Originally written for the ME1 Fic-A-Thon over at masseffect on LiveJournal. One sentence to one paragraph based on words from a random word generator.



"Corpsman Candy?" Garrus asked, puzzled. "Doctor Chakwas, that's Medi-gel. Not candy."


Kaidan's never been shy a day in his life. Then he sees the prettiest girl he's ever seen step down the ladderwell and line up with the rest of the kids. Suddenly, Kaidan's mouth stops working. He knows Rahna must think he's the most foolish boy she's ever met.


He's served one mission with her, and already he's wishing for another one with her. Savior of Terra Nova? Hell, yeah! "You're insane, you know that right?" Kaidan asks his commanding officer with a grin. Shepard only shrugs. "I prefer borderline psychotic," she says, straight-faced. "I am a sniper after all." And damn him if he can't tell if she's joking or not. He had been.


Ash makes a face at the concoction the krogan just handed her. "You've got a warped sense of humor, Wrex," she says after taking a swig of what she thought was orange juice. Wrex only chuckles. Ash wants to cut out her tongue.


"You're a dead man, Moreau," Ashley growls through clenched teeth and with a sour expression painted upon her face. Held between two fingers is a crusty, stiff sock.



The Chief had had six beers, two mixed drinks and two shots of tequila. Now, the little bundle of drunkenness was pulling his ass onto the dance floor, and Shepard? Shepard was no help. What. So. Ever.


"What are you, a cat showing off your kill?" Ashley questions holding up yet another nasty sock. Joker shrugs innocently. "I promise that wasn't me this time," he tells her holding up his hands as though to fend her off. She eyes him warily before chucking the disgusting thing into the incinerator. On the other side of the mess, Fredericks explodes into a fit of giggles.


He reaches for her as dark matter spreads over her body, distorting her nudity ever so slightly. It's the most beautiful thing Kaidan has ever seen.


"Danger nut?!" The question echoes off the walls of the Normandy. Unfortunately—or not—Joker had the comm on and the whole of CIC knows their new CO is royally pissed.


Shepard blinked up at the thing called a Thorian. "We are going to need bigger guns," she murmured. "No," Kaidan replied. "Anti-fungus cream. Ma'am."



Wrex had never been so pissed… Well, there was that time on Hathor… No. He'd never been so pissed as now. Even as he fired into the water to alleviate some of the anger. That fucking salarian hadn't even been thought of during The War. The krogan were lost but they'd never been a mistake. The mistake was staying in one place and allowing the infection to happen to begin with.


"It's the itteh-bitteh kitteh brigade!" Joker announces as Hendricks and Williams step onto the bridge for their bridge rotation duty. Hendricks rolls her eyes. Ash has no idea that he's joking and launches into a tirade before Pressly explains—laughing the entire time—that Joker is an ass and anything he says should be taken with a grain of salt and then some. Joker only grins merrily. Flying the Normandy and ruffling female crew members' feathers are his specialties. He'll get 'em into bed eventually. Women were weird that way.


"It costs how much?"


"I know how this works, Shepard," Kaidan insists even as he's typing in the hacking sequence into the Luna module. "Mostly," he adds sheepishly when the computer in question begins a self-destruct countdown.


"The Big Bang ain't got nothing on you, Commander," Joker says over his shoulder as Shepard, Alenko, and Vakarian stagger in from the airlock and the recently-exploded MSV Ontario.



"By the Goddess," Liara whispered as she stepped out of the Mako, "the parhelia are beautiful here." Shepard nodded, looking at the rings and spots around the blue sun. The sundogs were the only thing remotely nice about this remote rock of ice.


"It's dead, Wrex."


"Whee!" Joker laughed. Pressly rolled his eyes from Nav. Hendricks looked ready to lose her lunch. Alenko watched patiently from his station, monitoring the meteoroid's proximity from the ship's shields. "Decimal zero niner five," he told the pilot. Joker gave a proud smile.


Ashley frowned as she read her email. Some else had gotten her address. And someone else had sent her a threatening message. Would the harassment never end? Like it was Granddad's fault the turians were killing everyone on Shanxi.


Tali blinked. "Pukes?" she asked Chief Engineer Adams. "They're engineers. Why are they called pukes?" Adams only smiled.

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