DISCLAIMER: The characters of InuYasha are not mine. They are property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. The vaguely mentioned character Vegeta and the ki scouter from DragonBallZ are the property and copyrighted material of Akira Toriyama, Toei Animation, FUJI TV, and is licensed by FUNimation. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

a/n: I've always wanted to write a crazy Fluffy and apparently crazy Fluffy has always wanted me to write him as this just took off. This was originally entered for dokuga_lj's biweekly one shot contest (horror, shot #42). I am pleased and honored to say it was awarded third place. I had so much fun playing with it and thought I might come back and add more if inspiration ever struck again, so I'm placing it off in its own little corner. Besides, I wouldn't really want this Fluffy mingling with my other more saner ones. :P

Illusions of Grandeur

"Would you just LOOK at that!" said a voice low with appreciation.

"We are! We are!" chimed in the others.

"Let's tap that!"

Sesshoumaru could do nothing but press his lips tightly together in an effort to keep his own opinion to himself. Ridiculous. One would think were he to suddenly gain self-voicing entities in his mind they would at least have something satisfying and worthwhile to say…

"I bet she tastes yummy."

"Come on…just blow a little harder wind…lift that skirt-thing a little bit more…"

He curled his hand into a fist, letting his claws pierce his skin. The sharp pain that came from his action silenced the voices in his mind for a moment, but also earned him a strange look from the hanyou who scented his blood on the wind. Sesshoumaru withdrew his claws and continued on as if nothing were the matter. A second later his brother turned his attentions back to the horizon and to their destination.

"Let's kick the imp."

Now that had to be the first helpful thought they'd had that day…though kicking the imp would have required him to turn away from the luscious view of the miko's backside and he did not really want to.

"Better yet, let's lick the miko!"

Internally, Sesshoumaru growled.

"Down boy!"

"No! You got it wrong. Up, boy!"

"It'd piss the hanyou off."

"And then we could beat him into a bloody pulp! The miko would be impressed by our might."

Not likely, Sesshoumaru replied in his mind as he was tired of being left out of the conversation.

"Oh, good idea, dog boy! Let's piss the miko off and then maybe she'll shoot us again!"

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes as the idea seemed more than appealing. That is what had started this…strangeness…after all. It was why he had been devoting a great deal of his time and energy and patience into working his way closer to her side. It had been his second time in her presence—

"THIRD!"

"No, I'm pretty sure we'd seen her a great deal many more times before this."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Well neither do you!"

-and he'd come to take the Tessaiga once more. She'd shot an arrow at him trying to hit the shard in his borrowed human arm and had ended up shattering his armor instead. He could still remember the feel of her energies as they burned across his body, exciting the dark fires within him. Shocked by his physical reactions to the attack, he'd turned his murderous attentions to the girl. Thankfully—now at least—his idiotic half brother had jumped up and saved her from certain death.

"It wouldn't have killed her. She's not human…"

"She is, too!"

"Whatever the fuck she is, I bet she'd look damn good down on her hands and knees before us."

Shocked by his loss of control, Sesshoumaru had left shortly thereafter…but the memories of the burning passions he'd sensed in her power remained and he found he could not get the human girl out of his mind. And that is when these...voices...started echoing their own crude ideals and wishes within his mind.

"We bet if you wet your whistle you could get over it."

"Yum. Miko pie."

Disgusting, Sesshoumaru replied as his eyes once more swept over the delicious and wholly carnal form of the angel walking just a few feet in front of him. As if she sensed his attentions, she glanced back over her shoulder at him, smiling sweetly.

"She taunts us! BITCH!"

Then the monk approached her, leaning in to ask her a question. Sesshoumaru found himself once again biting back a growl of disapproval.

"Tear his head off," the voices roared angrily in union. "He tries to take what is ours!"

"You're right," Sesshoumaru heard the miko reply to whatever the monk had been saying. Her voice floated back to him, surrounding and caging him with its beautiful tones. What would she sound like in the throes of ecstasy?

"Inuyasha, we should stop soon. That storm isn't getting any farther away and I'd like to have a fire tonight."

His brother stopped, sniffing the winds and looking towards the nearing storm. "Keh. Whatever," he answered dismissively but then immediately began scouting for a suitable place. "There's water not too far ahead."

"Oh! Bath time!"

Quiet, Sesshoumaru snapped.

*I*

Sesshoumaru stayed seated a good distance away from his younger brother and tagalongs. Jaken and Rin had taken themselves near the fire and Rin was chatting animatedly with the slayer and the kitsune. Inuyasha was on the opposite side of the camp, his ears twitching on his head as he listened for any dangers, and the monk spoke quietly to him. The miko—

"Oh hell yes!"

