This was my one-shot for the All You Need Is Love Contest.
Thanks to my amazing beta and friend, coldplaywhore. She likes that comment button a lot, but I still love her :)
SM owns Twilight.
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though they're here to stay.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
I'm not half the man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me,
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.
September 5, 2010 1:30 PM
Fuck that place. I couldn't have gotten out of there fast enough if I'd tried. It had been a year, a whole goddamn year, I'd been trying to escape Princeton. It was Cullen tradition that every man went to Princeton University, but Edward fucking Cullen was effectively breaking that tradition with pride. I hated everything about it. I'd always wanted to go to Dartmouth and then attend the medical school there, but in an effort to please my parents, I went to Princeton.
I'd just finished moving into my apartment, which was on the second floor of a four story brownstone located near the school. Most of my boxes were unpacked, but all the ones in my bedroom were still sitting on the floor, unpacked and waiting for me to find places for their occupants. My brother, Emmett, who drove over from Princeton, was helping me move in, and we were both fucking exhausted.
Emmett and I found a decent place to eat about five minutes from my apartment and they had amazing burgers, but that was pretty much the entire menu had to offer.
Walking back down the street to my apartment after we'd eaten, Emmett decided that he needed to try and blow the biggest bubble he could with his chewing gum. However, Emmett being Emmett, the gum fell out of his mouth and ended up on his shirt. I burst out laughing at the sight of him trying, unsuccessfully, to get it off of his shirt without sticking.
"It's not fucking funny, man!" he shouted, frantically picking at the gum that was now all over the front of his t-shirt. "Rosalie bought me this shirt!"
"Well it's not her fault that you're a-" I started to say when I collided with another body. I'd been so distracted that I hadn't been looking where we were walking. I grabbed a hold of the body that I'd bumped into, and I could tell immediately that it was a woman, judging by the delicate feel of her small shoulders.
"I'm so sor…" I trailed off; stunned by the eyes I was staring into. Her brown eyes were evocatively familiar, and I knew immediately who they belonged to. They were simultaneously the most beautiful and haunting pair of eyes that I'd ever seen.
I hadn't seen this woman in two years, yet she was still the most gorgeous creature I'd ever laid eyes on, and as I gazed at her face, she looked exactly the same. Everything from the perfect shape of her nose, to the glint of pink in her otherwise pale cheeks, it was all the same. She even held her bottom lip in the exact same place between her teeth, which I remembered she did when she was nervous or embarrassed.
I was awestruck that I had her in front of me and I wasn't sure if I'd be able to speak. I didn't know if I would ever be able to let her go, but at the same time, I was doubtful that I would be able to stand holding her any longer. She'd broken my heart what had seemed like decades ago in my mind, but holding her in my arms, it felt like only yesterday that she left me without so much as a kiss goodbye.
"Bella?" I finally managed to ask. I watched as her eyes widened, glistening with unshed tears, as that unregretful, beautiful, painful summer flooded back into my mind. It had been locked away by an unsteady dam in the back of my memory.
March 4, 2008
"Hey, man, did you check out the new chick?" asked my friend, Jasper. He came to stand next to me at my locker, just like every other day after third period. His disastrous blonde hair stuck out in all directions as he stared at me with wide eyes. A goofy smile played across his face as he looked at me questioningly.
"No, I haven't seen her yet," I replied, shrugging my shoulders in disinterest. I hadn't met her yet, although the whole town had been talking about the family who was moving into the old abandoned house, right down the street from mine. I doubted she would really be any different from the rest of the girls in this shit hole town called Forks. Everyone was the same here, it was like being trapped in that stupid fucking movie with Nicole Kidman. All the women here - with the barely mentionable exception of a few - had the same, boring blonde hair, passing that awful gene down onto their pretentious daughters.
"She's fucking hot," Jasper continued. "Man, if I wasn't completely in love with Alice… and afraid for my life, I'd totally be hitting that right now." I rolled my eyes at the fool, because I'd known him for sixteen goddamn years, and he and Alice Brandon had been in love for all of them. It was sickening.
"Whatever, Jazz." I slammed my locker shut and walked over to my English class. When I walked into the classroom, there she was, sitting right next to the spot where I usually sat.
