(A.N.) "Oh goodness, not this again."
Hey everybody! This is a new story, co-authored with Kitsune818—major credit goes to him. And let me make this clear—the contestants have already been chosen--but they could be yours. These are heroes and villains from past seasons already created, hence the name. Anyways, enjoy, and I apologize for the copious amount of dialog in this chapter.
For Total Drama Island, there have always been the standout 'good' guys and 'bad' guys. Rest assured, people weren't walking around, appraising the camera, and announcing: "Hey, I'm evil," but for some folks, they might have well.
The bad have come in many different forms: the queen bees, the crazy psychos, the loud-mouthed rebellious types, or the people who made you want to throttle them--who cares if they're fictional?
The good have also had their discrepancies: the quiet, brooding folks, the peppy but friendly girls, the brave, heroic boys, and Owen, who gets a category all to himself.
With all these contestants that have ever graced the Total Drama stage (the number is in the hundreds) it's hard to keep track of them all. It's difficult to remember names, especially if you're pulling contestants from all sorts of different seasons, and combining them together for a heroes-versus-villains escapade.
"Hey! You, intern—yeah, you! Do you have my sheet of paper—y'know, the one that has all the contestants' names on it?"
Then again, it helps if you have a cheat sheet.
A red-faced intern handed Chris McLean a small slip of paper before ducking away, out of the view of the camera. Chris, standing on the Dock of Shame, skimmed over the paper, nodding to himself and mumbling incorrect pronunciations of the contestants' names.
"Twenty-four campers?" Chris complained to himself, scowling, "I don't even remember half these people. How many seasons have we had now, anyways? Double digits, I think…"
"Chris," an impatient voice called, from behind the camera, "we're rolling."
"Oh fine," Chris continued to grumble. He shoved the cheat sheet in his pocket in a not-so-stealthy fashion, and gave the camera his trademark dazzling grin.
"Yo, dudes! We're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa. This is Chris McLean, your favorite TV host, dropping the next season of the hit Total Drama series! You may remember past season such as Camp TV, Total Drama: Again, and Total Drama Crazy. We've had an excess of awesome competitors, and a handful of winners. Well, it's time to start again, but with a twist.
"This time, we've hand-picked all of our contestants from past seasons. We've matched up twelve of the noblest heroes against twelve of the most notorious villains, and are pitting them against each other in the most epic battle of 'good vs. evil' ever in TD history! So get ready, because this is Total Drama Island, Heroes... versus... Villains!"
Chris clapped his hands together, as if trying to get the attention of a rowdy class. "Alright! So, we've got twenty-four campers for this season, twelve villains, and twelve heroes. Six of each gender on each team. We've cherry-picked the best—and for that matter, the worst—too. Now, I'm sure you all recognize this place, right?"
He gestured towards the scenery around him—Camp Wawanakwa, AKA: the place where dreams die. Nothing had changed, really. The camera went through a few flashes of the place: green foliage, the cabins, creepy red eyes staring from the forest, and Chef, who was wearing a pink, bedazzled (1) dress. Chef threw a ladle at the camera.
"Our contestants will stay here for…how ever long I feel like it," Chris informed the audience, with a 'let's-kick-a-puppy' smile to top it off. "Our contestants aren't arriving today, but you should probably know who you're gonna have to watch this whole season, so…" Chris whipped out his cheat sheet and started from the top of the list.
"Let's start with the heroes!
"Seth Fujimoto—as seen in: 'Camp TV'. Seth is a karate expert, nicknamed the 'Chopper', and is overall a good, friendly guy. Dude, this sounds like something off a dating website…
"Riley Silver—as seen in: 'Camp TV'. Riley is Seth's love interest, and is a spunky gamer who's loyal to her friends. She's not the only 'Riley' this season, actually, so we either have to call her 'Riley S.' or 'Riley-the-girl'. Or 'Ramdor'.
