New Moon

Disclaimer: I do not own Lux Pain or Twilight. Oh, if I had Twilight, I would remove it from existence and tell those crazy Twitards to get a life. Oh, I own Hanako, Kotoru, Rinse, Zepher, Calum, Rinoa and Serena though.

Summary: Sequel to Twilight Reviews. The second movie comes out and Shinji decides that he needs to start the Anti-Twilight fan site, but when Mika finds out...all hell breaks lose.

Pairing: Shinji/Mika

Rated: T (for teen)

Genre: Parody, Friendship and Drama

Warning: More Twilight bashing than the last one-shot, swearing and OOC

Me: Well, I think I'm going to do the four one-shots of each Twilight book that focuses on a different aspect of why Twilight sucks. To those fans that don't go crazy for us Twilight haters who say Twilight sucks, please try not to be offended by it. Otherwise, if I get a review that says something personal, be prepared to be removed from the website. Enjoy.

Shinji Naruse was up all night trying on his computer. He was working on the Anti-Twilight website after watching that movie about pussy vampires. It gave him the shivers to think that girls could like a fictional character like that and believe that Edward Cullen was a real person.

"Hey Shinji, it won't be a good idea to stay up so late."

The hacker groaned. The one who spoke to him was Hibiki Kiryu. The seventeen year old math whiz was staying the night over at his house was convenient for him, or so everyone thought. Truth be told, he was being hunted down by the Libby of the classroom Rinse Higuchi. She was a rapid Twilight fan who loved to bully everyone in the class. The cyan haired teen and another girl named Rinoa Fuyumi were her main victims. However, she has stopped the harassment of everyone when the news of the new Twilight movie New Moon was coming out. The minute she heard about it, she freaked out and told her friends about it and pretty soon, there were more Twitards out their then anyone realized in Kisaragi high school. Now, this made her more annoying but at least she became nicer temporary...and then Hibiki told her the sad truth during history class.

"No one in here likes Twilight. Get it out of your mind."

The result...she's waiting to kick his sorry ass to no tomorrow. Hibiki cursed when he realized she was waiting for him to return home. So he took a detour and decided to stay at Shinji's place since going to Ryo Unami's bookstore to hide was too risky.

"Look, I need to get this point across to guys all over the world. Twilight will result in you having nightmares of sparkly vampires and dumb women."

"Most guys like dumb women. It makes it easier to get laid."


Shinji was not only good at hacking, but he was pretty good with starting websites. He didn't do it often because he didn't want people to find out about him and his hacking skills.

"What should the color of the background be?"

"Black and red," Hibiki replied, "It's the color of the books."


"Don't forget to Photoshop the four books. At the end of them all, in big letters, write EPIC FAIL."

"Sounds good."

At least it was easier for Shinji to think of ideas about the Anti-Twilight website.

By midnight, the website was up and running and more than 5000 people joined within the next five hours when Shinji got off.

The next day, the dreaded thing happened. New Moon came out. Most of the preps and student boys obsessed with Bella Swan cut class to see the movie. Shinji cried when Mika dragged him off to see the movie. He begged his friends to help him get out of it, but they all turned the other cheek.

It's because of Mika! The purple haired teen thought when he found himself in front of South End. I got to get through this.

Two Fucking Hours Later...

Shinji should have asked the popcorn man for a knife. He wanted to cut his ears off and stab his eyes until they bled. The movie was just as bad as the first movie. The movie sent a bad message to girls everywhere. The message: Killing yourself is okay when your boyfriend leaves you because killing yourself proves your love for him.

This isn't Romeo and Juliet! Shinji screamed mentally to himself as Mika rambled on and on about how wonderful the romance between the loser Sues were.

"Hey Shinji, wasn't their relationship wonderful?"

" was okay...I guess..."

Mika fumed at what her boyfriend said and told him. "You just wish our relationship was like that, do you?"

"Not really..."


"Look Mika, I'm tired. I stayed up all night on my homework assignment and I just wanted to sleep in class all day. If we just went tomorrow, then I would give you a better opinion of the movie."

Only the first part was true. Shinji never worked on homework assignments if he couldn't help it and he would never give a good review on the movie no matter what. Mika wasn't a rapid fan like Rinse, but still a fan. She nodded her head and sighed.

"Get more sleep next time Shinji. I swear you stayed up all night so you didn't have to watch the movie with me."


