stairs had been up despite her son's ushering to go back to bed, and was slowing creeping down the steps.

"You have to fulfill your part of the bargain." Hanabi hissed again. "Those twins are going to be mine got it? Hands off."

"What-they're just as much as part of my family as yours!"

"Since when? You're not part of my family! You can't make any claims of taking my kids."

"They're not your twins, Hanabi! Just face it-"

"WHATEVER. I'm just saying, since we've agreed to work together on this baby-issue that you be supportive of any claims I make for the next few months and then-"

Konohamaru froze when he heard a loud clattering sound right behind the front door, opened it and then saw his mother passed out on the genkan (front door's patio).

He shrieked, "MOMMY!"

"Oh, Hello Sarutobi-san!" Hanabi said, oblivious to the unconscious state of the mother.

"Gods damn it!" Konohamaru hissed bitterly as he scooped his heavy mother into still tired arms before hoisting her up and out of the dirty patio.

"Need help?" Hanabi asked, full of energy.

"Ugh, would you?" Konohamaru gestured toward his mother's legs, and Hanabi actually helped out. Konohamaru didn't seem to realize how strange it was until after the two of them settled his poor mother in the living room couch and he turned around to see Hanabi making herself comfortable inside his family's kotatsu table.

"Ohhh, tangerines." She reached out to grab one, when Konohamaru hissed.

"Put the citrus down, bitch. You need to leave."

"I just helped you. I get a treat." Hanabi ignored him, and grabbed the fruit that was offered in the tiny tray on top of the table she currently sat at. Konohamaru was now burning with anger, and rightfully so, and didn't hesitate to lunge at her as he tried to fight that piece of fruit out of the nasty girl's hands.

"Get off of me, you big… ape." Hanabi struggled as Konohamaru actually used his weight and height as an advantage and managed to grab hold of the citrus clutched outstretched in the young woman's hands. "You're a jerk, I'm hungry. You can't deny a girl food!"

"Konohamaru!" a strict voice out of nowhere made Konohamaru freeze, and peek around his shoulder to see a flabbergasted, and furious mother staring at him from her awkward position on the couch. "You get off that poor girl this instant."

Konohamaru did, feeling all of his earlier fighting spirit drain out of him in a shocking second. Konohamaru's mother, also known as Chiaki Sarutobi, also known as Asuma's older sister, had the ability to shoot angry glares that did actual damage to a person's soul (it seemed). The look she currently sent to her son sent shivers up his spine, and he didn't even know where the sudden mood-change came from. Was she really that upset that Hanabi woke her up at five in the morning? Slowly as she shifted her eyes to the woman who once again got her hands on the citrus in Konohamaru's hand, she soon sported a look of pure terror and sympathy now as she situated herself in front of Hanabi Hyuuga, and positioned herself for a deep bow.

"I'm so sorry about the behavior of my terrible son." She bowed so low, and professionally, that it scared Konohamaru. What the heck was going on?

Hanabi calmly peeled her 'deserved' treat. "Eh? Oh, no biggy. He's just being a man. No need apologizing for what we women can't fix." She snickered while Konohamaru sent her a nasty glare. She sent him a look of victory and taunted him by waving her fruit in the air. "Yummm."

"Konohamaru! How could you? A sweet woman like- I'm sorry, I've never even met you." Said the distressed mother as she fretted over an ignorant Hanabi, "What's your name, my child?"

"Oh, sorry, I should have introduced myself." Hanabi finally seemed to find the manners that her father always shoved down her throat. She abandoned her fruit, bent down to bow as well, and said, "I'm Hanabi Hyuuga, heiress of the Hyuuga clan and Chuunin of Konohagakure. I'm currently seeing your son in shinobi affairs, and I'll be visiting from time-to-time for the next few months-years, maybe."

"Oh my goodness. A Hyuuga." The Sarutobi mother was now hyperventilating. "Oh my goodness-Konohamaru how could you?" she snapped toward her son, who bore an innocently oblivious look on his face. He was smacked over the head, for the second time that morning, and now he was thoroughly angered.

"What the hell? I did nothing wrong!"

Mrs. Sarutobi gasped dramatically, pressing a hand to her chest, and not even being able to recognize the man in front of her as her son anymore. "Didn't do…anything wrong? You-impregnate a Hyuuga Heiress…and you didn't do anything wrong?"

There was an awkward silence before Hanabi looked over at Konohamaru. "You got who pregnant?" she asked through a mouthful of fruit.

"I'm so sorry my son is so…so…cold-hearted to not even have introduced us properly…but let me tell you, child, you will be treated as a daughter I've never had, believe me. Even if my son abandons his children-I'll always look to them as my grandchildren. You can depend on me, Heiress-"

"WOW, wow, wow, Mom-I didn't do it with Hanabi. She's not pregnant. That's gross." Konohamaru was vehement to correct his mother's misunderstandings, but he saw that sparkle in Hanabi's eye even in his peripheral vision and felt himself make a very audible gulp.

"Wait. Hold the phone, Konohamaru." Hanabi said, shocking Konohamaru as she continued to face Konohamaru's mother. That interested sparkle in her eye. "You think I'm pregnant?"

