AN: This one isn't that long, I really want to go read Mockingjay so I can finish the Hunger Games trilogy before I see my friend tomorrow so we can rant about it. Anyways I had to go through a lot of chapters this morning to even remember smaller parts of the plot and where I was even going with a lot of this. I'm still trying to get back into the flow of writing. I realized this story is full of drama but then again so is the show. I do not on VD.
The looming darkness is weighing down on me, even with my enhanced vision the woods seem darker at this moment than they ever have before. The trees for some reason look more sinister, their branches twisting in ways I didn't think possible. Maybe these woods were always this way but I never noticed when I was a human. I stand there, looking out into the nothingness that these woods offer. It seems fitting though in a strange way.
I don't bother running back to the house. I walk at what most people would consider a normal pace for a human. Damon walks right next to me, his hand doesn't find mine though, my irritation is too strong at this moment. Its not just that though, I know a small part of him is aggravated at me running out into the woods like that. His worry for me is now outweighing any joy he may have gotten out of me tossing Stefan around. I purposely stop thinking just in attempts to listen to the silence, to listen for his voice. We continue walking, our footsteps completely silent against the earth, we leave no traces of any disturbance in the woods.
I know that I have reverted back, that the emotions are turned on. I didn't even feel anything as extreme as when it was turned off. I just felt the floodgate go crashing down, with all of my emotions flowing out of them in an unstable current. How long will I be this way? Will everything always be so overwhelming?
"It wont always be like that, you're still new and you're dealing with a lot more than most vampires do." Damon says, his eyes fixed straight ahead when I look back at him.
Of course he was listening for me when I was trying to listen for him. He is so much better at this than I am. So much better at hiding his emotions, hiding what he is thinking from me. I'm always the first to let my guard slip, for him to hear all of my deepest thoughts.
"Its not really fair though, that you are always listening to me but more than half of the time I can't even hear you. If I really think about it I can only hear you when you want me to." This sends a small spark of anger deep inside of me. Damon stops walking so I do the same, this time fully turning around so that I can look at him.
"There are just some things that you shouldn't hear. Trust me, my thoughts are a hell of a lot more sinister than anything you have been thinking the last few hours, its just not something that you should be exposed to right now." With the end of his words Damon starts walking again, this time he is ahead of me as I am still standing there in a stage of bewilderment and frustration.
I make sure to block off my thoughts. Its strange to do, but I know that it works. It works the best when I'm mad giving myself more fuel to block him out. It feels almost as if there is a barrier between us. A small blanket of weight settling down on me but at the same time my body is feeling a pull towards his knowing that the connection is not fully there. Now that the weight is successfully between us I let myself think.
I understand that he is trying to protect me, but I feel like he is trying to protect me from the wrong things. Is that the right way to put it? Its that or he is trying to block out other thoughts. Thoughts that I'm not even too sure I want to know. I know that if I dig them out, that most likely they'll hurt. Maybe that is what he is really trying to protect me from.
My chest begins to feel tight thinking about all of this. This is Damon after all. No matter how much he has changed or how much I think that he has changed, there is still too much of the old Damon left. Always trying so hard to cloak all of his emotions. I can't help but feeling beyond frustrated at this. I know that isn't the approach to take with him though. Even thought I want to run up to him and scream at him that this isn't the way it should be, that he should be able to share his thoughts with me, that I think he is hiding something he doesn't want me to know.
I hold it back though, which really is a feat all in itself. I don't know how long I will be able to hold it in though, I can feel it crawling around under my skin, the words begging to escape the prison they are being held in.
We make it back up to the house, the lights inside are still on casting a faint glow on the front lawn. The front door to the house is still hanging wide open, something I didn't think about as I went rushing out of it moments ago.
I make my way to the driveway where my feet glide over the gravel of it not many any sound. Something feels off though, the presence of the house is different. Damon is barely a foot away from me but I can tell that he feels something is wrong too. His body became immediately stiff before I even noticed the disturbance.
At the same time we both go running inside the house. My eyes start scanning over everything assessing for damage. There is the smell of blood lingering everywhere in the house. Not the same blood either but different types of blood coming from every direction. The smell isn't over powering, it would have been if it had been human blood. This smell is vampire blood. I can't seem to see any damage though, not physically to the house at least. Everything is in the exact same place, except for Caroline.
