AN: I know I should be working on my other story and I am but I had this stuck in my head all week so here you are. The song is You were meant for me by Jewel. Enjoy
"You Were Meant For Me"
I hear the clock, it's six a.m.
I feel so far from where I've been
I got my eggs I got my pancakes too
I got my maple syrup, everything but you.
Penny busied herself with breakfast trying not to think of the last few weeks. Stupid, that's all she could call herself. When she lay alone at night in bed she hid under the covers as if that would make her situation better. But morning would come and her alarm would ring and the world was exactly how she left it and she was stupid.
She had been a coward and after the whole Leonard fiasco had saved as much money as she could and moved away. She didn't speak to her new neighbors, they were nice enough people, perfect neighbors quite and didn't keep a large yapping dog. But she missed Thai night and god she even missed being forced to watch Battlestar Galactica with the commentary on.
She missed her friends. She missed him.
I break the yolks, make a smiley face
I kinda like it in my brand new place
I wipe the spots off the mirror
Don't leave the keys in the door
Never put wet towels on the floor anymore' cause
Dreams last so long
even after you're gone.
She thought he would be the last one of them she missed, but she missed him the most. He still emailed her from time to time. But each email got shorter and the last had said simply 'where are you?' She wished she had the courage to email him back to tell him that she was acting now. Only in a small theatre but it was a regular gig and it paid the rent, she bartended at a TGI's every Tuesday and would still hold to the routine of new comic book Wednesday – though she would simply drive by. She would see them in there and wondered if she would ever get the courage to just walk in there and go up to him.
I know you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you.
She remembers the last time they saw each other, her boxes were packed the Uhaul downstairs. He had stood there in her doorway with those big sad eyes. She hadn't said anything just looked at him and hoped with every inch of her body he would say 'Stay'. If he had said that one word she would have gladly stayed and unpacked. But he simply stood there with his eyes bigger and sadder then she had ever seen on a grown mans face – he broke her heart. As she had passed him and closed her door for the last time he reached for her arm. She stood there within an inch of him as he silently and gently held her upper arm. He didn't say a word. Any other time she loved making him lost for words but now she wanted a speech and triad of terms and theories as to why she had to stay. Nothing came. So she left and as she looked back she saw him look down at her one last time and then he slipped into his apartment and shut the door.
I called my momma, she was out for a walk
Consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk
So I picked up a paper, it was more bad news
More hearts being broken or people being used
Put on my coat in the pouring rain
I saw a movie it just wasn't the same
She always liked going to the movies on her own when she had time to kill. Now she had all the time in the world it seemed and hated being alone so the new Johnny Depp movie was a perfect excuse to be out of the house and it stopped her from thinking. She had gotten soaked by the sudden downpour as she had dashed from the car park to the theatre but she didn't care. Who need perfect hair when there was no one to compliment it?
The movie had been a bad idea, the one she had wanted to see was sold out so she was stuck in the weepy one and she wept, and wept and wept. Not over the movie but over the fact she was stupid, just as stupid as the woman and man in the movie who missed there chance at true love and then it was too late. Was it too late for her? Who knew? He would never admit he was wrong and she was equally stupid not to break.
'Cause it was happy or I was sad
It made me miss you oh so bad 'cause
Dreams last so long
Even after you're gone
I know you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you.
Months had past now in her new apartment and she had to admit it was better when it was neater. She was getting good at putting things away, not as anally as most but it was neat. Work was going well and she had even been nominated for a small independent theatre award. The nomination had brought her offers of TV shows and she had even been a patient on House – her Mom had been so proud. She wondered if he had seen it. He hadn't emailed now in three months. Not even a 'like' on one of her many Facebook status updates. He had forgotten her. When that thought crept into her head she sat and cried. So she turned to work, put all the pain she felt into the part of Ophelia, yes she was actually playing Ophelia. A dream part and her director said she was simply amazing. Penny felt for Ophelia, another silly woman wronged by rejection and a man to stubborn to admit he really loves her.
I go about my business, I'm doing fine
Besides what would I say if I had you on the line
Same old story, not much to say
Hearts are broken, everyday.
She won the award and it sat proudly on her shelf next to her Halo trophy which the boys had given her. She was now being offered Shakespeare on Broadway. It was the chance of a lifetime; Broadway was like a dream come true. She emailed him that night to tell him she was leaving Pasadena forever, that she hoped he was happy, that she missed him. After three glasses of wine she sent a second email simply saying 'come too'.
I brush my teeth and put the cap back on
I know you hate it when I leave the light on
I pick a book up. Turn the sheets down.
And then I take a deep breath and a good look around
Put on my pjs and hop into bed
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead
I try and tell myself it'll be all right
Third email and she had finished the wine 'I love you'. Then she put her laptop on the floor and fell asleep.
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight 'cause
Dreams last so long
Even after you're gone
When she woke up the next morning her head was pounding and there was a faint memory of emailing him. But she had been drunk since she had left 4B and never done that so she pretended it hadn't happened. She did check her inbox 'empty' and without looking at them deleted her sent messages. She had a busy day of getting boxes together and sorting out how to move all her stuff to New York.
I know you love me
And soon you will see
You were meant for me
And I was meant for you
She loved New York more then she thought she would. She loved the smell and the sounds and even the fact that it froze in the winter. She was now Lady Macbeth and had a Tony Award nomination - she was even working with Patrick Stewart; whom she told the stories of evil Will Wheaton. But for all the emails she received still nothing from the one person she wanted to hear from most.
She told one of her girlfriends the story of him one night after rejecting another suit in a Manhattan bar. She told her everything and she had been told to forget him and move on; maybe he wasn't the one. But Penny knew from the tips of her toes to the top of her head he had always been meant for her.
It was a year now since she had left California and every night she still thought of him. What was he doing now? Did he even register she was gone? Her Tony now sat along side her other awards and she had been offered a role in London. One more email she thought as she sat at her computer. 'Moving to London on the sixth of June.' Maybe he would reply but it had been eighteen months since her last email and her wine filled declaration of love.
Three days passed and still nothing, 'forget him' her girlfriends told her 'find a nice Duke' But there was still no one but him.
Two days until she moved and yet again her boxes were packed and this time they were being shipped to the other side of the Atlantic She looked around her Village loft and wondered when she would be stateside again. She sighed and got ready for her leaving party which was being held in the bar next to the theatre. She walked in and was hugged by almost everyone she saw each congratulating her success and praised her for her heartbreaking performances.
She had just started to sip her vodka soda when a hand took her arm.
"I'm sorry. I love you too." He said as he nervously leant down and kissed her.
Yeah... You were meant for me and I was meant for you.