Away from her
The red light of the sun is caressing the top of trees. This is one of the last days of the summer. Sometimes it can be felt, the coming winter's cold air, the wind is sweaping away the yellow leafes under the leafes once were there, on the top of the trees and giving pride for them. Sounds of birds can be just rarely heard. The winter claims it's place in the circle of nature. The dark winter will change soon the red lights of the autumn. Forgetting, it can be like this? – Fiona asked herself. But it's not time yet for her to loose memories. She is a strong women in her 50's who has to face the fact now, that soonly she won't be able to remember for this day or for her husband's face. In the kitchen she already has to put small notes, to remind her, in which drawer she keeps the spoons. And now she is standing here at the window of her room with the thought that this maybe one of the last moments when she still can husband, Grant will be home soon and they go for their daily walk as always. She changes her clothes and goes outside to wait for him there. Soonly she hears the sound of their car and she can see the face of the man with whom she shares her life since 44 years. 44 years can just disappear in the mist of forgotten? Grant seems to be desperate, he just visited a place for the people who has Alczheimer diseases. It was Fiona's wish. She doesn't want her husband to see every day how her condition is getting worst and worst. But Grant still can't accept it, that she wants to leave their home. Fiona knows, this will the best for both of them . She holds her husband's hand and they start their walk in silence under the trees, however their thoughts are the same. Will they be able to get used to the changes around them? Surely not, maybe just accept them, accept that life has it's own way and nothing can turn it to another direction. She holds his hand strong, these hand she knows so well, these hands built of their house with a lot of caring and love. These hands every night caress her hair and have been giving her safe since so many a day she won't remember to them anymore.
How could she forget his face on which she always so love and hope even in the hard times. This voice can't be forgotten, its giving such a peace for her every day. Is it possible to forget all these? –Fiona asks herself desperate. Grant, like he would read in her mind, breaks the silence.
-It doesn't matter if you will remember for things or not. It won't change my feelings to you, i will love you as much as i love you now, even you won't recognize me if i enter the door.
Fiona is slowly looking at her husband and says:
-It doesn't matter if i wont remember for our first date, or our wedding. Nobody can take away the feeling from me what i feel about you deep inside., even i won't be able to remember for our memories when im looking at you. I will keep this feeling forever, even i won't be able to express it.
Looking in each other's eyes they know it will be like this. They countinue their walk in silence again, seeking in their thoughts.
-I will have better days-Fiona thinks- when i will remember even for some seconds,when the memories come up to the surcafe from deep down. The deep down. This is the way how Fiona imagines the cemetery of her past. Where more and more pictures give themselfs for the forgotten and they fall down, deeper and deeper. And once the disease will reach the point from where she won't pick up her memories anymore even on her better is grateful for the Fate that she could have these memories and she will let them fall in the deep, after she said farewell for all of them, like they would be alive.
-Don't let everything disappear suddenly-asks Fiona to her husband. Take me to the places which were important for us, read for me from my favourite books, remind me who i am and where i came from. My future is full with doubts, and i will loose my past, but if you will be with me it will help me to stand it. Maybe you will be the mysterious stranger who will bring me flowers every day and visit me. Maybe i will fall in love with you again, but maybe not. Don't be sad even i won't fall in love again, because here inside i never stop loving you-says Fiona and put her husband's hand on her heart.
-I will be there every day with you to tell you the story of us, who were we and what we are now. I promise-says Grant.
The weather is changing to cold, they turn back to they way home. They are speaking a little more about their memories… Then silence coming again between us.
But the two hearts understand each other without words too. „Til death take us apart" they promised to each other. But now the Fate is building an invisble wall between them which will be higher and higher as time goes by. Fiona stops for a moment, she looks in the far. She tries to cant. Grant is looking her dear, and watches with pleasure how the rays of the sun are finding peace on Fiona's hair. And he knows she is away from away…