My eyes rest over her, her blonde hair hanging in front of her eyes. There are tears clearly visible running down her cheeks. Quiet sobs are coming from her parted lips, her shoulders shaking with each one. I run over to her quickly, my speed extinguishing the fire in the fireplace as I run past it. I wrap my arms around Caroline as I feel her body shake lightly in my grip. "Its ok Caroline." My eyes scan her body quickly but I can already tell that blood is not hers. That only leaves two other options.
"No its not ok!" I know that her words are true as she practically screams them. Its not ok because I already know whose blood it is that I am smelling. My arms fall from around her, slumping at my sides. I should have known, I should have thought before I went running out of that door so carelessly.
I know that Damon went upstairs, his mind registering everything before mine even could. A small moment latter he is back down the stairs, standing in the parlor. I see it in his eyes, he doesn't need to say it. The swirling mass of sadness behind those water blue eyes is enough for me to know.
"Jeremy and Anna are gone." His voice is soft, its not from the sadness of them being gone though. His voice only breaks because he knows how much this is breaking me.
"She took them, she only left me to tell you." Caroline has stopped sobbing for a moment just to tell me this. I know it was hard for her to see Katherine in here, to see her face after everything that she robbed Caroline of. Her eyes are still flowing with crystal tears though as I look into them.
I feel my legs give in as I sink to the ground, my whole body is giving up on me. "I should have known better, I wasn't even thinking. I just ran. I should have known that he was nothing more than a distraction." My voice is breaking on every other word, I can feel myself having difficulty even speaking. My throat feels tight, the words having trouble escaping.
"You couldn't have known Elena." Damon's voice is still soft, something about it digging its way inside of me.
"Don't say that to me, because you should know better than anyone. You don't need to try to make me feel better about this. The Damon I know wouldn't try to sugar coat this." I snap at him, I shouldn't but its there.
"You want the truth then? Yeah we were both really stupid for running out of that door. I had to come after you though, do you really think I would have let you run after Stefan by yourself. I knew the second that it was him that he was nothing more than a distraction. I know Katherine's games, she had me playing one for 145 fucking years. It was pointless to say anything to you though, you were in your own world hell bent on your vendetta against Stefan. Which trust me, it kills me that I can't be standing there cheering you on like I want to because we have way more important things to deal with!" His voice is harsh, one that I have heard numerous times though, something that I am used to. His composure is slipping. He runs a hand through his dark lochs, the frustration written all of his face. His nostrils are flared as I know he is holding more back.
That's what it is, what he has been hiding from me. I don't know how I could have been so blind not to see it. The way that he has been acting, its so different from his normal impulsive self. "You don't need to try to be him." The words are a mere whisper but I know that he can hear them. Damon stops pacing to look at me. I'm resting on my knees on the floor still looking up at him. I don't care to let this thought pass between us in silence, even thought I probably should because Caroline is in the room with us. "That's what this has been hasn't it? I know that you are trying to be strong for the both of us, but you don't need to try to be him. You don't need to be so calm that at times I am almost convinced that you have gone catatonic."
It takes him a moment to respond to me, I see the anger flashing behind his eyes. "Is that what you think I am doing?" His voice is rough, his fingers clenching at his sides.
"Don't try to deflect me, I know what you're doing." I keep my voice even. We stay like this for a moment, our eyes locked on one another's. "You think that just because I was with him, because of all the times that he stayed so composed that it is what you need to be doing. Its not thought. Look at him! He's out there running around with Katherine, doing anything she asks of him! He obviously snapped, is that what you want too? To hold it in till you snap?" I'm on my feet now, my finger pointing out of the window towards the darkness of the woods.
His eyes stay focused on me, narrowing at my words. "You seemed like you liked it." The only thing to come out of him. I can feel the fury pushing its way out of me.
"That was a long time ago Damon! I was a different person then! Are you really that naïve to think that I still needed that or even wanted that? If that is true then why when I was still a human did I fall for you?" My voice gets quieter as I ask this last question. My hands are at my sides now, my eyes searching his for something besides the hatred for some of the things I had said.
The silence falls between us. I can tell that Caroline is watching us quietly, I had almost forgotten she was in the room.
You're right. His voice cuts through to me. Its not an apology but I know its Damon's way of saying it.
"Can we try to get my brother back?" I ask with pleading eyes. Damon nods his head in a yes sort of manner.
"I'll go call the teacher."