"Erase her memories! Are you crazy!"
Tyki grimaced, because I yelled into his face too close. "Yeah, that's the only way to solve this."
I bit my lip. "But, but..."
He started walking over to Yumi, and just when he lowered himself in front of the bed, I pushed him aside. He sent me an astonished glare. "Look, do you want me to help you or not?"
I wasn't really myself. I felt kind of paralyzed and couldn't form the words right. He continued, "I can ask Road to do it, too."
"No!" I coughed, and then cleared my throat. "She's just... you know, I don't want her to become too much involved in this..."
He nodded, like he could suddenly understand me. Then he stood up and gave me that "I'll-leave-the-rest-to-you"-face. I opened my mouth, but didn't say anything. I guess it was just up to me. Tyki leaved through the door and waved his hand at me just before closing. The silence emerged once again.
I cursed myself and scratched the back of my head.
Had I ever erased another person's mind? No. But I knew how to do it, so I only needed to gain the will. The problem was just that every time I looked at her, it was like her innocent being made me feel guilty. How could I possibly just make her forget everything about me- us? I shook my head. Tried to concentrate, but kept losing it.
But it was the best thing for her.
"Come on..." I said to myself. "You can do it... somehow."
I actually felt something else luring inside me. Something I wanted to do, but I couldn't really figure out what.
I almost fell backwards in shock, when she suddenly breathed heavily and moved a little. I'd been holding in my breath, and then let it out again. She was still unconscious, or, well, sleeping. I felt like an idiot.
I pondered for some time, and then approached. I looked down at her, thoughtfully, and then stroke her hair. Surprisingly, it was pretty soft compared to all the things I'd "done to her". I slid a finger through a frizzy curl. I would've brushed her hair, but decided not to. That would just be too weird. Instead, my hand seemed to act on its own and moved upwards, to her face. Her cheeks were pale, but soft and neat. My other hand joined in, and felt the form of her face. I had actually never had any time to take a close look at the details. She was more beautiful than most of the girls I'd seen. Not like model-beautiful, but just... like an average-beauty of a high school girl. She was pretty. Yeah, that was it.
What the hell am I doing?
The hormones raced around in my body. I was forgetting what I was supposed to do; my real goal. I was supposed to erase her memories, so why in the world was I touching her like that? Finally, I stopped myself.
I covered my face and slid my palm across it, squeezing my nose. This was harder than expected.
It was, like something –or someone- dashed his hand into my occiput, because suddenly, I fell down to Yumi, and my lips felt like they were burning. It was hot, but in a way, it was a pleasant warm feeling. I definitely liked her. Why else would I kiss her?
It's so wrong... she's human and it's wrong...
"But it feels good," I ended the sentence inside of my head, and let my tongue lick around my lips.
I wanted to do it again. I wanted to kiss her again, so much. I wish I could do it while she was awake, but I knew that I couldn't. That wasn't supposed to happen.
I closed my eyes, grimaced and then placed a hand on her forehead.
"Goddammit," I swore.
I could feel the warm feeling in my palm. I strained it, until it hurt.
"Good night, Yumi."
I had that feeling that something inside me had changed. But it also felt like something was missing.
Something that's important to me.
But I just couldn't remember.
However, I really felt enthusiastic; more than I ever had before. I really wanted to take my school serious, get better at every subject and learn more.
I started talking to people I'd never talked to before. Girls, boys, that didn't matter. People also started talking to me.
It seemed I'd gained courage, somehow; like I'd gotten a strength that was very useful in the social life. I felt refreshed, like I had been born anew.
The day on the final exams, everyone'd been in inches the whole time, but it kind of felt like I could finally overcome everything. I got a fairly good grade, thinking about that I'd actually been pretty off lately, but it would be enough for me on a graduation. It surprised me, but I was happy.
Except that it still felt like something was missing. I just couldn't figure out what in heaven's it was. And the question was: Was it something- or someone? It was just like a piece in a puzzle was missing, like I'd forgotten something, and that place in my mind was just... empty. But if I thought too much about it, I got a headache; Or rather a migraine, since it was a completely exaggerated headache.
Holiday had come. Everyone always got wild in the last few minutes, when looking at the clock in the classroom. The teacher gave up upon us, because no one was able to concentrate. I was the last one to go out of class, since I didn't want to join the crowd of high scholars getting squashed in the middle of the door leading to the outside. Every person was impatient, and apparently wanted to run through the corridors.
"Kurayami-san, are you coming with us after school?" A girl, whose name I couldn't even remember, got my attention from the table behind mine. She had some short blonde hair and big and round curls, just like her circle-formed head, but she was very nice.
I scratched the back of my head. "I don't know... "
"Oh, come on! Mido and the other guys are coming too, and we miss a girl more in our group! Please?" She grinned, only being a few inches away from my face.
I couldn't prevent smiling, when seeing her big and brown eyes stare intensely at me like that. I finally nodded, and she almost felt backwards in pure happiness.
I'd never felt better than now.
Of course, there were still mean people going on our school and those who didn't like me, but I was happy that I had at least found someone to talk to.
She started packing her stuff, quickly, like we didn't have much time. The clock rung and jingled throughout all the classrooms, and people cheered in the background. I was just about to cover my ears, but didn't, even though the noise was horribly loud.
When I got every book inside my bag, I felt the blonde girl's hand clutch around my wrist, and she dragged me out together with her. Some guys joined us.
It had been a great day. I'd been wondering about dropping out of school and go directly to work, but I'd definitely changed my mind. I wanted to continue school after the holiday, for sure. Coming into contact with other people was definitely nice. I didn't feel bad about anything happening today.
On my way home, I watched my back several times. I even thought I heard voices once, but I guess it was just my imagination. My own shadow, being ten times longer than myself, even scared me once. Fortunately, I didn't scream or do anything embarrassing.
It was dark.
I locked the house up carefully, and the door creaked.
I looked around with big eyes, but only sighed when I realized how stupid I was acting.
"I guess I really need this holiday..."
I yelped when the door closed in.
I was being silly. It felt like something was watching me from a distant.
Throughout some time, I'd gotten this weird habit of feeling on my lips. It felt like they were burning, somehow, but I couldn't see anything. Now I was doing it again.
I snapped out of it, and in a split second, I thought I saw a blur of something blonde and dark bluish outside the window.
But every time, it seemed like it were just the trees moving in the wind.
We watched her carefully.
Even though she didn't remember us, we weren't just giving up on her yet.
My heart raced, when I quickly hid myself behind the nearest wall or anything wide and big, so she wouldn't see me.
She was not ready now- to see me-, but maybe later, we could meet, once again.
I would miss her. But we weren't even supposed to have a relationship. We were too different, and I was too dangerous for her. I was afraid to hurt her.
For a long time again, I guess I would have to live my lonely life as a Noah- our lives; we were two persons.
I wish she could remember our names.
"Jasdero and Debitto."
But who knows? Maybe she could.
Silhouettes were what I saw until this day.
I finally realized that they could be more, than just shadows in the background.
They were the soundless ones passing by me. I felt alone, not being one of them; a silhouette.
The silhouettes have finally gotten forms and lives.
They aren't just the black contour of people.
They've lightened up.
And so have I.
Hey guys C: So, this is the end... finally *sniff sniff*. I'm sorry it took a long time to make... I'm too much of a procrastinator :s Anyway, I hope you like it, and thank you for the kind reviews as always. I can't really promise anything right now; whether or not if there's gonna be a sequel, because I'm already missing a bounch of chapters for other fanfics...
Thank you very much, if you read this far :D I really did enjoy writing this story.