Waluigi Gets A New Home

By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus

Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Well, I wanted to make a point that Waluigi sorta lived in the dumps, since he's only been in sports and parties, and (sadly) not adventures. So that's essentially the explanation for making this - so that Waluigi can finally get out of the slumps and live on his own, in the beautiful, wide open meadows, of which is all owned by him! And before you ask any questions, this is sorta like a prologue to my entire Waluigi series. No, I never told you or anyone else about it, but now I have. And I'm afraid I have to leave you on that note.

Disclaimer: Waluigi belongs to Nintendo. Everything else in the story belongs to their owners.


Waluigi yawned loudly as he stretched his long lanky arms, standing up from his purple bunk bed that was held up by the two wooden poles on both sides of the blanket. For more than ten years was Waluigi spending most of his life living in the slumps, sleeping away behind the traffic congested highway that progressed though Central City. Having used several warp portals to participate in several sports and parties over the years, Waluigi's home within the concrete jungle was sort of small, to say the least. All Waluigi had was his bed, his trophies, his awards, and both a grill where he made hot juicy hamburgers and a deep fryer where he fried french fries. He also had a nice purple-colored cooler for several of his Coca-Cola and Pepsi cans, most of the time having them as a last resort since he usually brews his own lemonade and grape wine. Waluigi sighed as he headed towards the front of the construction zone that was still being built on, picking up a recent newspaper from the nearby stand as he opened it up, mumbling to himself.

"Hurr durr, let's see... nothing, nothing, nothing..." Waluigi rolled his eyes as he groaned, "Isn't there anything hat's even remotely interesting in her?" He then pondered to himself, rubbing his chin as he asked, "Speaking of which.... shouldn't I be thinking about where I should move? My pad is a dump, literally." He mumbled again as he continued skimming the newspaper, stopping as his eyes opened up widely, seeing a section that actually interested him. "Ahh, here we go! The places to be... a volcano... a desert..." He gasped in shock as he placed his left index finger in the newspaper, exclaiming, "A huge green, grassy meadow with wide, clear blue skies and nothing the eye can see for miles upon miles of pure green grassy hills! This is perfect for me!" He laughed as he looked at the price tag, when he stopped laughing. "Ten thousand coins!? Where am I going to get that..." He rubbed his chin as he turned around, looking up at the construction zone. "Hmm... I could simply do some construction, but where would that get me..." He sighed as he shrugged, stapling the newspaper to the pole on the right, so he would remember. "WHatever! It's worth a shot, and if I can get ten thousand coins, I'll be in the clear!" He laughed as he rushed off, jumping on a moving platform as he joined in on the construction.

Five minutes and forty seven seconds later, Waluigi was covered in dirt as he wiped his forehead, sighing. He tweaked one of the platforms with his trusty old wrench, placing it away in his back right overalls pocket as he jumped down from the construction site, dusting off his hands as he quickly slapped his dirty clothes with brand new, sparkling clean clothes, which were exactly similar.

"There we go! Nothing like a little work here and there," Waluigi commented as he folded his arms, grinning, "And that netted me at three hundred coins! Not a bad start for-" He froze, realizing just how much more he would have to get. "Oh... damn it..."

Later, he was pacing back and forth around his tiny home, wondering how to get more. He could use a little exercise, so Waluigi decided to head into one of the nearby warp portals, ending up in the Mushroom Meadows. He grinned as he saw plenty of gold, sparkling coins abound, allowing Waluigi to gain some cash quick and easy!

"Excellent! This is just what I need!" Waluigi exclaimed as he grabbed the fifteen coins that were on the straight, dirt-paved path, grabbing the coins that were floating in mid air. He then spotted three purple-colored Eggplantmen heading towards him. Simply chuckling, Waluigi performed his Waluigi Tornado, knocking out the three Eggplantmen with ease as he approached a right turn. Turning to the right, Waluigi jumped into the green warp pipe, grabbing as much coins as he could by stuffing them in the front and back pockets of his purple overalls as he fell downward. Landing on a rough rock, Waluigi got back to his senses as he kicked the rock in half, revealing twelve gold coins. He grabbed them, and then ran through the entire underground maze.