I was amazed by the sight of her. She was beautiful, and fuck me if there was another word to describe her, because 'beautiful' didn't seem to cut it; she was perfect. She was running one of her small hands through her long, dark brown hair, wrestling with a rubber band she held in the other. It was mid-March and the weather was beginning to get humid. Most of the girls wore their hair up when the weather started to get warmer, but being new she must have worn it down not knowing what she was up against. I didn't care, though. Anything that would allow me to see more of her face was a godsend in my opinion.
I managed to move away from the doorway and sit down next to her. I didn't know what to say. I didn't even know her goddamn name, even though most of the other assholes in this school probably did. She kept her hands in her lap as her eyes were trained on the copy of Catcher in the Rye and the notebook that rested on her desk. It was the book we were currently reading in the class. She was fiddling with her fingers and biting her lip; she was nervous. Hell, I'd have been nervous too coming here for the first time. Small town life was fucking weird if you weren't used to it and I could tell by the wrinkle in between her eyebrows that she wasn't.
"So, do you like Salinger?" I blurted out. Fuck. If I could have smacked myself without looking more like a lunatic, I would have. She jumped slightly at the obnoxiousness of my voice, but eventually turned to me.
"Excuse me?" she asked, the crease between her eyebrows growing impossibly tighter. She looked… sad though, like she wanted to snap, but couldn't. She looked like this was the last straw, the last person to bother her and make her want to run away screaming. I didn't want to be that asshole.
"It's the… uh, the book we're reading," I mumbled stupidly as I nodded my head towards her desk.
"Oh… yeah, he's alright, I guess," she replied quietly, looking almost relieved by my response. How could she have been be relieved by that shit? I was a fucking moron, asking her about the book we were reading in class. What the hell kind of lame question was that?
"So… are you liking the weather so far?" I asked in a sarcastic tone, gesturing to the hair she was still struggling to put up. Holy shit. The weather, Cullen?
"Umm… you're asking me about the weather?" she asked, obviously confused. I was so screwed.
"Fuck," I said under my breath. "No… I'm not, actually." I exhaled loudly, frustrated by my own goddamn stupidity.
"Oh. Okay," she said softly.
"I'm Edward, by the way," I said, thrusting my hand out towards her. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can't I even introduce myself to this girl without coming off as a psycho who likes to talk about J.D. Salinger and the weather? She looked at my hand, and then back at me, almost as if she expected me to say something else. When I raised my eyebrows at her, she took my hand, shaking it gently.
Nothing could accurately describe what her touch did to me. It felt as if I constantly had pins and needles in my hand, but it was a pleasant sensation, not painful like when your foot falls asleep and you can't fucking walk without falling.
"Do I get your name?" I asked with a hard edge to my voice. I was convinced that she would pull her hand away from me and disregard my existence until class was over. Instead, she looked back at me with a surprised expression and small smile graced her plump, pink lips.
Her hand slid from mine gingerly as Mr. Banner came into the room, announcing we had a new student. Bella blushed furiously at this announcement and waved tentatively to the rest of the class. I instantly felt protective of her the moment he called her to the attention of everyone in the room. I wanted nothing more than to grab her hand and take her away from every pair of eyes that were staring at her. Well, except mine of course. It was much more than an effort to tear my eyes away from her.
I was about to offer to walk Bella back to her car when she dropped her books onto the linoleum floor. I laughed and helped her pick them up.
"Why don't I walk you to your car and make sure you don't do that again," I said as I handed her notebook back to her. Her face contorted in offense, and I immediately regretted what I'd said. "Um, never mind. How about I just make sure no one bothers you?" I said in an attempt to save my sorry ass.
"Uh, sure," she said, smiling. She put her backpack on and I picked up my notebook and my copy of Catcher in the Rye from my desk and we walked out of the classroom. I didn't want to overwhelm her though. She looked like she might crack if she was asked another probing question. She stopped when she reached a green Volkswagen Jetta that was probably ten years old. It suited her though.
"This it?" I asked. She nodded, swallowing thickly. She looked nervous, like I'd cornered her or something.
"Okay… well, I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked, letting her know that I wasn't going to trap her with ten thousand questions and she could get home in peace.
"Yeah. Thanks again, Edward," she said with another smile. Fuck, if I made her smile by picking up her books and walking her to her car, I'd do it every goddamn day if I could.
