I took down the original 31st chapter as advised by a friend for editing, so in its place is this.

Oh, and I wrote a post-TLG one-shot "Madness Shared By Two" that I suggest you all read (and review!) because it is one of my more serious writing, and also it might tie up some loose ends Colfer left for us.

Thirty-One: Friendly Advice

Minerva had been doing an experiment in her laboratory at home, which she traced to having relations with fairies. Thus, she persuaded her Irish friend to come with her to see it before they revealed it to the People.

They were in the lounge car in a train ride from UK to Paris, and Artemis Fowl was uncharacteristically talkative, being in the rare company of one who could understand his words without requesting him to either slow down or come down a few intellectual levels. He was discussing the Lamarckian properties of magical inheritance when Minerva interrupted him.

"Artemis, mon ami," she said, and Artemis paused to take a sip from his tea, "I am concerned."

He nodded, urging her to go on.

Minerva didn't know how else to drop it to him. "Are you two being safe?"

Artemis spluttered on his drink. "What?" Surely she was not talking about what he was thinking.

"You and the elf, Holly. You are being safe, oui?" The woman looked positively determined to express her thoughts. "As your friend, I am worried, especially with the fairy-human compatibility. You know safe methods, correct? And I cannot stress this enough: consent. Consent on her part, and on yours—"

Artemis's eyes widened in horror. "Minerva, who have you been talking to?"

"Why, Butler, of course. He does defy stereotype in terms of gossip with me. And, you know, Juliet, we are very close."

"How did they—"

Minerva smirked. "It was hard not to hear, they said."

This is really just until here, because it's intended to be a tiny blog post. I gif'd this thing here "reconjockdarvityeah dot tumblr dot com/post/29198454838" with young Julie Delpy as Minerva. I ship Juliet/Minerva now, thanks to Chelsea (misandry5ever). Magical inheritance being Lamarckian is my friend Rein's theory.

Also, do you ever grow out of the phase you had two years ago? I realised that I don't hate Minerva at all, and that she has a lot of potential being science bros with Arty. BroTP.

I'm slightly active because we had a terribly heavy monsoon the past week, and classes were cancelled for four days that I was able to write fics. So yeah.