AN:....so, I'm taking this Creative Writing class...and we had to write 'Fractured Fairy Tales'. I didn't really feel like making up new characters...so I just wrote a Hetalia story. This is like...the thrid Sparo Story I've writen where Romano doesn't kill himself or Spain. (Yes, I did write one where he killed Spain...but I never posted it.)
This was at first going to be UsUK...but I changed it at the last moment...becuase I couldn't think of how to describe Iggy's eyebrow's as beautiful. (Which is pretty bad...because I one time wrote a whole page on a half...describing EATING PEOPLE as being beautiful....it was another Creative Writing assigment).
Word count: 5,265
I don't own Hetalia, Beauty and the Beast, or anything like that.
The Beastly Beauty
Once upon a time, in a land far away there was a beautiful castle. In it there lived a happy king and a happy queen that only wanted a baby girl. Their story is really interesting, but this isn't about them at all. It's just always nice to check up on how others are doing. And it seems that this king and queen are doing well. So let's move on to the real story.
This story is really about a different land far, far away. It also involves a castle…but it doesn't have a king or a queen. But it did have a handsome prince! But as handsome as he was…he was rather annoying. The prince was tall, with dark brown hair that seemed to be neatly in place, but at the same time it looked like it never had been combed. His eyes were a deep rotten-apple green that seemed to show every single damn emotion he ever felt. The prince was a really nice man, normally. But he easily got on peoples nerves with his…hyperactive enthusiasm. And the prince, while having a good heart, was kind of…stupid.
One stormy day, an old beggar woman came up to the door. She held up a tomato plant.
"Kind sir…if you, like, give me shelter…I will give you this totally enchanted tomato plant." The prince looked at the woman for a moment and smiled.
"Sure! You can come in here and stay for as long as ya need!" The woman smiled and handed him the plant. Then she entered the castle. When she did, she soon found herself extremely annoyed with the prince and all of his servants. After the tenth time the prince asked her if she wanted to 'eat some lovely tomatoes' with him she had enough. She suddenly turned into a beautiful witch...thing. The witch was wearing a mini-skirt and halter-top that had glitter on it. She...or maybe it was a drag queen...whatever was also very young and had straight blond hair.
"Like oh my god! You are the most annoying person I have ever met, like ever! You know what; you are so annoying that I'm going to turn you into a beast!" She got out her magical wand.
"Why are you going to do that? Shouldn't that be what you do to people that have messed up personalities? You know, the kind of people that are all…angry and bitter?" The prince asked, grinning like he had won the lottery.
"Well…yes. But you are so, like, totally annoying that I have to turn you…and your staff into something!" The witch waved her wand. "There! Now you'll be a beast…and your staff shall…um…be…singing household items!" The prince laughed at this.
"Well, how can I stop being a beast then?" He asked, cheerfully, as if he wasn't being threatened. The witch got really angry with the prince.
"You know what? You have to, like, find someone that can love you for your totally annoying personality!" She gestured to the tomato plant that had five tomatoes on it. "You totally only have until all the magical tomatoes fall of the plant to find this love. If you don't…you will, like, remain a beast for-ev-er." The witch drawled out the world. She explained that the tomatoes would fall off once every two years, giving the beast ten years, to find someone that could love his annoyingly happy personality. And with that, the prince was turned into a hideous creature. This did not affect the prince too much, but his staff all cried, because who could ever learn to love someone so annoying and ugly.
Eight years later, in a village that was about halfway far away, but not too far away, from the castle, there lived a proud father. He had six children, because he slept around a lot and knew how to open women's legs. He had three rather good-looking sons, and three-drop dead beautiful daughters. The youngest daughter was the loveliest girl on the planet…but who cares about her? The middle son is the most important. He was the angriest, bitter, boy in all of the land. He had long brown hair that was straight one long strand of hair that curled out. He was very violent and liked to beat up his younger brother. Even with his horrid personality, he was very beautiful, so people called him Beauty. When people called him this, he smacked them so hard that they forgot what 'Beauty' meant. He was the most beautiful of all the man's children.
But because of his beauty, his sisters were very jealous of him. They wanted nice looks! As pretty as the three girls were, none were more beautiful as the boy-that –was-not-named-Beauty (His actual name was Romano). They didn't think it was fair that he got to be so beautiful…but had a rotten personality.