That was the beginning of our routine. I'd see her in the cafeteria, she'd smile and wave at me, and I'd wave back, but we never sat together. I'd sit next to her in class and walk her to her Jetta afterwards. I loved the mornings when I'd get my ass to school early enough to see her leaving her house. I didn't know much about her family, but what I did know was that her father was in the Air Force, and they'd moved to Forks to be close to the US Air Force Base outside of Port Angeles.
We were becoming pretty friendly, and so far I knew that she loved classic rock, horror movies, but she was a sucker for a good romantic comedy. Her favorite fruit was a perfectly ripe apple, not too soft because then all the fun is taken out of it. Her dream was to go to Cornell and study English, because that's where her mother went. She hated talking about herself, but we'd made a deal that if she told me something about her, then I'd do the same. It was a pretty good routine. That was until Newton came around and tried to screw it up.
One day towards the end of April, I walked into English class to find him sitting in my seat, right next to Bella. In my fucking seat, practically touching her. The thought of his, or anyone else's hands on her made me fume with anger. I didn't know what to do since Bella seemed to be okay with him there. I didn't want to get all possessive over a chair, so I sat in the row behind them.
"So… would you… uh, want to go to prom with me?" he asked, stammering his whole way through the question. Bella's eyes widened ever so slightly before she answered.
Every fiber of my being willed her to say no.
"Um… I already have a date. I'm sorry, Mike," Bella responded as my heart sunk at her answer. She had a fucking date? Who the hell asked her? I balled my hands into fists on my lap and gritted my teeth, as Bella spoke again. "Actually, I'm a little near-sighted so, I'm gonna sit back a little further," she said. She was obviously trying to get away from his prying eyes, and I was relieved that she wasn't interested in that asshole. Newton looked confused and offended, since she obviously sat in that seat every day.
She sat down next to me, and an easy smile played across her lips when she looked at me. I smiled back and Mr. Banner walked into the room. Bella and I kept stealing awkward side glances at each other, rolling our eyes at some of Banner's comments about To Kill a Mockingbird, because we'd both read it already. About halfway into the class, she slid a piece of paper towards me, and I grabbed it while Banner wasn't looking. My heart pounded in my chest, wondering what she'd want to know that couldn't wait until after class.
I opened the note a moment later and I almost did a happy dance in the middle of the classroom when I read it.
Go to prom with me?
I grabbed my pen, trying to hide the smug smile that I was sure to have all over my face once class was over.
I thought you already had a date.
I slid the paper towards her and watched her smile as she opened it and began writing.
Well I was hoping someone would ask me, so I'm offering to be his date instead.
I smiled again, because this was exactly like her. She wasn't as shy as she came off; she was actually a little snarky once you got to know her. I wrote back quickly.
Well fuck, you beat me to the punch.
Bella read what I wrote and smiled. I didn't think she had the same feelings for me that I had for her, but maybe I was wrong. When class was over, Bella and I followed through with our usual routine, but by the time we got to her car, we still hadn't spoken a word to each other.
"So, prom, huh?" I asked as we stood by her Jetta, just staring at each other. I didn't know how else to bring the shit up.
"Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I don't really want to miss out on the experience or whatever," she said. "You don't have to take me if you don't want to, Edward." There was no way I was letting a single seed of doubt get planted in her head.
"Bella. Two things. One, I am taking you to prom, okay?" She nodded. "And two," I said as I took a deep breath before continuing. I needed to make sure whatever the fuck I was trying to say didn't come out wrong. "Can I please kiss you now?" Bella's eyes went wide at my question, but she blushed and nodded. Her teeth captured her bottom lip in between them and I leaned forward, cupping her cheek as I moved my thumb over her lip, pulling it from in between her teeth.
"You know, even though it's fucking cute when you do that, it would be a shame if you ruined a pair of perfectly good lips," I said before I pressed my lips to hers softly. Holy shit, if I thought her lips were good before, the taste of them made me forget everything else about what they looked like. They were soft, warm and welcoming. Bella cupped my cheek in her hand as her lips parted slightly, allowing me to taste more of her. I pulled back after a moment, needing to breathe. Her kiss was so overwhelming.
Bella had a gorgeous smile spread across her face, and I caught her lips with mine again quickly. I wanted to devour her, but I figured the school parking lot probably wasn't the best place for that.
"Oh yeah, it would be a real shame," I said with a chuckle as Bella simply blushed and shook her head.
"I'll have to remember that," she replied.
"Good, because I intend to keep using them."
