A/N: So...I've decided to finally start a 100 Royai Themes thing on my own, seeing as I'm a big fan. This is mostly Ed-centric, but don't worry; he's a Royai fan too XD Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, shape, or form, own Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did, I wouldn't make my readers wait for an entire month for the next chapter XD

Life in the military would be hell.

Edward Elric knew this. But he was willing, at just twelve years old, to do anything to get Al's body back. Even if it meant joining the military and becoming a State Alchemist.

And so, being a dog of the military, Ed got to know some of the personnel at Eastern Headquarters that had to bark alongside him.

A few could be a downright pain in the ass.

One particular Colonel Bastard, specifically.

Ed didn't mind Mustang's subordinates—they were nice enough and didn't crack short jokes (No, he was not short!) whenever he came by. Mustang, on the other hand, was an entirely different story.

But in the back of his mind, Ed knew that Mustang meant well, and that the colonel did care for the Elrics.

Thus, Ed slowly found himself starting to care for that damn colonel as well.

He noticed the relationship between Hawkeye and Mustang almost immediately. It wasn't that subtle, since even a twelve-year-old could see it (though he was a gifted, not short, twelve-year-old). Havoc had informed him about a betting pool going around the office of when the lieutenant and her colonel would finally hook up. Ed told Havoc that he would feel bad taking all of the officers' money, so he decided to opt out of the betting.

But in reality, Ed didn't know when it would happen. He had no clue whatsoever. Every time he came back to Eastern HQ he expected the two to finally be dating. Or even be married. It was so blatantly obvious that Mustang should just get some guts and ask his woman out already!

"Maybe it's a military thing," he decided out loud. "Something about pretending that you don't care about each other when it's so obvious that you do."

"Yeah, I think you're right, Brother," Al agreed.

"That's messed up," Ed declared. "Why can't Mustang and Hawkeye just admit they have feelings for each other? Everyone can see that they'd go together perfectly, and Mustang's always flirting with other women to get her attention, and who knows what Hakweye's thinking about when she stands right behind him all day, but I bet it isn't just about work."

"Oh…" Al chuckled sheepishly after a long pause. "I thought you were talking about you and Winry…"

"…" Ed suddenly got very red in the face. "Shut up, Al."

A/N: So...good? Bad? I know the transition of all the different subjects in the beginning is a bit rough, but yeah. I had no other ideas for how to do this. And I couldn't resist the little EdxWinry insert at the end XD Sorry about that.

Anyways, reviews are appreciated! This is my first multi-chapter fic, so reviews will keep me going :D