The fear arc is over. Now is time for other stuff, such as this.

I actually said this to someone. Unfortunately, it was a teacher, and I was yelled at.

Buford VanStromm: History Buff

Phineas Flynn was finally back at school after a few weeks, much to Isabella's excitement, and Ferb's relief. He was still pretty weak, and had lost a lot of much-needed weight, but overall he was back to himself again.

Another good thing was that Phineas wouldn't have to take the history test the next day. The downside to this was that he had about three days to learn material it had taken the other students two weeks to learn.

The other upside was that he was indeed Phineas Flynn. He and Ferb were already making plans to build a machine the following weekend that would allow them to go back in time and see what happened, without making any changes to the past that would affect the present.

"But how do we get past the whole space-time continuum thing?" Phineas asked, half to himself, half to Ferb.

"Make-up test, huh?" asked Buford. "Y'know, I think I could help you out there."

"Huh?" asked Phineas. "You mean you know how to travel through time without-"

"No!" Buford sighed. "I meant the old-fashioned, people besides you way."

Phineas blinked. "You know about WW2, Buford?"

Buford crossed his arms, grinning smugly. "Don't act so surprised. I know that war."

"Okay," said Phineas. "Thanks."

"Do I know about WW2… Ha!" Then he began.

"Hitler was plotting to create a philosopher's stone and use it to make an army of homunculus turtles. That made the Ninja Turtles flip out, 'cause, you know, turtles' rights, and everything. Real activists, those TMNT.

"So instead, Hitler and the Legion of Doom decided to start a factory that converted Jews' magic into an energy source for their giant mecha version of Barbara Streisand. Together, they took over Poland, because a Polish guy once stole Hitler's girlfriend.

Britain declared war, because their prime minister wanted to take over Poland too. And the French came in and were all like 'Sacre bleu!! We declare war also!!' Eventually, they pussed out, 'cause they were all a bunch'a gay wine-freaks.

"Those guys pulled their money together and got a giant squid, and Russia called in Optimus Prime, 'cause Russians are cool and that's how they roll. Then they both went to fight mecha-Streisand. Japan wanted in on it, and so they sent over Godzilla to help mecha-Streisand out. And Italy… provided emotional support. And sold tickets. Then it was on like Donkey Kong. FREAKIN' AWESOME.

"Somehow Pearl Harbor got squished by Godzilla's foot, and all the Americans were super pissed off. So we sent a dolphin and a whale to go bomb Japan, and that's why Japanese people hate dolphins and whales so much."

Ginger, who happened to be nearby, nodded. "It's true. We do."

"We won the war by sending the Elric brothers to alchemize Hitler's ass, and all the Jews were freed from their Kryptonite prisons. Then the US sent Pacman to go eat all the enemy soldiers, and got that blonde chick from Fear Garden to go cut PACMAN to pieces afterwards, but she got really mad 'cause he didn't have any hands. But then that 'whoorrr' noise from Silent Hill- You know, the one you hear when it goes into a fight in the game, or to a friggin scary part in the movie?- played, and everything went black. Then Alessa said 'I'm a'firin' mah lazor!!!' and went shoop-da-woop on 'em. Then everybody died. The end."

There was a long silence.

Ferb put a hand on Phineas's shoulder, ushering him away. "Let's go ask Baljeet."

"We can still build the machine, though. Right?"

"Of course."

"HEY!!" Buford pouted. "There was nothing wrong with MY information."

"Yeah," said Ginger. "I didn't see anything."

"Thanks…" Buford stopped. "Uh..?"


"Right. Thanks, Ginger." He looked over to see the Asian girl drawing something. "Hey, what's that?"

"N… Nothing!!" Ginger held it close to her chest, covering the picture.

"Lemme see it."

"No, you can't!!"

"Why not?"


"Gimme that!!"


"…Is that…"


"…me and Baljeet?"



"… At least you're topping."

The next day was the history test. Buford got his paper back to find that he missed all the questions. His teacher wrote a note on the front page that said:

"Have you considered getting published?"

Yes, an epic fail.

I put Ginger as yaoi-nut, like my dear friend Blaire. Ah, Blaire… She's lucky to be alive now, from all the times she's done that sort of thing at the wrong time, to the wrong people.

Next chapter… IDK.