We were practically inseparable after that. The next day, I picked her up from school and drove her home, where we stayed and did homework, which was basically code for making out. That was pretty much how everyday went for the next month. The day of prom, I didn't see Bella until I picked her up for the dance, which was in the school gym.
She was breathtaking in a simple blue gown that flowed perfectly around her small frame. It was strapless with one lone jewel in the center between her breasts. The dress reached just below her knees, which I noticed as my eyes traveled up her body, finally resting on her eyes, which were sparkling with excitement, like she never thought she would get to experience something like prom. Of course to some dickhead like me, it was sort of a given that I'd get to go to my high school prom, but not for Bella. With her family traveling so much as a result of her father's job, it was no wonder she was doubtful she'd ever find someone to go to whatever high school prom she happened to be attending.
She kissed my nose, which she knew I fucking loved, and I rolled my eyes and told her how stunning she was, because she was. She was just beautiful. We got into my Volvo and headed to the dance, which was pretty lame except for the fact that Bella was there. Had she not have moved to Forks, I didn't even know if I would have gone to the stupid dance, but I was going to make sure she experienced whatever she could while she was here, and I hoped with everything I had that she would be here permanently.
I knew I was in love with her. She was brilliant, ridiculous, witty, and whenever she laughed, it was contagious like a disease. Whenever she cried, I wanted to punch whoever caused her tears. That was when I knew for sure that I loved her, because my emotions were practically dependent on hers.
I took her to a pretty nice hotel in Seattle that night, where we spent most of our time making out and watching movies, which was pretty much our thing. I took her to the Space Needle the following day, because she'd never experienced Seattle before and I was trying to give her experiences she'd never had before because I knew it was hard for her, moving around so much. I knew that if we had sex that night, it wouldn't be one of those experiences; even though she'd told me before that she wasn't a virgin. She always got me with that word, experience, which was why I wanted to give her ones she'd remember for the rest of her life.
"Edward, you didn't have to do this. I was fine with just staying at the hotel and watching 'Dude, Where's My Car?'" Bella said as we arrived at Sky City, the restaurant in the Space Needle.
"I know I didn't have to do it, but I wanted to. You've never been to Seattle, so I wanted to take you. I've never been to the Space Needle, so I thought it would be fun to do together," I said as I grabbed her hand in mine. Bella blushed, that gorgeous pink taking over her cheeks.
"You're right, I'm sorry. Let's do it."
Those were almost the exact same words she said to me later that night at the hotel. We'd started 'Dude, Where's My Car?' but it was soon forgotten since she was so irresistible and I couldn't keep my hands, or my mouth, off of her. She was lying beneath me with her shirt off and her delicious, perky breasts were practically staring me in the face.
"Are you sure?" I asked, my body betraying my words as I pressed my aching hard on into her, and I bent my head down to kiss her neck.
"Yes… I love you, Edward," she blurted out, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. I pulled back from her neck and stared at her in shock, completely blown away that this girl was taking away every romantic chance I had. I wouldn't have changed her for anything, because there wasn't anything better than the girl lying beneath me. She stared right back at me, not waiting for a response, but waiting for my reaction. "And I'm not just saying that because you took me to the freaking Space Needle, and you're laying on top of me half naked. I'm saying it because it's true, and because I've been feeling it for a long time," she added. She kept staring at me, defiantly almost. It was like she was daring me not to feel the same way.
Fuck, she knew me well.
"Wow," I started, smiling and kissing the tip of her nose like she did to me constantly. "I love you, too, Bella," I said, kissing her mouth slowly, wanting her to feel the truth behind my statement. "I've been in love with you since the day I met you and asked you about fucking J.D. Salinger," I said into her neck.
That was all we said to each other for the rest of the night. I made love to her slowly, more tenderly and passionately than I ever thought possible. She was completely amazing, so responsive to my touch. The things I could do to her body, and everything she could do to my body drove me crazy. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced with a girl, and I suddenly realized why Bella was so particular with her experiences. Nothing happened the same way twice. That's what sex with Bella taught me, to never miss out on something just because you've done it before.
The next two months were perfect. Especially when school let out; we were with each other almost constantly. Of course I had to get a goddamn summer job, because I needed to learn how to be responsible, or so my parents said. Wasn't the fact that I wanted to be a doctor enough? I laughed at myself though, because I understood where they were coming from, but I just didn't like being away from Bella.
