This is a short-one shot that I came up with that I thought was humorous. I hope you enjoy and Please review. Thank you ahead of time.
Chapter 1: Issac the Loony
Issac ran up a hill and saw three necromorphs standing there. "Oh look, three freaks standing together for slaughter, what do you think George?" Issac said aiming his plasma cutter at the three who ran over to a leystone and disappeared. "Great, the disappeared into a rock, I guess that's not completely surprising." Issac ran over to the leystone and used it to transport himself. When he reappeared, it is in a hospital on some steps. Issac looked around. "Hey look, a morgue, what a great place to be." Issac said looking down the stairs. "Come on brad." Issac said running down the stairs and into the morgue below. "This is a horrible place for an infector to be." Issac said seeing the infector bring back some bodies. Issac was about to shoot it when he got hit in the back. Issac turned around. "Oh no you didn't." Issac said shooting the necromorphs arms off. Issac then turned back around and shot the other necromorphs that are now coming at him. He shot off each of their arms and a leg. "Now where is that infector, do you see him Max?" Issac asked. Then the infector came from around the corner and Issac shot him down dead. "You see that shot Megan? Anyway, why don't you join me at my place after all of this is done?" Issac asked.
"First off, no matter where you go I'm going to go because I'm all in your head. You're a loony Issac, get your head together." The figment said.
"Don't be so harsh Jake; let's go get us some more necromorphs." The figment shook it's head, at least that's what Issac saw. The two went back upstairs and back into the leystone. Issac ended up in an open field. "They wouldn't be here, its far too open." Issac then went back into the leystone and ended up at a hotel. "This seems like a good place to go. Come on Elliot." Issac ran up some stairs and saw two necromorphs summing at him. Quickly Issac shot one in the head and then the other in it's legs. Issac soon got hit in the back. Issac turned and shot the thing in the head and then blew off it's arms. Issac quickly turned around and shot the other two dead. "This is great fun isn't it Alex?"
"Issac, shut up already. I'm not even real, why don't you focus and get yourself together." The figment said.
"I'm fine Julie." Issac said.
"That's the other thing, you keep changing my name and my sex and I don't even exist. What is wrong with you man, you're arguing with a figment of your imagination." The figment said.
"No I'm not, quit lying Sam, you big joker." Issac said.
"Again, you changed my name for the umpteenth time already." The figment said.
"NO I didn't Valerie." Issac said.
"Again, you changed my sex." The figment complained.
"No I didn't Sal." Issac said. "Now focus on the problem." Issac said running forward and down the hall.
"Really, I should just stop; he doesn't listen to his own figment anyway." The figment said.
"Yes I do Kevin." Issac said shooting of the head off a necromorph.
"No Issac, you don't listen to me at all because if you did, you would stop changing who and what I am. You're just a loony Issac and if I didn't know any better I'd say you're drunk." The figment said.
"I'm not drunk silly, I'm perfectly fine." Issac said running into another room.
"NO Issac, you are in no way ok, because if you were, you wouldn't be arguing with me about things because I don't exist." The figment said.
"Yes you do Jennifer. If you didn't exist, how could you talk to me and how could I talk to you?" Issac said blowing apart more necromorphs. Issac just continued on with his rampage on the necromorphs. After about twenty minutes of walking around killing things, Issac finally stopped and picked up some lunch. "You want something Taylor."
"No Issac, I really don't, in fact, I can't eat because I don't exist." The figment said.
"Of course you do Victoria; why else would I talk to you." Issac asked eating a piece of bread, or at least he thinks he is.
"Why do I try and convince him of anything?" The figment said sitting next to Issac, at least that's what Issac saw. Everyone else just saw Issac eating air.
Soon Issac was off again and went through another leystone which led them to a mall. The mall was full of necromorphs. "Let's get them Tara." Issac said running off to kill everything.
Soon Issac had killed everything in the mall and then with a start, woke from his dream. "That was the oddest dream that I've ever had." Issac said and then saw a necromorph and then woke up again as it attacked. After a few more times of this, Issac woke up again and saw people swarming him and then saw Nicole. "Screw it, I preferred when I was asleep." Issac said falling asleep again.