-was sitting apart from the others as she poured through her strange looking books. In the distance thunder rumbled threateningly and she raised her head to look to the hanyou questioningly. As if the half-breed could read her mind, he grunted. "It's safe enough."

"Rawr. Look at those legs…"

Sesshoumaru watched as she stood and began digging around in that atrociously colored pack of hers.

"Screw the legs! Look at that ass!"

"WE WANT SOME TAIL!"

"She doesn't have a tail, stupid."

"It's another word for some ass, idiot. We want to get laid!"

"Oh. Yes, yes we do. Sic her, dog boy!"

A quick sniff of the air revealed to him the contents of what she was gathering and Sesshoumaru forced himself to look away from studying her.

"Yes. Can't let the fool know we want his treat."

"She is not his! She is ours!"

Try telling him that, Sesshoumaru thought tersely as he stood. His sudden movement after hours of being immobile drew the attention of those around him. He cared not what they were thinking and did not respond to any inquiries as he turned and strode off into the darkness.

"Hey! Where are you going? The hot springs are in the OPPOSITE direction, moron!"

"BATH TIME! BATH TIME! BATH TIME!"

Fighting against his baser urges and the chorus of voices in his mind, Sesshoumaru took to the air and raced towards the coming storm. The winds picked up around him and chilling drops of water pelted against his overheated flesh. He landed on an outcropping, facing nature's wrath. Lightning split the sky and was followed soon by a rolling growl of thunder. Sesshoumaru answered with a snarl of his own as the voices in his head supplied images of the miko lying naked before him. Her hands were running appreciatively across the taunt planes of her abdomen towards those pert breasts. Her fingers were twisting and pulling at her nipples as her lips parted with a moan. "Sesshoumaru…," she whispered as the blue irises of her eyes darkened with desire.

"No," he said aloud, slamming his fist into a nearby tree.

The resounding crash as the tree was splintered into nothing was not as satisfying as he would have liked.

"Yes!" the voices in his head chanted back in union.

Unable to stop himself, he turned and flew back towards the others. Landing some distance away, Sesshoumaru located his target. The miko was at the hot springs now. Stupidly the girl had gone alone.

"We should watch over her."

"Yes and make sure nothing happens to her."

"Miko in water….miko soup."

"Hentai!"

"Same to you!"

Wishing there was some way to shut up the cacophony in his head, Sesshoumaru stealthily moved through the trees. The rains were coming now and the hanyou's senses would be dulled by it. Sesshoumaru smirked to himself. There would be no better time than to indulge now. Perhaps just a peek, just a taste, would rid himself of his fascination. Once he saw how truly hideous the human was without her strange clothing on he would be able to purge these feelings from his body.

"Not likely, dog boy."

"Cease! You will address me with the respect this one deserves or you will die," Sesshoumaru thought angrily and then he stopped. Why was he arguing with voices no one else could hear? And how in the seven layers of Hell was he to kill something that resided only in his mind without destroying himself?

"Dog boy is losing it."

"We agree."

This time Sesshoumaru growled aloud, but a rumbling of thunder disguised the sound.

"Oh, there she is!" the voices cried out with joy as the hot springs came into view.

Sesshoumaru stopped, using the darkness and thick foliage to conceal himself.

"What are you waiting for? SIC HER!"

"Yes, we're thirsty. Let's go lick some water off of her. We bet it tastes good…"

He remained where he was standing, shocked into stillness. The miko was just now removing the strange clothing she wore and piling it neatly aside. She was pebbled with a layer of goose bumps as her skin reacted to the chill in the night air and the coming rain. An appreciative purr rumbled from his chest as the strangely made yukata she wore was lifted off to reveal another odd contraption that kept her beautiful breasts bound high and tight. The miko stopped, her hands coming to cover her chest as her eyes searched the darkness.

"Nice going, dog boy!"

"Great! Now that she knows we're here…."

If it were possible, Sesshoumaru became even more statue-like. After a few minutes of quiet searching, the miko shrugged, more than likely summing up what she thought she'd heard to her own imagination. "Here there be dragons...," she murmured to herself as she began sliding the skirt down her legs.

"We are NOT dragons!" the voices yelled…and then they began panting in earnest as she bent over to step out of her skirt.

Sesshoumaru's tongue fell strangely silent even though the ridiculousness of their yelled statement needed response. The miko was removing her odd undergarments and he'd never seen a more entrancing sight.

