The Expectation of Fulfillment

August 1866

I opened my eyes and a wave of thirst came over- sheer thirst. I awoke from being burned at the gates of hell for three long days. I felt my body, it was cold like stone. My eyes could see the smallest rat snaking through the buildings of the alley. I wanted it- I wanted the rat. I could hear its blood pumping though its veins. The rat had the goods- the goods I craved. My throat burned, my eyes felt aflame. I surveyed my surroundings like an soldier worth his salt would.

I was in a dark alley, cornered by a ramshackle building and I wasn't alone.

"You'll do well, very well for me," I heard a melodic voice say.

"Oh, yes, he's lovely," the two other voices chimed in.

I remember now, I was on my way to Houston to help with the evacuation when I came across three beautiful women. They looked like they needed some assistance. I always strive to be the consummate gentleman and wanted to oblige.

She bit me. She goddamn bit me. I felt my neck and my fingers traced a crescent-shaped scar.

"Yes, now he's remembering," the dark angel whispered. "We've made you better, dear." She stroked my face. "I'm Maria and I think you are very special. I want you, we could be very good together."

I felt something, it filled my loins, desire pooled in my gut. I couldn't comprehend it. Warmth and lust consumed me, and thirst, absolute thirst and power. It was a heady mix, my body pulsed and throbbed. All the women- I could feel them, their desire and excitement. I was overwhelmed. I've never felt like this, their bodies hummed to me. I sensed their aroused centers calling to me.

"C'mon, big boy, you know you want it," Maria whispered as she licked my ear. "Let us give you what you need."

"Yes, Major, you need the touch of a strong woman," the blond one uttered in a hushed tone.

"Or three," the little brunette siren cackled.

Maria grabbed my erect member, "Ooh, Major wants it,too," she giggled devilishly. I couldn't protest. I was overcome with lust, desire, thirst. These women wanted me, and I could feel it from the depths of my bones. I was shaking and thriving from the wanton vibes. My body was deceiving my brain, my thoughts. I was raised to respect women and treat their bodies like temples. But these weren't normal women- if they were even women at all.

I couldn't react, I was paralyzed by the senses. Their female sensuality loomed over me like a dense fog. The blond and brunette tore off what was left of my Confederate Uniform. These creatures purred like cats in heat.

"No, please," I trembled.

"You don't mean that," Maria chided. "You don't wanna hurt our feelings. We need a big, strapping soldier like you." She slipped off my belt and undid my pants. "Little Major down there likes our attention," this woman was straight out of the mouth of hell.

The others giggled uncontrollably. "Oh, it's definitely a Big Major! Don't you think, Lucy," the blond harlot inquired.

"Indeed I do, I wanna take it from on top, It would fill me up," Lucy declared.

"No, he's all mine for the taking," Maria corrected. "You two can just play with him," she added with a smirk.

I was Daniel in the Lion's den. These tarts had me by the balls-- literally. Lucy was taking my erection in her mouth, her tongue flicking around playfully. My head was consumed with want, I was torqued up beyond my control and I couldn't restrain myself. My free will disappeared. These feelings weren't my own.

I was hypnotized, yearning to satisfy them. Maybe the debauchery would end. I could give in to temptation. . . just this once.

Present

"All those years ago," I sighed. Things were so different now. I rubbed my virgin scar on my neck. I recall vividly how I came to be what I am now. I've been in Philadelphia for a few years-- "The city of brotherly love." I hoped that sentiment would rub off on me. I've been alone now a long time. I needed a time-out I guess you could say. As cliche as it sounds, I need to find myself. I really do. It is crucial for my sanity and all around well-being.

Things with Maria and her whores weren't so bad at first, although they did hold me captive somewhat. After my transformation, they encouraged me to hunt. That's when I knew there was something unique about me and my vampire existence. Maria had a gift of seeing people's potential and she claimed she saw a life-long mate in me along with many other wonderful gifts. Little did I know, I was a lamb being led to the slaughter.

August, 1866

"Feel better now, Major?" Mmmm," Lucy purred.

"I know I do, " Maria chimed. "My Major hit the spot." She was still writhing in pleasure on top of me.

"What can we do with our Major now, Maria?" The blond vixen squealed.

"Now, we show him how to hunt, Nettie, " Maria stressed.

I was still paralyzed. Filled with a toxic mix of sex, desire and thirst, my throat felt like the Sahara desert. I heard a strange sound, I zoned in on it. It was a mans's heart thumping a few hundred yards away. I felt a warm liquid pool in my mouth. I was salivating from the precious noise this man's heart was making.

"Yes, baby, that's it. You feel it? The hunger?" Maria goaded, "he's got what you need. You need to take it from him, baby."

