Disclaimer: Characters? No, no, All of Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I love my plot, though. That I'm taking credit for.
Enjoy. My Friend called part of this "Essentially soft porn..." so I laughed. And then made her read Disembark.
I stretched and shut my eyes, rubbing my face as I laid back against my headboard, half staring up at the ceiling, half watching the clock tick-tock until it had dissipated into a mindless noise and I had totally zoned out.
Tonight was the first time I'd been happy in a while. A very, very long while. My hands were shaking as I dropped the book beside her, as she had jolted into the present and her gorgeous eyes had locked with mine, and I'd had to ruin it. Fucking had to go and... Mess it up.
I couldn't remember what had happened, of course – I had never been able to after my episodes, but damn, it was getting difficult. I had been driving this time, and Bella had been in the car...
I could have hurt her. That was what made me so cold in the car, made me feel so unnerved and worried as I sat there and thought about how the evening had gone. She had been lovely, and kind and trusting, and I had just totally duped her into getting into a car with me and putting herself in danger without even knowing about it.
I shut my eyes and tried to get rid of the feel of the sting of the stitches in my skin – they itched when I didn't move and hurt like hell when I did – the strain on them worsening even more when I made the simplest conversation... hell, it was at the point that it was starting to hurt when I smiled. I swallowed, sighed and ducked my head, staring at my chest and the stupid superhero t-shirt I was wearing. It made me feel awkward and arrogant – I was no superman, I was merely stupid, pointless, and in my opinion, utterly defective.
But then I thought of Bella, and I wondered if she would listen. If she would push me away or she would listen and make me feel a lot more... wanted than I did around here. Since I found the courage to speak to her, since I realised I could be somebody totally different with her, I had to know. She couldn't find out until I was ready to tell her, and if I didn't tell her soon, I was screwed. It was a lose-lose situation, in my opinion, and I was panicking already, even though I'd only known her for a pathetic amount of time... I felt as though... it was different this time.
I sighed and slid down even further onto my bed, pressing my head against my pillow and letting out a loud groan as I wished for the ground to swallow me up and let me totally disappear.
My head was pounding and my eyes were hurting, and I assumed it was a migraine, but I couldn't even move to close my curtains. Every movement was sending me to hell and back, and I couldn't even turn the sun down so I could get some sleep in peace.
"Jasper?" I heard Edward's voice from far off, probably only down the hall, but it sounded as though the walls were thick and his voice was high and raspy. "Jazz, dude, are you going to get up, or are you just going to sit there like an idiot and look pretty... both of which you're doing pretty well... well, the girls would think so anyway."
And Bam, just like that, I was forgiven for yesterday, forgiven for my flippancy on Monday and forgiven for being an idiot. He didn't quite know what I had done, though, and when he did, he was probably going to kill me pretty dead. That sucked ass. A lot, to be honest with you, because if I were dead, I wouldn't have the chance to get to know Bella... and shit, that would suck.
"I've got a migraine." I muttered, shutting myself off for the day and hoping nobody would come in to try and find me. Total shit.
"And what? Never stopped you from going in before." He paused as he pushed my door open slightly and looked me up and down, "Though you've never looked that bad before either..." He sighed and looked over at my open curtains, probably looking out at the square that lay between our building and the next. "Okay, I'll make sure Professor Stevenson knows, and it'll be fine, won't it?"
"I guess so?" I didn't really know, did I? "She knows me quite well; she's my thesis advisor, so..." He laughed and I groaned, because the sound of his full guffaw made me feel even worse, my hands pushing into my eyes as I sighed and tried not to think about what was coming later. If I took any of the sleeping pills my last doctor had prescribed, I knew I would be out like a light for a while, but it wouldn't do the rest of me any good - being me, I knew I was headed for an epic set of dreams the next time my head hit the pillow, brain-leaking, mind-blowing, vivid and scary dreams that always came from driving.