Naked at last, she raised her arms above her head which caused her breasts to jut outward. Her fingers were running through her hair, gathering the lengthy tresses up atop her head to keep them from getting wet and exposing the delicious length of her neck to his eyes. Then, with one last glance around her, the miko began to wade slowly into the springs. The steam from the water curled up enchantingly around her body, chasing the chill away, and she sighed softly as she immersed herself.

"Wow," the voices in his head drooled.

"Yes," Sesshoumaru found himself agreeing.

He watched as she began cupping water in her hands to pour across her chest. His armor suddenly seemed too constricting as his body reacted to the sight of her.

"You're wearing too much!" the voices chided him.

"How in the hell are we supposed touch ourselves with all this crap on?"

"Better yet how in the hell is SHE suppose to touch US with all this crap on?"

A slave to his obsession now and panting in time with the voices in his mind, Sesshoumaru hastily striped his armor from his person. He would worry about the consequences later…which only proved how troubled he had become.

He tossed aside the heavy plating with little care and ripped his kimono open. Raking his claws across his chest, Sesshoumaru hissed at the pain and imagined it was her nails tearing into him. The miko moaned as her dexterous fingers began self-massaging the knots from her shoulder muscles. Then she picked up the bottle that contained her body wash and soaped up her hands. She stood up, partially exposing her breasts once more to his eyesight.

"YES! YES! YES!" chanted the voices in his head as she began to clean herself.

Sesshoumaru moved his hand down to grabbed onto his raging cock. He began pulling on his turgid flesh with strong draws imaging it was her. He saw her hands moving slowly up and down his length while her lips smiled with carnal knowledge. The little miko would know exactly what she was doing to him…

"Uh, no. This is not working for us!"

"Sic her, dog boy!'

"We want REAL miko!"

As much as he did not want to admit that they were right, his fantasy did need a little bit more…reality. Hn. Closing his eyes, Sesshoumaru pictured the present scene in his mind instead as his hand continued to work over his cock.

He saw himself striding out boldly from his vantage point. She would turn towards him, her eyes widening with shock as he approached. In some vague attempt to appear modest, her hands would crisscross over her chest. "Sesshoumaru!" she would cry out.

"Yes. Scream our name," the voices said, beginning to enjoy this new fantasy of his.

"No! The hanyou might hear her!"

"And then that idiot would ruin our fun…"

"Grrr…"

Sesshoumaru would enter the water without pause and wade forward as the miko backpedaled in surprise. Her mouth would open and close-suggestively to his way of thinking at the moment-as she fought to understand why in the hell he was there. And if her eyes widened any further they might just pop out of her skull…

"Oh! Another hole to fuck!"

"You are a sick freak."

"WE are sick freaks."

"No. We're pretty sure you're the only one who would find that enjoyable."

Her back would come up against the opposite shore of the springs and the cold contact of the stone barrier would cause her to gasp. His hand would move to cover her mouth to keep her from screaming. The miko's body would be shivering from fright and confusion. He'd order her to attack him, but she wouldn't. Then he'd flash her with his crimson gaze and repeat himself.

"Oh! Dog boy's actually thinking of repeating himself!"

Wishing it were possible to scowl at oneself, Sesshoumaru went back to his fantasy.

He would press more firmly down upon the miko's mouth when she didn't follow his demands and he would be able to feel her plump lips against his flesh.

"We'd rather be feeling those lips in other places!"

"Yeah! Your fantasies suck, dog boy!"

Wanting to show her what he desired, he would warn her not to flee or cry out for help. When she nodded in understanding, his hand would very slowly lower from her mouth to her throat. It would seem so small and delicate to his much larger frame and his fingers would rub against the softness there.

"Can we lick her already?"

After a moment, his hand would move down to wrap around her wrist. The miko would cry out in fright then, not wanting to expose herself to his eyes. A blush, a mixture of embarrassment and anger, would cover her face. She would attempt to jerk her wrist from his grasp but her meager struggles would be futile as he was far stronger than she. She would whimper for him to stop, to go away, but her cries would lack conviction. He'd place her balled up fist against the expanse of his chest. Immediately her struggle for freedom would stop as her hand splayed across him there and her eyes opened with wonder now instead of fright.

"They are right, dog boy. You have NO imagination. As if she'd quit fighting against you just because you put her hand on your body. What do you think you are? The Kamis' gift to women?"

"Feel me," he would order her then and the miko would obey. Her touch would be light, even as he would be the first male to ever receive this pleasure from her. Sesshoumaru would take a deep breath then, causing his chest to rise and fall. Her eyes would race over his finely muscled form—

"Can we say arrogant?"

