A/N: Schultz mode I own NO-THINK! /sm And this is not directed at anyone in particular. It just came to me.
Somewhere in the dimension where all fanfiction becomes reality, nine figures entered a moonlit glade. In the middle of the clearing stood a short pillar, on which rested a black object that none of them had ever seen before.
"Wondrous strange," breathed Boromir son of Denethor.
"Wha' is i'?" frowned Peregrin Took.
"An' wot's it doin' 'ere?" added Meriadoc Brandybuck.
"I sense no evil in it," reported Legolas Greenleaf.
Gandalf the Grey looked it over and concurred.
"P'r'aps it's somethin' we need for the Quest," ventured Samwise Gamgee.
"Something to eliminate these infernal hinderances we always seem to encounter, I hope," groaned Frodo Baggins. Gimli son of Glóin grumbled his agreement.
Finally Aragorn son of Arathorn strode forward and took hold of the box. His skilled fingers quickly found the method of opening it; when he did so, he found a single sheet of paper. On it was written:
This is called a laptop computer. Press the square button on the right-hand side; instructions will appear on the screen. May the blessings of the Valar be upon you.
Aragorn shrugged and pressed the button. Everyone started in surprise when light streamed from the upper half of the box and music played briefly. In short order a document appeared explaining why such random events were occurring and why their feelings, despite their better judgement, were constantly being played with in sometimes unnatural ways. It also detailed the way in which the computer could be used to help them out of their predicament: They could write themselves out of sticky situations, and they could also write reciprocal fics that affected the lives of their authors (except, of course, for J. R. R. Tolkien).
When Aragorn finished reading this aloud, the nine members of the Fellowship of the Ring looked at each other and smiled slowly. One thought possessed them all: revenge.
"Shall we?" asked Gandalf simply.
Let justice roll down like the waters,
Righteousness like an everlasting stream.