"You gonna be okay, man?" He said softly as he crossed the room and drew the curtains for me, sighing and running his hand through his hair, "I could get you something from your box?" He pointed across to the wooden casket on my desk, it held anything and everything I could ask for and quite a few things in excess, I suppose... still, I didn't want to take anything that might make it worse... because I knew what was coming would be bad, and I knew that the things I would see were easily amplified by the horrid effects of whatever was in those stupid drugs.
Even though they were the drugs that, arguably, kept me alive and kept me... sane? Maybe, more likely kept me coherent and relatively normal. Still, I wouldn't make Bella see me like this - not until I had to, and then, it would probably be far, far too late.
Reluctantly, I closed my eyes and shut the world out, hoping those stupid dreams would just leave me alone, let me finally have some peace.
Waking up in a freezing cold sweat was something I was becoming thoroughly used to doing. My head was still sore, but the sleep had done it much better – in the end, I figured it could only be, at worst, the beginnings of another bloody migraine, and that, hopefully the long sleep would have let it slide.
This had been going on since the day I had met Bella, and every night it was the same dream. She was in the car with me, the snow coming down as I tried to navigate through the darkness and I just couldn't see. I kept driving, not knowing where I was or who else was on the road, until I saw the red lights too late, and I... well, the dream always stopped then, darkness overtaking me, making me wake up like this, frightened, cold and terrified.
Bella was getting worried, as were Edward, Damon and Emmett, who had spent the last four days trying to get me to go outside, with me terrified of the light and the brightness it was bringing. I was, apparently, now affectionately known as their 'little vampire', and I resented the term, though there was very little I could do about it.
It had been nearly six weeks, both since I had met her, and since the nights had become tiresome and terrifying, and to be honest, I was getting tired of it. There were dark circles under my eyes and my head was constantly pounding – to the point where I had taken to taping lectures with a borrowed Dictaphone and hoping I could catch up on some sleep in the lecture hall as one professor or another spoke at me, leaving me tired and a little broken inside and out. I sighed and tried to stretch, hoping that the buzzing sound was my phone vibrating, and not my brain shaking or a hummingbird trapped in my headboard.
"Jasper?!" Emmett's voice was deep and dulled by the wood that it came through, "Are you getting up? Today would be nice!" He laughed, "The girls are coming over in about an hour, right?"
Bella was coming over today. I had completely forgotten. We had arranged it the last time we'd been out to dinner, double dating with Damon and his girlfriend, she was going to come over and catch a couple of the new DVDs Edward had got for his birthday, along with Damon, Alice and Emmett's newest girlfriend, Rosalie.
"Yeah, I think so," I nodded, only realising he couldn't see me when I looked up at the door and he wasn't standing there, "I'm gonna shower, and then I'll be out..."
"Yeah, you might want to change your bed sheets too, lazy bugger..." I cringed as I thought about maybe having Bella sleep over tonight. I wouldn't try anything – we kissed, we messed around, but I sure as hell wasn't ready to do that, and by the way she cringed away from my lips as I ran my hand across her shoulders and under her shirt, I doubted she would be up for it either. Still, I would sleep next to her, hopefully, and that would be enough for me tonight.
"Alright! Alright!" I yelled out to him as I heard him bang twice on the door and laugh all the way down the corridor.
I dressed simply, as soon as I had organised my mind and body by showering and cleaning up everything I could think of, including my bloody windows and hoovering my curtains just to get rid of any and all of the dust that was there. My jeans were clean, well, as clean as a second-day pair could be, and my shirt was old, worn-out and comfortable, because I didn't want to be sitting uncomfortable for about six hours as we chatted, ate and generally goofed around.
I checked myself in the mirror quickly and stepped out into the kitchen, almost immediately getting sauce flicked at me as I stepped in to attempt to fix the burning mess Emmett had left on the stove, not paying attention to the high heat he had left the hob on.
"Emm!" I yelled, he stepped back into the kitchen and looked at me, "You can't cook! Why are you even trying?"
"Because your new girlfriend is coming over, douchebag! I want to be nice to her..." He laughed, and I was struck suddenly by the idea that he could poison us all, and we'd be none the wiser. Quickly, I picked up the saucepan and looked down at the wooden spoon sitting in it.
