AN: My own little take on the situation in the episode All Our Yesterday's in which Spock shows his primal side a bit due to being forced back in time to an era where his ancestors where little more than savage beasts. As such I am aware that Spock may be a bit out of character but it was necessary since he is suppose to be deeply influenced by his more primal Vulcan urges in this work.
Disclaimer: If I owned Star Trek the following would be canon.
Warning: *cough* Spirk action ahead *cough*
Yesterday Is Today
He had not lied to the doctor; in his mind a simple exclusion of all of the facts did not constitute a lie. He had indeed been sound and whole when they had returned to their correct time in the library. The primal emotions that had awoken for the woman Zarabeth in the frozen waste land had been buried and he was more than aware of the fact that she was dead now some five thousand years in the past. He had impressed such upon the doctor with no hesitation. If he had kept to himself the new and unsettling stirring in his blood when he laid eyes upon the captain that was his own business.
It was not too difficult to maintain his normal composure at first, to bury the growing disquiet that was stirring within him. He had too many years of practice and training to be overcome by a simple stirring in his blood. He had worked too hard as a child and a young adult to have his efforts come crashing down around his feet now. So he resisted, buried the rustling beneath layers of logic and mathematical formulas.
It grew harder by the day. It started to encroach upon his sleep, giving him dreams that he had never received before. Dreams of burning and need, of blood rushing and sensation suffusing his body in its totality. It manifested itself in his interactions with the crew, his already brusque manner sharpening itself upon some unsuspecting ensign at the least possible provocation. While others brushed it off as nothing more than his usual manner he himself could feel that something was amiss. It was not however until it began to interfere with his duties as Science Officer that he really stopped to examine the situation.
It was a simple enough incident that would have been brushed off had he been human, yet as a Vulcan it was a rather alarming occasion.
The Enterprise had been in standard orbit around a relatively small and lowly populated planet, their mission to scan and document the progression of life below. It was a routine assignment, a task that he had performed a thousand times and yet he found himself standing still beside the captains' chair, staring down into the face of his friend, his eyes drawn solely to the movements of his lips. He was aware of further orders being issued to the crew and normally he would have already been at his station consulting the scanner and calculating data, but in that instance he was unable to force himself to move away from his current position and his intense study of the mouth that had captured his attention so ruthlessly.
He could not stop himself from measuring the degree of symmetry and trying to probe his own extensive banks of knowledge for the name of the exact shade of color that could accurately describe them. Exquisitely entrancing in their flawed perfection he was riveted, the thought floating forward and becoming stuck in his brain about what they would taste like. His thought process was interrupted by the very man he was examining.
"Mr. Spock is there something on my face or is there something I can do for you?" The slightly amused tone held no malice, only curiosity.
"My apologies Captain, I seem to have been lost in thought." The excuse was a pitiful one and yet it seemed more appropriate than the truth. He sincerely doubted the bridge wished to hear about his half formed observations regarding the minute details of their commanding officers mouth structure. 'Nor do they need such information,' a small part of him whispered.
"I trust that everything is alright?" The sentence was both statement and question and the underlying concern and affection that traced through the words struck a chord within him, forcing something deep inside his blood to bubble and writhe.
'See,' it whispered to him softly. 'See how he cares for us. See how his emotions are focused on us so easily. See the influence we have on him. Think of what he would do for us. Think of what we could make him do. We could make him ours, tie him to us, and keep him for always.'
Startled at the directions of his thought and the feral quality of them he tried to force his mind to clear, to fill with the soothing strains of mathematical structures and equations. He managed to suppress the feral tinge to a deeper level but he was unable to quiet it as he always had before.
"Quite alright Captain, I simply wished to inquire if you would enjoy a game of chess in my quarters after shift today." It was less of a question and more of a statement and the whispers tried to rise again but he forcefully shoved them down.
"I would be delighted Mr. Spock to place myself upon the mercy of your hospitality for the evening." The grin that accompanied the sentence was almost blinding in its intensity and charm.
"Very well Captain. I shall await you in my quarters." He drug himself away then, back to his post in order to attend to his actual duties and was unable to stifle the almost growl like noise in his mind. 'Yes,' it thought. 'Our mercy is exactly where we wish you to be.'