Everything had been perfect, up until one day where my life was shaken and turned upside down like the earth underneath my feet was crumbling before my eyes. We had gone to the drive in, since it was the middle of the summer and all that shit, and because I just loved being alone with her in a confined space.
Bella had gotten out of the car to get some snacks, and she had been taking a really long time, so I got out of the car and went looking for her. What I saw completely confused me and broke my heart. Bella was clutching onto Angela Weber, crying. No, crying wasn't the word for it, she was sobbing, completely falling apart, which was exactly how I felt when I saw her like that.
"Bella? Baby, what's wrong?" I asked, running over to her and pulling her into a hug after Angela let her go. Bella stood, wide-eyed in front of me, as if I were the last person she wanted to see her cry.
"Nothing, I, uh… I stubbed my toe," she mumbled as I looked down at her flip-flop covered toes. They were completely fine, and I knew she was lying to me. I put my arm around her. I needed to know what she wasn't telling me, but I wasn't about to do it in front of all her friends.
Once we got to my car, I pressed Bella up against it, placing my hands on her shoulders. "What are you keeping from me?" I asked in a pleading tone, searching her eyes for some sort of answer, as if I could stare at them long enough for them to tell me what was wrong with her.
"Nothing," she said quickly. "I told you, I stubbed my toe," she said, looking defiantly at me, urging me not to pressure her about it.
"Your toe is fucking fine, I can see it," I said, my voice rising as I gestured to her foot with my hands.
"It's nothing, Edward. Can we please just forget it?"
"No, I can't just forget it, Bella. And I don't think I'm in the mood for a movie anymore," I said as I stepped away from her and climbed into the driver's seat, starting the car. I waited for Bella to get into the passenger's seat and buckle herself in, before I pulled away and made an already awkward situation worse.
"Are you mad at me?" she asked, her voice still scratchy from her tears.
"I don't want to be mad at you, Bella. I love you, but I don't understand why you can't tell me what's bothering you, and don't tell me it's your toe or any of that bullshit."
She shook her head and looked at me. "No." It felt like my heart had literally cracked inside my body. If she couldn't tell me what was wrong, what did that mean? Did she not love me anymore? Did she ever really love me? I felt like an idiot.
"If you can't tell me what's bothering you, then I don't know what we're doing here, Bella," I said, motioning in between us. "I feel like I can't trust you and it feels ridiculous, because up until twenty minutes ago, I trusted you with everything." I saw a single tear flow down Bella's cheeks, illuminated by the moonlight pouring into the car. I turned my head toward the road, and didn't look back at her until we pulled up to her house.
"Maybe… maybe you can't trust me then," she finally said before she got out of the car and shut the door. Fuck that shit.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I shouted to her back, which was quickly walking away from me. That was the single worst sight I'd ever seen, my beautiful girl walking away from me. "Bella!" I chased after her until we were standing next to her front door. I didn't care if her parents heard me. "Don't walk away from me. I don't want to see you walk away. What's wrong? God, Bella, I love you, doesn't that mean anything to you?"
She opened her front door and stepped halfway inside the house. She turned to me and nodded her head, more tears spilling from her beautiful brown eyes before she closed the door, leaving me standing there alone.
That was the last time I saw her. The Swan family moved the next day, and apparently the whole goddamn town knew about it. Except me, the one person who ought to have known she was leaving. I called her cell phone countless times, but each time it said that the number had been disconnected. I would have stayed with her, I would have done the long distance shit for her, if only she had told me what was going on, but I guess I wasn't worth it to her.
I wrote her letters, mostly for myself, because I had no idea where she'd gone and I didn't know where to send them. After everything she put me through, I knew I still loved her.
Why she had to go Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
I don't know she wouldn't say.
I said something wrong,
Now I long for yesterday.
Now I need a place to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play.
September 5, 2010 1:31 PM
"Oh my god," Bella mumbled. I don't think I was meant to hear her, but I did. There was no way I was letting her get away from me this time. I looked over at Emmett, who was just staring at us like we were some sort of side show at a carnival.
Everything else in the world disappeared in that moment, and the only thing that mattered was talking to her and getting answers. "What are you doing here?"
"I, um… go to school here," she said quietly.
What the fuck?
"Dartmouth?" I asked, my eyes feeling like they might pop out of my head as she nodded. I didn't know what to do. She'd left me without any answers. Did I want an explanation? I was still in love with her. I thought I'd finally moved on from what she did to me, but I was wrong. Holding her in my arms, I knew that I would always love her.