"Can I try it? Will it kill me?"
"Yes and just try it, moron." He laughed, waiting for me to taste it. I took a small mouthful of the stuff and coughed at the heat of it, although it tasted pretty good to be honest with you, once the serious burning on my tongue and my lips had cooled itself away.
I licked my lips and sighed, looking up as the buzzer rang in the hallway and Emmett looked at me, waiting for me to go and get it.
"Aren't you going to get that?" He asked suddenly, as the buzzer went again, and I jolted back to the present as its insistent ring perforated my eardrums.
"Apparently not," Edward muttered as he strode past the doorway and went to the entryphone. "Hello? Bella and co? Yes, okay, let them up..."
She was coming. She hadn't... she was coming!
Edward disappeared into his room as Bella and the others came through the door. I took their coats and led them through into the kitchen. I smiled as Bella looked longingly over at the food, and smiled as she saw the pasta sauce cooking on the stovetop.
"Can I?" I heard her voice but it looked as though she hadn't spoken. She was looking up at Emmett and smiling at him, her eyes wide. "It's one of my favourites."
I actually saw the mental fist-pump that went on behind his eyes. He was always insistent on looking after any girls that came to us for dinner, mainly because to him, it meant that we were serious about the relationship – not unlike bringing her home to your parents, it meant you were almost asking for embarrassing "when that idiot was drunk" stories, among other things.
"Sure, mind yourself though; it's a bit hot..." He grinned and surrendered the stove to her, and I couldn't help but watch her as she stepped between the pots, tasting and stirring lightly, a huge smile on her face all the time. When she turned around, Emmett had taken her seat, and she looked around for somewhere to lean or rest on. There were, inconveniently, no flat surfaces for her to sit on, and she sighed as she looked down at her feet.
That is, until I opened my arms for her to sit on my lap. She looked at me, almost stunned by my actions, until I raised an eyebrow in a slight challenge; sit here or on the floor. I grinned as she smiled back at me and settled herself on my knees, allowing me to put my arms around her waist and hold her there, her head dropping back onto my shoulder as her back pressed against my chest and her lips found my cheek.
She liked it, so I liked it. It was simple yet comfortable, and her comfort was paramount in this relationship. She'd told me things she didn't like saying to anyone, and that was what made me so sad for her, and yet... she trusted me and that shift in our dynamic was what was making me feel so guilty. She needed to know, and, I realised as she relaxed against me, making polite conversation with Emmett and Alice, she needed to know tonight.
-Four Weeks Before-
"Listen... Jazz..." She looked up at me from her seat in the cushy chair at Davison's, the tiny, independent bookshop that was secluded off campus in the back streets of the main town. "I think we need to talk about something."
We need to talk? Nonononono. Bad. Bad...
I immediately sat back down, still holding my copy of Othello and looking at her, terror marked across my face. She must have read my expression quickly, because her demeanour changed and the terrifying serious expression was suddenly gone from her face.
"No!" She said, with a soft laugh, "I don't mean... bad-bad-let's-not-date sort of thing..." I let out an audible breath and she giggled lightly, "Although you do realise that in two weeks we've been on about five dates? It's very interesting how much you want to sit with a moron like me," She laughed.
"You're not a moron," I reached over slowly to run my hand down her cheek, "And is it five? It feels like so many more..." She let out another giggle, and I realised she was nervous... probably not the best time to mess around, to joke with her, then... I moved my hand towards her shoulder, and she twitched nervously, letting out a soft squeak that told me she wasn't comfortable with the swiftness of my hand. "Sorry!" I slowed my hand down and slid it down her arm, then into her hand, squeezing it tightly.
"That's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about." She murmured, not looking at me, but keeping her eyes cast down at the book in her lap. It was Kerouac, one of her favourites and she clung to it as she looked up at me and watched me with fear apparent in her eyes, clouding them and making me feel thoroughly useless – I was afraid to touch her as she looked up at me, scared she would want to leave me because I frightened her.