He never understood the earth colloquial phrase of 'sweet torture' until that night. The chess match was as intellectually riveting as always though he won the match with his rather brutal mathematical strategy, unwilling to lose to Jim in that instance; something driving him to prove his skill. The conversation was stimulating as it flowed easily from one topic to another, and yet there was a tension within himself that had never been present before. A coiled readiness that shifted directly below his skin, stretching his nerves taunt no matter how he tried to relax them. He had never felt this way before, never felt the need to crawl out of his own skin and into someone else's.
When they settled into quiet companionship over dinner he could not silence the slight purring that reverberated through his body. He knew the moment Jim picked up on the sound, saw the confusion and then the understanding dawning in his eyes and yet for some reason the other man chose to remain silent about the sound, to not joke and try to elicit an emotional response as he normally would have. It seemed as if he was enjoying the evening as well.
Afterwards when the evening meal had been completed and he had risen to gather the dishes to place them in the receptacle his body seemed to act on its own volition. Subtly his hand reached across the table to gather the tableware and instead his fingers had lightly brushed Jim's in a manner which almost caused his breath to catch in his throat. The Vulcan kiss, an act shared only with members close to his own species or with his mate, as it was for his mother and father. He had only done such a thing once, with the commander of the Romulan vessel that he and Jim had infiltrated. Even then the arch of electricity was nothing compared to the jolt that traveled through his body and straight to his heart when his digits brushed his captains'.
From the quickly indrawn breath across the table he could tell that Jim had felt it as well, though he was sure that the other man was not familiar with the cause.
"S-Spock?" The voice across the table was almost breathless, the tone shaky and a small part of his inner being smirked at the knowledge of what a single kiss in the way of his people could do to the suave and debonair man across from him.
"Apologies Captain, an accident I assure you. I shall endeavor to refrain from doing such again…without your permission." The statement hung in the air between them, his Vulcan makeup preventing him from out right lying and his primal beast urging him to press the matter.
Jim cleared his throat awkwardly across the table. "No harm done Spock, it was just rather unexpected. We've touched in the past and I've never felt anything like that before…" He trailed off, his tone taking a slightly dreamy quality at the recalled spike in sensation.
"Entirely my fault Jim, I am afraid that I had a momentary lapse in which my shields dropped."
Smiling shakily Jim rose from his chair and proceeded to wave the matter off in his customary manner. "Like I said Spock no harm done. Now this evening has been as entertaining as always but I am afraid that I need to head to my quarters."
"Of course Captain. I shall see you tomorrow for alpha shift." He crossed around the table, something driving him to step close to his friend, to slightly invade the personal space of the other and to feel almost absently displeased when he backed away and out of the door with another wave and a soft goodnight.
"Run while you can," a small piece of his mind seemed to coo. "Run while you have the chance for soon we shall catch you and never let you go."
It became worse after that night, the feral quality becoming more a part of his everyday persona and harder and harder to suppress in the presence of others. It manifested itself more often when in the company of Jim. It became a living seething thing beneath his skin around the other man, even more unruly than when around the rest of the crew. He became increasingly agitated around the female portion of the crew that seemed to always be underfoot during the off hours that he spent with Jim, not to mention the numerous females that they continued to meet along the course of their missions aboard the Enterprise.
He became a type of watchdog where his friend was concerned, arranging to be with him nearly every moment of the day, meeting him outside his door in the morning and taking meals with him. He could not find a logical explanation as to his pressing need to be around him all of the time and yet he was loath to cease his actions. His invitations to chess and dinner in the private of his quarters became a nightly ritual until the scent of the other man seemed to permeate everything he owned and Jim himself seemed to permanently carry the smell of the sweet Vulcan incense that dominated his room. That made the beast in his blood sit up and growl in contentment, happy to know that they had marked each other even if in only the barest of senses.
His attachment to the captain did not go unnoticed by the rest of the bridge crew, he had seen Sulu and Chekov sending him subtle glances and the whispering amongst them when they thought no one was looking. He knew that the crew had begun to gossip about him and speculate on the nature of his and the captains relationship. He did nothing to dissuade the others of their thoughts, pleased in some way at the notion of Jim belonging to him, of the others being aware of his claim upon the captain.