The family of seven lived in the town, and were quite rich. That is, until one day when all went wrong and the family went bankrupt. They lost all of their possessions except for a small house in the country. So the family packed up and moved out. The sisters were unhappy. They liked their rich lifestyle, their dresses and pearls and parties. The oldest boy adapted easily. The youngest two did not like this change. The youngest boy, Veneziano, was rather depressed, but he was normally a crybaby so it went unnoticed. The middle boy, Romano, was beyond angry with this. He didn't like to work, and he didn't like to have to live in a small house where he had to share a room with Veneziano.
The oldest boy and the youngest girl were the only two that actually worked and tried to make money. The other two girls scowled at the youngest girl and Romano. They both had the beauty in the family. Romano and Veneziano both lazed around the house all day, pretending that they were still in their big house in the city.
After a few months a message came that the family might have gotten some money again. So the children all asked for their father to bring them back something. The father had to go into town to collect the money and buy the children all the things they asked for.
The oldest boy asked for a new gun.
The youngest boy asked if they could have pasta again.
The oldest girl asked of dresses of silk.
The middle girl asked for a necklace of pearls.
The youngest girl asked if she could be sent off to school to get away from her family.
The middle child looked at his father before scowling.
"I want some tomatoes." He said, going back to the book he had been reading.
"Wouldn't you rather have a rose?" The father asked his middle son. Romano looked back to his (moronic) father.
"No. I want a damn tomato."
"Are you sure…roses are nice."
"I. Want. A. Fucking. Tomato." He said, before refusing to talk any more. The father nodded. He'd get his strangest son some tomatoes. He bundled up and started off.
He got to the town and found that it was a trap. He hadn't come into money…but he did get his nice warm coat stolen. He was then knocked out and carried to a random forest. When the man woke up, he found that he was lost in the strange woods. He got up and started wondering around, trying to find his way out of the forest. He soon came across a big castle and he entered it.
"Hello? Is anyone in?" He called. He wondered around, not noticing all the movement in the shadows. He wondered around until he found a room with a very long table, covered in food. He noticed that there was one plate at the tabled, with one goblet filled with wine. He went over and sat in the chair in front of the plate.
"Um…if no one's here…is it ok if I eat this?" He asked. When he received no answer, he took a bite of the food. Nothing bad seemed to happen, so he ate his fill. After he had eaten, he wondered around, seeing if he could find anyone else. He didn't seem to, and he started entering rooms. He eventually entered one with a bed, and he lay down for the night.
The next morning the man arose, and made his way back down to the long table. There was food laid out, with a map out of the forest. The man was very happy, and he quickly ate his breakfast and took the map.
"Thank you! This castle must have fairies living in it! For that is the only way that this can be possible." He then made his way outside; he wanted to get home to his family. Once he was, he noticed that the castle had many tomatoes growing outside it. He remembered Romano's one wish. He reached over and grabbed a few plump tomatoes. Then, in a split second there was a horrible looking monster behind him.
"Hey…that's not very nice!" The beast said. "I let you sleep in my bed and eat my food…and then you tried to steal my tomatoes!" The best looked sad, as if he'd just found out the world wasn't all sugar and rainbows. The man, on the other hand, was terrified of the beast. He fell to his knees before the creature.
"Please! Sir, don't eat me!" The man cried. The beast looked at him strangely.
"I wasn't going to eat you…that'd taste nasty!" The creature made a strange noise…that may or may not have been laughter. "But I would like it if you'd pay for what I gave you…I mean, because you did try to steal my lovely tomatoes." The man looked at the beast with an awkward look.
"But I have no money! I picked these tomatoes for my son…it was all he wanted." He held the tomatoes to his chest, making sure not to smash them.
"Well…then send one of your kids to work for me! Then I'll let you free of your debts." The beast…smiled (?) at him. The man sadly nodded, knowing he'd have to. The beast then lead him to the gate, and let him borrow a carriage, that would take one of his children back. The man wept at the thought of losing one of his children.
Hours later, the man returned home with just a few tomatoes and bad news. He called his children too him. He handed Romano the tomatoes.