-and then her other hand would move to stroke him, too. "Wow," she'd whisper in appreciation.

"My. We are some vain fucks…"

With both her hands on his chest and abdomen, his view of her breasts would be unimpeded now.

"BOOBIES!"

As her excitement over touching him grew, her breaths would be coming in rising little pants. Each indrawn lungful of air would cause those precious mounds to jiggle and wiggle—

"Like that jello stuff she gave Rin one time!"

"Don't think about Rin at a time like this!"

-and her nipples would harden with growing excitement. She'd lean forward, brushing those pebbled peaks against his hot skin and hiss as excitement coursed through her body and straight down to between her legs. The miko would then look up at him in askance, not understanding what was going on, what she needed, or what to do next.

Taking control of her hand once more, Sesshoumaru would scrap her nails down his abdomen and into his hakamas. The miko would startle as she felt the heavy length of his arousal brush up against her fingertips, but she would also quickly catch on and wrap them around his length with a testing squeeze.

"FINALLY!"

Slowly he'd pump her hand up and down until she caught on to the rhythm. Then he'd release her to attend to her breasts with his teeth and tongue. Each draw from his mouth would make her moan louder and longer. A nick from his fangs would give his tongue a taste of her rich blood.

"Yum."

His hand he would slide down her wet back to cup her ass.

"We DO love that ass…"

He'd squeeze her plump cheeks and she'd squeak in surprise, pushing herself more solidly against him as her hand continued to move. Taking the hint he offered, her other hand would dip down into his hakamas and move to grab onto his ass. Her hand would knead him with abandon as she sunk down into his desires. Then he'd release a pleased thrum that radiated between them. "Now purify me," he'd order.

"What?"

"Burn, baby, burn!"

"You're insane!" the miko would cry out as he pushed his erection up against her lush body once more, but she'd do as he wanted.

"FREAK! YOU ARE A FREAK!"

"WE! WE! We are freaks."

"Speak for yourself!"

"We are!"

She'd close her eyes in concentration and Sesshoumaru would be able to see the manifestation of her energies as they swirled within her soul.

"So you're God-like now?"

"Or more like he has one of those ki reading things. A scouter, that's it!"

"Yeah! Like that one guy in that manga she brought back with her once for that little kitsune to read…"

"That Vegeta guy… He was so cool."

"So, hey, what's her power level?"

"It's...over 9000!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

The slow beginning burn of her purity would race up and down his length as her hand continued to thrust up and down without stopping. And the more she drew upon her holy energies, the higher his own black fires would blaze in return as they fought against the unnatural feelings she invoked. "Do not fear me," he would snarl as his control over this form began to weaken and his fangs elongated and dropped, his jaw stretching to accommodate the change.

The miko would whisper her awe and amazement at his beauty—

"You are such a bigheaded dog!"

"Yeah, literally, too."

"She'd more likely run screaming in fright. Have you ever SEEN what you look like when you change?"

-and then would come a scorching pain unlike any he had ever known as she released the entirety of her power upon him. The force of it would explode within him and his cock would erupt as he howled his pleasure out to the sky.

"Yeah. The hanyou is SURE to not hear that and not come running."

"If he DARES to interfere we'll just kill'em."

Feeling his balls tighten with anticipation, Sesshoumaru sped up the pumping of his hand as, in his mind, the miko continued to milk his spent cock. He finally came, biting his own lip to silence the groan wanting to spill forth, and then had to lean back as his strength was sapped.

"Wow. Was it good for you, dog boy?"

"Cause we'd definitely rather have the REAL thing."

"Shut up," Sesshoumaru ground out as he slowly regained control over his breathing. Opening his eyes, he immediately sought the whereabouts of his recent fantasy. The miko had removed herself from the waters and was dressing in those pajama-things she liked to wear.

"Are those cats she's wearing?"

"Oh the horror! Our miko likes pussy!"

"She just hasn't had a true taste of dog yet. We can change her!"

"Yeah, if dog boy would ever get up the nerves to go to her."

"COWARD!"

Righting his clothing and replacing his armor, Sesshoumaru remained where he was until the miko moved off to rejoin the others. Then he slunk off in the opposite direction to give the odors of his release time to dissipate before he had to be in his brother's presence once more.

"Well, there's always next time. We can get him then," the voices said with glee in his mind.

"Never. This Sesshoumaru shall never indulge."

"HAHAHAHA!" they laughed uproariously. "Never is a long time, dog boy."

"Yeah and you're one horny puppy."

"Hey, can we kick the toad now? That'd be fun, too."

"Oh yeah! And then the miko will see and be impressed by our might…"