Shinji turned toward the huge crowd of fangirls who squealed about New Moon being the best movie ever and how they were going to watch it again. The purple haired teen noticed Akira and Atsuki in the crowd of Twitards. Atsuki had a look that could kill as he stared when he stared at everyone. Akira on the other hand was smirking about something. They were going to cause a scene in the movie theater again...well at least Akira was.

Mika got a call from SEAGULL and told Shinji to go back to his house to rest before leaving him behind. The hacker let out a sigh of relief as he went over to the two Kisaragi students.

"Why are you two here?" Shinji questioned.

Akira's lips were sealed because of the rapid fans. Atsuki on the other hand glared at Shinji just the same.

"This bastard is forcing me to go. If I get a good laugh from this movie, then I'm letting him off the hook for forcing me to skip. Otherwise..."

"Do you have a weapon?"

"No why?"

"You are going to need to stab yourself."

"...I got earplugs and a bandana."

"Just as good."

"Make sure you work on the website. I already joined the minute you added it to the web."

The hacker felt himself dripping with sweat when he said that. Atsuki says the most risky things yet doesn't get mobbed for it.

"Have fun." Shinji taunted.

"We will." Akira said with a grin.

Shinji made it back to his house instead of going back to school. Hibiki wouldn't be coming over tonight because Rinse and her groupies were watching New Moon. It was the perfect opportunity to prepare a barricade for the weekend to come.

He quickly logged into his website. His eyes widened when he saw the results. It wasn't 24 hours yet and 18000 people views the website and over 9000 people became a part of the group. Shinji let out a low whistle.

New record.

A familiar ringtone was heard. Shinji quickly picked it up to see it was Hibiki. He frowned when he picked up.


He could hear laughter on the other end.

"What is it Kiryu?"

"It's Akira...he...heh heh..."

The math whiz began to laugh uncontrollably. Shinji put him on speaker phone as he heard him laugh for two whole minutes before he calmed down.

"What happened?" Shinji asked in a monotone voice.

"It's Akira. He got his ass kicked by the fangirls and many of them got sent to the police station by Detective Yamase. Atsuki-chan told me this and then Serena-bozu just had to send me a video of the whole thing. It was hilarious!"

Shinji wanted to laugh too...if only he just stayed in that same location for two hours, then maybe he could put this on his website.

"Are you going to send me the contents over?" Shinji asked.

"Sure thing. I already put what was recorded on a video camera onto Kotoru's computer. She won't mind me doing this."

While Hibiki was sending the data, Shinji got a text from Atsuki. It was short and sweet but it was enough for the purple haired teen to burst out laughing.

"What's so funny? Did you get it already?"

"No, it's what Saijo text me."

"What did it say?"

"Save the corrupt souls from pedophiles."

When Shinji got the video clip, he spent the next five minutes laughing out loud. The video started in the movie theater itself. Shinji had no idea how the little thirteen-year-old was able to sneak into the theater full of crazy fans and tape everything. Everything was fine during the trailers but once the movie started, Akira was already laughing when he saw Edward's face. It was during the scene where Bella fell into a great depression over Edward leaving her did Akira burst out laughing. That made everyone in the theater except the guys that were forced to watch New Moon with their girlfriends to join along. It was chaos after that. Akira was berated Edward for being the worse boyfriend and Bella being a weak bitch for not getting over a breakup for a boyfriend who doesn't love her. He got a soda can thrown at him amongst other things. Serena somehow managed to zoom in on Atsuki. He just stared off into space because he had earplugs in his ears and was wearing a bandana. Once the mayhem started, some girl removed the bandana off his eyes. When Atsuki saw the movie, he snapped. Shinji had no idea where Atsuki got the pistol but chances were that it was from the police station. He shot the screen as soon as Edward's face appeared. Girls were thrown into a fit of rage and Atsuki was gone leaving Akira to take the beatdown.

Serena ended up calling the police and those that attacked Akira the most were taken away. Yumiko Sakai, the old lady that owned South End was stunned how a movie like this could cause such destruction. After the girls were arrested and Akira taken to the hospital for having his own freedom of speech, Sakai decided that the times to show the movie would decrease drastically if high school girls that were supposed to be in school couldn't control their temper. Let's say no one was impressed.

And at the end of the video, Serena sent one message to the viewers.

"Twilight kills."

The clip was perfect that Shinji put it on his Anti-Twilight page. Almost instantly did people comment on how stupid the girls were. It was then did Shinji decide to write that the one injured was my friend as well as the one that shot the wide screen and recorded everything. They all felt sorry for Akira.

SHacker1: Its okay everyone, my friend is like Wolverine. He's not going to die on us for something as retarded as this.