"My dear children. I have horrible news!" The man said. Five of the children looked at him in horror. Veneziano was the first to talk.
"Did the world run out of pasta!?" He was then in tears. They all looked at the 'special' child. They decided to ignore him for the time being.
"Does this involve me?" Romano cut in, "because if not, I'd like to go eat these." He gestured to the tomatoes in his hand.
"Because of your tomatoes, one of you has to go work for a hideous creature!" The father said. He looked at Romano. Romano raised an eyebrow.
"How does this involve me?" The other children, minus Veneziano, all looked at him like he was crazy.
"They're your tomatoes! That mean's that you go!" The oldest sister said. The second sister then went and packed Romano's bag. Then the two of them and the oldest brother started pushing him out the door, and into the beast's carriage. They didn't care about giving their brother to a beast. Maybe next they could give Veneziano to a giant, and the youngest sister to a witch that lived in a house of candy…
Romano cursed as the carriage started moving, and taking him away from his family, and to the beast's castle. One the carriage stopped he stepped out.
"Stupid sisters…feeding me to a damn beast." He mumbled. He walked inside the castle and saw the same long table. He looked at the food on it.
"Chi," he scoffed, "That food's lame…it looks nasty." He said to the fine stake and shrimp on the table. After he said this, he saw the same creature that his father had seen.
"Oh? You know like it?" The beast asked him, in an annoying happy voice. "What do you like? I like my servants to be well fed!" Romano wanted to hit the beast.
"Has anyone ever told you that you have an annoying voice…and you're ugly?" He asked, in a bored tone. What the hell? This was the 'scary' beast that his father had described? The beast seemed to laugh.
"I get told that a lot! Now, what do you like to eat? I'll have my cook make it for you! Then I'll show you your room, and you can get changed!" The beast was acting as if this was a slumber party…a really fucked up slumber party.
"I like tomatoes…." Romano murmured. They were his favorite food, which no one ever understood. The beast smiled at him.
"Really? I love tomatoes too! We can have as many as you want!" The, brown furred, greened eyed, beast then picked him up and spun him around. Romano tried to get away from the beast.
"What the hell! Let me go you bastard!" He struggled. The beast made that strange laughing noise again.
"Awww~ You are so cute!" He claimed setting Romano down. "And really pretty!" Romano hit the beast's shoulder as his face turned red.
"S-shut up!" He avoided eye contact with the annoying creature.
"Awww! You look like a cute red tomato!" The beast gestured to Romano's red face. Romano glared at the friendly, annoying beast.
"I'm not cute," he murmured. "And I'm not hungry anymore." He wanted to get away from the beast. The beast grabbed the teapot that was on the table.
"Show…him to his room." He joyfully told the pot. The pot didn't move. Romano looked at the beast like he was crazy.
"Why are you talking to the silver?" He asked. The beast seemed to ignore Romano.
"Oh! This isn't the teapot that can move…I guess I'll just show you to your room…what did you say your name was?" The beast took his wrist and started leading Romano to his room.
"Romano," he told the beast.
"That's such a cute name!" The beast gushed. His beastly green eyes seemed to fill with joy. He dragged Romano to a room and opened it.
"Here's your room! I put your uniform in the closet…it's what you should start wearing tomorrow." The beast then shut the door. "Good night!" He called.
Romano looked at the closest. He growled under his breath as he looked in it. Once he saw the contents, he screamed. What was in there was a green dress, which seemed to have a white apron tied around the waist. It also had a matching white bonnet. Romano went over to his door and threw it open.
"You! Beast! Get back here!" He screamed. He was going to have a word with that bastard. The beast heard Romano and ran back to his room to see what was the matter.
"Romano, what is it. Did your mirror hit on you?" He remembered the mirror in that room was rater perverted. Romano narrowed eyes at the beast.
"My mirror? Why the he-…never mind. What the hell did you put in my closet?" Romano balled his hands up in a fist.
"Why, it's what you should wear to clean!" The beast said happily, "isn't it cute?" The strange creature's eyes seemed to sparkle like broken green beer bottles on a sunny beach.
"I am not wearing a dress." Romano said. He crossed his arms over his chest. Just before the beast could say anything, a voice came out of Romano's room.