"You'll see, Major, after the first time, it'll be like taking candy from a baby," Nettie cackled.

I licked my lips instinctively, my inhuman urges kicked in. The thumping and pulsing of the vibrant, healthy heart came closer. The man said "good night" to his companion and entered the alley. Excitement and anticipation swelled in me. Thirst was the foremost feeling, now. Along with my thirst, I felt Maria's heat. She was smiling devilishly at me. This was me now-- a savage predator. I bared my dripping teeth as the man came closer. He was reading a book. Maria and the girls ducked away out of sight.

"Do it, Major, do it for me," Maria pleaded. "Let me see what a big powerful man you are." She scurried away, her red eyes glowing in the dark.

The man stopped abruptly, "Oh, sorry sir, didn't see you there." He caught a glimpse of my vicious self, I felt the fear creep into his body. I panted in hunger, my insides burned at the scent of his blood. I could smell the rust and salt-- I yearned for it. His blood was the key.

"Survival of the fittest," I murmured. I approached him deliberately, my mouth pulsing venom, but I stopped dead in my tracks. The fear- my senses picked up terror and horror from my unsuspecting victim.

"No. Please! What is it you want? Money? My watch?" He blubbered, tears of anxiety dripping down his face.

His fear-- the sheer terror of it consumed me, quieting my fiery thirst. Then, it was I who became scared. What was I? I felt a cold smooth hand run up my back.

"He's got what you require, Major. We are depending on you and I need you to be strong." She traced an icy finger around my lips, my insides set ablaze again. She snarled. "Now, bite."

Like a good soldier, I obeyed my orders.

Present

I started the morning off like I usually do. I always go to the neighborhood diner, hang out with the humans to build up my defenses. I read the local paper and sip on that horrid coffee stuff. Something was different about today, though. I had a new feeling creep into me, one I can't figure out. I thought I'd felt the gamut of the emotional spectrum, but this was an unusual one for me. It made me smile. I felt lighter, but somehow stronger.

I walked into the diner and gauged the room. Everyone was groggy, grumpy and dreaded the days' work they had ahead of them. Flo, the waitress, knew me and had my cup of joe ready. She set it down in my usual booth.

"Here ya go, hun," she smiled sweetly. "Be back to check on you in a few."

I nodded and proceed to read the first page of my paper. The headline read: "Mayor Johnson Caught in Bed with Stripper - wife walked in on them," some things never change. I smile ruefully. Jealousy is a dangerous emotion. I know, first hand, it can be the most powerful and deadly.

1868

I was at the camp, teaching the new recruits fighting techniques. I left Peter to continue working with them. I needed to step back, their bloodlust was completely crippling me. Teaching the newborns was tricky for me because they feel one thing- thirst, pure unadulterated thirst. They'll take anyone down that stands in their way, even fellow vampires. The newborns saw me as a threat, I knew they wanted to rip me apart. I tried to control their desires, that can weaken me to a point. It was a big risk to my safety if I broke down in front of them. They'd pounce on me like a wounded animal.

I stepped out of the training grounds when a feeling hit me. It was sex-heavy desire coursing through me. That's when I heard her. It was Maria, moaning and writhing. She was supposed to be mine. The wanton emotions got heavier as I got closer to her door. I heard her screeching, "Give it to me, big man."

That's what she called me. I was her man, her protector. She said she needed me, that we belonged together. I opened the door carefully and saw that witch.

"Oh, yes! Mmmmm, yes give it to me! Fuck me! Yes!!" I saw Maria bent over a chair, her face twisted in sexual pleasure. She was moaning and purring like the sexual beast she is. The vamp that was taking her from behind was a new recruit, Riley. I had changed him myself. I thought he would excel in battle. It seems Maria had other designs for him.

If I had blood in my veins, it would've been boiling. I was seething in rage. The desire I felt in the room dissipated and was replaced by blind rage. I crouched in a defense mode.

"Get away from her," I snapped.

Maria gave me an evil smirk, "C'mon, love, don't be angry. Riley is just accommodating my needs. That's just the way it is. You can understand that, can't you?"

I felt a swell of desire again, the lust was pumping through my stone body. Riley continued to thrust his cold body into Maria.

"You can have her next," Riley chimed in, clouded in pleasure.

"Or you can have me now," Maria said playfully. She was oozing anticipation again. She flooded me with pleasure and desire. My head was spinning. I was about to cave.

"Oh, aaah! Yes! Yes, I'm cumming. Oh, baby, you're the best," Maria shouted.

"No, you're the best! Here I come," Riley grunted.

A white-hot ferocity claimed me full-force. Jealousy flooded every fiber of my being. Riley and Maria stopped abruptly as I glared at her. Maria returned my icy stare.