"Go on," I spoke and she reached out for my hand. I let out a gasp as her cool skin touched mine and she brought my fingers up to eye level, staring at me and poking at them, pulling them lightly until she found the strength to speak.
"When I was a child, my father left my mother." I knew that. "And he remarried, about two, three years later. I was nine, and I didn't realise that a new mother meant a new brother too." I knew she had a step-brother too. "His name was Lewis. And... Well..." She closed her eyes and looked at me, "There are scars, Jasper. I have a lot of scars from a lot of things that he did to me, and he did them because he hated my father... and I was the only thing he could damage that he thought would damage him." She looked at me, her eyes widening almost to the size of the coffee-rings that were burned into the wooden table beside me.
"That's not a problem, Bella," I reached forward and she flinched away, "I'm just going to take the book, okay?"
"Y-yeah," She nodded and I wondered if remembering that time had brought down a couple of the desensitised walls she had built up, I wondered if she could see his face when she looked at me, and all of those wonderments frightened me because I was suddenly scared that if she associated me with him, I would never be able to hold her the way I wanted to. I swallowed and looked down at my lap.
"You know I'm alright with that, don't you?" I asked as I slowly took the book from her hands and she stared at me, wide eyes pretty and watching me with tears building up in the corners. "Not with the fact that it has happened, and to you especially, but with the fact I'll have to...I don't know, to... to earn your trust, physically."
"It'll come, I know," She said softly, "But hell it's frustrating, you know?" She sighed, "And by the way," She added after a few moments of silence, "I do want to kiss you, I'm not a frigid bitch... it's just a little bit complicated..."
"Really?!" I winked at her, "Well, I guess I'll have to unravel you..." She let out a tiny laugh and looked up at me as I rose, dragging my hand up her arm slowly as I pulled her gaze up to meet mine. "Bit. By. Bit."
I felt her shiver, a smile on her face as she closed her eyes and leaned into the hand that rested on her shoulder lightly, her head resting on my forearm as she took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair, looking up at me through her eyelashes and making me want to do the same thing. Her lips curved into a smile as I asked and she relaxed even more as my fingers loosened and ran through her soft hair, making her giggle as I lightly scratched her scalp.
"I kinda like that," She said as she sat there, my hand still touching her shoulder, and I moved a little bit closer to her. She reached out her other hand to me and I took it in my own, lacing our fingers and touching her cheek with the back of her hand. Her eyes fluttered closed and she let out a breath, her fingers loosening on mine and dropping away from my hand. "I feel better now." She sighed, blinking her eyes open. "You're good at this."
We ate stupidly quickly, Edward joining us for long enough to pick up some food and then disappear back into his room. His avoidance of both Emmett and I, and our guests was just getting rude, and it was more annoying that he hadn't given us a real and proper reason for it.
"Is he okay?" I heard Bella ask Emmett as the door rattled on the hinges and dragged me back to reality. In reply, Emmett simply shrugged and sighed, knowing exactly what was wrong, and exactly why he had chosen not to mention it to us.
Bella was his problem, and I couldn't tell her so, because that would clearly lead to both awkward questions and a row. And I wanted neither, tonight. I wanted tonight to go over well, and for us to watch a couple of movies together, all of us, as a group, being friends, making friends, and having a really, really good night. But he wouldn't and couldn't let that happen, and all because of Maria. Maria, his sister. Maria, my ex-girlfriend. Maria, the girl that... I... hurt. Irrevocably.
"Jasper?" Bella was looking at me from the doorway, "Do you want a drink?" She frowned as I did, and I watched the slow movement of her lips as she bit her bottom lip and her expression darkened with the slow shake of my head.
"I should be asking you the same thing, silly girl." I winked and got up, trying to smile, though her face told me it hadn't come out quite right.
"Are you okay?" She raised an eyebrow and bit her bottom lip again as she looked at me with fear in her eyes.
"Yeah." I nodded, my eyes looking everywhere but at her. "I just... it's nothing." She looked up at me and nodded, though the smile that had been on her face only a minute ago was gone, and had been replaced by something akin to pity.