"Just go naked!" the voice said, "It'll be nice." The beast frowned and steeped around Romano and into the room. Romano walked back in, wondering where the voice came from.
The mirror had gained a mouth and two eyes. The beast looked at the mirror, as if he was going to scold it.
"Francis…that's not funny. Romano is my newest cute servant! You can't look at him naked…even if you are the mirror!" The mirror then laughed. Romano wondered if it was too late to run away.
"But look how cute he is!" The mirror, named Francis said. The beast sighed.
"Please behave, Francis." He asked, before turning back to Romano. "You'll find that most of the things here are alive…just talk to them like you would to me!" The beast smiled at Romano. "Now, I'll leave you. Good night!" The beast smiled and left the room. Romano glared at the door.
"Hun, that's not going to do anything, now…how about you change? And slowly get dressed...show off your body." The mirror said. Romano turned and shifted his glair to the talking mirror.
"I'm not getting changed in front of you! You perverted asshole!" He grabbed one of the sheets off the bed and threw it over the mirror.
"Hey! I can't breath!" Francis the mirror claimed. Romano scoffed at him.
"You're a mirror. You don't need to breath." Romano looked back in the closet and found that the beast had put a red pair of pajamas in the closet as well. He grumbled and slipped them on. Then he got into the (comfy) bed and went to sleep.
The next morning Romano woke up to a tea pot in his face.
"Hey! Get up!" The teapot said to him. Romano looked at the strange thing, not knowing what was going on. Why was a teapot talking-?
"That wasn't a damn dream!?" He half shouted. So he really was in a castle with an annoying beast and a perverted mirror?
"Owww! I think you broke my ear drum…or you would have if I had ears." The teapot said. Romano groaned. He glanced to the teapot. It was brown with a yellow lid. The handle on the lid was in a strange shape that wasn't normal. It was almost like a cowlick, actually. The teapot turned its blue eyes at Romano in a glare.
"You shouldn't have been in my face, then!" He said, picking up the teapot and putting it on his nightstand. He sat up in bed, not wanting to get up and wear that dress. The teapot scowled at him.
"Hey! Don't lift me! I'm too heroic to be lifted!" The teapot claimed.
"Heroic?" Romano asked, going to his closet. He lifted the dress out. "Turn around." He told the pot. The mirror was still covered. When the teapot turned around, Romano started to get dressed.
"I'm a hero…though, right now I'm a teapot…but I'm still a hero!" The pot claimed. Romano scoffed again.
"Whatever. Just get me some tea." The pot then turned to face him.
"I don't have tea!" He said, steam coming out of his spout.
"What kind of teapot doesn't have any tea?" Romano wondered out loud. Especially a living teapot.
"I hate tea…" The pot told him, jumping down to the floor.
"You're a teapot that doesn't like tea?" Romano asked. "That's stupid. That stupid bastard of a beast would have a teapot that hates tea." The pot narrowed his eyes at Romano.
"You're stupid!" He claimed. If the pot had arms, then it would have been crossing them in a pout. "But I'm supposed to lead you down to breakfast…so just come on!" The pot started…hopping out the door. Romano followed the pot. Soon they were down to the dinning table. Sitting on one side was the beast. Right next to him was the only other chair that was set up, with a plate in front of it.
"Hola, Romano!" The beast said cheerfully. "…Try to have some breakfast!" He gestured to the black lumps on the table.
"What the hell is that?" Romano asked, sitting next to the beast.
"Haha, I think it's steamed tomatoes…. but the stove can't cook well." The beast laughed and ate another…thing, "but you'll get use to it." Romano looked at the beast angrily.
"Let me get this straight, you have a mirror you can't look into, a teapot that hates tea, and a stove that can't cook?" What kind of fucked up castle was this? The beast laughed.
"I also have a painting that's really hard to see, and a feather duster that's too awesome to clean!" The beast seemed to find this amusing. Romano wanted to smack the beast. Hard. He tried to eat a bit of breakfast…but he couldn't even swallow it. After breakfast, the beast told Romano that he would be like the maid, because the feather duster didn't like to clean.