"I know, Jasper," Maria whispered. Her rage was building. "I know what you did with Lucy. You let her please you while I was away, building your army."

Envy and rage was coursing through the room, even Riley was getting upset.

"Hey, babe, I thought it was me. You said I was the best," Riley simpered.

"Shut up," I snarled. "This doesn't concern you!"

Riley, it seemed, was a bit of a puss and ran out of the room dejected.

I cocked my eyes to Maria, "you said she could play with me, so we played." Two can play at this game.

"I need to be present at this playtime," she sneered. "You know what I'm like, when I'm angry, Jasper."

Her fiery eyes flashed with viciousness. "I think you should be punished," Maria declared.

A flood of fear seeped in me. I'd never been on Maria's receiving end of anger, but I knew what she was capable of. She had no problems torturing rebellious vamps or just destroying them with her bare hands. She was a force to be reckoned with.

"I think I need to check on my new babies. C'mon, Major," Maria demanded. Submission overwhelmed me. This was a new sensation. I had to obey her, I was compelled to do so. Was she doing this to me? Am I just a pawn to her? Like a loyal lapdog, I scampered behind her, awaiting my punishment. My initial fear subsided and I became eager to do her bidding.

She opened the large iron cell where we contained the newest recruits, the most brutal I've ever tried to manage. Peter was in there as well, talking to a pretty young newborn. It surprised me that the two were being so civil to each other. I surveyed my surroundings and saw twenty bloodthirsty vampires eyeing me.

"Take him down! He needs to learn a lesson." I heard Maria shout as she locked the cell door behind her. Fear and anxiety pulsed through me. She was feeding me to the wolves. I was Daniel in the lion's den, again. My head was swirling with fear and anger. This could be the end of me.

Present

I stroked my textured skin, reliving that haunting night. My skin resembled a burn victim's- coarse, rough, and cratered. Those newborns really did a number on me. Maria feigned savior, calling them off when she thought I had enough. She told Peter to take care of them. Peter and I locked eyes. My marble body burning and searing from the newborn's venom. I felt pity flow from him, he cared for me. I winced in my restaurant booth, recalling his mercy. It was such a pure emotion, not veiled with power, greed or lust. He felt sincere grief for me.

Flo startled me. I was too lost in my painful memory.

"How ya doing, hun? That coffee treating you alright?" Flo gave me a cheerful smile.

"I'm good, thank ya, ma'am," I obliged.

She giggled, "You southern men are always so polite, as opposed to the other riffraff we got coming in here," she motioned to the blue-collar grunts sitting in the bar stools.

"Well, thank you. My mama raised me to always give women the utmost respect," I confessed.

"She must be a good woman," she complimented. I nodded graciously.

My mother's been dead over a hundred years. Those are my human memories, so they are sketchy at best. She was a good woman, I'm sure, but I really don't know. I know she loved me, as any mother would. I wonder if I will ever know what love is as a vampire. This new emotion I'm feeling today is making me on edge. It doesn't compare it to anything I've experienced. I stare out of the diner window wistfully. A change coming, that's for sure. Just like my last day with Maria.

1889

It's been decades of constant war and battles. Our army had grown. Maria had so much turf, but she began to get greedy and paranoid. She did not want to compete with other vampires for the top of the food chain. So Maria ordered me to destroy all the vampires, leaving only myself and Peter. I knew Peter and Charlotte were mates. I felt their pure connection. It was unlike Maria's connection with me, which always felt hazy and tenuous. I felt our bond always hung in the balance. It wasn't strong, even through everything we had accomplished together.

"Charlotte and I belong together, Jasper," pleaded Peter. "I know you understand, that you can feel our connection. We are mates, destined to be together. Don't take that from me, please,"

He was right. From the moment they met, I felt the pull between the two of them. They were two halves of the same whole. I thought Maria and I were solid mates, but we had nothing on Peter and Charlotte. That's what made me first question my allegiance with Maria. I felt like a spy, but I would watch Peter and Charlotte interacting, their emotions so sweet and pure. It made me feel warm inside, not a lusty heat, but a soothing comfort. When I looked at them, their bodies were interconnected. They were joined and bonded as a protective glow radiated around them. They were mated for life. I would not be responsible for taking away their happiness. I was not a monster.

"Take Charlotte and get the hell away from here," I stressed to Peter."You two can never come back. Understand?"

"What about you, Jasper? Maria will--"

"I can handle Maria, trust me. You just get Charlotte outta here."

"Thank you, Jasper, I'll never forget this." Then without hesitation, he and Charlotte took off.

I set out to find and distract Maria. She had a sixth sense about people, that was her power in a way. I was angry. I knew then that she wasn't the one for me. She played me, manipulated me. It was time for me to turn the tables.