I didn't like that look at all. It made me feel awkward and made me feel uncomfortable, and I felt stupid for even thinking of replying like that.
"Come and sit down," I said to her, waving my hand at the sofa, "I'll get the drinks – it's not your... it's our place, we should be waiting on you." She raised an eyebrow, but looked over at both Alice, then Damon. Both of them smiled at her and, taking her cue from them she nodded silently at me.
"Okay." She smiled, looking up at me with a small smile.
I stepped into the kitchen and was practically confronted with Edward. He crept around like a cat most of the time, and usually, we were alright with it, but this was just a frightening concept, to have him appearing in the kitchen, somewhere where sharp and dangerous objects were ever-present, like a flipping ninja.
"That was nice." He said simply, his eyes dark and the scowl on his face evident. "What you did there."
"It's only natural, you know, looking after someone you care about."
"New concept to you, isn't it?" I won't reply. I won't. Damn, I won't.
Without another word, his exemplary parting shot delivered, he stole out of the kitchen with a bottle of beer, and the only way I knew he was done with us for the evening, was via the loud slam that echoed through the hallway into the living room.
Bella wasn't the only one staring at me as I stepped back into the room and sat down on the couch beside her, drinks forgotten as I closed my eyes and felt Bella wrap her arms around me. Right now, that was all that mattered.
"Are you and Edward alright?" She asked after five or so minutes of silence in the room, when the opening sequence for an old James Bond film was careering on around us and Emmett had curled himself up in the corner with a glass of wine and a bag of sweets. The boy was weird, but it seemed to work for him – there was almost always a girl hanging around the place, almost begging for some action with him, and yes, for about four months I had been jealous, but...
"Yeah, I guess so," I looked down at Bella; she was curled up almost in my lap and had her head against my chest. Her eyes were closed and she looked so damn comfortable that I didn't want to tell her, or to ask her to move. I would have felt despicable, forcing her to get up, to go places. "I think he just has a stick up his arse." She let out a muffled giggle and I smiled to myself.
"Well good." She sighed and I rolled my eyes lightly. "This Bond's not good," She whispered, "I mean, I'm all for superspies and secret agents, but..." She sighed, "Sod Daniel Craig, Pierce Brosnan all the way."
"Excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow as she looked up at me, smirking, "With me in the room?"
"Touché." She sighed and resettled against me, holding onto my arm and almost sucking the life out of it. Occasionally, she would giggle, no doubt insinuating some perverted innuendo from the spoken words onscreen. Half an hour into the second movie, I realised her breathing had levelled out and she was almost snoring on my shoulder. Trying to regain the feeling in my fingers, I lifted my arm and slowly uncurled her fingers from my wrist. "Jasper?" Her voice was so quiet that it made me jolt in surprise, "Sorry, did I-"
"It's okay," I smiled down and ran my fingers down her arm, "Are you alright?"
"Just tired." She whispered, sitting up straighter but keeping her head against my shoulder, "I might go home..." I didn't want to let her go.
"No!" I heard myself yelp aloud, and four heads turned to look at me, Emmett's sweets falling to the floor and scattering across the lino as he flung his hand out, terrified that he had lost his sugar high. "Sorry, continue," I laughed as the others turned around and focussed back on the T.V. and she squeezed up against me, holding my hand once again. "You can stay over here, if you want?" Another pause, "I mean, you can have my bed..." She tensed in my arms, "I'll sleep on the sofa, or something."
"I can't do that," she said in a light whisper, "I don't want to take your bed."
"You're not. I offered it, I'm sure there's a difference in there somewhere."
"That's semantics," she muttered, "Either way; you've lost your bed."
"Not true," I said softly, but she rolled her eyes at me and waited patiently for me to cave in. It really did not take me long. "Fine." Another pause, "But you're not allowed to go home. Sleep with me?"
Her expression told me that had come out wronger than wrong.