Romano set off to start cleaning the castle. But he didn't do well with this, as he kept breaking things. After trying to clean he had dinner with the beast (Not cooked by the stove) and then went to bed. This was Romano's routine. Every morning he would get up and have breakfast with the beast. Then he would spend most of the day trying to cleaning, then eat dinner with the beast, and finally go to bed. Though his days as the maid, he met many of the beasts 'workers'. He met the white feather duster that didn't want to clean because he was 'too awesome'; he accidentally discovered the painting that no one could really see. When Romano had discovered this, the painting said its name was Matthew. He found more ways to keep a sheet over Francis the mirror, and he finally met the stove that couldn't cook. He told the stove off, and the stove got mad and refused to cook for days. The whole castle was rather happy about that. He saw more of the teapot that hated tea, and he also met one of the teacups. The teacup seemed to think it was going to grow up into a teapot someday. It took awhile, but Romano eventually got use to the workings of the castle, and actually started to like it there.
But there was one big change, which made the experience the best. During dinner and breakfast, Romano and the beast would talk. The two found that they had a lot to talk about, and eventually, Romano started to look past his horrible appearance and annoying personality. He still found the beast quite annoying…but it was an endearing annoying.
The beast had started to worm his way into Romano's tightly guarded heart, and Romano had started to fill the beast's mind. So much, that the beast knew that Romano had to be the one to break the curse. The beast didn't mind being a beast…though he did miss his opposable thumbs. He glanced to his tomato plant, looking at the one last rotting tomato. He sighed; he needed Romano to love him back. Perhaps the younger boy did…and just didn't show it? The beast needed to check. He would do anything to get Romano to love him, not just for the spell, but because he loved the boy.
So he gave Romano his own tomato area in his yard. Romano looked at the beasts offer and looked at the monstrous creature.
"Ok, what's the catch?" The beast looked confused.
"You know, why are you giving me this? What do you get from it?" Romano crossed his arms over his chest. The beast looked…almost sheepish.
"Romano, I…I love you and I just want you to be happy." The beast admitted. Romano looked at him, almost glairing.
"What the hell!" He asked. "You love me!?" Romano tried to deny that his heart was breathing faster. The beast nodded.
"I love you, my little tomato!" He beast grabbed his hand, "Marry me!" Romano flushed tomato red.
"W-what?" He asked. The beast wanted to marry him? Why would the beast want to?
Romano had gotten closer to the creature since he'd been there. But marrying the creature? He didn't know if he'd be able to put up with the beast's personality for that long! And not many people could stand his own angry personality…who was to say that the beast wouldn't realize this later.
"Marry me, Romano!" The beast said happily. Romano froze up. What should he say? The beast seemed to notice Romano hesitating.
"Why don't you go to see you family and talk it over with them?" The beast asked. Maybe Romano's family could help. Romano shot down that idea.
"I don't want to see my family!" Romano scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. The beast laughed.
"That's the sprit! Let's go get the carriage to take you home! But please come back, I'll be heart broken if you don't." The beast started half dragging Romano to the front gates. He wanted Romano to marry him. He loved the angry boy (personality and all) and didn't want to lose him. He hoped that maybe seeing his family would make Romano tell them all about how he was, and then they could talk Romano into marrying him.
"I don't want to see my stupid family!" Romano shouted at the beast, trying to get his arm away from the pulling beast.
"Oh, Romano~" The beast sang, "You do too! You're so cute when you're being shy~" They finally got to the front gate. The carriage came up and the beast placed the angry boy in the carriage.
"Have a good time…and please remember to come back." He blew Romano a kiss as the carriage doors closed and it started off to Romano's childhood home. The beast hoped that Romano would be back.
Romano arrived at his old house and knocked on the door angrily. He didn't want his family to see him in a dress. His father opened the door.
"Romano!" He said, pulling his cross dressing son into a hug. "Did the beast let you come home?" He started pulling the boy into the house. Romano tried to escape his father's grasp.
"He told me to come see you guys, for some reason." Romano said, after he finally escaped his father's arms. The rest of his family soon filed into see him.
The two eldest sisters were filled with jealously. How come Romano got nice dresses, when they didn't?
The eldest brother tried to hold in his laughter as he saw his younger brother in a dress.