"Mozart Squiteri—as seen in 'Total Drama Again'. Mozart is a relaxed rocker, and is pretty tolerant of everyone—aside from, apparently, stalker girls. Oh man, do I feel for you there…
"Aaron Something-something-something," Chris squinted at the paper. "Whatever this dude's last name is (2)…?" With a shrug of defeat, Chris continued. "Anyways, Aaron was also from 'Total Drama Again'. He's a humorous skirt-chaser, a regular Casanova…
"Jessica Skidmore—another one from 'Total Drama Again'. She's a tough skater girl, and is kind of assuming, but is brave and loyal to her friends. Oh boy, but when she gets a grudge…!
"Rosetta Hawthorne—from 'TDI, Season Two!'. Uh, Rosetta is a bit…temperamental…but she's strong-willed and a good teacher. Wait, 'good teacher'? What the heck? This isn't a job interview!
"Bren Tenkage—previously from 'Total Drama Island: Again'. Bren is a strong camper, physically and mentally, and…is overall a good guy…I guess…
"Kathleen 'Kit-Kat' McCartney, seen from 'Total Drama Island: Again!', is a cookie-baking chick who thinks in pink and blue. She like, freaks out if she upsets anyone…it's pretty entertaining, actually.
"Glisa Hernandez, also from 'Total Drama Island: Again!', is our Spanglish-speaking party animal! She's a fun, loud niña, and will have people taking out Spanish-to-English dictionaries all over the country!
"Damion Flawson hails from 'Total Drama Island Starring YOU!', and is all about his friends—although, frankly, he can blurt out some very stupid things, man…like criticizing Eva's clothing!
"Demi Johnson is linked with 'Total Drama Island Starring YOU!', and is a self-proclaimed weirdo, which should tell you enough. But other then that, she's a quiet, Gothic novelist.
"Finally we have Yami, Long—Long being his first name, that is. Long comes from 'Total Drama Accel', and is a quiet, intelligent fellow, who has a pet fox Kitsune that he will not stop petting."
Chris exhaled, clearly exhausted, but he grins towards the camera once more.
"Now, for the more entertaining portion, the villains…
"Lola Linford, straight out of 'Camp TV'. A regular queen bee, the queen bee to hail over queen bees, Lola didn't even care about her brother's welfare! With underhanded tricks and slights, Lola is sure to be hated by everyone in a fifty-mile radius. Great!
"Logan Dale, hailing from 'Camp TV', is the resident bad boy, the delinquent—but he has a spot that's as soft as uncooked dough. (To warn you, though, that spot's mostly reserved for cute girls.)
"Chelsea Richey, from 'Total Drama Again', is our next villain. She's a spunky pyromaniac with some slight socializing difficulties. She tends to get ticked off easily, and well…she's just very, very loud.
"Riley Fox is next, and he returns from 'TDI, Season Two!'. He's a cocky, sardonic, manipulative genius. He's not much of an athlete, but compensates with an ego that's bigger than the money Goldman Sachs ripped off!
"Laura Doopliss is our next contestant, and is another villain from 'TDI, Season Two!'. She's as shallow as a kiddy pool, and her attitude runs as hot and cold as a broken gym shower!"
(This story is brought to you by similes: fun for the whole family!)
"Arlen Fritz is coming to us from 'Total Drama Winter'. He's a self-proclaimed 'gangster'," at this, Chris made a really ridiculous MC Hammer gesture, "and litters his speech with innuendos and jibes at others.
"Jack Bishop is our first villain from 'Total Drama Island Starring YOU!'. He's a thieving jerk, and is excellent friends with our next villain…
"And that man would be Isaac Clark, another fellow from 'Total Drama Island Starring YOU!'. Isaac is rough and tough, and would probably punch me in the face for rhyming.
"Next villain, Zane Selleck, is coming to us from 'Total Drama the New Challenge'. Zane is a bitter, lonely, bookworm fellow. He's rather sarcastic, also…
"From the same vein as Zack is Zarya, our other villain from 'Total Drama the New Challenge'. Zarya is a bitter, lonely chickadee…ergo, perfect match for Zane!