I found her in her study. She was looking at her territory maps again, lost in thought. She wasn't expecting me, so this would be easier than I thought. I pulsed my desire to her. She knew it was me and immediately began touching herself.

"I felt you before I saw you," she snickered. "And now, I'm all wet."

"Just how I like you-- ready and willing." I was turning my southern charm on now.

"I've been a bad girl, Major, I need some punishment." She ran her hands over her breasts and pulled down her black lace dress, exposing her cold flesh.

"Don't I know it, dear. What am I gonna do with you?" I ran my tongue down from her neck to her marbled breasts, taking each nipple and biting them fiercely, exactly as she liked it.

"Ooh, Jasper, what you do to me," she teased. Maria nipped at my chest, took my scarred flesh in her mouth and bit hard.

"Jesus, Maria," I snarled.

"Jesus has nothing to do with us, Jasper," she teased.

"Take me in your mouth, Maria. Now," I persuaded.

"Yes, sir, I know you love it when I suck your dick." She undid my belt and my pants and released my erect unit. "Always so ready for me." Maria licked her lips and proceeded to take in all of my maleness. Her poisonous tongue swirled round my shaft, making me tingle with pleasure. I needed to get a grip or I was going to finish too soon.

"Mmmm," I moaned, "that's it. Take it!"

Maria moaned in response. I thrust into her mouth hard. I fucked her mouth. I wanted to defile, debase her in every way possible. This evil creature took my life and made me her pawn. I was definitely not her bitch.

"I'm cumming! Oh god!" My hot venom flooded her cruel mouth.

She groaned and writhed in pleasure. She wanted to take me inside her, but I had other plans. I stroked her smooth alabaster skin and ran my fingers through her hair. I dazzled her. I never knew if it was possible for a vamp to charm another vamp, but Maria was definitely under my spell.

She was deep in the throes of passion when I whispered in her ear, "Maria, I'm leaving you."

She froze. A bewitching smile fell on her lips. "No, you can't leave me, you love me. That's just the way it is." I felt her try to conquer me with submission, but this time I had my guard up.

"Maria, I don't love you. You used me for your own devices. It's time for me to move on. I'm done," I said sternly. "You need to let me go, now." I backed away from her.

"No. Never!" She raged and lunged at me. I quickly flooded the room with peace and calm. Her tense body acquiesced. "I see you've strengthened your gift. You now have the power to influence others."

"Yes, I have been building my power. I don't want to hurt you Maria. But, don't come for me, stay away from me. If you don't, I will destroy you, make no mistake."

"Why, Jasper, I've given you everything. What more could you possibly want?"

"You and I are not meant to be. That's just the way it is, Darlin'." I turned my back on her and walked out.

Present

My cool fingers were circling the rim of the coffee mug. The coffee was cold now, so I could only stomach half of it. I spat out my sips in a napkin, because it tasted like sludge. How do humans drink this?

When I walked out on Maria I took a step towards my new existence. I felt lighter and stronger. I walked off into that golden Texas sunset and never looked back I know I caused Maria pain, but she was strong, she'd move on. Maybe she found her true mate and found pure happiness. That was probably a long shot. I chuckled softly and flinched.

A girl was joining me in my booth. Her expressive, dark eyes found mine. The stranger studied me a bit and I returned her stare. She had short dark hair, that flipped out everywhere. She was petite and lithe, like a dancer, with delicate features and a disarming smile. This celestial creature was a vampire like myself. However, she wasn't filled with greed and desire. She was unlike any vampire I had ever seen in all my years. I sensed a warmth radiating from her, filling me with such bliss and joy.

"Are you lost, ma'am," I questioned.

She giggled shyly. It was music to my war-torn ears. "Nope, not me, but I think you are," she corrected.

"How's that," I asked her. My god, her joy was infectious.

"Well, for starters, you were supposed to be here earlier. I waited for you a while and you never showed. So I left," she informed me.

"Well, what made you decide to come back?" I gave her my best gentlemanly smile.

"Hope. . . it's a powerful thing," she proclaimed.

There it was- Hope- the unnamed feeling. Yes, it all became so clear when this angel came into view. I felt hope.

"Yes, that it is. Hope. To wish for something with the expectation of fulfillment," I explained.

"Somebody has been reading the dictionary," she said in her melodic tone.

She reached for my hand and pulled it up to her chest. My stone heart fluttered.

"I have hopes for us, Jasper."

I was stunned at the love and affection I was feeling from her. She was a lightning rod of bliss and promise. I knew I never wanted to leave her side. And I could sense that she never wanted to leave mine. Here was my future right in front of me.

Finally, I whispered, " Darlin,' I feel that hope, as well."