The youngest daughter had run away, eaten a poison apple, and got woken up by a prince, and then married him…so she wasn't there.
The youngest son, who was also in a dress, ran up and hugged Romano tightly.
"Ve~" he squealed. "Romano, you look so pretty!" Romano tried to get out of his younger brother's arms.
"Veneziano, why the hell are you in a dress?" Romano asked, looking at his brother. Veneziano smiled.
"It makes me feel really pretty!" He sang. "But you're in a dress too, so I'm not strange like older brother said I was!" Romano wanted to bash his head in.
"I'm being forced to wear this. I don't want to."
This exchange went on for quite some time. After Romano explained to Veneziano that cross-dressing was strange, the family had a million questions for him. This is when young Romano remembered why he didn't miss his family. After a few hours of being with them, he made up an excuse to go, and he almost jumped in the carriage.
"To the castle! Now!" He yelled, he needed to get away from his family.
Soon they made it back to the castle and Romano stepped out. He approached the house, not hearing any of the normal noise that he was use to. He quickly entered, but it was still quiet. He started calling out to everyone. Not even Francis answered him when he went into his room. Romano started walking around, looking for anyone. Eventually he saw the beast. The beast was lying face down on a bed, and didn't look like he was breathing.
"Beast!" Romano said, not knowing the beast's name. He ran over to the bed, and sat next to the beast. "Don't be dead, you bastard!" Romano knew he actually felt something for the beast…and he didn't want the creature to die. "I'll hate you forever if you die!...Because then I'd have to go back to my family...not because I like you or anything." He started hitting the body, as if trying to bring life to it. The beast started moving.
"That hurts!" The beast said, moving an arm to rub the spot Romano had been hitting. "I'm not dead…I was counting…we're playing hide and seek!" The beast said happily. He pulled Romano into a hug.
"You can play too!" He said. Romano pulled away from the beast.
"You had me worried because you were playing a game!?" He asked, now frustrated with the beast.
"Well, I didn't expect you back so…wait, you were worried about me?" The beast's eyes seemed to light up, "that's so cute!" He hugged Romano again. Romano growled.
"I'm not cute! You're the one that told me to come back!" He crossed his arms over his chest, which was awkward because the beast's arms were still around him.
"Does that mean you'll marry me?" The beast asked again. Romano looked away.
"Why would I do that?" The boy in the dress asked.
"Because you love me?" The beast offered. Romano seemed to think for a few moments.
"I want three meals a day…with tomatoes." That was his way of accepting.
"Really?! You'll marry me?" He let out a happy shout and pulled Romano closer. "Because you love me?" The beast only asked because technically the spell couldn't be broken until Romano actually said 'love'.
"I guess I love you…" Romano mumbled, to shy to actually say it loudly. And with that sentence, a bright light surrounded the beast, and suddenly he turned back into the human prince he had been.
After a few freak outs from Romano, who had to be told about the curse a few times before accepting it, the wedding was planned. Romano had also found out that all the talking items were also part of the curse. He got to meet the actual staff.
He met Francis, the perverted royal advisor.
He met Alfred, the actual cook that had been a teapot
He met Arthur, the bushy browed butler...that couldn't cook.
He met Matthew, the interior decorator...who was still as invisible.
He met Gilbert, the Prince's personal knight, who was 'awesome' (Romano still thought he was lazy)
He met Peter, who was either Arthur's little brother, or Arthur and Alfred's love child. He was just there because his brother/parents were.
After getting over the shock of everything, Romano had sent word had been sent to his family about his wedding to a prince. All his siblings were jealous that Romano got to marry a prince. And the oldest sisters were jealous because Romano was once again in a dress. This time it was a deep red ballroom gown, with green vine-like pattern that went across the very top. Romano and the prince (Who's name turned out to be Antonio…but Romano still called him 'beast' or 'bastard' most of the time) had a lovely wedding.
And they lived Happily Ever after…
That is, until Prince Antonio did something rather annoying and Romano started yelling at him. But, that soon became a normal thing.
So, they lived as happily ever after as a grumpy Beauty and an annoying Beast could.
So, that's it. Reviews are nice, and get Romano in dresses more often.
Don't you love Francis as a mirror? He'd love that...