"Sienna Van Der Woodsen is our female fatale from 'Total Drama Island: Again!'. She's snide, and a bit cruel, but surprisingly enough for a queen bee like her, she's had her good moments…
"Finally, we have Lacey Merceau, who also comes from 'Total Drama Island: Again!'! She's the nonconformist—the rebellious type—who gets loud when the situation calls for it." Chris smirked. "And, sometimes, when it doesn't…"
With this long introduction over with, Chris walked down the length of the Dock of Shame, and sashayed his way towards the Wawanakwa campsite.
(Confession Cam: We just wanted to use the word 'sashayed'.)
Chris McLean: "The contestants will wail and moan in here—this handy little outhouse. Thankfully, they'll do most of their complaining in here, so we won't have to hear it."
When the static cleared, Chris was seated on a folding chair, on the beach, donning sunglasses and a god-awful Hawaiian (3) shirt.
"Yo!" He greeted the unseen audience. "We've almost got our extensive intro done with…next time you see us, we'll actually have something going on. We think. In any case, we leave you with a few closing statements…Chef, can you help us?"
The camera switched to Chef, who was wearing a military outfit and pointing a frightening finger at the camera.
"HEY!" He barked. "Let me lay down some starting points, which we have no way of enforcing!
"First of all—we are not accepting new applications! Those contestants Chris went over? That was IT! E-E-T, it!
"Second of all--" Chef's angry face became angrier, somehow, "follow the footnotes for what we want you to send in, or re-send!" (4)
"And third of all--" Chef took a breath, and then paused, trying to think of a rule to finish his rant with. "Third of all…Jon Stewart definitely beats out Bernie Goldberg."
Chef leered at the camera, and cracked his knuckles, and then his neck. (And then his knee, his elbow, his chin, his esophagus, and the knuckles of the nearest intern.)
"Well then, what are you waiting for?" He shouted at the camera, flailing his arms like the madman he was. "Move maggots, move!"
(A.N.) Well…there you go?
Anyways, time to give credit where credit is due!
Seth Fujimoto (kitsune818), Bren Tenkage (Bren Tenkage), Jess Skidmore (SouthParkCraigLover), Riley Silver (Shikamaru's Twin), Damion Flawson (Simply-Dakota), Mozart "Mo" Squiteri (Black Cat of Arda), Aaron (insert last name here) (reavensreplica), Kathleen McCartney (Noire Ballerina), Yami Long (Kunnaki), Glisa Hernandez (One Black Rose), Demi Johnson (ILoveZeroKiryu), Rosetta Hawthorne (me).
Chelsea Richey (Psycho-Pyro-Maniac), Lola Linford (author999), Zane Selleck (ultimateTORINOR), Logan Dale (realityshowfan), Jack Bishop (Can't Spell Beautiful), Isaac Clark (Can't Spell Beautiful), Zarya Sashura (smartnsporty), Sienna Van Der Woodsen (GossipQueen101), Arlen Fritz (Disney Princess Dani), Lacey Merceau (Ktd123), Riley Fox (Me), and Laura Doopliss (BroadwayBabe4).
As for the stories, here's what we've got:
Camp TV by beautifulxlife, Total Drama: Again by CamperThirteen, Total Drama Island: Again by Ktd123, Total Drama Winter by Just Another Fanatic, Total Drama Island starring YOU! by smartnsporty, Total Drama the New Challenge by ultimateTORINOR, and Total Drama Accel by HouroftheRaven.
Okay, yeah, that's everything on that account.
(1) I'm seriously alarmed they didn't count 'bedazzled' as a misspelled word.
(2) Well, he had no given last name…
(3) Hawaiian is officially the hardest word to spell. I was rather frustrated and too prideful to submit to 'spell-check'.
(4) First of all--congrats if you got picked! And thanks to kistune818, I didn't have to any of the star-searching. Anyways, for those who were chosen, I'd really appreciate it if you could re-send your camper's appearance (in case you tweaked anything), fears, talents, history (competition-wise and otherwise), and which campers they would like & dislike.
Many thanks for tolerating this insanity!