Repairing the Damage
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing at all.
Bella sat in the Cullen living room, reading her favorite copy of Wuthering Heights. Everyone was out hunting, including Edward and Nessie. She had hunted last night after she and Edward partook in certain activities. Edward was supposed to go with her, but Nessie had gotten nightmares about the Volturi's recent visit. So she went alone. Now Edward went with everyone else. Bella was bored. She almost wished that she was terrified for her family because it would be something to do. Almost.
Suddenly, she could hear them coming. But something was not right. She could hear their voices and the tone of their voices. Soothing. Disappointment. Self-loathing. Upset. What had happened? Her question was soon answered.
"I shouldn't have....... What have I done?" came Jasper's voice. There was the self-loathing.
"You couldn't control yourself. It's natural!" she heard Alice say. Soothing.
"You can't expect yourself to get a perfect record," Carlisle added. Ah. He had hunted a human. Bella watched as the Cullens filed in. She could see all their faces. Emmett was not visibly upset. He was standing next to Jasper, silently comforting Jasper with his emotions. Esme stood near Carlisle, her face pitying. Carlisle walked on one side of Jasper. His eyes portrayed mostly pity and the tiniest amount of disappointment. Rosalie. She was very upset but not for herself. Jasper was her favorite brother and even though they weren't twins, they acted like them. Rosalie hated having her brother sad. Alice stood on the other side of Jasper, gently hugging him and consoling him.
"Even Bella, the newborn, has a better record than I," Jasper stated unhappily.
Bella noticed Edward and Nessie weren't with them and said, "Where is Edward and Renesmee?" She had purposely chose that moment to speak, cutting off whatever Carlisle was about to say. Jasper, she noticed, did not like all the pitying looks.
"Edward went to take Renesmee to the cottage," Esme answered.
"I should have seen the hiker," Alice mumbled regretfully. Jasper was about to speak again, but Bella spoke again.
"Alice, why don't you guys let me talk to Jasper alone," she suggested. Everyone cocked their heads to the side, curious as to what she might want to say. "I know you will still hear us, but it will give us the illusion of privacy." They complied and let Bella talk to Jasper alone in the living room.
"You are making them upset," Bella said to her scarred brother. He was staring out the window mournfully.
"That's all I seem to do these days," Jasper replied, still staring blankly out the window.
"Nonsense. It's part of who you are. Vampires are made to drink human blood, not resist it."
"You didn't devour Charlie on your, what was it? Second day as a vampire."
"No. But I already knew what I was doing and was prepared. Plus I am sort of a freak." Jasper smiled lightly at his young sister's joke. But the smile disappeared when he spoke again.
"I don't know why my family keeps me around," Jasper admitted. He heard Bella sit back down on the sofa.
"Come sit next to me Jasper," Bella said. Her tone left no room for argument. Slowly, he lowered himself onto the white sofa.
"You really are dense, aren't you. The Cullens keep you around because they love you," Bella started.
"They love Alice," Jasper quietly corrected. The pair heard movements upstairs, as if the family was about to come down and tell him off. They probably were.
"Shall we analyze the Cullen family?" Bella asked rhetorically. She received no answer. "Let's start with an easy one. Carlisle. He represents the father and the fearless leader. Esme. She is the mother, and to her we are her children." Jasper didn't speak, just nodded his head numbly. "Rosalie is the loyalty and the ferocity. She makes the family stay together by protecting everyone in it from harm. Emmett is the laughter and humor. And occasionally the brawn." Jasper nodded again but a small grin ghosted upon his face. They could here Emmett chuckling quietly above them. "Alice is the bubbly one who makes our family feel like a real one by creating sibling arguments. Plus she makes us look more pretty than we already are." Again, the former soldier grinned, but this time it stuck. "Edward is the one who keeps us all in check. Like the teenage version of Carlisle, except melodramatic and moody." Everyone upstairs laughed at that one. Jasper and Bella even joined in. "Renesmee. She is our wish come true. She is the long lost humanity. A small gift to us from who knows. Someone to remind us of what we once were and what we want to be." At that, Bella smiled widely. "Me. I don't really know what I am except for Edward's mate and Renesmee's mother." Bella frowned, a small crease forming between her brows.
"You are the forgiveness and the light that shows us that we are wonderful in our own way," Jasper said, speaking up for the first time. Bella's face cleared and she beamed at Jasper before talking again.
"Thank you Jasper. And just for kicks, lets do Jacob," she said smirking. Jasper chuckled in anticipation. You could hear the others doing the same upstairs. "Jacob is the friend that is not a vampire. He is, like Renesmee, a reminder of our humanity." Bella could tell that Jasper didn't understand. "For years the Cullens have been unable to form a true friendship with anyone who is not a vampire. I was the first one to fill that role. But when I was turned, the role disappeared. Now with Jacob, that space is filled again. We all consider him a friend. Well maybe not Rosalie." She smirked again.
"You are forgetting someone," Jasper said.
"Nope, not forgetting," Bella responded. "Just saving the one with the most significance right now for last. You also represent humanity. But in a different way. While Renesmee and Jacob symbolize components of humanity, you are humanity. You struggle everyday for the safety of human life. Not like Carlisle does though. Noble as he is, he does it in a different way. You fight your instincts, not diseases! Humans everyday are fighting themselves to preserve life, most often their own. Need an metaphor?" Bella asked, seeing Jasper's confused face. She thought for a while before speaking again. "A heroin addict. Let's name this heroin addict Jack." Jasper smiled again at Bella's thinly veiled comparison of 'Jack' to himself. "Jack does have some amount of self-preservation that didn't succumb to drug addiction. He knows what is wrong with himself, he just doesn't know how to fix it. Jack signs himself into rehab, where he slowly overcomes his addiction and learns to cope. He still fights everyday not to reach for that shiny tin at the top shelf of his bookcase. And rarely, he slips up. Jack swears each time that it will be the last and one day, it will be."
Jasper listened to his little sister's pearl of wisdom. When Bella finished, no one made a sound. Then, Jasper leaned over to hug his sister. He wispered, "Thank you."
"Anything for you Jazz."
She had done it. Bella had repaired the damage.
A/N: Thank you for reading my story! It's my first one, so please take the time to review. Flames will be used to strengthen my skin! :)