Bella took a deep breath, closing her eyes. I admired the blush that traveled over her cheeks. She was still so goddamn beautiful.
"Do you want to get coffee or something?" she asked once she opened her eyes. My heart swelled and sunk at the same time, if that made any fucking sense. I wanted so badly to hear what she had to say, but at the same time I was scared shitless of what she would… or wouldn't tell me.
"Now?" I asked.
"Why not? I'm here, you're here. Wouldn't want to miss out, right?" she said. I almost laughed at how much the same she was, but I held back.
"Sure," I answered, turning to my brother. I walked over to where he was standing and told him that Bella and I were going for coffee, and he said he would go 'see the sights.' I laughed uneasily at his mock enthusiasm, because I knew he was just as hesitant about what Bella had to say as I was.
"I'll be back later, man. I need to get answers from her," I mumbled to him, hopeful that Bella didn't hear me. He nodded and told me he should be getting home to Rose anyway. I walked back to Bella, who led the way, since she knew the lay of the land.
We walked to the coffee shop in an awkward silence, because this situation was so incredibly uncomfortable. I loved this girl once… I still loved her, but for the last two years I thought I'd meant nothing to her, and I was starting to think that maybe I'd been wrong. She hadn't said or done anything to make me think that since I'd bumped into her five minutes ago, except ask me out for coffee. I didn't know whether that meant anything or not, but I was going to make sure I found out.
We sat down in a small booth and I wasn't wasting any time, apparently.
"Why did you leave without telling me?" I asked bluntly. Bella's eyes went wide at my question, but I wasn't backing down. I needed to know.
"I was… scared," she said hesitantly. I didn't know what to think, because she had run from me, gone to school at Dartmouth, where she'd known I wanted to go, and now she was asking me for coffee, but I was going to have to pry answers from her?
"Scared of what? Of me? I love you, Bella. You didn't have to run from me."
"You still love me?" she asked, sounding completely caught off guard. Fuck.
"I don't want to talk about me. Tell me why you left," I said in what I hoped was a firm tone.
"I was afraid of being apart from you. Every time my family moved… I always changed my cell phone number, I never said goodbye, because I hate that word, goodbye," she said it with disgust. "It sounds so permanent and final, and just… fatal. I wanted you to be able to move on faster, because putting you through a long distance relationship didn't seem fair. The idea of going through that myself terrified me, so I decided to just leave, giving you a clean break."
"But, Bella… I would have done it for you. I would have done anything for you. Everyone in town knew but me. You have no idea how badly that hurt, Bella."
"I do know now… and I'm so sorry. If I could take it back I would. I'd tell you I was leaving and we would have made it work. I don't want you to think I didn't love you, because I did… I do. More than anything," she said, and I could see the tears that had been threatening to spill over, finally flooded her beautiful face.
"Hey… hey, don't cry," I said, reaching over the table and wiping the tears from her face. I hated seeing her cry. No matter the pain she'd caused me, seeing her cry was worse.
The waitress came back with our coffees. Bella and I both fixed our drinks, staring down at them like they held the secret to the mysteries of the universe. It felt as if my life had changed to something completely different in the span of half an hour. I couldn't believe that I was really sitting with Bella, the girl who had broken my heart and didn't even leave me with glue to put it back together. Seeing her cry in front of me, confessing that she was sorry for everything that had happened… everything that she did, or didn't do, rather, it made my head spin. I know that it made me sound like a moronic pussy, but it was true. She was sending me into a tailspin and all I wanted to do was hold her close to me and tell her it was going to be okay.
"Why are you here? At Dartmouth, I mean," I asked after we both took a few awkward sips of coffee.
Bella laughed bitterly. "Because of you," she said simply. I looked at her with confusion, urging her silently to explain. "Last year, I knew I couldn't live without you. It had become pretty evident to me that I'd screwed up, so I applied to Dartmouth, because I knew that's where you wanted to go. I thought that maybe if I found you here, we could work out whatever I screwed up between us. But then I got here… and you were nowhere to be found." Holy shit. She applied to Dartmouth, and given up going to Cornell for me? I thought back to everything we'd talked about while we were together, and if there was one thing I knew about Bella, it was that she wanted to go to Cornell.
"You're serious? You gave up Cornell for me?"