It was like a dance, an intricate pattern of which only he knew the design. He gravitated to Jim, and his constant orbit around the man forced others to back off, acknowledging silently his ownership. It became a finely honed art form of dissuading others from forming romantic attachments to him, until a single sharp look at an overly friendly crew member or visiting dignitary would have them back-peddling into an all business attitude.
He knew that Jim was puzzled, that everyone's suddenly business like attitudes towards him hurt him in someway. He knew that one of Jim's greatest fears was being left alone. He knew these things and yet did not back away, did not stop his silent guardianship or intimidation. In his mind there was no need for others to be around Jim constantly, he would provide all necessary companionship. The one exception he did make was that of Doctor McCoy for he knew that the two men's relationship was strictly platonic, like that of siblings, and that neither would stand for being separated from the other for extended periods of time.
Slowly he stepped up his actions, the now more prominent feral presence within himself recognizing and accepting that he was courting his intended in the ancient ways. That he was providing companionship, entertainment, nourishment, counsel, and protection as was expected of a Vulcan male when attempting to woo a mate.
He began to purposely touch Jim more often, maintaining a strict control on his shields so as not to flood his human with his emotions. Gently he worked at making Jim accustomed to the feel of his hands upon his shoulder, his arm brushing against him, occasionally a steadying hand at the small of his back. Small things to humans, but actions of significance amongst his fathers' people. After some time had passed and Jim no longer started underneath his touch, no longer was surprised at the feel of his hands upon him he increased the frequency of their contact and allowed the smallest sense of calm and contentedness to pass between them.
He started small, barely a fleeting hint of emotion, just enough to slowly grow the other man accustomed to his psychic imprint. He injected emotions whenever the situation warranted it, blanketing Jim with contentment and calm. He worked patiently and slowly until eventually the day came that Jim calmed under his hand without the aid of an extra emotional dosage, until the other man took unconscious comfort in his touch without any interference from himself.
It became apparent that his efforts were paying off when Jim began to seek him out on a regular basis, when he began to take even more of an initiative in their activities together, began to touch him in a million little ways that seemed almost unconscious to him. The beast within purred in delight, their human was comfortable with them and sought them out as an almost second nature.
His control was tested the night that Jim fell asleep in his quarters, stretched out across his bed and surrounded by mementoes from his home planet. The Vulcan statues and weaponry provided a beautiful contrast to the almost delicate humanity of his companion. He had been tempted, so very tempted in a way unsuitable to a Vulcan, to climb into the bed with him, to twine his body around the one that rested amongst his pillows and to claim him in that moment. He had held himself back, aware that his friend was not yet ready for the step that he wanted to take, not yet accustomed to what such a thing would entail.
Instead he had settled into a chair beside the bed, back straight and hands clasped in his customary thinking pose as he observed the man before him. His eyes raked over the body displayed for him, covered only by a pair of loose pants and a black undershirt, the golden brown hair tousled and his eyes hidden by slumber. Such an exquisite specimen. He wanted to strip away the coverings, to chart and diagram every piece of him that he had not managed to see and touch over their years together. Wanted to map out every dip and curve of muscle with his fingertips and watch the skin flush as he retraced his path with his tongue.
He watched and yearned and when morning came he was in the same position when honey brown eyes fluttered open to meet his own, a jaw cracking yawn splitting open the face he had spent the past hours studying. Confused eyes blinked before settling into a vaguely guilty and embarrassed expression.
"Spock…please tell me you didn't sit there the entire time! You should have woken me and sent me to my own room."
"I assure you Jim that it is quite alright. As you know Vulcan's do not have the same rest period as humans and you were for all intent and purposes…comfortable. Had the situation in any way be detrimental to the health of either of us I would have taken the proper steps to awaken you and send you on your way. Furthermore I have found that your presence in my quarters is rather conductive to a calming atmosphere." The words were delivered in a soft and almost intimate tone as he rose and hovered over the still sprawled form of his captain. "If you permit it I shall take the initiative to gather the suitable attire for you from your quarters and you may make use of the bathing facilities in this room."
He was pleased to note that the answering nod came immediately and without hesitation, as if the thought that it would be just as easy for Jim to leave and return to his own quarters had never crossed the mans mind. Jim's willingness to allow him to provide for him in this manner as well was proof of the other mans comfort level with him. As he headed towards the door the sound of his name being called almost hesitantly halted him.