He noticed that not only was Atsuki online, but Rui, Ryo and even Rinse's supposed boyfriend Zepher Sakura was online. They all got into a conversation.

AtPsychic: I can't believe those girls. They attack Akira and their own boyfriends for freedom of speech.

SHacker1: I thought freedom of speech was only in America.

CherryCloud: I'm so glad I didn't go...

BookLover: Why are you friends with a girl like that Zepher?

CherryCloud: ......She was fun to hang out with up until this year...heh heh...-sweatdrop-

TarotoftheStar: Well tell her that I'll fucking kill her if Akira doesn't make it!

SHacker1: He survived a bullet wound. I'm sure he can survive a rabid fangirl attack.

AtPsychic: T_T He worries me sometimes.

CherryCloud: I'm surprised you made it out with no scratches. You shot the fucking screen for crying out loud.

AtPsychic: The bitch that pulled that bandana off me had to pay. I just happened to hit Edward.

TarotoftheStar: Epic win! Down with that fag!

AtPsychic: Rui...

BookLover: Hey!

TarotoftheStar: Oh, sorry! I should say, down with pussy vampires! Bring on Dracula!

Shinji noticed that Hibiki signed on.

SuzakuxLuluOTP: Hey guys! Sorry I'm late. What did I miss?

CherryCloud:'s you.

TarotoftheStar: Hey, what's with the username?

SuzakuxLuluOTP: It's my favorite pairing 4EVER! Got a problem with that?!

No one responded to the reply.

SuzakuxLuluOTP: ...It's wrong for a guy to support a yaoi pairing? At least it's better, more canon and healthier than Edward/Bella!

AtPsychic: True, true.

TarotoftheStar: Oh, I got to go now guys. My sister is really pissed now. I'll see you later.

AtPsychic: Don't get shot.

SHacker1: By who?

Rui signs of the Anti-Twilight website. Shinji spent the evening talking to the other guys of his class. However, the minute Hanako Miyamase appeared online, Atsuki signed off just to piss her off.

CherryCloud: This isn't good.

SHacker1: What happened?

CherryCloud: Rinse found out about the website. Be prepared to face her in school.

SHacker1: FUCK!!!!!!!!

CherryCloud: I'm out of here. Don't blame me if she tells me to beat your ass tomorrow.

SuzakuxLulufan: Please don't hurt me tomorrow...there is so much abuse I can take from her before I snap...

Zepher must have taken that to heart when he signed off. Ryo however thought his best friend was talking non-sense and signed off as well.

SuzakuxLulufan: Hey Shinji, Rinse probably knows what's going to hurt you the most, so be prepared to face the consequences...

SHacker1: U don't think...

SuzakuxLulufan: Yeah...

Shinji signed off before Hibiki could tell him what was in store for him. Something told him that Mika was going to find out and kill him tomorrow.

And hell broke loose in math class indeed. Their permanent math teacher Calum Archard was called out of the classroom. It was then did Rinse make her move.

"I hope you losers know that anyone who gets in the way of my love for Edward and they will end up like that stupid punk!"

Atsuki responded in a rather monotone voice. "Edward's the one I shot in the face yesterday, right?"

Rinse fumed as she stormed over to the silver haired teen who was reading a book about Dracula.

"You're just jealous of Edward!"

"Oh, I'm jealous of some fictional character."

"At least he's better than you!"

Atsuki rolled his eyes. He caught a glimpse of the reactions of everyone in the class. Most were laughing inside except Mika who seemed betrayed. Too bad Atsuki fueled the fire.

"There are better boyfriends than a 100 year old vampire that stalks a seventeen year old Mary Sue. Right Shinji?"

The hacker was trying to go to sleep but failed when his name was mentioned. He yawned and mumbled a low "Yeah..." He then realized that he messed up.


Any guy that was in Mika's way as she made her way to the back of the room scooted away from her. The boy that usually sat next to Shinji was out for the day leaving no shield for the hacker.

"You lied to me."

"About what?"

"Everything! Your feelings for Twilight! Your feelings for me!"

Shinji seemed stunned. How did Twilight and his real life relationship affect...

He then saw the smug look on Rinse's face. His weary expression gone as he stood up from his seat, "Your feelings for a fictional series and my feelings are not measured on the same scale!"

"Oh really? I'm sure it is because it promoted you to create that stupid website!"

"Anti-Twilight has nothing-"

As the two fought, Rui and Yayoi Kamishiro were thinking of calming Mika down. Atsuki realized his mistake and turned toward the window. Hibiki was just happy that Rinse wasn't focusing on him.