She nodded. "I need you, Edward. I know I don't deserve another chance with you, but bumping into you today, I couldn't just let you go."
We talked a bit more about our lives up until this point. Apparently her family had moved out to California, and since then her parents had gone to Texas, where they were currently. We finished our coffee when an idea struck me.
"Bella? Would you like to come to my apartment tomorrow? You know, so we can talk some more," I asked as we were figuring out how to split the bill between us.
"Okay, I'd like that."
That night I slept restlessly, thinking about the fact that Bella had come back into my life, or at least I thought that's what was happening. Bella came over for lunch; she offered to bring the food and I readily agreed, since I was still moving in. She'd made a delicious salad and French onion soup, and we both devoured it.
"So, if you don't mind me asking… why are you transferring to Dartmouth now? Why didn't you just stick it to your parents the first time?" Bella asked as we sat down on the couch.
"I, uh, I don't really know. I guess I was just trying to make them happy, and going here, it reminded me a little of… us. How we used to talk about going to college," I said honestly.
Just as I was about to suggest we forget about it, Bella came at me. She threw her arms around my neck and offered sobbing apologies. After a few moments, I was able to pry her head from inside my neck so I could look at her. She looked at me nervously, biting her lip, and it reminded me of our first kiss. She looked at me as if I could disappear at any moment. I felt the same way about her.
I knew that this girl hurt me, but what I also knew was that she was sorry. I knew without a doubt, from the words she had spoken and from the look she had on her face in that moment, that she would do anything to have me back, and there was no way I could ever deny her anything, least of all myself. I lifted my thumb to her bottom lip, like I had done so many times in the past, and took it from between her teeth.
"What have I told you about ruining such a perfect pair of lips?" I asked as I captured her lips in a soft kiss. She tasted even better than I remembered, so sweet and supple. I knew I would never be capable of letting her go again. Bella straddled me as I sat down on the couch and began kissing my neck.
"I've missed you so much… I wish I never left you," she told me, and I could feel the wetness of more tears against my skin.
"Hey, you're here now, nothing else matters, okay?" She nodded.
In what seemed like hours later, I laid Bella out on the floor, and I was hovering over her mostly naked body and she was clinging to me like I would disappear if she ever let go. I was in my boxers and I could feel the heat of her against me through the thin material of her panties.
"Make love to me, Edward. Make it all go away," she pleaded as she tugged gently on the waistband of my boxers. I kissed her once more before I reached down and slid her underwear from her slim legs, taking my boxers off soon after.
I leaned back down to her and kissed her slowly before pushing inside of her. Being inside of Bella again felt like nothing I could ever describe. It was almost as if she had taken a part of me with her when she left, and now I was finally getting it back.
I was kidding myself; she'd taken all of me with her.
I began moving inside of her, and Bella wrapped her arms and legs around me, but not urging me on. She wanted this to last just as much as I did. Nothing else but Bella existed when we were like this, and it was even more intense feeling it when I'd lost all hope I would ever be with her again.
"Edward, I…" Bella cried. "I'll never leave you again, ever. I love you." She cupped my cheek in her small hands and kissed me.
"Never," I repeated against her mouth. "I love you, too. I never stopped."
Those were the last words that were spoken. I could tell she was getting close, so I began to move a little faster, building up to our imminent release. We moved in harmony, and with each movement, we were both healed a little more. She was erasing my pain, and I was doing the same for her.
"Edward, I'm…" Bella said, moving her little hips against mine faster now.
"Come on, baby. Let go," I urged. A moment later, Bella tightened around me and I brought my lips to hers, coming undone, as our kiss consumed the volume of our shared climax. I pulled out of her after a moment and brought her head to rest against my chest. "I'm sorry that happened on the floor," I laughed, kissing Bella's forehead.
"We're on the floor?" she asked. "I hardly noticed." She placed a kiss on my chest and I laughed, squeezing her tightly. It felt like nothing in between the time she left me and yesterday had actually happened. My life had been at a stand still until that moment.
"Yes, Edward?" she asked, her voice sounding tired.
"Loving you is one experience I never want to miss out on."
There is no longer an expansion to this one-shot. I'm sorry for anyone who wanted to see it expanded, but there seemed to have been some disconnect between my brain and my fingers when it came to this story.
Heaps of love go out to all of you, and I hope you still love me, because you haven't seen the last of me yet!