"Yes Jim?" Looking back he was surprised to see his friend with his head down and fingers twiddling nervously with the coverlet. Such bashfulness was rather uncommon in James Kirk.
"I…um…just wanted to say thanks for letting me sleep here. Bones has been riding me about getting some rest and I was so relaxed here that it might finally get him off my back."
"Thanks are unnecessary Jim as I stated before I too benefited from your presence. Consider this an open invitation to partake of my quarters whenever you so desire. My door Captain is never locked to you." With that he strode from the room calmly as if he had not just told his commanding officer that he enjoyed having him in his bed and that the offer to take residence in his room was an ongoing one.
A pattern developed after that; Jim would regularly fall into slumber while encased in the pillows of his bed and he would take up a bedside vigil in his chair or would take the time to meditate while in the relaxing presence of his intended. On one of the rare nights that he actually spent alone he had drifted into a light slumber when the whooshing of his door had alerted him to an intruder and his body had tensed in preparation of protecting itself. The sound of familiar shuffling footsteps had relaxed him as he realized that non other than Jim had entered his chamber and from the sounds of his movements the other man was not too aware of what he was doing.
Maintaining his regular breathing patterns so as not to alert his guest that he was awake he waited silently to see what the other man would do. When the weight of another body settled itself on the other side of the bed and a second even breathing pattern developed he allowed himself a small sense of satisfaction. Jim had sought him out even in his sleep, his body unable to find the level of rest he had grown accustomed to and it had sought out the source. When a cool arm found itself across his chest he allowed his eyes to slip closed as his chest reverberated with the soothing purr intended to put ones mate at rest. More at peace than he could ever remember being in the past he allowed the comfort of sleep to overtake all but the most basic parts of his brain, determined to have at least an ear open for any possible danger.
He awoke some hours later to the sound of steady breathing in his ear and the feel of a cool body pressed snugly against his side, his own arm wrapped possessively around a waist, hand splayed across bare skin underneath a loose fitting sleep shirt. It was a feeling that he was not accustomed to but would gladly be willing to change his personal schedule in order to experience again. Pleasure and a sense of safety flowed through the bond created by their bare skin being pressed together as it was. He was loath to move as his internal clock told him that they both had more than a sufficient amount of time to awaken before they needed to prepare for their shift, yet he found that sleep would not be possible for him at that moment.
Briefly he thought of rising first, of allowing Jim to believe that he had fallen asleep in the bed alone before he dismissed the idea in its entirety. It was time for them to progress to the next stage in the courtship, time to let Jim in on his true intentions. Instead he shifted his body, the movement rougher than was natural to him and yet gentle enough to be mistaken for an involuntary movement in sleep. It roused Jim as he knew it would, the poorly stifled gasp from his side letting him know without looking that his companion was awake and rather quickly alert. The hand that still encircled the waist beside him allowed him to feel the sudden rush of arousal and embarrassment that flooded his friend.
Not so subtle shifting alerted him to his captains' intent to vacate the bed without waking him. In a movement that he knew would take the other by surprise he sat suddenly upright, his grip on Jim forcing the other man into a sitting position along with him. Slowly his grip tightened, squeezing the flesh beneath his hand gently before releasing and trailing his fingertips slowly across the skin beneath them as they exited the shirt they had burrowed underneath. His eyes locked with those of Jim he waited until the last possible second before skin to skin contact would be broken before dropping his shields and allowing every piece of withheld longing and desire to radiate out from himself and into the other. He watched with rapt attention as his intendeds eyes fluttered closed, his face flushed and he uttered a helpless moan of pure want.
Just as quickly as it began it was over, the contact between them gone and the feelings only an echo within their own bodies. His free hand rose until it was level with the face across from him before it pressed gently against the psi-points he was so accustomed to and drifting from there to brush fleetingly against the lips that had so fascinated him that day in the past.
"I trust that you slept well Jim." His voice was low, a rough gravely sound underlain with that purr that had made itself so well known in the past weeks.
"Spock…" It was a breathless utterance, barely making any sound at all and yet conveying so much.
"Yes Jim?" He was almost amused at how closely this conversation seemed to resemble the one that had take place when Jim had spent that first night in his quarters.