"Shut up you liar! That's all you are you fucking nerd!"

He wasn't use to the bluenette calling him stuff like this so it set him off. "What did you stay you ungrateful bitch?!"

"Shinji stop!" Rui called out. She was unheard.

"That's it...we're through..."


"We're through! You can go talk to those people about how crazy I am! I'll get you back!"

Those words sent shivers down the hacker's spine as he watched his girlfriend now ex rush through the door just as Calum came back. He seemed confused.

"Did something happen?"

Rinse laughed that obnoxious aristocrat laugh as she told the math teacher that it was nothing. She sneered at Shinji as she sat back in her seat. The purple haired teen's friend still glanced at Shinji feeling sorry for him. Serena, who was in the back of the class as well, recorded the whole breakup. Shinji realized this and decided to take action.

Serena then turns toward the reader and mumbles in a dark voice.

"Twilight ruins relationships."

Me: Done with 4074 words.

Yohko: It makes you want to hate Twilight altogether.

Me: I fucking hated it when it tore my relationship with my stepsister away. She wasn't as much as a bitch as she is now if it weren't for the series. So this is spoken from experience. When I wrote this, I just wanted to go buy the entire series and then burn it.

Well, I'll just tell you about the three OC characters of this story especially Serena.

Serena is a young thirteen year old boy who suffers amnesia. This amnesia prevents him from remembering his real name so he goes with the alias of Serena. He has short white hair and red eyes. He's average for a middle school student. However, he's in his last year of high school because he's smart enough to skip four grades. This makes him the youngest student in the school. Personality wise, he is very cold and calculated and downright cruel to people he clearly hates. However, he has a small soft spot to those who really try to know him. He was adopted by Artemis Tsukimori's family when he mysteriously appeared in Kisaragi. However, he spends more time with Kouji and Calum. He is very close to Kotoru, the deceased Kotobi, Sano, Artemis, Hibiki and Nami.

Rinse Higuchi was a character I made to hate as well as everyone hate. All my anger goes toward him. She's a seventeen year old girl with long pink hair and pink eyes. She's the younger sibling of Shizuka Higuchi (from one of my oldest Lux Pain stories). She's a rich girl like Richie but unlike Richie, she flaunts her power around. She is infamous around the school because she has a group of posies as well as three bodyguard friends (they are in Atsuki's class and they are Zepher who is genially the nice one of the three because he's lazy, Kenny a cruel American and Arai a dumb giant). She is able to bend people to her will and is involved in most of the bullying in the school. She pays bullies cash for them to beat up on someone she doesn't like. Fortunately for the school, she only hurts the people that are in her homeroom class and unfortunately, Hibiki is on the top of her hated people list followed by Rinoa Fuyumi the class president. Her hatred for Hibiki is because of a grudge he has against his sister Kotoru Hino (who she also berates when she visits the school). The reason why she hasn't gotten in trouble is there is no proof that she's hurting them. Aoi has tried to report her and failed. Since most of the bullying happens in Yamato's class, it's easy to get away. Now that Calum is the teacher, she must do it every time he gets called out...and it's very often. Of course, only two people stand up to her. Atsuki is one of them but only rarely (like if she rants about Twilight or if one of his friends is seriously hurt by the harassment) and Serena who daily calls her out until Calum comes back. Overall, a character everyone should hate...and if not...there is something wrong with you.

Zepher Sakura is supposed to balance the group of bullies in Atsuki's class. He's seventeen years old with black Zack (FF7) like hair and black eyes. He's the smart one of the four but he's also lazy. He doesn't participate in the bullying unless it's really entertaining which is rare in his case. He's the one that gets information on others and then blackmails them later. Of course, he feels sorry for the victims and on occasions, tells Rinse to stop this madness. As long as he's not around Rinse, he's a really nice guy.

That's basically it. And don't ask about the usernames. I got Atsuki's because he's a telepath, Shinji is a hacker, if Rui had a tarot card then it would be the star arcana, Ryo loves books, Zepher likes Final Fantasy 7 but then his last name means cherry blossom, and Hibiki...I like the Suzaku/Lulu pairing so I made him a fan of the pairing. LOL

In the next one-shot of Eclipse, the question is, will Shinji and Mika get back together? Not in that one-shot no. But there will be a war...LOL Reviews are appreciated and if I get a e-mail that says anything about me being jealous of Edward or Bella or anything personal, be prepared to be cursed out. Ja ne!