"I meant... you know, stay with me? In my bed... not, you know... actually doing anything?!" She rolled her eyes at my spluttering once again, and I quirked my eyebrow straight back at her. "Very collected for someone who's just been propositioned." I let out a 'hmm' and she smirked back at me, her lips full and pouty and making me want to attack her just a little bit. She grinned at me in the semi-darkness of our shared living room, and took my hand, pulling me up and looking over at Alice and Damon quickly. Damon had his eyes trained on me, warning and willing me onward, I could tell, because though his eyes were hard, the smirk tugging at his lips was more than enough to make me smile back at him. His little nod was enough for me to whisk Bella into my arms and pull her down the hall toward my room, out of the way of Emmett's prying eyes, and Edward's murderous mood – and everyone could feel that if they crossed within fifty feet of him.
As soon as I closed the door behind us, she pulled me to her, another side of Bella that was pretty much continuously astounding me. She stumbled and I caught her in some weird and awkward dance, her lips curving into a smile as she slammed back into the wall, her head smacking into the plaster with a noise like a whip crack.
"Jesus, Bella, you'll hurt yourself!" I slowly slid my hand around the back of her head, knotting my fingers into her hair. No blood. Thank god for that. The mood was broken but as I went to pull back, I felt her hands against my hips, holding me there. I fell forward this time, and flung my hands out, either side of her head so I wouldn't crush her.
"I'm fine." She murmured; her lips too close to my own. "I'm really, really good."
Her eyes flickered down to my lips, and I'm sure my own movements mirrored hers, as I licked my lips nervously. I had my hands either side of her head and now I was leaning forward as her hands dragged on my hips.
"Bella-" I could feel her breath on my bottom lip, her fingernails digging into me so hard I was sure she would leave marks. It was taking all my strength not to jump her right there.
I dropped my left hand and pinned her shoulder to the wall, she whimpered but my lips crashed to hers, peppering open-mouthed kisses on her lips, then along her jaw, down to her collarbone. She let out another whimper, but this time, it was lower pitched, almost desirous. Her leg hitched up to my hips and the hand it had displaced began to wander up my back and into my hair, effectively stilling my lips against hers, giving me no way to move away.
Not that I wanted to.
She let out a scream of surprise as I span her around and nearly threw her to the bed behind me. She stumbled back and fell onto the mattress, staring at me, looking straight into my eyes as I crouched between her feet, my hands stilled on either side of her knees.
"What was that?" She managed to splutter, half giggling, but honestly? I had no answer. So I did the thing any sane boy would do... and some crazy ones as well.
She shrieked as I landed on top of her, and I slapped my hand across her mouth, suddenly frightened we would get caught.
"Don't scream!" I squeaked, suddenly sounding and feeling terrified, pathetic and unmanly. She giggled and her hips shifted beneath mine and she groaned as I moved my hand from her mouth, balancing over her with my hands either side of her head, hoping I wasn't squashing her. There was a long silence, where we were both staring at each other, pressed together too close for our own good, then she took the initiative and practically tore the shirt buttons from my top, so my chest was exposed to her wandering hands.
"Are you going to kiss me, or not?" She said after a few seconds, my muscles still tense under her warm fingers, her lips just inches from my own once again. "Because if not-m-Mph!" She squeaked and I smirked into our connection as she squirmed underneath me until I broke the kiss, realising she could barely breathe.
She smacked me in the arm and scowled at me, but I dropped my head and kissed her lightly on the cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed and her scowl morphed into a smile, she bowed her head and shifted so our lips touched again.
"You're really silly," She whispered, "But I wouldn't have you any other way." Her fingers slid down the back of my neck and through my hair, and she giggled as she pulled my shirt away from me, discarding it down the side of the bed.
"You're really sexy," I returned, cringing inwardly because I sounded like a moron, "But I wouldn't have you-" Her lips slammed to mine again and I quickly forgot any hopes of seducing her.
Too late. She'd seduced me.
Two minutes of pretty concentrated fooling around later, I half wondered whether she was alright with this. Her hands were comfortable running all over me, but as I pulled away to breathe, her hands tightened against my forearms and her leg slid away from my hip.