"What was that?" His voice was stronger this time and yet still possessed a slightly shaky quality.
"My shields were down once again." It was a statement, not an apology like the last time. This time it had been deliberate to the fullest sense. Slowly he raised the hand that had fallen from Jims' face and brushed the fingertips across the others right hand, copying the action that had taken place at dinner so long ago. Kissing him in the Vulcan way, his shields lowered and his inner emotions running rampart. The moaned version of his name he received was well worth the lowering of his inhibitions.
Unable to help himself his head lowered, his mouth fitting itself to Jims', his tongue flicking out and being granted entrance in an instance, finally able to know the taste he had so longed to discover. The exquisitely natural taste of Jim and apples. Methodically he explored the mouth that was presented to him, his rough almost feline like tongue tracing every tooth and crevice. Only when he was satisfied that no spot was left unexplored did he pull back, his eyes once again locking onto those across from him. The honey brown orbs were dazed with the force of both their passions, glazed over with sheer emotion.
"I hope the experience was as pleasant for you as it was for me Jim." He could not help but quip at the dazed man.
"More than pleasant Spock, more than pleasant." The answer was rough and almost as low as his voice, both of their desires making themselves known in the other man.
"Then I shall endeavor to repeat the exercise." With that his mouth swooped back down, capturing its target as his superior strength forced the body attached to his back until they were both laying down, his body hovering over that of his captain.
Their tongues dueled as their hands entwined and released, a rapid dance of fingers across fingers as they kissed in both the human and the Vulcan way. Breathless and aware that things could not progress unless Jim was fully informed he drew back, almost panting as he stared down at the figure sprawled beneath him.
"I offer you a partnership James. A togetherness that will never be found with another, a oneness in every way. If that is not what you desire you must inform me now. Once done this thing can not be undone so easily." He did not enjoy speaking of their union being dissolved before it had actually happened but he would not be unfair to his human by not informing him of all of the details ahead of time.
"I think that I would like that Spock, I would like that a whole lot I believe." The answer was steady and sure, the voice unwavering in his certainty.
"Then let it be so." His finger once again rose and connected with the psi-points on the others face, the primal side of him surging to the forefront of his mind, determined to imprint itself as deeply as it could manage upon its chosen mate. Their minds connected with the relative ease of long time friends and partners, hurling them each forward into the others being, revealing all of what one was to the other. The words that had been imprinted upon him since birth rose in his mind, words he had only spoken once before but had just now gained true meaning. "Parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched. I meet you at the appointed place."
He saw when true understanding and acceptance fluttered through the mind that he had immersed himself in. Saw the memory rise in Jim's mind of when he had said those words to T'Pring, and knew that he would understand what needed to be said next.
"Parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched. I await thee." The response fluttered on birds wings through his mind. It was not the true and official ceremony that would have taken place upon his planet but the words were both symbolic and binding. They would suffice for now. The primal part of him roared in triumph, startling his mate with its intensity until he had to soothe the man with waves of serenity and peace. He could not repress the shudder of sheer pleasure that wracked his frame as he felt the bond snap into existence, a vibrant gold that pulsed with the force of their combined lives.
Slowly he withdrew he consciousness, leaving Jim's mind without actually departing. Their thoughts now echoed within each other, they were one entity living separately now and forever. When he felt his being center itself he wasted no time in once again swooping down and capturing the willing mouth below him, his hands now working to lift and remove the shirt that kept his prize from him. Jim quickly caught on and began his own battle with his partners' shirt. They parted for a brief moment to allow the clothing to pass between them before mouths and hands renewed their attacks with vigor and passion.
Nimble fingertips captured pink tinted nipples and squeezed gently causing the kiss to break and a sharp gasp to be heard. His mouth attacked the throat that was now exposed to him, kissing and nipping, leaving dark pink streaks in his wake. Carefully he maneuvered his body until he kneeled above Jim, his legs now resting in the open and inviting hollow of Jim's splayed thighs. Hands trailed down, skin brushing skin as he traced a path from nipple to navel and back, going further down to tear the pants that covered his human at the seams and to toss them carelessly to the side, his eyes drawn to the weeping erection that greeted him.