Having gathered four hundred coins by abusing the ? blocks and hard blocks repeatedly, Waluigi had enough to cover him. He quickly opened up a warp portal on his own, sending all the coins back to his home as he resumed his money-fueled adventure. Suddenly, several boulders ran over Waluigi, flattening him like a pancake. Waluigi growled, but gasped as the boulders were actually rolled piles of green dollar bills on each other. Remembering that one simple dollar bills was worth ten gold coins, Waluigi punched the five balls of dollars, stuffing them into his pocket. He laughed with glee as he climbed the nearby ladder, punching the Eggplantmen that was climbing on the other side. Getting back on top in the green grassy meadows, Waluigi encountered several red-colored Dino Wrenches munching down on the dollar bills. Fuming with rage as his face turned red from anger, Waluigi let out a horrendous war cry as he took out his old monkey wrench and started smashing the Dino Wrenches into pieces. Having smashed eleven, Waluigi watched as the remaining Dino Wrenches, who were biting at Waluigi along with their fallen comrades, headed towards the northern direction, fleeing for their own lives. Waluigi grinned as he tossed his wrench in the air, spinning around as it smoothly landed in the back right pocket of his overalls. Snatching up the dropped dollars, which were nearly ripped to shreds, Waluigi hastily paced them back together, heading westward to collect more coins and dollars. Waluigi ran up a steep hill, seeing a mouthful of gold coins heading downward. Waluigi ran down the hill extending his arms out like an airplane as he collected the gold coins, spinning and then jumping into the air as he snatched the floating gold coins. He then landed face first in a mud pile, getting up as he saw several Cheep Cheep in the nearby fresh water lake. Seeing some jewels sparkling within the depths of the lake, Waluigi took the opportunity to jump in and startle the Cheep Cheep, scaring them away as he pulled out the jewels. Nearly knocking his left eye out, Waluigi headed back up for air, chucking the newly acquired jewels into another warp portal.

"Nine Thousand And One Coins gathered... one thousand, nine hundred, and ninety nine coins left," Waluigi smirked as he approached land, when he was snatched by a tentacle, being pulled under the lake.

Waluigi struggle for his life, turning around to see a giant, angered Blooper holding him prisoner. Waluigi growled as he tried forming a tornado, but failed, being squeezed harder. The Blooper then repeatedly slammed Waluigi into several walls, wounding him severely. Waluigi moaned as several of his teeth fell from his mouth, the blood heading upward into the cool water stream. Waluigi then regained consciousness and bit into the Blooper's tentacle, forcing the giant squid to set him free. Waluigi then proceeded to kick the monstrous beast in the face, swimming away as he jumped right out of the lake, rolling on the flowers that were blooming. Gasping for air, Waluigi placed his left hand on his chest as he took one glance at the lake, and then headed back towards the grassy meadows. After rolling down several hills, fighting off Eggplantmen and Dino Wrenches, and having tangled with several deadly vines that were in the way of Waluigi's path, the tall lanky mustached man pumped his right fist in the air, claiming victory as he finally gathered more than ten thousand coins to pay for purchasing the wide open meadows he so deemed worthy. Heading back to Central City via a warp portal, Waluigi gathered all of his belongings, and took one last glance at his former home.

"Well... it's been real..." Waluigi gave a salute as he took off his purple cap, closing his eyes as he simply nodded. Placing his cap back on, he jumped on his Phantom bike and rode off, his belongings following in a purple-colored wagon that was attached to the back of the Phantom. Heading towards the northeast, Waluigi stopped at the home purchasing area, where he handed over ten thousand gold coins, along with the dollar bills that he has amassed. "Well, this is just about everything that covers up the cost!" Waluigi then motioned his right hand. "Now, if you please..."

The red-colored accountancy crab nodded as he shook Waluigi's hand, proclaiming, "Congratulations, sir. You are now the owner of the Meadow Meadows."

Waluigi cheered as he did a victory dance, showing off the peace sign as he ran out of the building, jumping back on his Phantom and heading southwest, the sun shining brightly as the clear blue sky looked down on the huge city. Waluigi continued heading southward as the highway extended out of Central City, heading over the lush salty sea as the volcano and jungle were both visible to the right, which a chocolate-created canyon right next to it. Waluigi continued, seeing a large, tropical sun-drenched beach to the right, on the left nothing but parts of Central City and the wide open ocean. Waluigi then turned to the left, heading westward as the highway went over the beach. Waluigi noticed that the highway was heading more towards the right, before ending at a large parking lot. Waluigi spotted a wooden ramp, and he ran over it, jumping over the highway as he landed on the patch of grass on the other side, continuing westward as he left behind the beach and continued heading straight down the huge, open grassy meadows, which turned out to be the Meadow Meadows.

"Oh yeah! I'm totally feeling the nice breeze!" Waluigi commented as he laughed out of joy, doing some wheeling as he got a nice refreshing blast to his face. Taking one last glance behind him, Waluigi noticed the surroundings being replaced with large, green grassy hills, something that made the meadows more in touch with itself than the outside world. At long last, Waluigi stopped towards the middle, where he seemed to have reached the westernmost point of the meadows. Getting off of his bike, Waluigi placed his grill, deep fryer, and his cooler all next to each other on the smooth grass, followed by his trophies and awards. He then took out the rainbow-painted blanket he used as his bed, setting it down on the grass as Waluigi stretched his arms, placing them both on his sides as he looked all around him, the meadows being a truly beautiful sight. Sighing as he smiled, Waluigi settled on his blanket, closing his eyes as he admitted, "Well, after ten years of nothing but coming back to a small, dank dump behind the highway from all those fancy sports and parties, I finally have a huge open meadow all to myself..." He laughed for several seconds as he then sighed, resorting to relaxation as the clear blue sky permitted that it was going to be a beautiful day.