"Aren't you?" sniffed the mother, who Konohamaru felt sick to his stomach to know was actually on the verge of tears.

Hanabi paused, and felt herself blush despite it all. Despite the fact that she was being accused of sleeping with someone as repulsive as Konohamaru, the prospect of someone thinking she was pregnant gave her a certain prideful glow.

"No. She isn't." Konohamaru cuts off Hanabi's blissful moment of running with the idea of actually tricking the woman in front of her to feed her fantasy of what it feels like to be treated as a pregnant woman. Hanabi instantly deflated and pouted nastily as if someone had just told her she couldn't get a second serving of her favorite rice pudding.

"No, I'm not." Hanabi agreed toward the mother, who looked ten times more relieved. All of that pale color left, and Hanabi saw some red coloring adjust itself back onto the worried mother's face.

"But you were talking about-babies."

"The twins." Konohamaru clarified. "Naruto's kids."

"My nephews. My Nephews, not his." Hanabi needed to clarify toward a mother who was now taking a breath of complete relief.

"A-are the twins ok? Why is the heiress coming over at five-o-clock in the morning…to talk about the twins?" Konohamaru's mother asked nervously while taking tentative glances over at the petite woman that was making herself comfortable in the Sarutobi home. Konohamaru sent the heiress a wary look of his own before turning to his mother.

"Because she's fucking crazy."

This deserved the same angered glare from both women.

"Konohamaru!" hissed his mother, while Hanabi shrugged.

"I get that all the time. He's so rude to me." Hanabi tattled shamelessly.

"Will you cut it out? And stop eating our food." Konohamaru snapped, yanking the fruit away, and causing Hanabi to cry out.

"Can you believe this guy? I'm setting him up with eligible bachelorettes and this is the thanks I get?" Hanabi whined.

"Wait, what?" Konohamaru's mother's eyes lit up in that way mothers do when she hears of her son getting some well-deserved probable action. "You…are interested in girls Konohamaru?" Hanabi couldn't help but feel absolutely delighted when she heard Konohamaru's own mother ask him this question. She smothered her giggles of glee behind a girlish hand and sent him a look that made him realize he would never win an argument with her ever again.

"Wh-what do you mean? Why do you say it like that as if I…did you think I was a gay?" Konohamaru hissed toward his mother. Hanabi giggled some more behind her hand, and Konohamaru tossed the fruit back at her, which she easily caught. She also stopped her laughter and returned to sneering.

"Hey, watch it pal. This is your mom! She has every right to think you're gay, you act pretty gay-let's admit it. Starting with what you wear for pajamas." Hanabi pointed out.

"I… am actually concerned of this as well." Konohamaru's mother, Chiaki, confided this to Hanabi, who gave her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

Konohamaru looked down at his attire, and realized he made the big mistake of running out to defend his home from a burglary wearing his mis-matching pajamas. His pajama pants were fine, simply pale blue stripes pattern, but his shirt said…

'Let's party!' In dramatic Katakana with a picture of a bear in a party-hat looking like he was ready to hump some poor unfortunate bear (doubtful a she-bear would want to hump that shit). It looked… well, amazingly chippy and happy- it was gay in the sense that it was way too gloriously happy.

"It's a funny shirt." Konohamaru explained weakly.

"I don't find it very funny." Hanabi commented to his mother, who nodded sadly.

"He loves that shirt. He complains if I don't wash it right."

"You wash his laundry?" Hanabi hissed. "He's a grown man, tell him to do his own laundry."

Chiaki gave Hanabi a good, long, hard look-over and appreciated Hanabi's views. Konohamaru saw his mother lightly touch Hanabi's upper arm and nod.

"I think I will."

"HEEEEEY!" Konohamaru now stood on his feet and glared at the two women. "You-" he pointed to Hanabi. "Get out of my house. And Ma-" he turned toward his mom. "forget this whole incident ever happened."

"You don't tell your mom what to do!" snapped Hanabi before Konohamaru could get a control over the situation, and Chiaki, now very much siding with Hanabi chorused.

"I agree! Konohamaru-you're really walking on thin ice here!"

"You tell him, mom!" Hanabi crowed.

Konohamaru couldn't believe this was happening. Someone wake him up from this fucking nightmare

"This sweet girl is providing you with dates. I've never seen you with women-this is…big news! Really wonderful news. Oh, Miss Heiress…"

"You can call me Hanabi." Hanabi said kindly, and Konohmaru balked.

"Hanabi-chan, you come anytime you please. I insist."

"Oh mom." Hanabi said cutely smiling, "Thanks, I'd love to."

"And you! You be nice to this lady, she's giving me hopes for some future grandchildren." Konohamaru's mother snapped harshly.

"Oh don't you worry, Sarutobi-san, by the end of this year you'll be dealing with a real pregnant chick, I promise."

"Thank you, Hanabi-chan, this is exactly what Konohamaru needs."

"I think so too, mom. I think so too."

"I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming. Tell me I'm just dreaming." Konohamaru begged, but his plea was ignored, as he then heard his mother suggest that Hanabi join the Sarutobi family for breakfast.

To be continued...