"Jazz?" She murmured, her eyes staring up at me in the semi-darkness and making me wonder who she thought she was seeing.
"Bella," I managed to growl, trying not to mess with her as she laid there, vulnerable, "I'm here. And I'm going nowhere."
There was a short pause, and we watched each other for a long minute. She had incredible eyes, and I loved to watch them, every moment of her life, every thought was trapped in them, and I loved it. It made me want to unravel it, to know it and to live it. She breathed out and pulled my lips down to hers again, her knee sliding up so her foot was running up and down the back of my leg.
"Stop," I pulled back, "Not now." I shook my head at her, and she managed to look put out. "I'm not doing this here, when they're all sitting out there watching James-bloody-Bond."
"Okay," She nodded against my chest and leaned back against the pillows, "Hell... Jasper..." My hand was still tracking up and down her side and she was giggling, pressing into it, almost demanding more. "Right," She hissed again as I touched my lips to the side of her neck. "I'm going to get a drink, Jazz. Where's your shirt? I'm not going out there in a bra."
We looked at each other for a long moment, then she burst into giggles and I was soon chuckling along with her, burying my face into her pillow, trying to inhale her as she rolled away and stepped to the kitchen.
Her presence was soon disturbed by that of Edward. I knew it was him – the silence was there, the air of darkness melting into the place as he stood by my door and looked at me.
"Have you fucked her?"
I looked up at him, still hugging the pillow to me, stunned at his bluntness.
"You're pathetic." He hissed.
"I said, you're pathetic." Another pause as he ran his hand through his hair and growled, "You've spent the past what, nine weeks? Messing with her, fucking with her head. You haven't told her you're broken, have you? That you killed my sister because you're fucking... epileptic."
Glass shattered. Somebody in the doorway. "I'm going to get a drink, Jazz." Intoxicating. Alcohol. Glass. Stunned. Bella.
"Excuse me?!" That voice was different, emanating from the doorway and making the pair of us wheel around in surprise. "Jasper?" I glanced up, barely daring to look at her as the flush on her body intensified as her tone changed to steely.
"I can explain-" I managed to blurt out, refusing, once more, to lock eyes with her.
"Oh! Please do!" She shrieked, then slammed her hand across her mouth, "Oh, god!" Her fingers slid along her lips, brushing against her cheek as she dropped them, "Why on Earth didn't you say?"
A silence where Edward directed a triumphant smirk at me, and I thoroughly lost it.
"Because you won't want me anymore!" A yelp and a gasp – one from me, one from her. "I'm broken!"
"How can you say that?" she sounded genuinely stunned.
"What are we?" I countered the question with a question, finding it far too easy to cringe away from the thought of her loving me. It shouldn't be like this, it should be easy, but telling her, surely, meant letting her go.
"I'm your girl," She said simply, then, more slowly as the hurt crushed her face, "And you're a liar."
"Sorry?!" This time, it was my turn to glance around quickly, worried that this fight would be our first – and our last.
"I said, you're a liar. Every time I've asked you what's up, this," She gestured between us, "has been playing on your mind, and I've just been too bloody blind to notice."
"It's a condition, Jasper. Lovesickness." Her hand clamped down over her mouth and she stepped back, "I'm sorry... I-I have to go." She turned, and sprinted away.
"Bella!" Alice's voice rang out through the flat and the door slammed soon after. There was a moment where everything seemed to freeze, then, "Jasper!" I cringed and rolled over, burying myself into the pillow and breathing in her shampoo.
I heard Emmett stepping into the room – obvious because of the sound of his flip-flops as he took a series of evasive steps around the broken glass and tapped his hand on the door frame.
"Whitlock!" Damon's voice joined Alice's and I felt a hand curl around my shoulder, "Front and centre!"
"Jazz, shirt on, shoes on, explanation." That was Emmett, staring between Edward and me, the former still leaning against my wardrobe, though now a look of horror, rather than triumph, was gracing his face.
Everything was going to hell, and I was driving the train.
A/N : Opinions ? Lots of people have this on alert... I'd like to hear from YOU ; ) xx