Okay guys, I have a question. If I wrote a House, MD and M*A*S*H crossover, would anyone want to read it? I promise I can get this done, but I'm not going to post anything if nobody wants to read it.

I have a few ideas for different possible fanfics, I'll outline them. Please leave a review if you'd like to read a crossover, and possibly which one you'd like most.

Mind you, all three will involve a willing suspension of disbelief. I hope that's not too much to ask for. These two shows are set about sixty years apart. I'm not usually into the "time machine" fics, as I tend to think of them. Mostly, I'll just ignore the difference completely, just treating Korea and the 4077th as something "else", with different rules (anything in Korea will be set in the 50s, anything in the US will be in or around 2010, unless otherwise stated.)

A/N: I own nothing. Don't bother suing me; I don't have any money.

Idea One

Some people are delusional. And others simply hate me. How there could be so many idiots in the army to actually let someone with a limp into a war zone, I'll never know. All I know is, my father must have some pretty good connections, to get me drafted. I'm far over the limit to be drafted, and not in great physical shape. Twenty years ago, back when I was thirty, I can see myself getting drafted, but not so much anymore.

Too bad John is still hanging on to his dream, seeing his son in the military. If only I could set him straight on that count. His son isn't in the army; his son doesn't exist, both in the figurative and literal sense of the idea.

Delusional or not, he managed to get me onto the bumpiest plane known to man, headed for Korea.

Idea Two

Nolan stared at me, a calculating look on his face. "Gregory, I find it extremely hard to believe that you never made any friends. It's human nature to make friends, even if they're only temporary, and, contrary to popular belief, you are human."

I looked down. "Okay, fine. I made a friend, once.

My parents and I had been stationed in the States, soon after coming back from Egypt. I was maybe nine at the time. It was my first time in the States since I was very small. I was an outcast, since I hadn't had the same experiences as the other boys-we were stationed in this tiny town; I'm still not sure why. This was the first time I hadn't lived on a military base, but one kid took me in. He was ten, and named Benjamin. His father was the local doctor."

"Was this the first time you'd encountered a man of that age who wasn't in the military?" I nodded quietly. "Interesting. What else do you have to say?"

"I came to Ben's house often. His dad was nice, he never raised his voice. He was close to his son, and kind to me.

We moved a year later. I felt...guilty. Ben's mother died a few weeks before we moved. I never heard from him again. I wasn't there, he was there whenever John was mean, why couldn't I return the favor?"

"Do you have any happy memories of then?"

Idea Three

A/N: I'd been toying with this idea on my own for a while, so I've got a bit more of this. I'll just post the first few words here, more later, maybe.

Anyways, this is a bit un-edited and rambly, but you get the point.

I grew far more than I would have liked in Korea. It was almost unavoidable in a way, but it really isn't pleasant all the same. Crabapple Cove has become far, far too small for me. Dad understands, he always has. I've decided that I need to take a break from small towns. I'm going to look for a job further south, probably in Boston or New York. Somewhere large, where I won't have to deal with gossips. "He's changed", they titter behind hands. "Dear little Ben isn't the same as he was a few years ago," they whisper to each-other, when they think I don't notice. I'm not their little Ben anymore. The town doesn't understand it, they've never known death and destruction like I have. I need to go somewhere I can be anonymous, another doctor in another city. Someday, I'd like to have a job where I know all my patients' names, and families, and everything, where I see them at the store, and at the park, but not today. Today, I need to get away from the memories. I've got a few interviews scheduled, up and down New England, and one as far down as New Jersey. It's a very prestigious hospital, or so I hear. I wouldn't know, though. Before I got drafted, I'd always expected just to help out Dad with something local, so I never paid attention to who was doing what and where. It seems like decades ago that I got the letter, telling me that I was going to Korea.

The interviews in New York and Boston were disappointments. I'd forgotten why I wanted to work with Dad in Crabapple Cove in the first place; large hospitals are far too concerned with making money, and far too unconcerned with their patients' health. I really don't want to have to deal with endless bureaucracy; I just want to save as many lives as I possibly can. People shouldn't die if they don't have to. The young men in Korea, still just children, didn't have to die. My mother didn't have to die. Nobody should have to die due to the ignorance and utter stupidity of a doctor, not in this century, not of something curable.

I quietly entered the dean of medicine's office. I immediately noticed that it was different, not like the other offices I'd been to. It was dark, yet somehow still warm. I knew of this person, a woman, one of the few women this high up in the chain of command. It was comforting, in an odd way I was reminded of Margaret. Her tent had the same feminine touch in a mostly masculine job.

The dean herself finally bustled in. "Lisa Cuddy. Good to meet you." She looked confused and a bit frazzled.

I smiled to myself, that look was quite familiar, she really was just like Margaret. "Benjamin Franklin Pierce, I'm here for the job interview, I'm a surgeon."

A flash of understanding passed over her face, and she smiled, relived. "So, Dr. Pierce, I heard you had some questions? I'd love to answer them."

For the first time since Korea, I bothered correcting somebody about this, "please, it's Hawkeye." She raised her eyebrow but didn't comment. "I just want to make sure this hospital is a good match for me. I want to save lives, not make money. That's been my primary concern with the other job offers I've had."

This guy was good. I'd heard he was, and I could already tell that he could be a vital asset to the hospital. I also noticed that he had the potential to be a major headache. It's bad enough trying to keep House in line, from what I'd heard of Dr. Pierce's reputation, he is just as bad, worse at times.

But, I should be able to handle him, and he would be good for the hospital in the long run. He's a world-class surgeon, but he wants to work here, instead of at a bigger hospital. Besides, I was good enough with House. I'd always heard how the second child is never as bad as the first one.

"Well, I think I'll accept your offer."

I was dumbfounded. Hadn't he ever heard of the proper etiquette in these situations? Negotiations, arrangements. I started to get nervous. Maybe two insane, childlike doctors in the same hospital wouldn't be such a good idea, after all. "What, no negotiations?"

He looked confused. "Did I do something wrong? I haven't ever actually gotten a job, I was in Korea for most of the time since school."

I smiled encouragingly. "You could have negotiated. Don't you want a better parking space or something?"

He thought for a minute, then laughed. "No, not really. I don't care where I park. I don't need more pay, I'm in my forties, single, no children. I don't have a big house. My expenses are almost none. You offered me the job I want, I'm taking it."

Well, at least this child doesn't play mind games. "Very well then, when do you want to start?"

"How quickly can the paperwork be filled out? Who works here, anyways? My life story is pretty much working locally for my father for most of my life, other than that. I never really kept track of big hospitals. I have experience, three years of 'meatball surgery', but I haven't really ever worked in a big hospital."

Well, he seems reasonable, and he'll be a big asset to the hospital. "You can start tomorrow, just getting a feel for the place. Our policy is to have you follow someone for the first few days, make sure you don't get lost." Who to make him shadow? All my surgeons are busy, he'll have to make do with shadowing another department head. Wilson's busy, or I'd make him do it, he's good with the newcomers. I might as well get this over with, these two will invariably meet soon enough. "I'll tell the head of diagnostics to expect you in his office tomorrow. Don't let him intimidate you. As long as you don't act like an idiot, you'll be fine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for a meeting. See you tomorrow."

And with that, I rushed out of my office, leaving him staring, bewildered, after me.