His rumbling purr filled the air along with the panting and gasping of both of them. Unable to wait any longer to taste his bond mate his tongue slithered out to trace firmly along the head of his cock, his purring doubling at the taste of his essence. Jim cried out, a soft yearning noise at the feel of his rough tongue tracing his sensitive flesh. Pleased by the pleasured sounds his actions produced he traced his tongue back down from tip to root and up again, feeling the echoes of his mates pleasure through their new bond. Beyond encouraged he leaned forward to swallow him to the root, relaxing the muscles of his throat to take him all the way down, the rumble of his purr never stopping. The burst of echoed pleasure was enough to make his eyes clench shut in a desperate attempt to retain control.
Rearing back he trailed his hands upwards until his fingers hovered over those enchanting lips and he shuddered as an agile tongue darted out and wrapped around one, drawing it into the hot mouth of his bonded. His eyes slipped closed at the crush of sensation, the hot wet heat surrounding his finger causing his vision to be flooded with light. With a gruff sound in the back of his throat he removed his imprisoned digits from their pleasurable captivity to lower them down his mates' body and trace the delicate ring of muscles that stood between him and complete possession of his human.
Leaning forward he braced himself with one hand while the other flirted with his target as he leaned down to capture Jim in yet another intense kiss. When the kiss grew to heated heights he nudged his finger forward the slightest bit and penetrated the muscular ring, stilling at the feel of hot flesh surrounding his digit once again. He felt his bonded tense below him the slightest amount and using the bond that was reinforced by all of their physical contact he sought to reassure his mate. He felt the relaxation over take the other man in his mind before it even became known in his body.
Cautious not to induce any more pain than was necessary he added another finger and slowly scissor them to further stretch his mates body. When he felt as if the preparations were enough he removed his fingers and with one final kiss lifted his body upwards, hands falling to his own pants which he discarded quickly before coming back down to rest on the bare thighs before him. He easily lifted the others legs and laid them above his, his own erection now pressed snugly against the cheeks of his bonded.
One hand reached down to guide himself to his rightful place, while the other reached upwards to once again strengthen the bond through another meld. He wanted to share everything between them, the pain and the pleasure that was to come. So at the instant he reinstated the bond he thrust forward pushing through the relaxed muscle to seat himself deep within his humans' body.
The twinges of pain that radiated from Jim were met by those of his own pleasure. They swirled around each other becoming one and reverberating between them until it was almost too sweet to bear. He could feel the sensation of being full along with the sensation of filling Jim. It was exquisite; the most pleasurable coexistence he had ever experienced.
Unable to stop he thrust forward softly, the hand that had guided him rising to grip the still weeping erection before him, stroking it slowly in time with his gentle thrust. He felt and heard the moan that came from his partner, felt phantom hands stroking him just as he stroked Jim. Felt the pleasure of finally possessing his mate in everyway.
Their rhythm was a slow torture so as not to upset the meld. They felt each stroke and thrust two fold, experienced each others pleasure until it gnawed at their sanity. They road the fog of heat until it finally became too much for them and together in the same instance they body tumbled over the edge into climax.
Panting, exhausted and yet strangely refreshed he cradled the spent body of his now lover to his own slightly furred chest as he reflected over the happenings of the past few months. He had allowed his baser side to take a hold of him, had compromised his Vulcan teachings and had allowed the beast his ancestors had worked so hard to repress to have some measure of control over his actions. He knew that to others his actions would be seen as a failure to uphold the teachings of Surak, an inability to focus primarily on logic that had undoubtedly been brought about by his inferior human blood.
Yet he found as he stared down at the ravished and marked body of his bond mate that he did not see the situation as a failure. As his closest friend and companion his captain had often been able to elicit an emotional response from him. Now as his bond mate such a thing would no longer be frowned upon. He would have a mental link with Jim at all times that would alert him to his physical and emotional health. He would be able to locate him much easier in the future than he had in the past. When his next Pon Farr cycle arrived he would no longer be in danger no matter how far from Vulcan he was at the time. Their being bonded solved many problems that they had faced in the past and as such to him it was in all ways simply logical.
The fact that he loved the man with all the pieces of his soul was simply an added bonus.
AN: Right so that was my first try at a Star Trek lemon with a dash of a primal Spock thrown in for spice. I hope that it was well done and I would appreciate any feedback!